Unlike many of the other spirits that roam this world in the company of shamans, I am inhuman. 'Fairy' is the name I have grown used to, despite my indignation at being compared to what was, in truth, the larger, somewhat brighter ancestor of a firefly.
Beings such as I, we do not feel as humans like Master feel. It could be interpreted as our 'colder' view of the world, but perhaps it would be the wiser. For us hate, sorrow, and yes, even love, are unimportant things in the face of what it is we are.
Oh…it is so hard to explain in terms that can be understood by a race that thinks, metaphorically, more from the heart than from the head!
We…my race prefers the simplicity of the play of light within the rain to the maelstrom of confusion that is fear, for example.
Do you understand now?
…Never mind.
The important thing is that, being bonded to a human mind and soul for so many years (though time is not noted as much as the passing from master to mistress to master,) any sentient creature will have found out, as I have, that it is best to adapt.
For example, I have long since been used to Diethyl confusion.
Master Lyserg…he hates to the point where it is no longer even that emotion anymore. There is a very human saying about the line between 'love' and 'hate.' Master does not walk that line so much as he weaves, like a wildflower caught in a breeze. Sometimes he leans one way. Sometimes the other.
The line, I think, is his security. I believe that at the same time, he is losing control of it.
Why else would he try to kill the master of Fire? (Were it not my loyalty – ah, another human trait I have garnered through the decades – to do so, I would not help him here, for Fire is the worst thing that can happen to one of Nature.)
And why else would he, against all that makes sense in this world, meet him willingly in the night?
I never sleep, after all. I see Fire's embodiment come in the darkness. I watch my master's reaction, the crystal of his mind and emotions tumbling, dead leaves in a winter wind.
Then Fire takes him away until the dawning. I follow, but never close enough to know what happens between them. For there is nothing worse for me, I have found, than to be disconnected from the Diethyl personality, without purpose. Alone. (Another concept that, for all my experience with it, I can never fully understand.)
It is not as though I can return to my history, can I? The field of mountain flowers lies lifetimes away.
It is also for Master Lyserg that I no longer come near. He is so unsure already, he does not need to know that were Fire at all displeased, he would be lost in the most absolute way…everything that made him…anything…gone. Burned beyond ashes. And I would be lost with him as well. (Selfishness, self-preservation. More of these vexing thoughts! And vexation has infringed as well?!)
This is why I never stop him.
It is the best way to solve this.
(…Ah, how human I have become.)
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A/N: Haha! Unbalanced Morphin! XDXDXD
That last story just about carried it's own bad karma, I swear. Since I got twice-banned from the home computer (don't ask), I wrote this fic after school. Hooray for considerate teachers!
Maroku: I told you, you shouldn't have tortured Horohoro on his birthday.
Mmm, I didn't even know. *sees Horo glaring* I SWEAR I DIDN'T!
EneriRenie…I addicted you to Ren/Horo? O.o I've never addicted anyone before…thanks! And I've tagged the Hao x Jeanne to the list of stories to do, although I need to brainstorm ideas for that one first. CheinEin - =D I'm glad you liked it! (And I wubble your devarts!)
See you guys next chapter!