I don't own Artemis Fowl or Fear Factor. Read, Review, NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!

The First Stunt

The six stood in the wind blown scene, it was something that made for an interesting artistic shot, but it was also completely fake. The camera wouldn't do any close ups of any person due to the severe eye dry outs. Holly was blinking faster than usual and Artemis had to wipe his eyes repeatedly.

"Well competitors," Foaly said as he walked over to the front of the large group. "As you can see I've gathered all of you out in a very secluded area here for two reasons. The first being that you are here so we aren't spotted, the second being that our stunt is going to take place here."

"And why do you have a fan blowing our eyes out?" Juliet asked. The camera quickly planned over to the centaur and showed him giving the girl the evil eye.

"What fan? That is the wind."

"No, I see a fan," Artemis said, thoroughly enjoying watching the centaur struggle. "There's one over there, there, and there."

Foaly could feel his eye twitching as he looked back and forth between the six. He had his hand rested on a holster around his waist to show them the gun he was carrying. They shut up pretty fast.

"Now, let's not waste any more time than we have with that ridiculous nonsense about the fan and get on with the task," Foaly swept his arm behind himself and showed them all a giant man-made pool of a strange greenish liquid. Flying over the pool was a LEP shuttle being flown by a strange looking dwarf. Almost simultaneously everyone gave a terrified gulp. "I bet you're all wondering what you have to do." Foaly said menacingly.

"I bet we all already have a pretty good idea," Holly commented. Foaly shot the girl a look and she shut her mouth. Foaly glared at each person as if saying Just try…just try and push me.

"You are going to be hanging from the edge of the shuttle and you have to go all the way around gathering flags. While you are doing this the shuttle pilot will be drinking gallons upon gallons of Mud Men's favorite drink, alcohol." At the mention of this Artemis, Butler, and Juliet all dropped there mouths. The other three were completely unphased, it was pretty obvious that they didn't have any idea what "alcohol" really was. "Whoever can get the most flags before dropping into the," Foaly had to hold back a small laugh, "water will be our winner. The man and woman with the least flags will be eliminated."

"That doesn't sound so hard," Opal said with a shrug. "Not at all like rigging a Science Fair, am I right Foaly?" The pixie had a strange fire in her eye that the others hadn't seen since the arctic incident.

"It wasn't rigged, I won and you know it." Opal opened her mouth to argue but was quickly restrained by Chix.

"Quiet pretty one," he whispered. "We don't want you to lose your head." Opal was silenced but kept staring at the centaur angrily. Foaly rolled his eyes and looked at the other reluctant contestants.

"We will now randomly draw the order in which you will go," he said as he pulled a hat from behind his back. "In this hat I have written all of your names. We will draw names to decide." The group stared dumbfounded at the centaur. Holly was the one to finally speak up.

"That is your amazing way of drawing names. A hat?"

"Why not?" Foaly said as he reached in to sort. Finally he pulled a name out. "Our first contestant is…" There was an annoying pause like they do on all reality TV shows. "Artemis Fowl."

"Great," Artemis whispered as he walked over to where Foaly was standing. He wasn't really walking though, more like sulking.

"Are there any last words you would like to say to your competitors?" Foaly asked in that TV host way. Artemis let a small smile creep across his face.

"One thing, better first than last." And as he walked off the realization dawned on everyone else.

"D'arvit!" Holly screamed.

After a short period of time that gets cut off by the TV network guys Artemis gets hung up on the shuttle. The other five watch and pass their own judgments.

"He's not going to do it." Holly said, her voice sounded almost hopeful.

"I give him ten seconds." Chix said confidently.

"I give you ten seconds." Holly snapped back at him. Chix shut up.

"Are you ready?" Foaly shouted. Everyone could see Artemis mouthing something at them. Butler pulled a pair of binoculars out and looked over, suddenly he was flinching.

"I think he's ready."

"What'd he say?" Juliet asked.

"You don't want to know."

"We're starting now!" Foaly shouted and waved a yellow flag. Almost instantly a storm started over the helicopter. Opal let an involuntary scream.

"You never said anything about rain!" She shouted at the centaur, and was having to be restrained by Chix at the same time.

"Oh well, hosts always get special privileges." Opal groaned and went back to watching the struggling boy.

Suddenly they all let out a scream as they saw him slip as the helicopter made a very terrifying dip. They also all flinched as they watched him hit his foot on a rock.

After another interesting reality show pause Artemis is standing back with everyone and with a towel around his shoulders. Across his face is a very angry groan. At this point Holly has disappeared as they interview the boy.

"So how is it up there?" Foaly asked.

"Right now I'm searching my mind for any underground assassin's I can find for you." He replied through gritted teeth. Foaly took a few steps away and turned to face Holly.

"Are you ready?" Holly gave a thumbs up and the timer started. After quite a few jerks and turns she finally fell doing a complete back plant on the water. A few minutes passed before her head ever resurfaced.

"I'm going to murder you Foaly!"

After the break you come back to realize Butler and Juliet have already gone (Me: I realize Fear Factor doesn't really do this, but I'm kind of pressed for time now and I want to get to the good stuff.)

"Our tally from right now is Artemis 7 flags, Holly 13, Butler 8, Juliet 9." Foaly said as he took a note in his notepad. "Now it is Chix Verbil's turn. Are you ready?" Chix gave a thumbs up and his time started. When he got his 5th flag Artemis began to realize he was in trouble.

"Hey Foaly, everything goes on this show, right?" Artemis asked. The centaur nodded, never taking his gaze from the helicopter. An evil smile crept across Artemis' face and he cupped his hands around his face. "Hey Chix, Holly just said she loved you!"

Chix dropped instantly. Artemis let an evil smile cross his face again and turned to the group. It was a mistake because at that moment he felt a hand connecting to his stomach. He looked up and saw a very happy Holly over him.

"Totally worth it."

When Chix returned to "his love" Foaly was happily prepared to give him his news. "Chix Verbil, you collected the least flags, I'm sorry to say you are the first down the walk of red hot coals."

"Don't you mean walk of shame?" Butler asked.

"No, I told you already, I get to make up certain rules."

The group watched in amazement as Chix took the walk of red hot coals. It was hard to not laugh. Finally they all turned to watch Opal compete.

A little bit of time passed and she was doing remarkably well, but the driver wasn't. The helicopter jerked around angrily and the girl was thrashed against the sides. Finally the thing that everyone, but Foaly that is, feared happened. The helicopter came crashing down.

"Well, Opal did not beat either of your scores and once the paramedics check if she is still breathing she will take the walk. You all are the lucky few to move on to the next level. I'll see you tomorrow."

And the four remaining contestants walk off leaving the burning rubble behind.