I hate him for falling in love with me.
It's…it's not as though I love him back. He knows it, and I know it, but to him it doesn't seem to matter. When I've used him, treated him to the point where even I am ashamed of myself, I rage at his quiescence. He won't say a word of anger or complaint, he's just…silent.
He's weak. Strong. Neither. Both.
I don't want to think of him the ways I do, and yet I can't stop myself.
He frightens me. He confuses me.
I…
I don't know what to do.
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Twin points of light gleamed in the darkness, dull blue and exhausted. The owner of said eyes moved sluggishly, untangling himself from the sex-stained bedsheets, unclasping the loose grip of his bedmate from around his waist. Wincing slightly at the protests from his abused body, Horohoro moved towards the bathroom.
He stared at himself in the mirror, at the wide, blank eyes in his own thin visage, at the dark ugly-looking marks just hidden by his fall of bangs.
The young man sighed. Yoh had asked him this afternoon if everything was alright. Even Anna had thrown him a quizzical look when he had picked at his food for the third day in a row. They had noticed the differences, but they still didn't know what was causing it…
When Horo hid things, he hid them just a little too well. But in the midst of the agony…
when Ren was taking him, using him for his need, disregarding his muffled screams of pain as his flesh tore in the violence of their union
…a small voice screamed in the back of his mind, lost in the haze of sensation and the taste of blood in his mouth. Why? Why?
He grabbed a towel, dampened it, and scrubbed away at himself, erasing the stickiness of dried sweat and Ren. He wasn't a masochist, so why did he suffer himself to be tortured in this way? Always, that inevitable question. Why?
Walking back into the room, he felt a faint twinge of surprise to see Ren twisting and turning in the bed. Moving closer, he watched in fascination as golden eyes suddenly shot open, glazed and unseeing, and the Chinese man's arms spread wide in a silent plea. Asleep, yet caught in the throes of violent waking dreams. Ren's face twisted with something nameless, and Horo recognized his name, just a nearly incomprehensible breath cradled between Ren's lips.
He moved back into the bed, Ren immediately quieting as Horo held him uncertainly. Horo heaved a deep breath as the other youth's powerful arms unconsciously wound themselves around him, holding him tight, needful, Ren's head burying itself in his chest. He heard his name a final time, and then a string of unfamiliar syllables before Ren's breathing deepened back into the realm of one truly, blissfully asleep.
He closed his eyes and smiled slightly, holding the other's warm body against his.
This is why.
~-~-~-~-~-
Maroku: Whoa.
Ehe. Abusive/Angsty!Ren and Uke/Ansgty!Horo…what was I thinking?
Jorntil: Lemme guess…you weren't.
Duh. *looks at readers* You like? Review. You hate/got confused? Excuse me for having strange ideas at two in the morning on an empty stomach with a pile of homework, buckoes ^^; Ren and Horohoro wouldn't cooperate either, so this thing went through two or three rewrites before I was even slightly satisfied. This is probably the darkest and most explicit story out of anything I've written/will write for the SK fandom…unless that HaoYoh comes out the way I want it. Which is something between PG-15 and R.
Shanna…bwehehehehe….you obsessed me with SK, SANYUU BERY MUCHNESS! ^__^ I'm not complaining, I love this anime! (even if it is so hard to obtain episodes…don't worry I haven't watched 24 yet…) Mahojin and liquefied*metal I'm so glad you like my writing! (And I have only seen ONE YohHao in existence, but HaoYoh works too…my writing tends to be short because if I make them long, they drag out and get boring. Trust me. And…POMEGRANATE BOMBS!)
Oh, and I have too more to add to the 'Future Works' list of a few stories ago.
- A HaoLyserg (who here can't imagine this pairing?) from Morphin's p.o.v, 'Simple'
- Pailong/Jun, 'Watchful,' – zombies don't need sleep, right?
Do you guys think the titles I use are good? Because my sister told me that they didn't relate to the stories…tell me okay?
See you in the next chapter!
Jiaan: And yet again, the author's note becomes longer than the story.
Rukkhn: …