Leaving Home

A huge bus is parked at the school parking lot. No one has gotten on yet though. Craig, Token, Stan, Wendy, Cartman, Kyle, Jeff, Camilla, Pip, Timmy, Kimmy, Lenny, Carman, Denise, and Timmy are all waiting to get on the bus. Their parents are all fussing over them, making sure they've packed everything.

Mrs. Cartman gave her son a kiss on the cheek and asked, "Do you have everything honey poo?"

Cartman irritated, pulled quickly away from his mom, "Yes mom!"

"Do you have all those special snacks I packed for you?" Mrs. Cartman asked.

Cartman burped and then answered, "Yeah, I think so..."

Over with Stan's family...

"Have a great time at camp with all your friends," said Mrs. Marsh to her son.

"Yeah Stan have a great time and...uh...don't forget to write," said Mr. Marsh.

"Why can't I go to Asspen with you?" Stan asked his parents. He thought that this whole

camp idea was pretty stupid, plus Asspen was pretty cool the last time he went.

"I hope a moose shits on you while you're at camp you little turd," Stan's older sister, Shelly spat at him.

"Shelly, don't you want to give your brother a hug before he leaves?" Mrs. Marsh asked.

"Sure mom, I'll give him this," said Shelly and she punched Stan's face, making him fall to the ground.

Over to Wendy, Token, and Craig who are talking...

"Token! I had no idea you were coming to camp too!" cried Wendy, grinning.

"Yes well my parents thought it was a good idea," Token explained.

"Cool. I can't wait to get there," said Wendy, who loved camping.

Over with Kyle's family. Denise was standing around with them, looking at Ike.

"Who's this little trash can?" Denise asked Kyle.

"Oh, this is just Ike. My dumb baby brother. He's Canadian," replied Kyle.

"Oh well, that explains it," commented Denise.

Suddenly, the bus door opened and everyone looked over as Big Gay Al stepped out.

"Hey everybody! Are you ready for summer camp?" asked Big Gay Al, smiling excitedly.

"Yeah!" shouted Lenny, the only one answering Big Gay Al's question.

"All right! First, I'm going to see who's on my special list..." Big Gay Al read all the campers names off the list, "Okay all you silly gooses onto the bus!!"

"Wait a second-the camp director is that guy?" Mr. Marsh said.

"Oh Randy, he's great with children," said Mrs. Marsh.

"Oh boy," sighed Mr. Marsh.

The kids said their last good byes to their parents and family members and got onto the bus. They were all looking bored and sad. The bus started and they were off. Big Gay Al stood up at the front of the bus and smiled at all the bored looking campers.

"Yay! We're on our way!" cried Big Gay Al happily.

"Excuse me?! But how long is this gonna take?" whined Cartman.

"Four and a half hours you silly goose," Big Gay Al answered.

Cartman groaned.

These are the seating arrangements: Carman and Cartman, across the aisle are Craig and Token, behind Carman and Cartman are Stan and Wendy, across the aisle from them are Kyle and Jeff, Camilla and Denise are in front of Carman and Cartman, and Lenny and Pip are across from Camilla and Denise. Timmy and Kimmy are way in back.

"God damn, I am so fucking hungry," mumbled Cartman, turning to look out the window.

"I miss home already...I don't want to be here," Carman said sadly.

"Me either. This sucks," Cartman said.

"Hey Eric?"

"Yeah?"

Carman blushed, "Oh...never mind...."

"What? What were you going to say?"

"Nothing..."

"Hey fat boy, your girl friend is cute!" called Craig from across the aisle.

"Craig, I hate you with all my heart!" Cartman shouted back, just as Craig flipped him off.

"So Stan, we're going to be alone at summer camp for two weeks," Wendy was saying to Stan.

"What are you talking about Wendy? We're not alone, everyone else is coming too," Stan pointed out.

"You know what I mean Stan," said Wendy.

Suddenly the bus went over a large bump.

"I think I'm gonna be sick..." moaned Stan and he threw up on the bus floor.

"Ew! That's gross Stan!!" shreiked Wendy.

"Is somebody sick?" asked Big Gay Al from up front.

"I think I'm going to be!" cried Denise, hating the awful smell of Stan's vomit.

"Uh oh. Whichever wanna of you silly gooses just threw up better come up front, you'll feel a lot better," said Big Gay Al.

Stan followed Big Gay Al's advice and sat up front. Meanwhile, Wendy was sulking alone in her seat.

"Screw this, I'm sitting with Wendy," said Denise and she got up and sat down with Wendy.

"Hi Denise," Wendy greeted her, still sulky from Stan having to move and him barfing once again.

"Hey, sorry your boyfriend just threw up...AGAIN!" laughed Denise.

"I wish Stan didn't do that..." Wendy said softly.

Denise patted her on the shoulder, "We all wish that Wendy, then we wouldn't have to smell it."

In the seat nearby them, Kyle and Jeff were sitting together.

"Dude this bus ride is so boring. I hate this already," Kyle told Jeff.

"Ya talk about fags. We're staying for two weeks at a camp run by a homo," said Jeff unhappily.

Lenny turned around in his seat and glared at Jeff.

"Excuse me?"

"What do you want fagot?" Jeff snapped at him.

"You just said a very mean thing," Lenny told him.

"Big fucking deal."

"I'd watch your mouth if I was you," then Lenny turned to Kyle, "Kyle, you should watch out for him. He's a big meanie."

"Whatever dude. Just turn around and don't look at me," Kyle said to Lenny. He was pretty scared of Lenny since the time he said Kyle was hot.

In the seat in front of them was Pip and Lenny.

"Hello there, I don't we've properly met," Pip said to Lenny.

"I guess not. I'm Lenny," introduced Lenny.

"My name is Pip. At least that's what everybody calls me," Pip introduced himself.

"Is that a French accent? I hear the shopping's great in France. In fact the moose I'm using right now is from France."

"Oh God no. I'm not from France. I'm not even French. I'm British," said Pip.

"Oh sorry."

"No problem."

Some time later...Cartman and Carman were both asleep together in their seat. Cartman was leaning against the window and Carman was asleep in Cartman's lap. Craig was glaring at them evily from across the aisle and Token, sitting next to him was writing something in a notebook. Stan was still up front. Denise was looking in a mirror, putting on mascara and Wendy was watching her with interest. Jeff was flipping a lighter on and off and Kyle was watching him. Camilla was reading a huge black bound book. Lenny was looking in a mirror fixing his hair and Pip was watching him.

"What is that stuff you are putting in your hair?" Pip asked him.

"Gel. I have to look nice," said Lenny, smiling at himself in the mirror.

"Oh...are you by any chance...gay?" wondered Pip.

"Yes I'm gay."

"Oh..." Pip felt embarrassed, like he should have known better. He settled back down in his seat and peered across the aisle at Camilla, who was dressed in her usual uniform (black robes) and was reading a huge black book.

"What is that you're reading?" Pip wanted to know.

Camilla looked up and answered, "A book of spells." She turned back to her book and Pip just spaced out, from boredom on the long bus ride to camp.

Craig flung a rubber band at Cartman, but missed and hit Denise.

"Hey you bastard! What's your fucking problem?" Denise yelled at him.

"Nothing...I was aiming for the fat kid," Craig told her.

Denise smiled at Craig, "Oh right...hey do I know you?"

"Maybe."

"Weren't you in Mr. Garrison's class too?" Denise asked him.

"Maybe," Craig said again.

Denise smiled at him again and turned back to her mirror.

"Denise, what's that stuff you're putting on?" Wendy asked.

Denise giggled, "You don't know?" she asked.

Wendy shook her head, "No. I don't wear make up."

"No wonder Stan pukes whenever he looks at you," said Denise.

"Fuck you," said Wendy.

In front of them Carman rolled over in her sleep.

Across the aisle from Carman, Token whispered to Craig, holding out a folded up note, "Can you pass that to Wendy?"

"Whatever," Craig replied. He tried to pass the note over but from the seat behind him, Jeff grabbed it. (Craig hadn't noticed!)

"Hey what's that?" Kyle asked Jeff.

Jeff shrugged, "It's that kid in the blue hat's. It looks like a note."

"Oh! Read it!" cried Kyle, desperate for something fun to do on the bus ride.

Jeff grinned, "Okay. 'Wendy-Hi. How are you? I'm fine. I can't wait to get to camp. What about you? We are going to have so much fun. I can't wait to go horse back riding. Maybe you will join me. We should hang out some time. Love, Token', "Jeff laughed, "This is some funny shit man!"

Suddenly Token cried, "Hey wait a minute! Did you give her that note Craig?"

"Php no," Craig replied, not caring at all.

"What?!" cried Token.

All of a sudden the bus stopped and jerked to a stop, waking both Cartman and Carman up.

"Damn it! I was in the middle of a good nap!" complained Cartman.

Carman smiled at Cartman, "Me too..." she mumbled.

Big Gay Al stood up, "Come on kids, time to get off the bus!" He announced.

Everyone was relieved to be getting off the bus, finally, Big Gay Al led them all over to a flag pole. They sat down on some wooden benches around it. A bunch of other kids were already there. Big Gay stood in the middle, near a fire pit. He smiled at them all. He looked very happy.

"Welcome to camp everyone! I hope you all have a super time and make some new friends! Now listen up for the cabin assignments. Girl's cabins are first. Cabin 1 is Anistelle, Carman, Denise, Camilla, and Wendy. And Cabin 2 is Kimmy, Lolita, Tilly, Joanna, and Caitlin. Now for the boy's cabins. Listen up everybody! Cabin 1 is Eric, Pip, Craig, Timmy, and Jeff. Cabin 2 is Token, Lenny, Kyle, Stan, and George. Now everybody, go find your cabins and meet your counselers. I'm going to read off the other cabins."

All the cabins that were announced got up to leave, some other counselers led them over to the cabins. Carman, Denise, Camilla, and Wendy found their way over to Girl's Cabin 1 and went on inside.

"I get a top bunk!" Wendy shouted.

"Me too!" added Denise.

The cabin was pretty small. There were two bunk beds and one single bed. There was also a room in the back for the counseler. Denise and Camilla shared a bunk and Carman took the bottom of Wendy's bed. While they were unpacking, a girl with curly blonde hair wearing baggy jeans, light blue flip flops, and a light blue halter top came in.

"You must be Anistelle," Wendy said.

"Yes...this is my first time at this camp...and all my friends got put in the other cabin," Anistelle said.

"Oh boo hoo. Cry me a river," said Denise.

"Denise!! Leave her alone," said Wendy then she turned to Anistelle, "Your bed is over there. My name is Wendy Testaburger, and this is Carman, Denise, and Camilla. We live in South Park."

"Oh...I've never been there. I'm from Denver..." Anistelle told her.

"Okay girl, here are the rules. Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, oh and don't talk to me," Denise snapped at her.

"Here are my rules. I only have one and it's DON'T FUCK WITH ME," said Wendy, then she smiled at Anistelle.

"I've got that..." replied Anistelle, looking kinda scared.

"So...Anistelle do you have a boyfriend?" Carman asked.

"No..."

"I do! His name is Stan Marsh and he's the hottest boy in South Park," bragged Wendy.

"What the hell are you talking about? Kyle is the hottest guy in South Park," said Denise.

"Ew! Hell no!" Wendy objected.

"You're both wrong...Eric is the best looking," Carman said.

"NO WAY!!!" screamed Denise and Wendy at the same time.

"Yes he is," said Carman.

"No he ain't," said Denise, "And anyway, why don't you just ask him out already?"

Carman blushed, that was a good question..."I don't think he'd go out with me..." Carman admitted, sitting back down at the end of her bottom bunk.

"Wait-hold on are you talking about the big fat kid?" Anistelle asked, realizing something...

"Yeah," Denise answered.

"Digusting! You like him?!" cried Anistelle.

"Yes," Carman answered her.

"NASTY!" screamed Anistelle, starting to laugh.

Already, none of the other girls liked her too much.

Carman blushed even more and turned to Wendy, "Wendy, in your personal opinion do you think Eric would go out with me?"

"I think that Cartman will take anything he can get," said Wendy.

"Thanks. What do you think Denise? Your advice?"

"Go for it. I've already decided I'm asking Kyle out very, very soon," bragged Denise, smiling at the very thought of anything having to do with Kyle.

"What do you think Camilla?" Carman asked Camilla, who had been sitting silently on her bottom bunk, which was now surrounded by a thick black curtain. She had been sitting, listening to the conversation intently.

"I think you're all bonkers!" Camilla answered.

Over in Boy's Cabin 1, Dave, the counseler introduced himself.

"Hi there. I'm Dave. I'm going to be your counseler," he said.

"Hey Dave, is the food good here? I'm fucking hungry!" (Guess who that was.)

"Timmy!" cried Timmy excitedly.

Craig flipped him off. He was not exactly enjoying who he was bunking with.

"Yes Dave is the food good?" Pip asked too.

"It's all right. It's safe to eat," Dave told them.

"Good. I am SO hungry," said Cartman. Then he threw himself onto the single bed in the cabin, and it broke with a loud snap.

"God damn it! Fucking bed!" shouted Cartman angryily.

"Oh dear. Let me help you there chap," Pip bent down to help Cartman up, but he screamed at Pip, "I don't need any help from a fucking Frenchie!"

"I'm not French!" argued Pip.

"Shut up Frenchie," added Jeff.

"Yes boys please calm down," said Dave, "Eric, you're going to have to just sleep on the floor."

"No! Timmy, you can sleep on the floor. Is that cool?" Cartman stood up and asked Timmy.

"Timmy!" replied Timmy.

"See? Timmy says it's okay."

Over in Boy's Cabin 2, Token approached Kyle.

"Kyle, what did you do with that note Jeff had?" Token asked.

"What note?" asked Kyle inncocently.

"The note for Wendy," Token whispered. He didn't want Stan to hear him.

"Oh! The note for Wendy!" cried Kyle loudly.

"What?! You gave a note to Wendy?!" cried Stan, he glared at Token.

"How sweet," commented Lenny.

"You stay out of this gay boy," Stan snapped at Lenny, then he looked angryily back at Token, "What did the note say?"

"Nothing...I was just making friendly conversation," answered Token, looking slightly embarrassed.

"No you weren't! You were practically asking her out!" shouted Kyle.

"No I wasn't!!" protested Token.

The arguement was interrupted when the door opened and a short kid with brown hair and glasses walked in followed by a counseler.

The counseler handed the kid a bottle of pills, "Here kid make sure to take your riddlin tonight."

"I will sir," the other boy replied.

"You don't have to call me sir, call me Max," said the counseler, he looked over at the other boys, "Hey, you must be Stan, Kyle, Token, and Lenny."

"Yeah that's us," sighed Stan, he was still wicked mad.

"Great. Are you excited for camp?" Max asked them, a wide grin on his face.

"Not really," said Stan.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah dude, we're serious," said Kyle.

"Serious seriously?"

"Yes God damn it."

"Jesus, is everybody here gay?" wondered Stan.

Lenny looked over and smiled at Stan and Kyle.

"Holy shit dude!" cried Kyle.