Chapter 2, A Parents View
Oh dear, we were hoping for a lovely little princess, blessed by three good fairies, grow up, beautiful, intelligent and well mannered then marry a prince and inherit the kingdom!! But what did we get?? A 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' clone who would rather go clubbing than go to the balls arranged for her! At her birth, one of the fairies were "unavailable" due to a heart attack and was in hospital with fairyitus. Typical, fairies are such hypochondriacs!!!! So she got blessed with beauty and intelligence but missed out on the well-mannered princess spell! Just our luck. She doesn't even wear the pink ball gowns we bought her, she prefers to wear slinky black minidresses and combat trousers, parachute pants, jeans, crop tops etc!!! We even called her Cinderella after the Disney film princess in hope that she would grow up like her but, alas. When she was a little girl she flushed all her Barbies down the loo and laughed when the royal plumber tried to unblock the bog and got covered in Barbie bras! When she was 11 she was expelled from home tutoring for gluing her teachers hair to the blackboard and taking pictures on her camera phone and sending to the daily mail under the headline " Royal tutor all glued up on teaching Hell child!" Imagine our embarrassment! When she started kicking the suitors out the door what could we do, but banish her! As we watched her pink smart car drive away with the words "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" grafittied on the back, we dialled 0800 798 683 for BBC and told them to follow our daughter everywhere. She is the new big brother and we can watch what she does every day on BBC 2 non-stop! Our poor little Cinderella.