A/N: Forgive me, things get in the way, but here I am now. Anyway, in this chapter, we further explore the memories of the four stars in our little story. Of course, due to Spike's current 'funk' and the fact that their pasts are completely unconnected, this chapter focuses a bit more on Faye's side of their story, for a little more in-depth analysis of her character. Spike's more personal journey down memory lane will probably take place next chapter, as I believe this session will be a two-part.

Disclaimer: I do not own the character Ein. This character belongs to the respective owners of Cowboy Bebop. The character Zone belongs to Square Enix.

Session 9: Ballad of Lost Memories

The hall seemed to stretch on forever, no matter how fast he ran, he couldn't seem to reach the end. A pair of footsteps sounded behind him, and he could hear someone call his name, asking him to wait, but he couldn't stop, not until he reached the thick, elaborately carved wooden doors that had appeared ahead of him.

The three of them had just stepped into the building having come back from a successful mission, when they saw Raijin awaiting their arrival in the lobby.

"Ellone is in trouble," he'd told them. "I don't know what she did, but Edea's got her up in the master's chambers, you know?"

He hadn't waited to hear anything more. He started for the elevator, Seifer and Fujin not far behind him. They were worried about her, too, afraid of what would happen. They were all close, after all, even if they weren't always like the best of friends.

They were family...

The double doors swung open with enough force that they bounced against the wall and shook. It was even worse than he had thought. The room was circular, and opposite the door, up a set of stairs, was Edea's throne. Since she had come into power, she had treated herself like a queen. Long scrolls with Asian lettering hung down the walls, and in the middle of the room was a circular area of the floor that was sunken in. Around the edge of this area, on either side of the throne, were two long, curved tables where the members of the inner circle sat, most of them with looks of confusion or disgust. In the gap between the tables, at the foot of Edea's stairway, his sister was on her knees, hands bound behind her back. At her sides stood two men, one with longish white hair, and the other with slightly shorter black hair. He'd seen this situation too many times before... it would be another case of trial and execution.

He squinted through the dim bluish light, seeking out the strange, cat-like eyes of the woman he served beneath. The sheer blue curtains surrounding her throne were pulled back, and he could see her cruel smile as she looked down upon him.

"Just in time," she said. "Your sister has done something unforgivable. You know what we must do."

He shook his head. "What exactly has she done? Whatever it is it isn't worth her death. She's under family protection, you know that."

"I cannot consider her family. Not after this."

"After what?!"

"Becoming impatient I see," she spoke with a tone of humor, yet he didn't find himself in the least bit amused. "I fear I can no longer trust her. I'm afraid she'll betray me. If she betrays me, she betrays the entire family, and everyone who depends on us. Will you allow that to happen?"

"I'll... I'll keep an eye on her," he offered. "You can't do this without valid reason, anyway! The council will never approve."

His eyes fell to the tables, where the people seated there had begun to murmur and whisper amongst themselves. He could only pick out a few words here and there, but it seemed that they were all in his favor. "So it's settled then?" he asked.

Edea closed her eyes and nodded her head once, as if in agreement. Vicious and Vincent, who had been looking toward their leader for her final decision turned back to face him. Vicious smiled, never taking his eyes off of the ocean-colored orbs that stared back at him... not even while he unsheathed his beloved katana, and in one smooth motion, slid it across Ellone's exposed throat.

"No!"

His eyes snapped open, staring up into the unfamiliar darkness. Shadows danced in the scarce light, and somewhere in the distance he heard the feverish clicking of fingers against a keyboard. Just a dream... He allowed his eyes to flutter shut once more when he realized that he was no longer there, watching his sister collapse on the floor.

Still, he couldn't stop the memory as it drifted through his mind. Everything that followed afterward, the pain, the betrayal... he shut his eyes tightly and allowed his rough fingers to trace the scar on his bicep. It was the only one Rinoa hadn't noticed, yet it was the one that hurt the most... the first one always hurts like hell...

The past two nights, the dream had been the same. After all, if there were any one particular moment in his life that he hated the most, that would be it. And of course, seeing Vincent again had triggered all the memories he had fought to suppress. Still, he had always managed to wake up before that terrible moment... up until tonight, he hadn't had to relive that nightmare again. Is this the way it would be? Would he keep having that dream until it reached further, until he felt once more the bullets tearing through his skin, or heard the screams of the others who were betrayed on that same night? He couldn't handle that... couldn't even handle this. He stood from the sofa and stumbled through the room as quietly as possible, knowing that Zell was upstairs in the cockpit taking part in his almost ritualistic midnight net diving.

At the doorway he paused, uncertain of where he was going. To the kitchen, for a drink of water? No, that wasn't what he wanted. His feet moved without his mind's consent, which was just as well because it had fallen back into near unconsciousness.

The door slid open, his hazy vision studying first the rectangle of light on the floor, distorted by his own silhouette, before moving to the faint outline of the bed against the wall. Part of him knew it was occupied, and wanted to be there for that very reason. The other part of his brain had forgotten all about the injured girl he'd given up his room for, and wanted only the comfort of his bed again. Either way, he moved forward and collapsed on the soft mattress.

His mind wasn't working well, but his heart was still crying out, still burning with pain from the memories that tormented him, that made him wish he never had a past. He wanted someone to hold onto, even if it was only for the night. He wanted comfort, and had unknowingly sought out the only person he knew could give him that. His arm snaked around her body, which was turned on its side with its back facing toward him, and buried his face in her hair, body trembling with an onslaught of emotions that he could no longer hide nor control. He hadn't felt this weak, this helpless since that moment...

Her eyes snapped open, suddenly being very aware of another presence beside her. She blinked against the darkness and turned her head just slightly, until she could just barely make out strands of brunette hair against her shoulder.

"Squall," she whispered, almost afraid to breath, but desperately needing to know if this was just a dream, or a very strange reality, "what are you doing?"

"I don't know," he replied softly, still lingering between the worlds of the waking and that of the dreaming.

"But... why are you here?"

"I can't stop seeing it..."

"Seeing what?"

"I always know how the dream will end, but I can never stop it, never make it change."

"You aren't making sense."

He tightened his hold on her, and she winced slightly at the dull pain in her side. She said nothing about it, and instead stroked his arm with a gentle brush of her fingertips. She felt the tension slip out of his body, and he said, "I couldn't save her. She's gone."

Rinoa felt a pang of jealously and anger, and had it not been for her soft spot for this man, she would've kicked him out then and there. Her own eyes filled with tears, even as he drifted off into a peaceful slumber. He didn't come for her. He came for a replacement. That much was obvious. Silently, two silver streams streaked down her face as she realized that at the moment, she must've been nothing more than a temporary escape as he mourned what had to be his lost lover. Just a replacement... for him, she would never be the real thing.

"You don't have to go."

"Spike, we've been over this. I can't run away with you. Look, I'll be back soon. It's just a short trip, it won't be forever."

He sighed. "I know. I just... have this feeling... like something really bad will happen."

"I've never known you to be superstitious."

"This isn't superstition. Its intuition."

"Well, I promise you, nothing will go wrong. I've got to go. Vicious will be angry if I'm late."

Julia turned to him with one of her rare, perfect smiles, before leaning over and kissing his cheek in an even rarer open display of affection. With that she stepped out of the car and onto the sidewalk before heading down the street toward the parking lot where she would meet with Vicious.

He watched her go, her black coat swaying lightly in the wind and her golden curls flying out behind her in a picturesque moment of perfection. Julia... she was always perfect. Too perfect for him to ever be worthy of, and even more so for Vicious. Vicious could be with her freely, and yet, he took everything about the beautiful woman for granted. It was infuriating.

He wasn't thinking as he drove along, following the path he knew Julia would take. His heart just seemed to call out for her, drawing him like a magnet to her. He pulled up around the corner of a building, discreetly watching as Julia walked through the abandoned parking lot toward the Black Lion's flagship. Vicious stood there, waiting for her at the entrance, and as soon as she was close to him, Vicious grabbed her up in a forceful kiss.

Spike Spiegel was widely known for his temper, and man as a species was known for its possessiveness. Spike gritted his teeth, trying for a moment in vain to hold back the sudden burning need to tear Vicious limb from limb, before he got out of his car and ran for the pair.

"Let go of her!" Spike growled, immediately pulling out the Jericho that served as his constant companion.

Vicious rarely used his gun. He preferred the more traditional method of spilling your opponent's blood by blade. Yet today, he made an exception. He pulled his own gun, showing no surprise or remorse that he had to do so. In fact, the satisfied smirk on his face gave the impression that he had been waiting for it... that he knew it was coming.

The events that unfolded after that moved so quickly that he didn't really have to time to understand it all until it was over. With a desperate cry, Julia launched herself in front of Spike, her last mistake... Vicious didn't hesitate to pull the trigger anyway.

The blood was hard to see through the black material of her clothes, yet he knew it was there. He knew the life would slowly drain out of her, and in that moment, it seemed that everything that was good and right in the world was swallowed by an infinite darkness. Everything... everything was gone.

He was blind and deaf then, even as he called her name, he couldn't hear it. Didn't hear his own gunfire, or the shouts that followed... didn't even feel the bullet that lodged at the outer corner of his eye, cutting off the nerve endings and preventing him from ever seeing things normally again.

As he stumbled to the ground, dizzy and weak from loss of blood, he watched them carry Julia's lifeless body back to the ship through one eye, and as his own life faded, he couldn't help but think, "I knew something bad would happen today."

Spike slowly opened his eyes to the blank expanse of ceiling above him. He hadn't been able to sleep all that night, troubles and memories plaguing his mind every time he started to drift off. Too many things had gone wrong lately, too many things had gone wrong in his life. He was the head of a major syndicate, anything he wanted could be his... yet, even he couldn't bring Julia back from the dead, even he, someone with so much power had been unable to stop the murder of so many of his own men, even he had yet to be able to complete the simple task of finding his sister. He chuckled to himself. Sometimes it just wasn't worth it to be Spike Spiegel.

Outside of his bedroom window, the sun slowly began to peak over the horizon, causing the shadows in his room to shift in a whirlwind of darkness. He watched it, the picture distorted, as though one eye was seeing his gray reality, and the other was staring at a false reflection made over in a rich coffee tint. Ever since she had left the world, he hadn't seen things the same, couldn't see the whole picture for the color distortion in his fake eye. It was as if he were watching a mismatched dream.

Then of course, there was Faye. Loud, whiny, nagging Faye... his lips twitched in a smile. He'd never let on, but they're constant arguing was a source of amusement to him. No one had dared to challenge him like that before, and it was a refreshing change of pace. Still... while it made him forget about Julia for a little while, his brain would always wander back to the blonde-haired goddess that controlled his mind. It didn't matter that he was beginning to think of her a little less as the days went on. Only one woman could ever have his heart...

"There you go, buddy," Jet patted the dog he had deemed 'Ein' on the head after fastening a collar around his neck. The ecstatic Welsh corgi wagged his tail and barked before trotting off to find Ed. Jet couldn't help but smile slightly at this. Ed and Ein had been nearly inseparable since he'd brought the two home from Balamb.

"You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say that dog's been getting on our computer late at night when we're asleep," Zell accused.

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"When I turned the computer on this morning there were all these pictures of girl dogs and stuff."

Jet chuckled as he stood up and headed toward the kitchen. "I better have a talk with Ed. She's probably gotten the idea she's gonna breed a ship full of dogs."

"One dog is one too many," Squall grumbled from the doorway to the living room. Jet and Zell both frowned, and from somewhere down the hall Ein whined. Even the dog could sense the dark aura that had reared its ugly head once more.

"What's your problem, man?" Zell asked, pulling of pair of goggles down over his head as he prepared to search for new bounties.

"Did I say there was a problem?" Squall bit out glaring from one person to the other.

There was a moment of silence before Zell switched on the computer. "Bounties, we need new bounty heads, better get to work on that right away!"

"How do pancakes sound for breakfast, that okay with everyone?" Jet questioned, his voice overlapping with Zell's as they both scrambled desperately for a way out of the line of fire.

Squall's scowl deepened further, as he sat down in the chair with a low growl. Nothing was going right lately. First there was the dream, which was still vivid in his mind, and then that morning he awoke to find himself in his own room... with Rinoa. He strained to remember how he got there in the first place, and could only vaguely recall getting in to the bed next to her, and exchanging a few words. He hoped it went no further than that.

He woke up long before she did, and left as soon as he realized where he was. Maybe if he was lucky, she would think it all just a strange dream. Of course, his luck hadn't helped him much so far...

"Hey, I found something here!" Zell exclaimed. "He's not exactly worth a fortune, but it should be an easy catch."

Squall studied the new bounty, a dark haired man that couldn't have been much older than him. It was pocket change, really, but if it earned them enough for some food... "Where is he?"

"Deling City."

Squall was silent for a moment, his scowl deepening in thought, before he finally said, "Good, we drop the girl off while we're there."

"But the general hasn't offered up that reward yet," Zell reasoned.

"If he hasn't yet, he's not going to. It's about time we got her out of our hair anyway. Set a course for Deling City."

"Hey!" Zell protested. "You're... you're not really gonna make her go back, are you?"

"Of course I am. That was the plan, you know."

"Yeah, but I thought... I was hoping..."

"What, that I would change my mind?" Squall demanded.

Zell smiled sheepishly. "I guess so. Anyway, we'll be in Deling in an hour or so. Maybe you should go wake her up and tell her?"

"Let her sleep!" he barked in reply before sauntering off to the bathroom.

Once the coast was clear, Jet poked his head out from the kitchen and stared in the direction the grumpy bounty hunter had gone. "I've never seen him so pissed off before."

"Me neither. Mr. Cool and Calm never gets worked up like that. What do you think happened?"

Jet shrugged. "I don't know for sure, but the couch was empty when I woke up, and that was pretty early this morning. He's been missing up until now."

"Oh," Zell replied. "So those two... I see. Wow, what an awkward way to leave things off."

"It's none of our business. Just search some info on the bounty, all right? The longer we have to stay in Deling City going after this guy, the more awkward it will be for all of us."

Faye turned the card over in her hand, examining both sides of it before lifting the card in her other hand to her eyes for inspection. They were both exactly alike, not a single flaw to tell one from the other, though neither were originals. Sighing, she tucked them both away in her vest and stood from her bed, pacing around as she thought to herself.

(Was is SeeD that raided head quarters last night? Who ever it was seriously messed things up for me. Spike doesn't trust anyone now, especially me.)

She sighed again. Earlier that day Spike had had orders handed down to her for a drug run on Venus Avenue, but she hadn't actually seen him herself since the day before. She was actually beginning to miss her daily arguments with Mr. Fuzzy Head.

The phone rang, but she ignored it, lacking the motivation to talk with anyone at the moment. The answering machine picked up after the fifth ring, and some foreign voice sounded in her ears. "You got a run to make tonight. Head into the office to receive your details."

The caller said nothing more, just hung up, expecting her to be there even though he wasn't certain she was even home.

Swiping the key to her zip craft from the top of the dresser, Faye grabbed up her brown bomber jacket on the way out and slipped it over her shoulders to protect against the cold. The fluffy-edged collar gave off the scent of her favorite lavender spray, such a drastic change from the scent of smoke that had been embedded within the material two years ago. The sleeves came down over her hands, leaving only her fingertips exposed. The upper half of her slender frame was swallowed within the over-sized apparel and she pulled it tightly around her as she stepped up in the pilot seat of her Red Tail. Despite the three years and the hatred she felt over it, she could still remember clearly how she had acquired, or rather, inherited.

It had been a month since she had been unfrozen and Headmaster Cid and Doctor Kadowaki had decided that she would work off her debt as a SeeD. She was taking crash courses in combat and law, since she had started late, and her schedule was so hectic she didn't have room for anything but studying. Not that it mattered anyway. No one knew much about Faye, except that she had appeared in the infirmary one day and was getting special treatment from the doctor. Rumors had gone around that she was some kind of experiment, or that she had a disease, and so, no one wanted anything to do with Faye. At least not until he arrived.

Whitney Haggus Maximoto... tall, blonde, handsome and too charming for any woman, especially one as shy as Faye was at the time, to resist. He had just come back from a long mission on Venus, and had immediately taken notice of her. All the men had, she could feel their stares upon her, but none were bold enough to approach the mysterious girl but this one man...

It had been like something out of a fairy tale. The handsome prince from some far away land had come and saved the princess from imprisonment with the evil witch's tower, assuming the Cid was the witch, and Garden was the tower, though he wasn't able to actually take her away from it. Still, he saved her from the shell she had started to build. They laughed, danced, talked, and enjoyed all the great things in life she could no longer remember having ever participated in. She fell for him quickly, swept up in the sense of normality he offered, caught in the tidal wave of caring and kindness that no other human being she'd come to know since being in Garden had really showed her.

"Oh, foolish Faye," she whispered to herself. "You should've known..."

For all his charm with the ladies, Whitney was even more charming with the Garden administration. From the gate-worker on the first floor, to the Headmaster on the third, everyone thought Whitney to be some kind of earth-bound saint. And Whitney used his sugarcoated influence to 'charm' the Garden out of millions of gil, a little out of time. The con might have worked out perfectly, were it not for the merging of the First National Bank of Ganymede with the Baysouth Bank of Balamb and several others into a chain of super banks known as the First Interplanetary Bank. When both of Whitney's accounts were entered into the new, singular system for the new chain, and a crosscheck had discovered several deposits of untraceable money, Balamb put two and two together. An informant of Whitney's had discovered the Garden's discovery, and alerted Whitney while he was away on mission. A week later, when Whitney was to be called back for questioning, the man had conveniently been killed in battle, after leaving a statement that all his assets were to be left to his beloved Faye Valentine.

"And debt is an asset, of course," she sneered, still lost in her thoughts.

Spike had been right before. Of course Faye had trust issues. Who was there to trust in this world anymore? A moment of weakness passed over the violet-haired woman, and brilliant emerald eyes clouded over with sudden pain. Who was there to trust, to love or care for anymore? A shrew, he'd once called her. She was someone cold and heartless, selfish and brutal, that's what everyone thought they knew. But why couldn't they see? It was not her that really carried those characteristics, but the rest of the world, those that hid beneath caring and compassionate façades. No one had ever wanted her for anything other than her body, money, or to use her as their scapegoat. That's how the world worked. They only wanted what they could use to their gain.

She landed the ship in the darkened garage of the Red Dragon building and leaned her elbows wearily against the control panel, head down.

"Or maybe I really am a terrible person, with nothing to offer but those things," she murmured to herself. "Maybe I'm not worth their love... I don't remember ever knowing love or kindness before..."

Alone in the darkness, head bowed with her mind tearing her own heart to shreds, Faye's moment was disturbed by the crackle of her craft's comm. system.

"Faye, I know the flight here doesn't take that long. You better hurry," Margie's voice warned her.

Sniffling, Faye wiped frantically at her eyes before swallowing the scorching lump that had grown in her throat. "I'll be right in, Margie," she replied, and to herself she whispered, "That's all you want me for... right?"

She wasn't surprised when she awoke the next morning to a cold and empty bed, but she was surprised at the mixed feelings she held. Under any of other circumstances, sleeping entangled in his warmth would have been a delightful experience, but knowing that he held her with thoughts of another racing through his mind... She wasn't sure she wanted to see his face again this morning.

Still, she decided she wouldn't laze around in bed for yet another day. Broken ribs or not, she was tired of staring at the same four walls. She stood from the bed and pulled a pair of jeans on that had been brought in along with some other clothes of hers. In disgust she ripped his shirt off that she had been wearing as well, and tossed it aside in favor of one of her own. She new that Squall had probably brought her clothes in before just for the sake of getting back his shirt, but she had clung to it anyway, whether to annoy him or because she liked having something of his she wasn't sure.

Now dressed more or less for a public appearance, she headed out into the common area and glanced around. It seemed mostly empty, though she could smell something delicious in the kitchen. Wandering around to the computer that was still set out on the coffee table, Rinoa took a seat in front of it and studied the screen. It was bounty information, obviously, but what really caught her eye was the picture.

"That's Zone!" Rinoa exclaimed to herself. Zell wandered in at that moment, and before he had a chance to speak, Rinoa practically leaped at him. "Zell! Are you guys planning on going after this guy?"

"Yeah, Squall's all ready gone out after him."

"No, I have to stop him!" she cried, rushing as much as she could in her condition to her room to collect her shoes. "I'll be back in a little while, don't worry."

"Rinoa, wait!" Zell called after her, but she was out of hearing range by now. He sighed to himself. "There's something you should know..."

To be continued...

A/N: So, I decided to make this session into two parts due to the length. This is all ready at fourteen pages, after all. The next chapter or two might not have a lot of Spike and Faye together stuff in it, but I do this for a reason. The two have a lot of growing and a lot of issues that they need to sort out, both on their own and together, so there will be times when they head in their own directions, such as this chapter and following one.

Next session: Of all the memories we hold, it seems only the ones that scar us live on in our thoughts. Trapped in an endless cycle, repeating the same mistakes as those we cursed the day before, until we learn the moral of our life story, it will never let us go. Seek freedom in the light of the epiphany, weary creature, for holding a memory too long is certain death. Session 10: Ballad of Lost Memories (Part 2)