by Shadoe Masters
This is Story 9 of "The Great Burt Baiting Saga." These stories center on the characters from Tremors: The Series, and feature Burt, Tyler, and all the gang from Perfection Valley. There are also original characters of my own creation - just so you're warned ahead of time. But please don't let that scare you off. I hope you enjoy them.
While this story is a romance, the people involved are not the most cooperative people in the coupling department. The romantic elements take time to unfold.
Feedback: Please let me know what you think of each story. I love feedback, both good and bad, and the more detailed the better.
Disclaimer: "Tremors" is not owned by me or my affiliates, but by Stampede Entertainment, Universal Studios, and their affiliates. No copyright infringement is intended - just some good, clean (well, mostly) fun!
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Thanks to my beta readers: LadyNRA & the gang at work
Leapin' Lizards!
by Shadoe Masters
Perfection, Nevada, 8/29/2003
"Almost finished," Burt muttered under his breath. Just a few minor adjustments. "Hand me that--" He sighed, then shook his head at his own folly as he realized Kylie wasn't hovering around somewhere behind him. He got up to get the screwdriver out of the truck himself.
Kylie was in Bixby. "Getting her hair done," he muttered. About once a month, she took off for "Bixby" on the pretext of getting her hair done. Burt, though he knew very little about the ways of women - especially women like Kylie - knew it couldn't take three or four days to get anything done to hair. Of course, he didn't see why the thought of Nancy cutting her hair horrified her, either. Nancy cut everyone else's hair in town, including his own. He suspected Kylie had a lot more going on than she revealed. But then, didn't she always?
When she'd gone in June, he thought she was just enjoying the local nightlife in Bixby, much as Tyler often did. But Tyler didn't report seeing her, and a casual survey of the more popular locations yielded no sightings either. He then suspected she'd snuck off to Las Vegas. Subtle questioning, however, ruled that out. She just laughed at him and reiterated her story about getting her hair done.
He made the few adjustments to the balance on the latest improvement to his seismo system and sat back on his heels, not really seeing the equipment his gaze fastened upon so intently.
Following her from the valley was too obvious, so this morning he'd set out early and laid in wait on the busy road leading into Bixby. Her Range Rover had never passed his location.
So where was she?
It was a mystery.
And Burt Gummer did not like mysteries.
He didn't miss her. Certainly not. He'd grown accustomed to her assistance, that was all there was to it. She learned quickly, was eager to help, and didn't keep trying to talk him out of necessary security precautions on the grounds that he was being "paranoid." A capable assistant was necessary for his work - he'd managed to get a lot more done with her around.
But he didn't miss her.
He gave the screwdriver a quick toss and stood. He had a lot of testing to do in the morning and needed to get back to the bunker. He would just have time to--
He heard a roar. Or a screech, perhaps. His hand dropped to the Eagle as he listened to the sound echo, his eyes searching the darkness around him.
Close, but not too close, he decided. His eyes narrowed as his mind sifted through possibilities. It was too deep to be a cougar, too loud to be a coyote. It wasn't - quite - the sound a graboid made as it metamorphosed into shriekers. He had recordings of those.
It seemed to be full of anguish and pain - but that was ridiculous.
He considered tracking it down, but decided it was too late and too dark to go hunting the unknown - alone. In the morning, he thought. He'd get Tyler and the two of them would find out what it was and take care of it.
He wondered what new menace the Valley was about to throw at them.
Burt pulled into town at 0715 hours. He'd spent the morning going over all the records for the past week of all the monitoring devices he'd installed throughout the valley. He'd found nothing. El Blanco hadn't made that noise. He'd been circling around the northern end of the valley for the past five days. He considered another graboid, but there was no sign that would indicate one, and his monitors were all functioning perfectly.
Tyler was at the counter when Burt came in, already in the middle of his breakfast. Burt took the stool next to him and nodded to Jodi when she offered him a cup of coffee. "I need your help," Burt said. "There's something new in the Valley. We need to find out what it is and determine if it's a threat." Tyler glanced at him between forkfuls. "Saturday, Burt," he said. "I've got a tour in about an hour and three more scheduled today." He took another bite. "Why isn't Kylie going?"
Burt pushed his hat back. "It's her Bixby weekend," he grumbled.
"Nope," Tyler replied. "She got in late last night." He pondered that over another bite then shot Burt a grin. "Make that real early this morning. We hit the pass at the same time and raced to town. I won."
Burt was surprised, but pleased. Then settled his face back into its usual stern lines. At least he wouldn't have to go alone, he told himself.
"Breakfast, Burt?" Jodi asked.
Burt nodded. "I think I'll have time." He'd just wait until Kylie came over and they'd be on their way.
Almost an hour later, he was still waiting. He moved to the porch out front and glanced at his watch again.
Tyler, leaning against the tour jeep out front, chuckled. "Not everyone gets up at the crack of O-Dark-Early, Burt. We got in pretty late last night."
Burt shot him a glance, trying to think of some other excuse for loitering around Chang's this morning. He was spared as a carload of tourists arrived and Tyler went into his Tour Guide routine.
But once the tour jeep left, he crossed the street to Nancy's. He knocked once and waited, none-too-patiently. Then raised his hand to knock again when he heard the doorknob rattle, then rattle again, and finally the door opened.
Nancy stood there, her hands covered with pottery clay. "She's in the kitchen," she announced before Burt could say a word. She gave the doorknob a swipe with the stained rag she held, then disappeared back into her workroom without a backward glance.
Burt found Kylie in the kitchen, huddled over the coffeemaker as it dripped liquid slowly into the carafe on the heater, willing it to drip faster. She was wearing that thin colorful robe Burt swore he could see right through, that somehow managed to be loose while clinging to her every curve. Her hair was tousled from sleep with one tuft at the top of her head standing almost straight up.
Burt thought he'd never seen a sexier woman.
Kylie turned to him after he'd stood there a moment, then turned her red-rimmed eyes pointedly toward the clock, then back to him. "Morning," she mumbled, pulling the robe closed and tying it. Her gaze went back to staring at her coffee.
"There's something new out there," Burt announced. "I need your help to investigate."
Kylie's eyes rolled up to the clock again, then back to the coffee. She grabbed a mug from the tree hanging next to the coffee maker and swapped it out for the carafe, carefully pouring the mug full from the liquid already in the carafe, then swapping the mug back out again. She took a cautious sip, closed her eyes in relief, then looked up at Burt. "Good morning, Burt," she said with something close to her usual cheer. "Why yes, I did have a lovely trip, sadly cut short by tragedy - not my own - but lovely all the same. Did you also have a productive day while I was gone?"
Burt stared at her impatiently. "There's something out there we need to look into," he reiterated.
She sighed and crossed the room to sit at the little table by the window. "After coffee," she told him, huddling over her mug. When neither his expression nor impatient stance changed, she sighed again and took pity on him, waving him over to sit down. "But go ahead and tell me all about it."
Burt followed her and took the chair opposite her at the table. "I heard something last night," he said. "Didn't sound like anything I've come across, and the monitors show nothing."
"Any idea what it could be?"
He twisted her mug around and took a sip. "I think you've finally got it," Burt commented.
"At last," she agreed, taking the mug when he set it down.
"No idea. With mixmaster loose, it could be anything. Some sort of new hybrid, I suspect. Ground-based, though. I got nothing from the ABDS and everything I've heard seemed near ground." Burt took the mug and drained it. "We'll need to look for tracks. I think it's somewhere out near Snake Cliff Canyon."
Kylie took the mug and looked mournfully into it, then shot Burt an annoyed glance.
"Go get dressed," he told her. "We're losing daylight."
"What about my workout, Burt? And my run?"
Burt scowled. "We do not have time for that."
Kylie rolled her eyes, but got up. She stopped to pour herself another mug and filled one for Burt. "I have to shower, Burt, or I won't be worth anything," she said, setting the cup down in front of him.
He looked at his watch. "Well, hurry up."
"Riiiight," she said, disappearing into her bedroom just off the kitchen.
She hadn't bothered to close the door, and Burt saw her robe flutter down on the end of the bed. He carefully kept his eyes looking out the window until he heard the shower turn on from the next room.
He'd finished the coffee and was contemplating more when he heard the shower turn off. Still no Kylie. Nancy bustled in and grinned at him. "Still waiting?"
He nodded. "I don't know what takes her so long..."
Nancy disappeared into Kylie's room, shutting the door behind her, to Burt's relief.
"Almost ready?" Nancy asked, just as Kylie came out of the bathroom, nude, still combing her wet hair.
Kylie looked down at herself then back at Nancy. "Sure, all set," she said with a grin before turning to pick up a blow dryer from the dresser next to the door.
"You might want to skip the styling today," Nancy advised. "Burt's about ready to implode."
With a groan, Kylie set down the dryer and crawled across the bed to the closet. "I'll just stand up and make Burt drive real fast. That should dry it." She withdrew a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and threw those on the bed, then crawled back across to the dresser.
"Good idea," Nancy said and started to go, waiting until Kylie was out of direct line-of-sight of the door.
"I take it breakfast is right out?" Kylie asked, stepping into the lower half of a color coordinated underwear set.
Nancy nodded. "Sorry. But I'll pack you something to go if you make it out there before Burt starts screaming."
"Deal," Kylie agreed. She'd slipped into the jeans and sat down on the bed to get into her socks and boots.
"Oh, and you should wear a shirt," Nancy reminded her.
Kylie looked down at herself, still topless. "Ya think? It's kinda hot today - I thought I'd go like this."
Nancy grinned at that. "I think Burt's already under enough strain this morning."