Big Gay Al's Big Gay Summer Camp
A/N: Hey everyone this is the revised version of my story "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Summer Camp" because the first three chapters were written in "script format" so here's the newer version. Hope you like it all the same ;-) Much love.
It's summer and Denise, Carman, and Camilla were hanging out at the school's playground. Denise was laying on her back looking at the sky. Carman was next to her looking spaced out and Camilla was sitting nearby watching them. She had a spaced out expression on her face too. Her eyes were all wide and she looked worried.
Carman peered over at Camilla and studied the dazed, worried looked on her face,
"Is something wrong with you Camilla?" She asked gently, "You've been looking like that for days."
Camilla turned to look at Carman, a little surprised she had asked her a question.
"Let me ask you something Carman, do we live in an alternate universe?" Camilla asked Carman finally.
"What?!" Carman asked, surprised.
"Well I mean...is that all made up? Do we live in a universe created by something or someone else?" Camilla went on.
"You're giving me a headache Camilla. Shut up now," Carman said. She was quickly getting uninterested in the subject. Camilla had always been known to talk about strange things.
Camilla sighed heavily and said, "I had the funniest dream a couple nights ago."
From her spot on the ground Denise smiled up at the sky, "Ah, me too," she said softly.
"Yes, interesting it was..." Camilla went on ignoring Denise's comment and going on with her story, "I was kid napped by aliens and so were a bunch of other kids and then they brought us to the queerest planet. We met two people, named Trey and Matt and the funniest thing was that all the kids seemed to come from here, from South Park."
"So?" Carman said. What is the point to all of this? Carman thought...
"So what I'm saying is these kids I met they say they're from here but we never met until we were all abducted. It was a shocker," said Camilla.
"Camilla, just shut the fuck up," Carman snapped.
Denise was ignoring them, lost in her own fantasies, she sighed dreamily, "That cloud...it's so beautiful...it reminds me of Kyle."
"It reminds me of my ass," Carman commented sarcastically.
Denise was always going on about Kyle Brofloski, one of their classmates and part time friends, Denise had a huge crush on him.
Denise ignored her, "It's so lovely...AHHHH!!"
She screamed and sat up, Fran Anderson, their psychotic classmate and neighbor was standing over Denise, laughing evilly, her bright eyes flashing red.
"Fran! You huge bitch! What's your fucking problem?!" Denise shouted at her.
Fran ran away, still laughing madly, waving a stick in the air.
"God damn it I hate her fucking guts!" Denise complained, sitting back up on the ground.
Fran always seemed to annoy her, about one thing or another.
"I'm bored...and hungry. I want food," Carman said.
"Carman, you're an anorexic bitch. Food should be the last thing on your mind," Denise grumbled, using Carman's nickname to tease her, as usual.
Carman chose not to defy her this time and said to Camilla instead, "Camilla, go get me some Cheesy Poufs."
"Get them yourself," Camilla snapped and she angrily walked away.
"What crawled up her French ass?" wondered Carman, watching Camilla stomp away.
Later that day, Mrs. Ericson-Carman's mom was having lunch with some of her new friends and neighbors-Mrs. Brofloski, Mrs. Cartman, and Mrs. Marsh.
"Thanks for inviting us over for brunch," said Mrs. B.
"Anytime I guess," replied Carman's mom, "I was just so bored outta mah mind so I figured why not invite the neighbors over?"
"Well it sure was nice of you," said Mrs. M.
"Whatever," replied Mrs. E.
"Our kids all seem to get along great since you moved here," Mrs. B said, starting a conversation.
Mrs. E laughed and said, "I think mah sweetie pudding pie has taken a likin to your boy Mrs. Cartman. She talks about him all the time."
Mrs. C laughed, "Oh? Is that so?"
"Yep, it sure the heck is so," replied Mrs. E.
"The kids all get along so nice, it's wonderful," Mrs. B went on.
Outside in the yard behind the apartment building where Denise and Carman lived they were having a snowball fight with their new friends from school-Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Stan's girl friend Wendy, and Carman's cousin Jeff.
Denise laughed and hurled a snowball at Carman, "Take this you anorexic bitch!"
Carman laughed and threw one back, "Jewish whore!" she cried.
Kyle threw one at Cartman, "Here fat ass! Eat this!" he yelled.
The snowball hit Cartman in the stomach, but it didn't effect him at all.
Cartman pointed at Kyle and laughed, "Ha ha! Everyone knows Jews aren't good at snowball fighting."
Denise put her hands on her hips, "Shut up fat ass!" She snapped at him.
"You shut up you stupid Jew!!" Cartman shouted back.
Wendy snuck up behind Cartman and threw a snow ball right at his butt.
"Ay! Who did that?" Cartman shouted.
Wendy laughed, "I just got Cartman in the ass!"
"Whoa Wendy that sounded wrong," commented Carman, a sly grin on her face.
"Shut the fuck up," replied Wendy.
Back inside, the mothers were still talking, about what we don't know...
"I think that's a great idea Mrs. Ericson, we'll tell the kids right away," Mrs. Marsh was saying.
That night at Cartman's house, he was sitting on the couch, as usual eating Cheesy Poufs and watching TV. Suddenly, the door bell rang.
"MOM GET THE DAMN DOOR!!" Cartman screamed.
Mrs. Cartman was upstairs so she yelled back down, "Mommy's busy now poopy kins. Why don't you answer it."
"God damn bitch, never lets me do anything..." mumbled Cartman as he went to answer the door. To his surprise Carman came running inside.
"Hi Carman."
"Hey, Eric did your mom tell you yet?" Carman asked quickly.
"Tell me what? Did I win something?" Cartman asked with a grin on his face.
"No silly, but...she didn't tell you?" Carman asked again
"No..." answered Cartman just as his mother came down the stairs. She saw Carman and said, "Oh, Carman you're here. Did your mommy tell you the good news?"
"Yeah..." Carman answered slowly.
"Right, Eric I forgot to tell you, you and all your little friends are going to summer camp while all us adults are spending the two weeks in Asspen in the time share cottage," Mrs. Cartman told her son.
"What?! Did you say summer camp?" Cartman cried.
"Yes sweetums. You and all your little friends get to go together! Isn't that exciting?"
"I don't wanna go to camp!!" Cartman whined.
Carman rushed over to Cartman and clutched onto to him whining too, "Me neither!!"
"Oh but it'll be fun," Mrs. Cartman tried to reassure the kids. It seemed her mind was made up with the camp thing.
"NOOOOOO!!!" Cartman screamed.
The next day Cartman, Carman, Denise, Kyle, Camilla, Jeff, Stan, Lenny, Wendy, and Kimmy were all at the playground standing around.
"Can you believe this? Summer camp? God damn it. I hate my parents," said Denise.
"Me too. This is all your fault Jeff," Carman said to her cousin and she smacked him in the face.
"Fuck off bitch!" Jeff yelled at her.
"Ay! Don't call my bitch a bitch!" Cartman yelled at Jeff.
"Bite me fat ass!" Jeff replied.
"Hey I'll kick your ass kid!" shouted Cartman.
"Will you all just SHUT UP?!! We're all supposed to spending two weeks together and all you ever do is argue!" screamed Wendy, Stan's girl friend.
"Wendy's right. We should all try to get along," agreed Stan.
"Shut up you God damn hippies. I hate hippies," grumbled Cartman.
Suddenly Kimmy, the Siamese twins, spoke up, looking wildly around, "What are we doing again? Who are all you guys?" she wondered.
Denise sighed heavily, she hated Kimmy and thought she was wicked annoying.
"Where the hell is Fran when you need her? Fran! Come kick Kimmy's ass for us!!" Denise called.
"I personally think this is super! It's going to be so, so fun camping out in the woods together!!" Lenny announced happily.
"God damn it, why do you have to go to?" Kyle asked him. He didn't really like Lenny, since...(well you gotta read it to believe it ;-)
"Because camping is super!" Lenny replied.
"Lenny, shut up. It is not. Bugs, nasty lake water-"complained Denise.
"Animals, the woods-"added Wendy.
"My mom and your mom-"said Kimmy, still looking around.
"Swimming and hiking-"said Stan.
"Sports and water skiing-"added Kyle.
"Bitches and ass holes-"said Jeff.
"Oh I just love it!! This is gonna be super!!" cried Lenny happily.