A/N: Muchas gracias to my reviewers! Since I started this story (9/20/04) I've been writing the chapters at school and then typed them up when I got home, but seeing as I can't afford to neglect my homework and classwork much longer (though I'll hold out as long as possible) I might not be able to update every day. But don't worry, I'm not abandoning this story...I've had it in my system too long!

Kathy: No, Katie isn't living with the Weasleys. In this story, Katie's a muggleborn, so to make everything easier, she stayed with the Weasleys from the time she got off the Hogwarts Express 'til the Falcons vs. Wasps match. Although, Katie living with the Weasleys doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Maybe...but until I decide to add that bit of drama in there, just stick with the current explanation.

elle-poohbear: Yeah, you're not the first one to ask for longer chapters. I'll try making them longer, but I don't know how soon it's gonna be.

Reina del Noche: Yeah, I can't stand it when people abandon their stories. Ironically enough, it's always the one-shots you want more of.

Mijy: Thanks, it's nice to know that someone likes my writing style (or lack there of). My English teacher hated it (or me) so much that she goes "Hannah, you have so much trouble with English, I don't think you can afford to take a second language", so I didn't end up taking German 'til 8th grade.

Lia06: Thanks! I read some of your stuff too, almost all of it I think, and it was really good too!

p0pptartt: I hope this is long enough for you!

Okay, on with the chapter. This one will be a bit more vulgar, but not as much as it could be (I am an American teenager!)

Chapter 3: Detention

The first week passed relatively quickly, considering this was our N.E.W.T.s year, and before I knew it, it was the last class of the week, Defense with the Slytherins.

Professor Lupin assigned us to find a partner and sit at a table to await further directions.

"Now, class, today we will be defending ourselves against rabid kneazels. Simple, I know, but it will be on your N.E.W.T.s. This requires more of a charm than a spell, actually, because in order to defend yourselves you will need to heal it of its chronic illness. You may" he waved his wand and one kneazel (that was foaming at the mouth, mind you) appeared on each table, "begin".

Oliver and I were both exceptionally good at Defense Against the Dark Arts, so in a good 5 minutes we were deep in conversation (me with a perfectly content kneazel in my lap). I was currently debating with Oliver on whether or not he should give us a Quidditch practice tonight. I was losing. Badly.

"Come on, Oliver! It's the first week back! We all have a mountain of homework, can't you let us off just this once?!?"

"Here, Kate, I'll make you a deal. If you come to Quidditch practice and refrain from complaining then I'll take you to Hogsmeade for some butterbeer."

"Mulled mead."

"Firewhiskey, and that's my final offer."

"Deal!" I agreed, and we shook on it, but not before I muttered "Bloody half-weight" under my breath.

When we had finished with our debate, I came to the conclusion that Professor Lupin must have been trying to get our attention, because I had just noticed him yelling "Mr. Wood and Miss Bell!" with a look of frustration and, dare I say, amusement evident on his face.

"Yes, Professor?" Oliver and I asked simultaneously, each with a look on our face similar to that of a child that just got caught with his had in the biscuit jar.

"Your kneazel is attacking Mr. Flint." At this, Oliver and I exposed looks of pure indifference.

"Right, well, minus 5 points for your apathy."

Oliver settled with shooting Flint the dirty birdie, but I decided to fight back.

"But she was instigated, Professor!" I argued.

"And who do you suppose was the instigator?"

"Bloody Side-Show Bob over there!" I replied forcefully, nodding my head in Flint's general direction as the bell rang.

"That's quite enough, Miss Bell. I will be expecting you in detention tonight."

"But she didn't do anything!" Oliver suddenly burst out.

"I suppose I'll be seeing you too then, Mr. Wood."

I didn't even have to look at Oliver to know what he was thinking.

Quidditch.

After everyone but us was gone, I nodded at Oliver, giving him the signal, and we made our way to Professor Lupin's desk, which he was currently sitting behind.

I took the seat in front of his desk while Oliver stood by my side. "Erm, Professor?" I asked in a would-be sensual voice. "Could I have a word?"

"Have a sentence, even," he replied without even looking up.

Right, well, erm, how old are you, Professor?" I asked, the sexiness finally making an effort to show up. He finally looked up and raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Why?"

"Well, I mean, you look way too young to be a professor," I purred in return, while stroking the hand that wasn't occupying a quill. He blushed severely, but stood his ground.

"32."

"Really? Well, you certainly don't look it."

"Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Bell?"

"What?!? No, of course not! What ever gave you that idea?" Shit. Deciding to use a different technique, I quickly removed my hand from his and placed it over my heart.

"I'll have you know, Professor Lupin, that my intentions are not only good, but nonexistent!" At this, I glanced up at Oliver, telling him it was time to help.

"I'll have you know that I am innocent – "

" – extremely innocent"

"honorable – "

"and virginal! – "

" – hopelessly virginal!"

"So why is it that we're having this conversation?" Lupin interrogated.

"To be quite honest, Professor L., it's because Oliver and I will not be able to attend this evening's detention," I replied mock-disconsolately.

"And why is that?"

Uh-oh...

"Well, uh, I, erm, Oliver is... Oliver is supposed to escort me to the infirmary to pick up a potion."

"Really? A potion? Whatever for?" Damn Hogwarts graduate.

"Erm...morning sickness?" SHIT!! Why, Godric? WHY?!?

"Morning sickness? But I was lead to believe you were – oh how was it so gracefully put – 'hopelessly virginal'."

Breathe, Katie, breathe!!!

"Yeah, um, well, I, uh...I AM! So obviously I'm not pregnant, which means I don't have morning sickness, but that's not what I'm talking about. It's not M-O-R-N-I-N-G sickness, it's M-O-U-R-N-I-N-G sickness. And it's not me, it's Oliver." At this, Oliver nodded fervently. It was now my turn to help him.

Professor Lupin shot Oliver an inquisitive and highly amused look. Oliver, however, glared daggers at me. Merlin, if looks could kill...

"Yes, Professor. I have currently been in a deep state of mourning. You see, my...3rd cousin's step-sister's birth-mother's broomstick's previous owner's husband died, as I just recently found out."

"I see." Get ready, Bell.

"Yes, it was a tragic – "

" – dreadfully tragic"

"death. It was the Death-Eaters – "

"– big bunch of hooded brutes. You may have heard of them..."

"They came to my 3rd cousin's step-sister's birth-mother's broomstick's previous owner and her husband's house and just started firing curses. First it was the killing curse, but he was much too quick for that – "

" – the bloke moved faster than lightning!"

"and then it was things like other severe curses and the other Unforgivables – "

" – I don't think they'll ever forgive 'em."

"It was all, like I've said, very tragic."

"You say he dodged the Killing Curse?" Professor Lupin asked.

"Yes, he was moving quite fast," Oliver reinstated.

"What could he have possibly been doing that could have required him to move fast enough to out-run the Killing Curse?"

I said the first thing that came to mind: "He and the misses were doing the 'Wham-Bam-Thank You, Ma'am' on the kitchen counter."

"I see."

The three of us must have been silent for a good 3 minutes, which was no treat for my attention-deficit mind.

Clearing my throat, I asked, surrendered, "So, I guess we'll be seeing you after dinner, then?"

"8:30," was all Professor Lupin replied, and went back to grading his papers.

As we were walking away, the only thing a rather peeved Oliver said was, "I'm going to tell you this for the last time: The 'hopeless virgin' story and the 'morning sickness' story are TWO DIFFERENT STORIES!!!"

"Shut up," I muttered dejectedly, and we made our way to the Great Hall.

Hope that's long enough for everyone!