From Our Past
Chapter 1 Dark Memories
Natai slowly climbed the stairs to her apartment on the 3rd floor. Her heart ached with a sadness and a yearning she could hardly contain lately. Why did he effect her this way? It made no sense but still after almost 150 years she still had a hard time controling her emotions when in his presence. Those damn emotions that she had been cursed with would be her death for sure if she didn't get control. Again he made his desire for her to stay and move back very clear. He insisted that her behavior was not necessary and that his feelings had not changed. Perhaps not but the way he treated her had and that is why she left his home to live on her own. It was not like she didn't have the money to live alone nor did she need his to support her. Even if he had at one time been more then just her employer he had always been generous with payment for all the assignments she did for him.
Slowly she opened the door to the hall that led to her apartment and listened. To her relief there wasn't one sound. It seemed all the neighbors were asleep. 'Of course they are silly. It is well past 1 a.m. and most have a life during the day.' She scolded her self but then there were others who also worked for the clan that lived in the apartment complex too. Those were really the ones she wished to avoid the most. Accept maybe Kouga above her. He was at least pleasant to be around. With a tired sigh she stepped into the gloomy hall and walked to her apartment door. Hesitantly she turned the key in the lock thinking that it wasn't too late to go back. Just for tonight. An angry frown crossed her lips as she forced her heart to let go of such feelings and stepped over the threshold. As if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders she let the breath out of her lungs that she had been holding.
Tears began to fill her eyes as she leaned against the closed door and slid down it to a setting position with her knees pulled up to her chest. She sobbed quietly lost with in her own heart ache wondering why it was like this every time. Why was it so hard to walk across that entry into the home she chose after one of his meeings with her. If the truth be known it had become easier but still the same old heart ache filled her each time. A knock on the door brought her back to her senses. A familiar voice spoke softly from the other side.
"Natai?" She didn't answer him thinking that perhaps he would go away. But he had always been stuborn and hard to fool. "I know you are there open the door and tell me what happened." His soft gently voice coaxed from outside the door. She hung her head as she stood and opened the door. Like a robot she turned and walked into the dark living room to sit on the couch. She heard the lock click on the door and the sound of his footsteps as they went into the kitchen. Once again he would spend the rest of the night with her sympathizing and offering comfort but only to a degree. He never stepped over the line or tried to take advantage of her weakened heart. Perhaps that is why she allowed him closer contact then most others.
Her muscles seemed stiff as she sat at the end of the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest again. With a heavy sigh she laid her head back and closed her eyes to think. The darkness of the room helped to hide her tear stained face but it didn't matter. Kouga always seemed to know when she was suffering inside. He came into the room and sat on the couch by her feet. He handed her a glass of liquid then started removing her shoes.
"You shouldn't wear your shoes on the couch they can ruin it." He said casually but she could see the smirk on his lips in the very dim light.
"I know mom but I can just buy another one." She smiled then took a drink from the glass which she found to be ice water. He smiled back at her and shook his head while he massaged her feet and ankles. The feeling was very enticing but she knew he didn't mean it in any other way accept as a concerned friend. More by her choice then his but she allowed him to remain close due to the fact he was the only one she could confide in.
"So you gonna tell me what happened or do I have to wring it out of your pretty little neck." He moved her legs off the couch and slid closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder. As casual as if he lived there he kicked his own shoes off and put his feet up on the coffee table to relax. One arm around her back and the other around her front he pulled her into a secure hug as he waited for her to start telling him what was wrong.
"Pretty? You need glasses my friend." She snorted. "Nothing happened just a bad night is all." She leaned forward and placed the glass on the coffee table so she could relax better.
"Right and I am the Easter Bunny. You know you can't hide the fact that you've been crying."
"How would you know?" She pushed his hand away that was getting closer to her face to check for tears.
"I heard you sobbing at the door. Now you gonna tell me or do I have to force it out of you?" She chuckled at the thought of the two of them getting into a wrestling match but lost the humor as the memories of her encounter came to mind. "Natai, I know you went to see him. It isn't a big secret that he called you in. He is trying to get you back in his house again isn't he?" She could hear the disgust in his voice.
"Nothing unusual in that. He has been trying since I moved. Doesn't change things at all." She tried to make it sound confident but the reality of what transpired was haunting her heart even as they spoke.
Flashback
"Good to see you Natai." Kagura sneered at her as she opened the door. "I see you have changed your taste in clothes. Getting a little more into the gothic slut look lately. Different I guess but won't change things. It won't change his f---" She stopped in mid sentence as a familiar male voice came from the office.
"Stop it now Kagura. Natai come here." His voice was just as cold as the day she left. Her heart wrenched just hearing it. Calmly she slipped past the raven haired woman and walked quickly to Naraku's office. "Close the door would you?" He asked without looking up from the papers on his desk. Just as it was about to click it was pushed open again and Kagura rudely entered almost knocking Natai down but she recovered gracefully and scowled at the pale woman. "Leave Kagura, I wish to speak to Natai alone." Kagura opened her mouth to say something but Naraku pointed at the door. "LEAVE NOW! I WILL DEAL WITH YOU LATER!" The fire in his eyes was enough to burn a hole through metal. Kagura bowed then scowled at Natai before she closed the door. "Lock it!" He instructed as he stood up from his desk and walked around it.
Natai did as he requested then stood at the door just looking at him with an unruffled expression. She may have seemed calm on the outside but her heart was beating out of control. He motioned for her to take a seat on the couch to one side. She did this as he began to mix two drinks at his mini bar. He joined her shortly and handed both to her to hold while he slipped his jacket off and loosened the collar of his shirt. Natai watched him with guarded eyes knowing her heart could fail her at any moment. He was not unattractive in her eyes. In fact he was quite handsome with long wavey black hair that hung below his waist and a body that many men can only dream of. His handsome face was stern but could show gentleness when he applied himself and a smile that could melt the coldest hearts but his soul had become tainted with his increasing desire for power. It seemed his only goal was power and he had no room for her anymore in his life. That is why his continued effort to get her back into his house bewildered her. He was incapable of love so why did he desire her presence so much?
She was brought back to reality as he took one of the drinks from her hand and sipped it. He sat on the couch next to her and placed a hand on her leg. She tensed instantly and regretted it the minute it happened. He looked at her with inquisitive eyes that studied every inch of her face for a reaction. She was able to return his gaze casually trying to brush off the incident with a small smile but he narrowed his eyes and leaned closer. She wanted to slide away from him as he got closer but then another part of her wanted to lean toward him and welcomed his embrace. His nose was an inch from hers when she finally broke eye contact and lowered them from his piercing gaze. She moved her face to one side and closed her eyes trying desperately to regain her emotions but a fleeting tear escaped the corner of her eye and slide down her face betraying her inner conflict.
The warmth of his lips on her cheek as he kissed her tear away only caused more to flow unwillingly from her eyes as her emotional barriar crumbled. He hesitated for a moment with a smirk on his face then proceded to kiss her on the lips. Her body so desperately wanted to melt into that kiss and forgive him for what ever had gone wrong but her self worth would not allow her to respond. Suddenly she pushed him away as she stood and walked over to the window to regain her composure. Stubbornly she wiped the rest of her tears away before she spoke to him.
"What do you want Naraku?" She felt her voice shake.
"The same thing that I have always wanted." He chuckled, "You! Why do you insist on playing this game Natai? I know you want to be with me when I touch you. Why do you stay away when you really want to be here? I want you here. I am the only one who could ever accept you as you are. You should know that by now." He cooed from behind her as he walked closer. Her tears still fell silently as she stared out the window at the city below. His arms snaked around her slender waist to pull her closer to his chest. He brushed his lips softly against the skin of her neck.
"There is no place for me here anymore. I will continue to serve you as I have except not in your bed." She stated profoundly. "Did you have another assignment or was my pay all I needed to get here?" She tried to sound angry but knew it sounded week and more like a whine as she pulled out of his embrace.
"There has always been a 'place' here for you. That never changed. You are the one who chose to leave. Kagura can make a room for you all to yourself if you wish then you can move back...." He didn't finish as she made a 'Hmf' sound and lowered her head.
"Kagura? Would she really do that for me? I think not unless she could slip a viper in my bedsheets. That bitch has no com....." She was suddenly grabbed by the arm and slapped hard across the face. She could feel the blood from her split lip but glared at him with pure anger in her eyes.
"Remember one thing Natai, never speak badly about your betters in front of me. You are nothing but what I have made you. Never forget that. You belong to me and always will. I took pitty on you and brought you into my home to live with me as my ward when you would have been nothing more then a whore. I gave you all you have and educated you. You are nothing with out me. Who could love a face like that?" He grabbed her hair on the back of her head and pulled her to where the mirror was behind the small bar. "LOOK AT THAT FACE AND TELL ME! WHO COULD POSSIBLY LOVE THE FACE OF A WHORE?" He shook her head slightly to accent the pain that was now showing on her face. Tears of frustration ran freely down her face. He then pulled her head with in half inch of his mouth so he could speak into her ear as he sneered. "No one!" He hissed then threw her to the ground. He stomped to his desk and picked up a brown envelope which he tossed on the floor in front of her. "There is your pay and your next assignment. Think hard about what I have told you. My patience is running out and I plan on having what is mine! LEAVE!" He spit out hotly.
Slowly she climbed back to her feet with the folder clutched to her chest. Emotionally drained she stumbled to the door to leave. She turned to look at him with the same broken heart look from the day she left, "And you wonder why?" She mumbled as she slipped out the door forcing herself not to run. The last thing she heard was him slamming his fist down on his desk in angish.
End of Flashback
"So are you going to speak up or do I get to torture you mwhahahaha." Kouga teased. His voice brought her back to life. She smiled inwardly then looked up into his face and sighed. 'Could he love me?' The thought slipped across her mind and out again as quickly as it came. 'NO ONE!' echoed in her head like a becon. An involuntary shutter ran through her body and she began to sob uncontrolably again. 'NO ONE!' kept running through her mind. Like on que Kouga hugged her tighter and began to stroke her cheek with his fingers while making shushing sounds to calm her. He let her cry it out for a while before asking her again. "You can tell me what happened you know. I won't say a word." He tried to coax her into talking.
"Nothing new just same old crap. It is all my fault and he will have what is his. He told me to think about it or else. I am so tired Kouga. I need something or someone.... I...I....don't know what." She slipped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her to his lap.
"Well you have a good friend here to listen. I know it isn't much but I am here as long as you want." He rubbed her back for a minute then picked her up bridal style as he stood and walked into her bedroom. There he helped her take her jacket and skirt off before laying her on the bed and pulling the top quilt over her. "You need to sleep. I can come back in the morning to check on you." He smiled but she clutched his hand as if her life depended on it.
"Don't leave." She whispered bearly loud enough for him to hear. He sighed and cocked his head to one side looking at her. Then shaking his head he sat down on the bed and slid under the covers so she could rest her head on his shoulder.
"You are getting pathetic." He scoffed at her.
"I passed pathetic a long time ago." She sniffed back at him. They both chuckled a bit but it lightened the mood and they fell asleep more easily.
Chapter 1 Dark Memories
Natai slowly climbed the stairs to her apartment on the 3rd floor. Her heart ached with a sadness and a yearning she could hardly contain lately. Why did he effect her this way? It made no sense but still after almost 150 years she still had a hard time controling her emotions when in his presence. Those damn emotions that she had been cursed with would be her death for sure if she didn't get control. Again he made his desire for her to stay and move back very clear. He insisted that her behavior was not necessary and that his feelings had not changed. Perhaps not but the way he treated her had and that is why she left his home to live on her own. It was not like she didn't have the money to live alone nor did she need his to support her. Even if he had at one time been more then just her employer he had always been generous with payment for all the assignments she did for him.
Slowly she opened the door to the hall that led to her apartment and listened. To her relief there wasn't one sound. It seemed all the neighbors were asleep. 'Of course they are silly. It is well past 1 a.m. and most have a life during the day.' She scolded her self but then there were others who also worked for the clan that lived in the apartment complex too. Those were really the ones she wished to avoid the most. Accept maybe Kouga above her. He was at least pleasant to be around. With a tired sigh she stepped into the gloomy hall and walked to her apartment door. Hesitantly she turned the key in the lock thinking that it wasn't too late to go back. Just for tonight. An angry frown crossed her lips as she forced her heart to let go of such feelings and stepped over the threshold. As if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders she let the breath out of her lungs that she had been holding.
Tears began to fill her eyes as she leaned against the closed door and slid down it to a setting position with her knees pulled up to her chest. She sobbed quietly lost with in her own heart ache wondering why it was like this every time. Why was it so hard to walk across that entry into the home she chose after one of his meeings with her. If the truth be known it had become easier but still the same old heart ache filled her each time. A knock on the door brought her back to her senses. A familiar voice spoke softly from the other side.
"Natai?" She didn't answer him thinking that perhaps he would go away. But he had always been stuborn and hard to fool. "I know you are there open the door and tell me what happened." His soft gently voice coaxed from outside the door. She hung her head as she stood and opened the door. Like a robot she turned and walked into the dark living room to sit on the couch. She heard the lock click on the door and the sound of his footsteps as they went into the kitchen. Once again he would spend the rest of the night with her sympathizing and offering comfort but only to a degree. He never stepped over the line or tried to take advantage of her weakened heart. Perhaps that is why she allowed him closer contact then most others.
Her muscles seemed stiff as she sat at the end of the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest again. With a heavy sigh she laid her head back and closed her eyes to think. The darkness of the room helped to hide her tear stained face but it didn't matter. Kouga always seemed to know when she was suffering inside. He came into the room and sat on the couch by her feet. He handed her a glass of liquid then started removing her shoes.
"You shouldn't wear your shoes on the couch they can ruin it." He said casually but she could see the smirk on his lips in the very dim light.
"I know mom but I can just buy another one." She smiled then took a drink from the glass which she found to be ice water. He smiled back at her and shook his head while he massaged her feet and ankles. The feeling was very enticing but she knew he didn't mean it in any other way accept as a concerned friend. More by her choice then his but she allowed him to remain close due to the fact he was the only one she could confide in.
"So you gonna tell me what happened or do I have to wring it out of your pretty little neck." He moved her legs off the couch and slid closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder. As casual as if he lived there he kicked his own shoes off and put his feet up on the coffee table to relax. One arm around her back and the other around her front he pulled her into a secure hug as he waited for her to start telling him what was wrong.
"Pretty? You need glasses my friend." She snorted. "Nothing happened just a bad night is all." She leaned forward and placed the glass on the coffee table so she could relax better.
"Right and I am the Easter Bunny. You know you can't hide the fact that you've been crying."
"How would you know?" She pushed his hand away that was getting closer to her face to check for tears.
"I heard you sobbing at the door. Now you gonna tell me or do I have to force it out of you?" She chuckled at the thought of the two of them getting into a wrestling match but lost the humor as the memories of her encounter came to mind. "Natai, I know you went to see him. It isn't a big secret that he called you in. He is trying to get you back in his house again isn't he?" She could hear the disgust in his voice.
"Nothing unusual in that. He has been trying since I moved. Doesn't change things at all." She tried to make it sound confident but the reality of what transpired was haunting her heart even as they spoke.
Flashback
"Good to see you Natai." Kagura sneered at her as she opened the door. "I see you have changed your taste in clothes. Getting a little more into the gothic slut look lately. Different I guess but won't change things. It won't change his f---" She stopped in mid sentence as a familiar male voice came from the office.
"Stop it now Kagura. Natai come here." His voice was just as cold as the day she left. Her heart wrenched just hearing it. Calmly she slipped past the raven haired woman and walked quickly to Naraku's office. "Close the door would you?" He asked without looking up from the papers on his desk. Just as it was about to click it was pushed open again and Kagura rudely entered almost knocking Natai down but she recovered gracefully and scowled at the pale woman. "Leave Kagura, I wish to speak to Natai alone." Kagura opened her mouth to say something but Naraku pointed at the door. "LEAVE NOW! I WILL DEAL WITH YOU LATER!" The fire in his eyes was enough to burn a hole through metal. Kagura bowed then scowled at Natai before she closed the door. "Lock it!" He instructed as he stood up from his desk and walked around it.
Natai did as he requested then stood at the door just looking at him with an unruffled expression. She may have seemed calm on the outside but her heart was beating out of control. He motioned for her to take a seat on the couch to one side. She did this as he began to mix two drinks at his mini bar. He joined her shortly and handed both to her to hold while he slipped his jacket off and loosened the collar of his shirt. Natai watched him with guarded eyes knowing her heart could fail her at any moment. He was not unattractive in her eyes. In fact he was quite handsome with long wavey black hair that hung below his waist and a body that many men can only dream of. His handsome face was stern but could show gentleness when he applied himself and a smile that could melt the coldest hearts but his soul had become tainted with his increasing desire for power. It seemed his only goal was power and he had no room for her anymore in his life. That is why his continued effort to get her back into his house bewildered her. He was incapable of love so why did he desire her presence so much?
She was brought back to reality as he took one of the drinks from her hand and sipped it. He sat on the couch next to her and placed a hand on her leg. She tensed instantly and regretted it the minute it happened. He looked at her with inquisitive eyes that studied every inch of her face for a reaction. She was able to return his gaze casually trying to brush off the incident with a small smile but he narrowed his eyes and leaned closer. She wanted to slide away from him as he got closer but then another part of her wanted to lean toward him and welcomed his embrace. His nose was an inch from hers when she finally broke eye contact and lowered them from his piercing gaze. She moved her face to one side and closed her eyes trying desperately to regain her emotions but a fleeting tear escaped the corner of her eye and slide down her face betraying her inner conflict.
The warmth of his lips on her cheek as he kissed her tear away only caused more to flow unwillingly from her eyes as her emotional barriar crumbled. He hesitated for a moment with a smirk on his face then proceded to kiss her on the lips. Her body so desperately wanted to melt into that kiss and forgive him for what ever had gone wrong but her self worth would not allow her to respond. Suddenly she pushed him away as she stood and walked over to the window to regain her composure. Stubbornly she wiped the rest of her tears away before she spoke to him.
"What do you want Naraku?" She felt her voice shake.
"The same thing that I have always wanted." He chuckled, "You! Why do you insist on playing this game Natai? I know you want to be with me when I touch you. Why do you stay away when you really want to be here? I want you here. I am the only one who could ever accept you as you are. You should know that by now." He cooed from behind her as he walked closer. Her tears still fell silently as she stared out the window at the city below. His arms snaked around her slender waist to pull her closer to his chest. He brushed his lips softly against the skin of her neck.
"There is no place for me here anymore. I will continue to serve you as I have except not in your bed." She stated profoundly. "Did you have another assignment or was my pay all I needed to get here?" She tried to sound angry but knew it sounded week and more like a whine as she pulled out of his embrace.
"There has always been a 'place' here for you. That never changed. You are the one who chose to leave. Kagura can make a room for you all to yourself if you wish then you can move back...." He didn't finish as she made a 'Hmf' sound and lowered her head.
"Kagura? Would she really do that for me? I think not unless she could slip a viper in my bedsheets. That bitch has no com....." She was suddenly grabbed by the arm and slapped hard across the face. She could feel the blood from her split lip but glared at him with pure anger in her eyes.
"Remember one thing Natai, never speak badly about your betters in front of me. You are nothing but what I have made you. Never forget that. You belong to me and always will. I took pitty on you and brought you into my home to live with me as my ward when you would have been nothing more then a whore. I gave you all you have and educated you. You are nothing with out me. Who could love a face like that?" He grabbed her hair on the back of her head and pulled her to where the mirror was behind the small bar. "LOOK AT THAT FACE AND TELL ME! WHO COULD POSSIBLY LOVE THE FACE OF A WHORE?" He shook her head slightly to accent the pain that was now showing on her face. Tears of frustration ran freely down her face. He then pulled her head with in half inch of his mouth so he could speak into her ear as he sneered. "No one!" He hissed then threw her to the ground. He stomped to his desk and picked up a brown envelope which he tossed on the floor in front of her. "There is your pay and your next assignment. Think hard about what I have told you. My patience is running out and I plan on having what is mine! LEAVE!" He spit out hotly.
Slowly she climbed back to her feet with the folder clutched to her chest. Emotionally drained she stumbled to the door to leave. She turned to look at him with the same broken heart look from the day she left, "And you wonder why?" She mumbled as she slipped out the door forcing herself not to run. The last thing she heard was him slamming his fist down on his desk in angish.
End of Flashback
"So are you going to speak up or do I get to torture you mwhahahaha." Kouga teased. His voice brought her back to life. She smiled inwardly then looked up into his face and sighed. 'Could he love me?' The thought slipped across her mind and out again as quickly as it came. 'NO ONE!' echoed in her head like a becon. An involuntary shutter ran through her body and she began to sob uncontrolably again. 'NO ONE!' kept running through her mind. Like on que Kouga hugged her tighter and began to stroke her cheek with his fingers while making shushing sounds to calm her. He let her cry it out for a while before asking her again. "You can tell me what happened you know. I won't say a word." He tried to coax her into talking.
"Nothing new just same old crap. It is all my fault and he will have what is his. He told me to think about it or else. I am so tired Kouga. I need something or someone.... I...I....don't know what." She slipped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her to his lap.
"Well you have a good friend here to listen. I know it isn't much but I am here as long as you want." He rubbed her back for a minute then picked her up bridal style as he stood and walked into her bedroom. There he helped her take her jacket and skirt off before laying her on the bed and pulling the top quilt over her. "You need to sleep. I can come back in the morning to check on you." He smiled but she clutched his hand as if her life depended on it.
"Don't leave." She whispered bearly loud enough for him to hear. He sighed and cocked his head to one side looking at her. Then shaking his head he sat down on the bed and slid under the covers so she could rest her head on his shoulder.
"You are getting pathetic." He scoffed at her.
"I passed pathetic a long time ago." She sniffed back at him. They both chuckled a bit but it lightened the mood and they fell asleep more easily.