Part 27: A Journey of Separate Hearts – Helplessness
Spoiler to part 27: Capital Crimes aka: Mystery (episode 7.12), Adrift II (episode 7.01) and Psychic Warrior (episode 5.06)
AN to part 27: Thank you, thank you, thank you…shall I go on like this? ;) Honestly, thank you for all the reviews I'm getting from you…thank you starryeyes10, my.evian ('g' do you like evian??), Dreamer20715 (I hope you stay with me to the end), maidenpride21 (No, I haven't read your story yet, but I'll do that now…btw I like Bon Jovi, too) and all the other people giving me feedback. Thank you very much.
February 16th 2003, Sunday
0655 Zulu (01:55 hrs EST)
JAG HQ
Falls Church, VA.
It had been nine, long, strenuous hours since Harm and Mac had left Paris in a hurry and much earlier than planned. After arriving at Dulles International Airport, they had wasted no time – they took just the first cab that was available and headed straight to JAG Headquarters. Although both were exhausted, Harm and Mac were anxious to know why the Admiral had ordered them back before their vacation was over. Mac knew that something really bad or of immense importance had to have happened while they were away from Washington, or Admiral Chegwidden wouldn't have cancelled their leave.
When the cab was stopped by the marine guard on duty, Harm and Mac showed their JAG identity cards and Harm greeted the guard, "Good morning Sergeant Miller."
"Good morning, Commander Rabb…Colonel MacKenzie. Admiral Chegwidden told me to tell you that he's waiting for you in his office."
"Thank you, Sergeant."
Sergeant Miller saluted and let the cab pass. It stopped in front of the building and Mac paid the driver.
Meanwhile, Harm unloaded their suitcases from the cab's trunk. Since they hadn't taken the time to stop by their apartments, Mac and Harm entered JAG Headquarters fully laden with their luggage.
The elevator's doors slid open and a nearly dark bullpen greeted them. Only one single desk lamp was on. Leaving their luggage in their offices, they went straight to the Admiral's office.
Harm knocked and when a tired "Enter" was heard, he opened the door and both of them walked into the room.
They came to attention in front of Admiral Chegwidden's desk and Harm said, "Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie reporting as ordered, Sir."
February 16th 2003, Sunday
0715 Zulu (02:15 hrs EST)
Inside Admiral Chegwidden's office
JAG HQ
Falls Church, VA.
"At ease. Commander, Colonel, take a seat."
The tired sounding "Enter" that Harm and Mac had heard before walking into the room matched Admiral Chegwidden's state. He looked exhausted. Deep, dark circles had built up under his eyes and his unshaved face displayed lack of sleep. As his eyes watched them closely, Mac realized that their normal penetrating gaze had been replaced by deep, personal worry. By this, Mac knew that something terrible had happened to someone close – someone in their JAG-family.
Just then, Harm and Mac turned around and spotted the slumped figure of Lieutenant Bud Roberts standing next to the fireplace. He seemed fragile, nearly broken. When Bud turned to his mentors and friends, a pair of tired eyes met Harm and Mac's. Both were shocked to see fear and helplessness written on Bud's face.
"Harm, Mac…something terrible has happened…" The use of their first names and the soft tone in the Admiral's voice made it clear that not Admiral Chegwidden – their CO – but Harm and Mac's long time friend and father figure, AJ Chegwidden, was speaking.
Desperately wanting to hear more, they looked at AJ and waited for him to go on.
"Two days ago, on Friday the 14th, Harriet and little AJ should have arrived at the Roberts' house at 1600. Harriet had told Bud that she would pick little AJ up from day care at 1500 and afterwards she wanted to run some errands. Bud called her on her cell phone around 1530 because he wanted her to remember to pick up his clean uniform from the dry cleaner's, but couldn't reach her. He first left a message on her voice mail asking her to return his call. But two hours later, he tried it her cell phone again and even called at home, but she wasn't there either and he left a message on the answering machine. Just thinking that Harriet had met an old friend and got carried away by chatting about family and friends, he let it go and went home around 1800. To his surprise, Harriet hadn't come home in the meantime. So he looked for a note telling him where she and little AJ might have gone. But there was nothing and again her cell phone was turned off. He called all their neighbors, friends, even his dad, Mikey and Harriet's parents…but again, nothing. Two hours later, he called the police and reported his wife and son missing. They told him that they weren't able to start a search until both had been missing for twenty-four hours. He went to the police station anyway and took them current photos of AJ and Harriet and told them where they should search first: AJ's day care, the dry cleaner's etc. Afterwards he informed me. Since then, we've started our own search, but so far we have nothing. The police started its search early yesterday, too. What we know is, that Harriet had indeed picked up AJ at 1500 and the owner of the dry cleaner's remembered Harriet getting Bud's uniform at 1520. The police found out the exact time with the help of the tape from the shop's security camera. After that, she hasn't been seen anywhere – not at the mall nor around the Roberts' neighborhood."
Harm and Mac had listened to the Admiral in shock. This couldn't be real…Harriet – their sweet, happy friend and the loving mother of their beloved godchild – and little AJ couldn't have been missing for nearly 36 hours. Couldn't Harm and Mac's life ever be just normal without kidnappings and missing friends? Couldn't life ever be just a bit easier than the last few months? It seemed that wouldn't be the case…ever.
Harm was the first one to find his voice and asked, "Has there been any kind of ransom note extorting money or anything else from you, Bud?"
It was the first time anybody had asked Bud anything. He had been too lost in his own world of fear for his pregnant wife and his firstborn. Nevertheless, he put all his hope in his two best friends and little AJ's godparents. He looked up and responded – his voice a weak whisper, "No, Sir. No letter, no call…nothing."
Bud sighed deeply and walked slowly over to the third chair in front of the desk.
"Have you checked up Harriet's cell phone call list? This way we would know who had been the last person was who talked to her. Maybe Harriet told that person something helpful…" Mac suggested, reality finally sinking in.
"Already done, Colonel. The last person Harriet talked to was her mother at 1450, just before picking up little AJ. Mrs. Simms told us that she had called her daughter, letting Harriet know that she and Harriet's father were going to stop by for a short visit next week and asked if that would be ok with Harriet and Bud. According to Bud's mother in law, Harriet sounded normal and happily looked forward to the visit…"
Frustrated, Mac's CO took off his reading glasses and threw them onto some files lying in the center of his bureau desk.
Harm and Mac vigorously fought their frustration, anger and worry trying to keep their rational investigating skills working.
Mac walked over to Bud trying to give him new hope.
"Bud, it's going to be fine. We'll find her, and Harriet and AJ will be all right. I promise you, neither the Admiral, Harm nor I will give up until they are both back safe and secure in your arms."
Bud slowly looked at her. "How can you be that optimistic, Ma'am? I…I'm so scared…and I lost nearly all hope during those empty hours without a sign from Harriet and AJ…I can't…lose them…I can't live without them…"
"I know, Bud, and we won't let that happen to you. Have faith in us – we are a family, Bud. We won't give up. Not now – not never!"
A glimpse of trust in her words appeared in Bud's eyes and he smiled bravely.
"What can we do to help?" Harm asked his CO and friend.
"Well, I ordered you back mainly because of Mac's special ability…"
Mac and Harm looked at their CO confused.
"…I speak of your 'supernatural mental' ability. Your so-called 'visions'. The kind of visions, which helped you to find Chloe in the woods and Harm in the Atlantic Ocean and those visions that helped you to solve the case of that murdered female Naval officer."
Speechless and stunned, Mac and Harm stared at the Admiral.
"Did I hear you correctly, Sir? You want me to use my 'visions' to find Harriet and AJ? That's your plan, Sir? With all due respect, Sir, but I don't think…"
"I know, Colonel. It's a long shot, unusual and the chances of success are low. BUT, Mac, it's worth a try. We have nothing to lose and we'll go on with our conventional search. Bud suggested it and at first I dismissed the possibility, but now I'm at the end of my ideas and I'm up for anything else that can bring some light to this."
"Sir, I don't think I can be of much help. I mean, I can't control it, neither can I just 'switch on' my visions…I mean…Sir, I really want to help, but I don't think I can…"
Mac still had a skeptical expression on her face when Harm spoke to her, "Look, Mac. Two years ago I probably would have reacted the same way as you are now. Probably worse than you – I would have just laughed about such a strange suggestion. But thanks to you, I was found in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean during a terrible storm. I don't know if it was visions or telepathy or anything else. But what I do know is, that you found Chloe, that naval officer and her killer, and me with this kind of ability. So, just give it a try, will you?"
Mac looked between Harm, AJ and Bud undecided. Then let out a deep sigh and smiled at Harm.
"Of course, I'll try it."
"Thank you, Ma'am. That means a lot to me…" Bud smiled softly and Mac took his right hand and squeezed it lightly.
"It will be ok, Bud. I'll do whatever I can and we'll bring them home. Do you hear me, Lieutenant? We will FIND them."
"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you – both of you for coming so quickly. I apologize for interrupting your vacation…I'm sor…"
Harm shook his head in disbelief and stated, "Bud, don't worry about that. There's absolutely no need for you to be sorry. You, Harriet, your unborn child and AJ belong to our family and Mac and I would do anything for you. So drop that stupid thought right now! Caring for you and helping wherever we can goes without saying – it's what we want to do. So stop worrying about that! Understood?"
"Yes, Sir. Thank you for reminding me!"
"Anytime, Bud," said Harm smiling.
It was then that Mac couldn't hide a yawn, showing how badly she needed some hours of sleep.
"Colonel, Commander, I forgot about how long the flight must have been. You two had better go home and get some sleep. We'll meet again at 0730 here in my office."
Mac started to contradict the Admiral, wanting to say that she didn't need sleep, that she'd rather try to find Harriet and AJ, than do anything other than be alone in her apartment trying to sleep.
But AJ stopped her with his left hand raised before she could formulate any of her thoughts out loud.
"Colonel, you'll need to be fully awake and in the best state of mind when you try to get your 'mental' ability to work for the best possible result. So go home and rest. Or shall I make it an order?"
"No, Sir."
"All right. See you again at 0730. Dismissed."
Harm and Mac again came to attention, turned on their heels, gave Bud a supportive clap on his shoulder and left the office.
When the elevator arrived, Mac and Harm stepped in with their luggage and leaned heavily against one of the elevator walls.
For a moment it was absolutely quiet until Harm heard a suppressed sob from Mac. He turned his head to see her face and what he saw tore at his heart. His usually strong Marine was crying softly, desperately trying to hide the tears and her feelings.
Mac hated it when she lost control. She had tried hard to hold her emotions at bay and had succeeded in the Admiral's office. But now her own fear, hopelessness, exhaustion and anger had made their way to the surface and it was impossible for Mac to hide them any longer.
Harm didn't say anything. Words couldn't soothe away what she was feeling now, but hopefully his nearness could. So, he just stepped closer and enveloped her shuddering body in his strong arms. He just held her until the elevator stopped and its doors opened. Mac's eyes locked with Harm's, gratefulness for him being with her and the need for him to hold her during the night clearly visible.
Harm understood and nodded, "I'll stay with you, if you want me to. I'm not leaving you…"
She hugged him one more time before grabbing her suitcases and stepping out of the elevator.
"Let's go home, Harm."
"Yeah, let's go home. We'll figure something out and we'll find them!"
"Yeah, we will…"
Outside the building and standing next to a black SUV, waited Sergeant Miller and another marine. When Harm and Mac stepped out of JAG Headquarters, they came to attention and Miller spoke, "Admiral Chegwidden ordered me to find someone driving you to your apartments, Ma'am, Sir! This is Corporal Sanders. He'll be your driver. Let me help you with the luggage, Ma'am!"
"Thank you, Sergeant."
Mac nodded to Sanders, "We really could use a lift. So, thank you, Corporal."
"That's why I'm here, Colonel. So where to go first?" asked Sanders.
"You just need to drive to my apartment in Georgetown. The Commander will stay there for a while, too. We need to discuss something before he goes on to his apartment."
For sure, Mac had lied to Corporal Sanders, but there was no need to tell Sanders anything more. He would only jump to the wrong conclusions.
"Understood, Ma'am."
February 16th 2003, Sunday
0855 Zulu (03:55 hrs EST)
Apartment "The Washington 2812"
Georgetown, Washington D.C.
They arrived at Mac's apartment, thanked the corporal for his help and headed upstairs.
Both took a quick shower, changed into comfortable sleep clothes and headed for Mac's bedroom.
When they both lay under the warm sheets, Harm pulled Mac as close as possible.
They just cuddled and enjoyed the comfort of each other's warmth.
Harm raised his head from his pillow to give Mac a soft, light kiss on her lips. Then he leaned back and whispered, "It will be all right. Let go and cry if you want. I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere."
"Thank you," Mac sighed, "…I'm here for you, too. You don't have to be strong for me. Harriet and AJ are as close to you as they are to me…"
A few tears made their way down Harm's face. He wanted, no, needed to do something – needed to bring Harriet and AJ back to Bud. But at the moment, he felt as helpless as everyone else did.
Mac brushed the tears away with her right hand and whispered, "Love ya, Harm."
"I love you, too."
With their vows of love for each other spoken, Harm and Mac fell into a restless sleep.