All I Wanted Was A Kiss
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

Warnings: shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

Note: From this part on, it was written after my bout of psychotic humor, so it's probably in a different style, and a lot less funny. ;

Revised, Completed 10/04

All I Wanted Was A Kiss
PART 9

Did I say tomorrow? I meant never.

Wufei was true to his word: Treize conducted lessons as often he was a guest in Wufei's bed (every night for a solid week!), although lessons were often cut short by... ehem... you know... you know-- it's a bed... with two sexy men in it... instructing two wide-eyed students (I only fell asleep once) on the wiles and ways and methods and the certain places that exist, where one can lick or bite to have complete control over one's subject...

"... Why is my pillow in your lap oh my god nevermind keep it there, Maxwell, no, no, I don't want it anymore--"

Anyway, we had lessons as often as we could, we researched diligently in the school library... That lasted for about twenty minutes, because the only book there that was about sex was only ten pages long, had no pictures, and was about forty years old. I repeat: no pictures!

We expended an inestimable amount of effort; the plan was destined to work!

It was just taking so damn long!

"What was that?"

Sigh. "What was what, Maxwell?"

"What he just did to you," I squeezed my pillow-- formerly known as Wufei's pillow, but he was kind enough to let me keep it-- and I gestured with my hand. "The thing he did to your ear."

Wufei's eyes widened slightly, and he responded quickly. "Nothing. It was nothing. Now quit interrupting-- continue Treize--"

"That was not nothing!" I objected. I knew something when I saw... something... it-- whatever! Treize had leaned over during his erotic oration-- tonight's focus was hands; various veins and nerves that were most sensitive to touch, and licks... Quatre was taking notes... I should take notes... too busy gaping...--

Treize had leaned over and just brushed his bottom lip across the rim of Wufei's ear. It was like he'd whispered something, but no sound had come from his lips. Whatever it was, Wufei's body shuddered, he'd closed his eyes and slumped over into the position I'd come to recognize as The Arousal of Wufei... one of the Three Stages of Wufei, discovered through practicing the Most Successful Attention-Garnering Actions That Can Be Done To Wufei, Without Him Trying To Kill You.

Whew. That's a lot of capitals; and there are very few things that can be done to Wufei, that won't result in him trying to kill you. I should know.

Anyhow, with all the time I'd spent around Wufei, specifically Wufei in the presence of Treize, I knew what excited the guy. grin Me and Quatre were voyeurs! Good ones, too!

We have to be, I reminded myself. Gotta soak up as much learnin' as we can, before we set out on our own. Yes, the time was nearing to partake of our most perilous journey yet... the one through which we may never survive...

"It was nothing," Wufei graveled again. "Now do you want to continue this, or do you want to go back to your rooms? I've got plenty of other work I could be doing instead of baby-sitting you two perverts--"

"Perverts?" Quatre interjected. He wasn't insulted by the comment; he looked intrigued, and grinned sweetly. "That's funny."

"That's what you are!" Wufei roared. "Coming in here every night when we're... when we're here... watching him do things to me--" he had to stop, because Treize was doing things to him again, and he had to beat the guy off with the Pillow of Ultimate Doom (renamed after a lump had formed on my head from being beaten with it too many times).

"Stop it! I'm trying to-- Treize!"

Quatre sighed suddenly, and it was the sound one makes when one has completed a most tiring project. "I think we're ready," he announced quietly.

"Wow! I didn't know you could bend like that!" I cheered. Wufei shrieked.

"Duo, we're ready."

"Look at him go!" I laughed heartily and patted Quatre's back. He was sitting next to me on the floor, neatening his notes and trying to get my attention for some reason. Who cares! Treize has the longest tongue I've ever seen!!

"Duo," he tried again, poking my pillow (that got me). "Did you hear?"

I finally looked at him. His eyes were expectant, his face serious and determined. I nodded...

"Ehh, what did you say?"

WHACK!

"DAMNIT! Why'd you both hit me??" I shouted, rubbing my nose and the top of my head, both having been assailed by the Pillow of Ultimate Doom and Quatre's notebook, at the same time. Geeze, what do they do, coordinate attacks?? I wouldn't be surprised...

Quatre stood up, ignoring my pained protest. "I said we're ready! I've got all the notes we could need, especially for your mission." He paused and looked at me. "You know, you didn't really need all these lessons, if you only want one kiss."

I paused. Wufei paused. Treize shook his head derisively and flopped down on the bed.

Damn. They figured me out...

"Moral support?" I suggested.

"PERVERT!!"