A/N: OMG vanillafluffy reviewed my stooooooooory! I llllllike your stuff sweetie! Nope, nothing wrong with meeeee. Thank you Dawnie-7, reviews from reaaaally big fans are sooooo nice! And Livvy Depp for kickstaaaaarting my ass into finishing this. And Isabela Pucini for being my fiiirst reviewer and writing so muuuch. Thank you for all my revieeeews!

I can't find any other Fear and Loathings, does anyone know of any??? Am I the only one? 'Can they hear me?'

Chapter Five

I'm vaguely aware of something warm touching me. I assume it's Ema, and we've just shifted sleeping places a bit. I roll completely over, and find myself staring at Michelle. A sleeping Michelle. A naked, sleeping Michelle. I quickly and quietly peer down at myself. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I look over to the other bed, Ema's not there. Where is she? The bottle of ether is placed precariously on the bedside table, lid off, nearly empty. God, what some people do for a good time.

I slide out of bed, and quietly get dressed. Placing a cigarette in my mouth I look back at Michelle. How the fuck did that happen? I mean, I don't remember anything. Maybe it was all her, maybe she lured me into her bed using a massive overdose of ether?

No, I don't think so. Surprisingly able to collect my thoughts, knowing how much of something I had to have taken last night to do, to do. . .that deed, with that person. Ema must have taken the ether, and now she's gone.

I pack everything as silently as I can into the case, open the hotel room door, and shut it quietly behind me. I sigh, a sigh of relief, I believe. I light the cigarette and turn to leave the hotel, stumbling over Ema as I go.

She's lying curled up in a ball outside the hotel room, the stars and stripes flag resting just in her hand, still damp. Ah, fuck it. I pick it up and take a deep, deep breath, I'm gonna need it. I shake Ema awake, using my thumb to open her eyelids. Darn, her eyes are pretty dilated, she's gonna be out for a while. As quietly as I can, I put the case down, roll her over and pick her up and throw her over my shoulder, supporting her legs, and take up the case again. It's early morning, there's not many people about, there's a few cleaners and hotel staff, but that's it.

I take Ema out to the car, I'll leave Michelle, argh, Michelle. I shudder. I'll leave Michelle to check out when she waits up. But that didn't take long. As I slide into the drivers seat, I take a last look at Ema, lying sprawled out on the backseat of the car, and then, try and find the keys. Just as I do, Michelle comes out of the front door of the hotel, clad only in her undergarments, waving a screaming like a lunatic.

"Argh!" I exclaim, trying desperately to get the keys into the car. I turn on the engine, as Michelle comes up and hits me on the shoulder. "Nehhhhh." The car begins to move, and we leave her behind.

God, what the fuck happened there? I went to sleep, I wake up naked in someone else's bed? Gotta be drugs involved, I look over to the case sitting on the passenger seat, taking the ether soaked flag out of my pocket and take a breath.

We get onto the freeway. That's it. That must have been what happened, she drugged me, used me, and then expected me with be with her? Now, she was left, and I was happy. Trying to remember the previous day's events gets me thinking about why we're in Baltimore. Sure it's a lovely place, but I have no use here. Baltimore, Baltimore, Baltimore. Something about camels. I swerve back onto the road, after carelessly drifting over the other lane, and then nearly off the road altogether. God, could have caused an accident man! Thank you the roads are pretty free this cold and horrid morning.

So, I slept with Michelle, nothing I can now do about it. I was in Baltimore, nothing I can do about it, I'm going back to DC, that's fine. That's good. What was I in DC for? This question took a while, as I had consumed a very large amount of illegal substances and couldn't remember really past putting Ema in the car this morning. I take another breath of ether, presidential speech! See? I knew it'd come back to me. So, had the speech taken place already? Yes, yes it had. There had been multiple Ema's, and that, was how we had met Michelle. I turn on the stereo and some form of metal rock music blasted out of it. I squeak, and hastily turn it down a little.

I was screwed. I'm in Baltimore, I completely missed the speech, I haven't got anything for my editor. God knew he was trying to contact me at that moment, find out where his Goddamn story was. I didn't have a story. So I'd have to make it up. Right.

President Nixon, talking about weapons of mass distraction. That had been the theme, or so I remember. So here we go.

President Nixon today spoke his speech. No. President Nixon yesterday presented his speech on weapons of mass distraction. That was a good starting point. Then what? What the fuck had this speech actually been about? How weapons of mass distraction were in the Middle East? How they were bad? I'll talk about both. I take a pen from the car and turn my head so I'm looking at my hand straight. With one hand on the wheel and one holding the pen, I attempt to scribble Middle East on the back of my hand, but as I do we veer over the side of the road and come to a halt, and I have a squiggle on my hand up to my elbow.

I start the car again and get back onto the road. A few minutes later, Ema begins to come round. She sits up, her hair flying about in the wind. Clumsily, she gets onto the passenger seat, flinging the case onto the backseat.

"You alright?" I ask her. She shakes her head and rests it on her knees for a moment. I take glances at her whenever I can take my eyes off the road, and there's a few more cars about now. "There's peanuts in the case somewhere, if they'll bring you down," I offered my knowledge. Gonzo had put them there when he was sane, for personal use the morning after we had fallen asleep completely stoned in LA. But we had never used them.

Ema turns to the backseat and fumbles around for the peanuts. Y'know, there's something about her. She was pretty, so my stoned-self liked her, she had a personality like mine when we were both feeling alright. And looks aren't everything, but good looks and good personality is, right? There was something about her that made me bring her with me on this trip, and not leaving her behind like Michelle. But Michelle was me. She'd find a guy hitchhiker, take him about on her quest for stories for her magazine. She was exactly like me, and opposites attract, not the same things. Ema sat back down in the front seat, pouring peanuts into her mouth.

"Did we get the story?" she asks. I look to her.

"No, we didn't get the story. I can hardly remember anything about the speech, Washington DC, or anything, you?"

"Only a little."

"Well, with your little and my little then we might get something. I remember weapons of mass distraction," I tell her.

"Destruction," she butts in.

"No, no. Definitely distraction. And something about the Middle East. And weapons of mass distraction," I muse.

"The President was talking about," Ema waves her hands about a bit, searching for inspiration. "About. . ."

"About?"

"About, weapons of mass distraction in the Middle East, how we should deal with weapons of mass distraction in the Middle East, without going to war with the Middle East, Vietnam?" she asks.

"You're right!" I exclaim.

Together, for the next hour and a half, we piece together what had been said at the speech, and anything we had forgotten we made up. So it mostly made sense, but there was a little of the insane in the story. And riding back to DC and then to LA with Ema, I felt that I was glad I'd been on this trip. I'd had an experience, a good experience, and I was glad I'd picked her up at the side of the road, and I was glad we stayed together in Washington, glad we'd both gone to the speech. And I realized that I did have feelings for her. Not deep, gushy feelings, but friendship, and respect. Hopefully something we'd both have for a long time in the future.