I Promise to be with you Always,
Even After I Die
Death,
Do you believe that when you die you go to a better place?
Or will I just disappear and I will never get to see you again.
Will I ever get the chance to glimpse your beaming face once more?
Hear you sweet voice calling my name.
I don't see the light,
All I can see is darkness.
The moon's light shone across the town with a pale golden light, illuminating everything it came into contact with. Dark clouds swarmed together, blocking the iridescent moon, the town falling into the darkness of the night. Dust swirled about the roads erasing any trace of movement that had happened that day. The wind rushed through the seeming to be deserted streets of the small town. By this time all the salons and shops were closed and the inhabitants had gone home. No sound was to be heard for miles. Only a small black cat roamed the dark alleys, trotting past the unlit houses. It stopped at a residence, where a small light shone out from the window. The cat's big green eyes examined the timber house, it's tiny ears twitched at the faint sound of muffled crying.
We were close once,
Always together in the violent or simple times.
Friends some will say,
But it was more to me.
I don't know when I will forget you,
Or if I ever will.
Time will heal the pain?
Ha, now all I have is time.
A fire ablaze lit the large room with a dim gray light. Shadows danced across the walls. There was a small table with a typewriter on it a great number of papers spread out around the typewriter A red coat was draped over one of the chairs and a two-person bed stood in the center of the room. Lying fast asleep on that bed was he. His crouched figure tossed and turned as if he were trapped in a horrible nightmare. I crossed the sleek wooden floor over to the bedside. I sat down next to the twisting man, his fists were clenched and his lips were moving as if he was trying desperately to yell out something. I placed my finger over his soft lips to still the soundless words. This man, he had endured so much. His life consisted of only pain and betrayal. The smile that had always played across his face, it had seemed so joyful and sincere. Only his eyes would ever let any of his true emotions show. Though even his eyes were part of the mask that concealed a story of pain and sorrow. Death and destruction had followed him wherever he had gone. He had watched others suffer and he had suffered greatly himself.
You stayed by my side,
Always encouraging me to do the right thing,
Maybe I should have listened to you.
The clouds have parted,
But a shade of mist still blocks my path.
At first it had been my duty to protect him. Now I know that it wasn't like that at all. I felt I had to do it. I couldn't just let him die; I didn't want to let him die. He wasn't just another target, another job that had to be carried out. He was, he was... I put out my cigarette; something I had always run to when things got too difficult. I turned so that I could face him. My hand brushed over his scarred skin. This was the price he had paid to help others. Why was his life like this? He was such a good man; he didn't deserve to suffer, as others should. He was always kind, to those who deserved it and to those who didn't. When I met him I knew that he was different. He had acted so kindly towards me. At first I thought that it was because of my profession, as a priest almost everyone came to me for guidance and was friendly towards me. Soon I found that he was like this to everyone. He had so much faith in people, something I could never have. I had grown up alone; I had never trusted anyone and in return expected no one to trust me. He was so optimistic about life, but unlike other people he was not ignorant. He knew that there was evil and suffering in the world. I could tell that he could see the horrible fate the human race would soon confront. Still he pretended that everything would turn out all right. This man could see things in people that no one else could. Even in me. I brushed his lustrous blond hair away from his face, his breathing slowed and he stopped twisting. He seemed so peaceful now, though he still had a depressed look on his face. As he slept tears trickled down his cheeks. Those tears were for me, but why? I didn't deserve them. The whole time I had been with him I had been lying. Only now do I realize what I did. I hadn't meant to hurt him but I had. I had said and done so many awful things to him. I wished I could take it all back, say and act how I should have before this had all happened. I brushed his tears away but more came. They fell in endless streams. I couldn't stay here any longer. I pulled myself off the bed and headed for the great oak door. "Wolfwood." The faint words came from his sweet lips. "Wolfwood. I love you Wolfwood." I could feel the tears burning in my eyes, threatening to burst out at any moment. "I love you too." The words sprang from my lips. I had always wanted to tell him that, though I had never had the courage. Always wondered if maybe he felt the same way as I did. I wish he could have heard me say those words I had longed to say. I wish I could of told him before this had all happened. Instead I had tried to conceal my true feelings. In doing so I had just hurt myself even more. I had acted so selfish, as always putting my work before my own feelings.
You were what kept me going,
Even though I wanted to give up.
You were my star,
Guiding me when I was lost.
You were the sun that shone over me,
There in the miserable or joyful times,
Never giving up on me.
I quietly shut the door and as I stepped into the fresh night air I felt the image of my body disintegrating. My life hadn't been too bad, if I hadn't of met him it would have been hell. I will always remember the first time I met him. He had seemed so carefree and innocent, as if he were just a little child. When I looked into those deep blue eyes of his I had felt like never turning away. It was then that I had begun to fall in love with him.
The world is clearer now,
I now know that I was wrong,
If only I had seen it sooner.
I stood there watching the sunrise over the horizon. The clouds were parting and the sky shone brightly in stream of red, blue and gold. "I don't want to leave you. I want to stay, stay with you forever." I yelled this, but again no one could hear my plea. "I promise to be with you always, even after I die. I will wait for you to come to me even if I must wait an eternity. I will wait for the day when we will be reunited again. Then maybe I will have the courage to tell you."
I lit my very last cigarette and took a long drag before my body disappeared into the morning air.
I am dieing,
Dieing to be with you again.