You have been loved
by: Jessica -
Note: Final part. This sucked BIG TIME and I'm sorry but I had to finished it this way.
I kind of just gave up..I'm not liking the way it turned out.
The rain smashed against my window as I drove to the hospital.
My heart was beating like crazy as I walked the path to her room.
I found him by her door.
Ducky.
He looked up as I approached and our eyes met.
"Ducky."
"Jethro."
"What has happened? I got a call to get back here."
"I think you should sit down."
"I don't want to sit down."
"Maybe it's better to sit down."
"Just tell me what happened."
I knew the truth.
I could see it in his face.
It was written in his eyes.
But like a fool I tried to avoid the truth.
"Please, Jethro.."
"Tell me, Ducky."
"It happened about half an hour ago. I don't know all the details."
"What details?"
"The doctor..I spoke to him. She just...."
His voice faded to black and he lowered his head.
And I knew.
I just knew.
And something inside of me came apart.
And there was nothing left to stop it from happening.
"No."
"They say that she just gave up."
"I refuse to believe that."
Our eyes met.
"She stopped breathing, Jethro."
"No."
"She's a fighter. They told me. They told me that she would be fine."
"She had lost a lot of blood and her breathing...."
"No. I don't want to hear it..Get me a doctor! I want to talk to her doctor."
I turned around and scanned the hallway for a doctor.
A voice in my head was screaming that it was too late.
But I refused to listen.
I was clinging to the last remaining piece of hope that still lived inside of me.
"Jethro."
"No, Ducky. They are supposed to help her. They are supposed to be this great. I have been here before. I have seen a lot of bullit wounds. I have been her, for God's sake.
But never..You are not supposed to...She's not supposed to...."
I couldn't make myself say the word.
If I did it would be real.
And I couldn't take it.
Not yet.
I needed to fight for her.
I needed to save her.
I was the one that saved people.
I was the one that made things right.
I always made things right.
I was an hero.
If I wasn't.
Then who am I?
"Jethro..It was her time."
"Don't say that!"
I turned towards him.
"She just..."
"No! I don't want to hear it! Where is that damn doctor!?"
"Jethro."
"I said NO! There has to be some way to.."
"She's gone."
"Don't you say that. You should be in there. You're a doctor, for God's sake. Why aren't you in there trying to get her back? They have a lot of things these days. They can bring her back."
"No..Not this time. It's too late."
"Don't say that! Don't you fuckin' say that!"
I moved towards him.
"Jethro."
He reached out his hand towards me but I backed away.
It felt like something was on my chest,weighing me down.
"No."
"You couldn't have saved her."
"Ducky."
"You know that. There was nothing you could have done. It was just her time."
I was drowning.
It felt like I was falling.
I stood there.
"I want to see her."
"I think you should.."
"I want to see her, Ducky."
"Okay."
I never knew pain before I stepped into that room.
I thought I was unbreakable.
Guess I was wrong.
I thought this life had thought me how to survive anything.
But I wasn't so sure anymore.
She lay on the bed.
The rain smashed angrily against the window as the moon broke through the dark clouds.
I had been here before.
I had said goodbye before.
And I have let go of people.
Remember not to fall I moved towards the bed.
My hands trembled a little as I pulled up a chair and sat down beside her bed.
All I had left now was to say goodbye.
I couldn't save her.
I couldn't bring her back to me.
There was no one I could fight.
She was never mine in the first place.
So I have nothing to let go of.
I was the one that walked away.
I was the one that let go.
If I had only hold on a little while longer, than maybe nothing like this would ever had happened.
But like a little boy I had run away.
I had taken the easy way out and ignore the fact that my heart screamed for her.
I had chosen to close my eyes for the truth.
I closed my eyes in a weak attempt of shuting the pain out.
My voice was barely a whisper as I spoke:
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Fool.
I had hold on to my heart so tight afraid of losing myself in her.
And now it was too late to go back.
Her hand was cold as I took it mine.
She was still so beautiful.
It was time to let her go.
But how could I when every part of me needed her?
When my memory still was clouded by the feel of her against me.
I can still remember the feel of her hand against my body.
Her mouth against mine.
The feeling of losing myself in her.
How can I let go when every part of me is screaming to hold on?
But it was too late now.
It was time to say goodbye.
My voice was barely a whisper as I spoke my final goodbye:
"I think I might have loved you."
With those words I died.
That was the end of me.
The last remaining piece of my heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces and flew across the floor and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.
This was goodbye.
---------
by: Jessica -
Note: Final part. This sucked BIG TIME and I'm sorry but I had to finished it this way.
I kind of just gave up..I'm not liking the way it turned out.
The rain smashed against my window as I drove to the hospital.
My heart was beating like crazy as I walked the path to her room.
I found him by her door.
Ducky.
He looked up as I approached and our eyes met.
"Ducky."
"Jethro."
"What has happened? I got a call to get back here."
"I think you should sit down."
"I don't want to sit down."
"Maybe it's better to sit down."
"Just tell me what happened."
I knew the truth.
I could see it in his face.
It was written in his eyes.
But like a fool I tried to avoid the truth.
"Please, Jethro.."
"Tell me, Ducky."
"It happened about half an hour ago. I don't know all the details."
"What details?"
"The doctor..I spoke to him. She just...."
His voice faded to black and he lowered his head.
And I knew.
I just knew.
And something inside of me came apart.
And there was nothing left to stop it from happening.
"No."
"They say that she just gave up."
"I refuse to believe that."
Our eyes met.
"She stopped breathing, Jethro."
"No."
"She's a fighter. They told me. They told me that she would be fine."
"She had lost a lot of blood and her breathing...."
"No. I don't want to hear it..Get me a doctor! I want to talk to her doctor."
I turned around and scanned the hallway for a doctor.
A voice in my head was screaming that it was too late.
But I refused to listen.
I was clinging to the last remaining piece of hope that still lived inside of me.
"Jethro."
"No, Ducky. They are supposed to help her. They are supposed to be this great. I have been here before. I have seen a lot of bullit wounds. I have been her, for God's sake.
But never..You are not supposed to...She's not supposed to...."
I couldn't make myself say the word.
If I did it would be real.
And I couldn't take it.
Not yet.
I needed to fight for her.
I needed to save her.
I was the one that saved people.
I was the one that made things right.
I always made things right.
I was an hero.
If I wasn't.
Then who am I?
"Jethro..It was her time."
"Don't say that!"
I turned towards him.
"She just..."
"No! I don't want to hear it! Where is that damn doctor!?"
"Jethro."
"I said NO! There has to be some way to.."
"She's gone."
"Don't you say that. You should be in there. You're a doctor, for God's sake. Why aren't you in there trying to get her back? They have a lot of things these days. They can bring her back."
"No..Not this time. It's too late."
"Don't say that! Don't you fuckin' say that!"
I moved towards him.
"Jethro."
He reached out his hand towards me but I backed away.
It felt like something was on my chest,weighing me down.
"No."
"You couldn't have saved her."
"Ducky."
"You know that. There was nothing you could have done. It was just her time."
I was drowning.
It felt like I was falling.
I stood there.
"I want to see her."
"I think you should.."
"I want to see her, Ducky."
"Okay."
I never knew pain before I stepped into that room.
I thought I was unbreakable.
Guess I was wrong.
I thought this life had thought me how to survive anything.
But I wasn't so sure anymore.
She lay on the bed.
The rain smashed angrily against the window as the moon broke through the dark clouds.
I had been here before.
I had said goodbye before.
And I have let go of people.
Remember not to fall I moved towards the bed.
My hands trembled a little as I pulled up a chair and sat down beside her bed.
All I had left now was to say goodbye.
I couldn't save her.
I couldn't bring her back to me.
There was no one I could fight.
She was never mine in the first place.
So I have nothing to let go of.
I was the one that walked away.
I was the one that let go.
If I had only hold on a little while longer, than maybe nothing like this would ever had happened.
But like a little boy I had run away.
I had taken the easy way out and ignore the fact that my heart screamed for her.
I had chosen to close my eyes for the truth.
I closed my eyes in a weak attempt of shuting the pain out.
My voice was barely a whisper as I spoke:
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Fool.
I had hold on to my heart so tight afraid of losing myself in her.
And now it was too late to go back.
Her hand was cold as I took it mine.
She was still so beautiful.
It was time to let her go.
But how could I when every part of me needed her?
When my memory still was clouded by the feel of her against me.
I can still remember the feel of her hand against my body.
Her mouth against mine.
The feeling of losing myself in her.
How can I let go when every part of me is screaming to hold on?
But it was too late now.
It was time to say goodbye.
My voice was barely a whisper as I spoke my final goodbye:
"I think I might have loved you."
With those words I died.
That was the end of me.
The last remaining piece of my heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces and flew across the floor and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.
This was goodbye.
---------