This one was done by Master and Commander Phreak. COMPLEMENT HER NOT
ME!!!!! I JUST POST THE THINGS!
Peter Miles Calamy
Day 1
We saw a ship today, came out of the fog, stupid fog. Hollom saw it, others were too busy looking at his arse. We tried to fight it. Mr. Pullings was injured, but not badly. Damn. Stupid leftenant. Thinks he is prettiest, nancing about. Is v. nice looking, will admit, but he's married, and normal. V. Boring.
Stephen will kill anyone who tries anything with Lucky Jack. If it's not Jack, it's his birds. Jack's nice. V. respectful to us all. V. good violinist too. I wonder what shampoo Killick uses for Jack.
We had to row into the fog, so fog is good, I guess. Man said "Pull like your pulling a French man off your mother." Who care's about mummy, would pull Frenchie off Will.
V. sad. Will got hurt. Cute little blond boy's my friend. He grabbed my arse when I woke him up and hauled him too his feet. V. nice boy
Still not leftenant though...
Day 2
Captain, Doctor, Allen, Mowett, and pretty boy Pullings had big meeting. Listened through door. They were talking about being in prime. Then they started discussing fixing the "masts." Tuned out after that: V. grossed out.
Went to see Will in infirmary. Was not wearing shirt. Looked V. hot. Was very tempted to go and feel him up, but didn't. Was afraid he woul die. Was talking about dying. Will talking about Old Joe, stupid sailor. I think Plaice was hitting on blond boy. Stephen cut off his arm. V. sad. V. grossed out, but was strong for Will. Good thing: Got to feel Will up! Go me!
Still not leftenant
Day 3
Suspect captain of hitting on Blakeney. Gave him book. Got to give Will sponge bath, fine, six. Used Jack's shampoo on Will on bribe from Killick. Did NOT need to see Killick doing THAT with Captain's silver. Am scarred for life.
Doctor operated on Old Joe. Hope stupid sailor dies. Suspect old man of hitting on Will. V. grossed out.
Blakeney has been watching stupid coxswain. Suspect boy fancies sailor. Bonden is V. good looking... Suspect him of shagging Faster Doudle. Was grabbing his arse during opperation. Nagle claims he heard Bondon saying "Faster Doudle Faster!" Ick.
Day 5
Have been v. busy. Captain is def. a Pervy Midshipman fancier.
Had dinner with Captain and other men. Captain trying to cover affair with Doctor. Really, "to wives and sweethearts, may they never meet"
Was captain hitting on me at dinner? Asked about Nelson. Said he served under him at the Nile with Pullings. Perhaps Captain had some relationship with lieutenant? Would be more comprehensible to understand while Pullings is leftenant. Then said how Nelson made your heart glow. Looked at me. V. scared when I saw the look in his eyes.
Did learn good advice told to captain from Nelson "Never mind the manoeuvres, just go straight at 'em." Must keep that in mind with Will.
"Lesser of two weevils." Is that supposed to mean something?
Suspect Hollom of being a eunuch. Has pretty voice. Stupid Hollom. But he was singing to Nagle...
No sign of being Leftenant....
Day 7
Blakeney thinks I am v. awesome. Go me! Took a little raft out for decoy. French followed raft, stupid french.
Ran into storm, stupid storm. Lost Warley. Sad. Was rather fetching.
Nagle was in horrible spirits. Blames Hollom. Knew Hollom was stupid git. Suspect Hollom of standing Nagle up, Hollom sings every night for Nagle. V. annoyed.
Captain Howard is turning out to be a Pervy Midshipman fancier. Had to show us boys his guns.
Suspect one is close to being leftenant. V. Happy.
Day 8
Headed for the sun- HUZZAH!
Will reports Captain plans to go for the Galapagoes. He's obviously trying to get on Doctor's good side again after the spat after the storm.
Will plans to follow doctor collecting bugs. Stupid doctor. Captain will kill him if he tries anything...
Day 10
V. happy. Not going to Galapagoes after all, so Will won't be with doctor- huzzah!
Picked up whalers. Said they saw Acheron, so we are chasing again. Mr. Hogg keeps grabbing Doudle's arse, but he's with Bonden. Suspect Bonden of trying to get Blakeney. V. angry.
Captain and Doctor had big fight. Will tried to cheer Doctor up, useless. Mowett wanted to try "Nelson: The Musical" again, but crew beat him down after his first performance.
Spent afternoon firing cannons. Captain thinks I am doing fine, but then, Captain IS pervy fancier....
Day 13
Stuck in Doldrums. V. hot. Good news- get to see Blakeney shirtless. Let me feel him up one night too- gave him sponge bath.
Nagle was flogged. Insubordinante to Hollom. Is obviously still mad that Hollom stood him up. Williamson almost passed out during flogging, had to drag him up, but not before he grabbed my arse. Lousy Williamson.
Will is mad at me. V. sad. Has been defending Hollom. Got mad when I called Hollom lazy. Suspect he is mad I have made no more advances.
Day 15
Hollom is a Jonah. Jumped overboard other night. Men say Will did it, but I don't believe them.
Got wind back after Hollom left. Rain is v. nice
Spat between Captain and Doctor ended v. nicely after Howard shot doctor. We are going back to the Galapagoes! Higgins, stupid git, can't operate at sea, and doctor will die if the bullet and cloth isn't out. Stupid Doctor. Hope Will will pay attention to me again...
Day 15
Doctor is well again. He and Captain are happy. Will has been running around collecting bugs. He HAS been paying more attention to me, since I won the game the other day...
Waiting for Blakeney to come back from collecting bugs.
Day 17
Action at last! Blakeney and Doctor found Acheron while looking for bird. Are to capture the stupid ship once and for all.
Day 17
V. excited. Have been promoted to "Acting Third Leftenant" HUZZAH! Am to board Acheron and find the whalers. Blakeney is sad he can't board. Could board me any day.
We are dressing as whalers. V. bad sense of dress. Will is to command the Surprise while we fight. Good for him.
Day 18
Killed by French, stupid French.
Blakeney was happy for me after all. Thought I had a chance. Then we boarded, freed the whalers. Then got stabbed by stupid Frenchman while saving Will. Will is alive though.
Stupid French... just promoted too....
Peter Miles Calamy
Day 1
We saw a ship today, came out of the fog, stupid fog. Hollom saw it, others were too busy looking at his arse. We tried to fight it. Mr. Pullings was injured, but not badly. Damn. Stupid leftenant. Thinks he is prettiest, nancing about. Is v. nice looking, will admit, but he's married, and normal. V. Boring.
Stephen will kill anyone who tries anything with Lucky Jack. If it's not Jack, it's his birds. Jack's nice. V. respectful to us all. V. good violinist too. I wonder what shampoo Killick uses for Jack.
We had to row into the fog, so fog is good, I guess. Man said "Pull like your pulling a French man off your mother." Who care's about mummy, would pull Frenchie off Will.
V. sad. Will got hurt. Cute little blond boy's my friend. He grabbed my arse when I woke him up and hauled him too his feet. V. nice boy
Still not leftenant though...
Day 2
Captain, Doctor, Allen, Mowett, and pretty boy Pullings had big meeting. Listened through door. They were talking about being in prime. Then they started discussing fixing the "masts." Tuned out after that: V. grossed out.
Went to see Will in infirmary. Was not wearing shirt. Looked V. hot. Was very tempted to go and feel him up, but didn't. Was afraid he woul die. Was talking about dying. Will talking about Old Joe, stupid sailor. I think Plaice was hitting on blond boy. Stephen cut off his arm. V. sad. V. grossed out, but was strong for Will. Good thing: Got to feel Will up! Go me!
Still not leftenant
Day 3
Suspect captain of hitting on Blakeney. Gave him book. Got to give Will sponge bath, fine, six. Used Jack's shampoo on Will on bribe from Killick. Did NOT need to see Killick doing THAT with Captain's silver. Am scarred for life.
Doctor operated on Old Joe. Hope stupid sailor dies. Suspect old man of hitting on Will. V. grossed out.
Blakeney has been watching stupid coxswain. Suspect boy fancies sailor. Bonden is V. good looking... Suspect him of shagging Faster Doudle. Was grabbing his arse during opperation. Nagle claims he heard Bondon saying "Faster Doudle Faster!" Ick.
Day 5
Have been v. busy. Captain is def. a Pervy Midshipman fancier.
Had dinner with Captain and other men. Captain trying to cover affair with Doctor. Really, "to wives and sweethearts, may they never meet"
Was captain hitting on me at dinner? Asked about Nelson. Said he served under him at the Nile with Pullings. Perhaps Captain had some relationship with lieutenant? Would be more comprehensible to understand while Pullings is leftenant. Then said how Nelson made your heart glow. Looked at me. V. scared when I saw the look in his eyes.
Did learn good advice told to captain from Nelson "Never mind the manoeuvres, just go straight at 'em." Must keep that in mind with Will.
"Lesser of two weevils." Is that supposed to mean something?
Suspect Hollom of being a eunuch. Has pretty voice. Stupid Hollom. But he was singing to Nagle...
No sign of being Leftenant....
Day 7
Blakeney thinks I am v. awesome. Go me! Took a little raft out for decoy. French followed raft, stupid french.
Ran into storm, stupid storm. Lost Warley. Sad. Was rather fetching.
Nagle was in horrible spirits. Blames Hollom. Knew Hollom was stupid git. Suspect Hollom of standing Nagle up, Hollom sings every night for Nagle. V. annoyed.
Captain Howard is turning out to be a Pervy Midshipman fancier. Had to show us boys his guns.
Suspect one is close to being leftenant. V. Happy.
Day 8
Headed for the sun- HUZZAH!
Will reports Captain plans to go for the Galapagoes. He's obviously trying to get on Doctor's good side again after the spat after the storm.
Will plans to follow doctor collecting bugs. Stupid doctor. Captain will kill him if he tries anything...
Day 10
V. happy. Not going to Galapagoes after all, so Will won't be with doctor- huzzah!
Picked up whalers. Said they saw Acheron, so we are chasing again. Mr. Hogg keeps grabbing Doudle's arse, but he's with Bonden. Suspect Bonden of trying to get Blakeney. V. angry.
Captain and Doctor had big fight. Will tried to cheer Doctor up, useless. Mowett wanted to try "Nelson: The Musical" again, but crew beat him down after his first performance.
Spent afternoon firing cannons. Captain thinks I am doing fine, but then, Captain IS pervy fancier....
Day 13
Stuck in Doldrums. V. hot. Good news- get to see Blakeney shirtless. Let me feel him up one night too- gave him sponge bath.
Nagle was flogged. Insubordinante to Hollom. Is obviously still mad that Hollom stood him up. Williamson almost passed out during flogging, had to drag him up, but not before he grabbed my arse. Lousy Williamson.
Will is mad at me. V. sad. Has been defending Hollom. Got mad when I called Hollom lazy. Suspect he is mad I have made no more advances.
Day 15
Hollom is a Jonah. Jumped overboard other night. Men say Will did it, but I don't believe them.
Got wind back after Hollom left. Rain is v. nice
Spat between Captain and Doctor ended v. nicely after Howard shot doctor. We are going back to the Galapagoes! Higgins, stupid git, can't operate at sea, and doctor will die if the bullet and cloth isn't out. Stupid Doctor. Hope Will will pay attention to me again...
Day 15
Doctor is well again. He and Captain are happy. Will has been running around collecting bugs. He HAS been paying more attention to me, since I won the game the other day...
Waiting for Blakeney to come back from collecting bugs.
Day 17
Action at last! Blakeney and Doctor found Acheron while looking for bird. Are to capture the stupid ship once and for all.
Day 17
V. excited. Have been promoted to "Acting Third Leftenant" HUZZAH! Am to board Acheron and find the whalers. Blakeney is sad he can't board. Could board me any day.
We are dressing as whalers. V. bad sense of dress. Will is to command the Surprise while we fight. Good for him.
Day 18
Killed by French, stupid French.
Blakeney was happy for me after all. Thought I had a chance. Then we boarded, freed the whalers. Then got stabbed by stupid Frenchman while saving Will. Will is alive though.
Stupid French... just promoted too....