Chapter 2: Struggles

Of all of the people to be hurt by her dying, I bet you wouldn't have figured that I would be the brunt of it all. Go figure.

I loved KB as much as the next person, heck, more than most people. I've known her for the longest time. Since our Hogwarts years, that is. Helluva quidditch player, that girl was. Not bad at getting out of trouble, either. She was never bad at anything, I remember. She struggled sometimes. But she was never bad.

I'm trying to be like her and struggle through it. I'm trying not to admit defeat. I never admit defeat. But it is getting so hard to struggle. I just want to admit to everyone that I'm not mature enough to go through this, and I never will be. That I will never be ready for this heartache and misery that this has brought into my usual merry and blissful life.

If Katie had known in what a place she had put us into when this tragedy occurred, she wouldn't have done it. Died, that is. She would have hung on by the skin of her teeth. She would have had to have been dragged kicking and screaming into hell by the Grim Reaper himself.

But she didn't go to hell, I'm sure. And she didn't hold on. She didn't know she had to. She didn't know what it would have brought, and that I would have to carry most of the weight myself.

George walks around like death itself when he isn't holed up inside our old room, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling intently. Quietly. Now he is silent as he casts his eyes over the plaster. Right after it happened, he used to pray a lot. Asking God to take care of her, and to make sure that she will always be alright. Because that used to be his job. Not officially, not yet, anyway. But he did. Throughout Hogwarts and even still after. Sometime between there he gave her a ring. You see, to George that meant that he would always be there for her. I think that he feels guilty. He broke his promise. They were never even married. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, and every other nameable holiday, Katie would come over to stay here at the Burrow. Her family wasn't the kind that would get together. They were more of the Christmas cards types and the people who shook hands with old friends rather than giving hugs.

Mum and Ginny loved having here. Someone to dote on, they loved that. And Katie and George couldn't have been happier. George and I had our joke shop, Katie had her career, and they both had each other. Everything was fine and dandy.

Mum has gotten rather somber. Her motherly charm had somehow gotten greater, But in a worried way. She is always worried about something happening to one of her children. After all, something had happened to Katie, one of her 'adoptive' children. Now she worries constantly. It's hard to get away from.

And Angelina. Angelina, Angelina, Angelina. Light of my bloody life. She's changed. So much. I still love her…more that anyone in the world. But she's quieter. Darker in the sense that she acts like she will never see another happy thing in her life. I remember what fun we had. We've only been married for a couple of months, but already I can feel her pulling away. She doesn't want to be comforted and she doesn't want me right now. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. If George was entirely here, we would have a talk about 'those bloody beautiful women' over a fire whisky. Maybe even with Charlie or Bill. But I am so lost. None of us wanted to lose Katie, why is she taking it out on us? Can't she talk to me about it?

Sometimes, I don't want to understand anymore.

Sometimes, I want to know why God did this to us. The worst thing that we all ever did was flood the hallway on the second floor. Maybe even using that Hurling Hex on Flint once. But why would he punish us for that? Katie was always the one that kept us from being logical for too long. Helped up with our finances. Joked around with us. She was the dreamer.

"I'll race you!", eleven year old Katie Bell cried as she raced down the hall ahead of her friends, her muddy feet skidding and leaving a trail on the carpet. Her quidditch robes billowed behind her and the white 'A' for alternate, was clearly visible.

"No fair!", Angelina screeched as she took off behind Katie, in similar attire. "Hey!" Alicia shouted, as Katie barely missed trampling on her feet.

Stumbling around a corner, Katie stood before the Fat Lady, panting as she brushed her blonde hair off of her forehead. "Um…Flibbit…flabber…fibber…", she babbled, as she searched her mind for the password. The Fat Lady just looked at her with a pitiful expression on her face.

"Fibbetigidget!", a red haired twin from around the corner hollered. "Katie Bell, how do you manage to forget that password--"

"--So fast?", the other twin bellowed just as loudly. "We only just got it yesterday—"

"—And here you forget it already! If you're not careful--"

"—You might just get locked out one day!"

Katie crossed her eyes at the twins and a figure that was standing quite infuriated beside them. "So I've heard once before." Cocking her head to the side, she looked as if she were thinking. "Or was it twice?"

"Or a hundred!", a twin cried out grinning madly.

"It could have been a thousand.", the other said thoughtfully.

"Maybe", Katie said, looking straight at the figure. "Care to remind us Percy?"

"Enlighten us!", a twin fell to the ground on his knees, bowing toward his older brother.

"Tell us, oh, constable Percy.", cried the other as he imitated the first.

Katie followed suit, and as she watched Percy stride down the hall angrily, she burst into giggles.

We never learned. I know now, I guess. I'm just trying to follow the example that she set. I'll just have to try to be like her and hope that it works out.

Because even the best of us have to struggle for everything to turn out alright.

She did.