More About Camp

(chapter 3)

It's morning and everybody is at breakfast. Cartman, Carman, Kyle, Denise, Stan, and Wendy are sitting at a table together.

"God damn it! This food SUCKS!!!" screamed Cartman. He placidly picked at the nasty looking scrambled eggs on his plate. A look of anger was on his face. Carman looked over at him, a little worried.

"Yo fat ass, maybe you just stop eating and then you could match your anorexic bitch girl friend!" Denise called across the table.

"AY!" Cartman yelled back at her. Everyone laughed except Cartman and Carman. Craig and Token walked up to the table.

"Hey guys, can we sit here?" asked Token.

"No," Stan replied sharply.

"Stan! Stop being so mean!" cried Wendy.

"Fine," Stan said darkly. He frowned at Token as he and Craig squeezed onto the benches with everyone else.

"Stan you need to stop listening to Wendy. You need to say "Hey bitch I do what I want!" said Cartman.

"No fat ass," Stan told him.

"So...Craig, how are you?" asked Denise.

"Shut up," answered Craig, giving her the flip of his finger. Denise just smiled. The boy's counselor, Max walked by the table and Wendy looked up, not taking her eyes off of him, unnoticed by Stan or Token.

"Wendy, do you want to go swimming today?" Stan asked his girl friend.

"Or horseback riding?" asked Token hopefully.

Stan turned to Token and said, "No dude, horseback riding is for pussys, besides Wendy is going swimming with me. Right Wendy? Wendy?"

Wendy turned back to Stan, a kinda confused, dazed look about her, "What?"

"Are you going swimming with me today?" Stan asked again.

"No...I think I'll just...hang around today," Wendy replied slowly.

"Okay...well I'll see you later then," Stan said. Reluctantly, he got up from the table and Craig, Kyle, and Token soon followed.

"Bye Craig!" Denise shouted, standing up and frantically waving at him. Craig turned around, flipped her off, and walked away.

Denise sat back down and turned excitedly to Wendy, "Did you see that? I think he likes me!"

Carman rolled her eyes, "You are such a dumb ass Denise. Are all jews like that or just you?"

"Shut up bitch, at least somebody likes me," scoffed Denise.

Carman didn't know how to respond, so she just looked down in her lap. Cartman was still at the table, picking at his food.

"Oh my God, you like Craig? What a doosh bag!" shouted Cartman, putting in his opinion.

"No one was asking you pudgy," said Denise, getting up from the table, "Come on Wendy, let's leave the couple alone."

Denise and Wendy left, leaving Carman and Cartman alone.

"God I hate them! I hate Craig! And I hate camp, and I HATE this God damn food!" screamed Cartman. He got so mad that he hit his bowl of apple sauce and it went flying through the air, landing on Lolita's head, she turned around and she was looking very angry.

"Whoa Eric! That was a good one," exclaimed Carman. She and Cartman stood up to leave and Cartman turned around and screamed to Lolita, "Yeah bitch take some of that! Whoooooo!"

Cartman got up on the table, pulled down his pants and mooned her.

"Kiss my ass bitch!!" Cartman called over to her.

Max walked over, he was looking mad too.

"Eric?" Max began.

"Hold on I'm not done!" Cartman cried.

"Eric!!" Max screamed at him.

"What the hell do you want?!" Cartman responded, turning around to face his counselor.

"Get down from there, now! We have some things to discuss. Such as rules."

"I hate you!" Cartman yelled at Max.

That afternoon, in Girl's Cabin 1, Wendy was on her bunk, Denise was pacing back and forth, and Camilla was on her bed watching them curiously.

"How to get Craig to notice me?" Denise said aloud.

"How to get Max to notice ME?" added Wendy.

"Wendy your completely mad, you like the boys counselor?" said Camilla.

"Camilla, must you ruin everything?" Denise snapped at her.

"I have not ruined anything! Besides Wendy is going out with Stan!" Camilla pointed out.

"What?!" cried Wendy, looking up absentmindedly.

Just then, Anistelle came into the cabin with Tilly and Lolita.

"Oh...you guys are in here," Lolita said darkly

"Shut up crack whore this is our cabin!" Denise shouted at her.

"Don't mind them, you can still come in here," Anistelle said to her friends.

Anistelle, Tilly, and Lolita sat down on Anistelle's bed.

Denise rolled her eyes, "Whatever. I'm gonna see if I can find Craig," she said. She headed over to the door but Carman came in, looking kinda sad.

"What's your problem? Did you...find out you're...anorexic?" Denise laughed.

"Come on Denise, lay off. She looks sad. What's wrong Carman?" asked Wendy.

Carman sat down on her bed and replied, "It's Eric...I want to tell him I like him."

"So? Do it already!" urged Denise.

"He probably doesn't like me..."

"How can anyone like you?"

"Shut the fuck up you stupid jew!"

"Guys! Stop it!" cried Wendy, hoping to put an end to the argument.

"Cut the crap Wendy!" snapped Denise, "Ugly hippie skank..." she mumbled to herself.

"Just shut the fuck up," Wendy said to Denise.

"No. Go fuck yourself."

"No...you go fuck YOURSELF!"

"Um...can you girls maybe take this outside?" spoke up Tilly.

Denise folded her arms, "No need. I'm outta here!"

She ran outside.

"Well...me too!" Wendy called after her, running outside and slamming the door.

Anistelle and her friends all looked over at Carman.

Anistelle smiled, "Boy trouble?"

Carman layed back on her bunk and mumbled to Anistelle, "Go to hell."

Later on that day, everyone was gathered at the lake. Big Gay Al was wearing a Speedo swim suit. Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Lenny, Craig, Token, Pip, Jeff, Denise, Wendy, Carman, Camilla, Anistelle, Lolita and Kimmy were all sitting on benches in front of him and were wearing swim gear and holding towels and beach bags and such.

"Okay everybody! Today we are going to have a super time at the lake!" announced Big Gay Al happily.

Lenny smiled and clapped his hands.

"Okay then, first we're going to take a swimming test! First, are there any questions?" asked Big Gay Al.

Denise raised her hand.

"Yes Denise?"

"Is the swim test optional?" Denise asked.

"Not if you want to swim in the lake silly goose!" answered Big Gay Al.

Denise looked at the lake and made a face.

"Um...I think I'll pass," said Denise.

All the other girls, except Kimmy agreed with her. The lake did look pretty bad.

"Okay well you silly gooses can go."

The girls all got up and decided to just walk around the camp, since they didn't feel like doing anything else. No one really liked camp at all.

Carman sighed, "I just have to tell Eric how I feel...but he probably doesn't even like me."

From beside her, Denise groaned loudly, "Will you shut up already?! How about this? I just ask him if he likes you!

"No! Please don't!" pleaded Carman.

"Okay then shut up about it."

"Oh my God there's Max!!" screamed Wendy all of a sudden.

Denise smiled, "Go talk to him Wendy!" she said.

Wendy stopped walking and Carman and Denise stopped with her.

"I don't think I can...I mean what do I say?" wondered Wendy.

"To be perfectly honest...I have no idea what you should say," admitted Denise.

Wendy looked at Carman expectantly, she just shrugged and shook her head.

"No idea Wendy," said Carman.

"Oh, I'll never have the chance to talk to him!" cried Wendy.