AN: Update? Oh. Yeah. I can do that. (Juggles plot-bunnies from nine other fandoms.)
Enjoy!
And for those of you who want Harry to live? He will. And then he'll die. And then, if you are all really nice and review, he'll live again. Savvy? You didn't think Sev would let Death keep his love, did you?
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Shadow Magic - Part Three, Carpe Diem
Gold eyes snapped open, the black lion instantly awake and alert in the centre of the clearing. There was no danger. Methodically he began scenting the shifting currents of magic that permeated the forest. One couldn't be too careful.
With his body awake so quickly, it took a while for the more human side of Harry's mind to catch up with it. What's happening? I never wake up that fast.
No. Spoilt lazy careless Gryfindor. Of course you don't.
'm not spoilt he retorted. His tail twitched. Something about his mental voice seemed 'off. Hey! You're not me.
Five points to Slytherin, Mr Potter, for such a stunningly astute observation. His own memories of the sorting hat accompanied the words, coloured by the older wizard's understanding and compassion.. Compassion? Does he care?
Kindly apply your limited intellect to recalling the events of the previous evening.
He remembered a slender figure running into him, flashing green-gold eyes, anger out of control and the spell binding them together. No. His memories not mine. Remembering was a struggle. Harry reverted to human form, allowing the full complexity of his emotions to crash into him. His animagus form had not felt them to nearly the same extent. He didn't want to. . . Do it Potter. Blood pouring down his sides and laughter ringing in his ears. Voldemort's scream matching his own . Death. Three days. His dorm mates sleeping peacefully, unlike him, unlike. . . loneliness-panic-anger. no don't make me feel real again, it hurts The spell he had cast, uncontrolled power, anger. Severus' own anger-shock-confusion he's not who I thought he was.
Harry's eyes closed, tears streaming down his face for every reason and none, as he concentrated on clearing his mind. Severus' thought echoed in his mind he cast this spell to hurt me and it worked. "Anger was less painful" he said quietly. "I'm sorry."
Another thought occurred to him, adding fear to remorse, and shaking his already tenuous hold on his emotions. Snape knew where he was, he could interfere with Harry's plans. Harry hoped he wouldn't. The fate of the world rested on his success, far more important that the life of one teenage boy. He knows that, doesn't he?
Far be it from me to stop you getting yourself killed, if that's what you want to do. Cruel words failed to conceal the underlying concern they were spoken with.
But you care. Harry relaxed, the tension finally draining from his body, leaving behind only steady calm, and determination. It's what I must do. What I will do. Whether or not I wish to do so is irrelevant. And it was true that -despite everything- the Boy-Who-Lived did not wish to die. He also didn't want to spend his last few days thinking about his impending demise. Since his death was unavoidable he would live what was left of his life as fiercely and joyfully as he could. Carpe Diem. And, he realised, he had an unexpected ally to share it with - sarcastic and bitter and stunningly clever, possessing a sense of humour -wicked in the most literal sense of the word- that would be a world of fun when directed at someone else.
I think I like you.
Don't be ridiculous Potter.
It's not ridiculous Harry pouted, not the least bit put out. I like you I like you I like you.
That fact might have disturbed him, given sufficient time to think about it, and their history together. But Harry had better things to do than think; he had the chance to get to know one of the most intricate and brilliant characters he'd ever met, and he wasn't going to waste it.
I rather think that proves my point don't you?
What point?
A trickle of humour. You are being ridiculous.
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A few hours later, Harry had sprawled himself out under a tree, still in human form, and Severus had a break in his schedule for a couple of hours.
The professor was thinking about contrasts, and Harry and himself.
He wasn't a Dark wizard, nor yet a Light one. He was both, standing on the borderline between Good and Evil, and trusted by neither for his power to use either side at will. Neither Dark mark nor the grim reality of his life as a spy had helped matters any.
Harry was . . . oddly optimistic, for one so cynical, convinced of the inevitability of his own death. And mischievous. And frequently misjudged just as badly as Severus.
And yes, it felt nice to be liked, to have someone who could meet his eyes without seeing some imaginary monster.
Forgiveness felt strange.
When had Harry worked out that once you have done all you can, you need not accept the guilt of not having done more than that? It is not failure to succeed you will be condemned for, but failure to try.
Happiness felt strange too.
Not for long. I won't let it. A ripple of cheerful, cunning amusement flashed along their bond. The mental equivalent of puppy-dog eyes followed. Can we, please? With your reputation....
Black eyes glinted in anticipation, not less terrible, but less dark at least than usual.
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"Carmen Opticallus" Harry whispered quickly. "There, look now."
Severus studied his reflection in the mirror suspiciously. His pupils were still black, but his once matching irises were now twin rings of brilliant ruby red, darkening to black again on the outside. "I look. . .demonic." A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, not quite daring to appear on his face. Though with delicately pointed teeth, it wouldn't have harmed his image. "This could be fun."
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Darklady Erisa