Chapter one
Disclaimer:I dont own any of these cool characters.sigh.
And sorry about the rubbish formatting etc.
This is set during the Fellowship of the Ring when Frodo has met up with Merry and PIppin.
Frodo's mobile phone rang. It was Morpheus.'Frodo,you'd best take cover,they're moving in'.Frodo glanced over to where a fist-fight had erupted bwetween Merry,Pippin and Sam.'I saw the mushrooms first'squealedPippin ,punching Sam hard on the nose.'Did not'yelled Sam,forgeting all rules of fair play and good form in his rage and swiftly booting Pippin in a very sensitive area.
'I think we should get off the road' Frodo said.Nobody responded.Sam and Pippin had noticed Merry filling his bag with mushrooms and promptly leapt on him.Merry yelled in pain.For hobbits with sucha healthy appetite ,Sam and Pippin didn't work out much.'Get off the road'Frodo shouted in his panic-inducing whiny voice.Panic was induced and his companions stopped fighting and they all scrambled down under a conveniently situated bank at the side of the road.
A stout, out-of-breath policeman with a sniffer dog came running up the road.They all held their breath as he quickly scanned the area.Eager to end the tense situation Merry kissed his bag of mushrooms and threw it far away into the bushes.Fortunately the policeman was either drunk or just plain stupid (or both).Seeing the bag flying through the air he unquestioningly went over to where it landed rather than where it came from,blowing his whistle with a dreadful shriek as he did so.Frodo and co.
made good their escape into the woods.
A wearing chase followed.Stout out-of-breath policemen blowing whistles chased them all over the woods.Finally with darkness approaching they stopped to catch their braeth.Dim-witted as usual,Pippin asked 'What is going on?',but Merry was beginning to have suspicions.'Frodo, those policemen are looking for someone(well,duh).Are you running ..a drug cartel?'.'Well, yes I am'Frodo admitted modestly.
'Cooool'said Merry and Pippin in awestruck voices,gazing at Frodo with somrthing akin to worship.Sam butted in'They've finally tracked Frodo down so we have to leave the Shire and..'But Sam never got to finish his sentence.He began to change ,
his features twisting and contorting until finally he transformed into the sinister figure of Agent Smith.Horrified,Frodo turned to Merry and Pippin but they were now Agents Johnson and Brown.They grabbed Frodo and started shoving him into a police car which he stupidly hadn't noticed before.
At that moment a woman wrapped in shiny black leather soared in on a motorbike.She slammed into the agents,sent them flying,
then grabbed Frodo by the scruff of his neck and flung him over the handlebars.She raced off through the woods coming to a stop outside a huge mansion.She dragged him in and threw him on the floor at Morpheus' feet.'I know you may not believe it Frodo in fact, I hardly believe it myself but you are The One.
At that precise moment Agent Smith was on his OtherWorld Telephone to his buddy Elrond.Time seemed to slow around them.
It was an epic moment - the coming together of two great powers who coincidentally looked very similar.A crowd of extras dressed in elvish clothes surrounded Rivendell.One figure stood out from the crowd - it was Vicky,winking and grinning idiotically at Elrond and pointing frantically and adoringly at his ears and eyebrows.
Elrond finished his phonecall and came out on the balcony,flicking his long silky locks over his shoulder.The crowd went hysterical.Vicky looked as though on the verge of a schizoid embulism.The Elf-Lord waved his hand for silence and a thick blanket of it settled on the crowd.Elrond began the speech which hie PR managers had carefully and painstakingly written.
'My friends,I have foreseen that the ringbearer will soon arrive in Middle..I..eh..the ringbearer will soon arrive in Rivendell.Finally we have a chance to take over..to..um..save Middle-Earth.The crowd went wild,stamping,shouting and cheering.Elrond summoned two of his minions to give out pre-signed photos then walked back inside,looking over his shoulder as he went saying'Thank you,thankyouverymuch,Elrond has left the balcony.
Please review people,please.
Disclaimer:I dont own any of these cool characters.sigh.
And sorry about the rubbish formatting etc.
This is set during the Fellowship of the Ring when Frodo has met up with Merry and PIppin.
Frodo's mobile phone rang. It was Morpheus.'Frodo,you'd best take cover,they're moving in'.Frodo glanced over to where a fist-fight had erupted bwetween Merry,Pippin and Sam.'I saw the mushrooms first'squealedPippin ,punching Sam hard on the nose.'Did not'yelled Sam,forgeting all rules of fair play and good form in his rage and swiftly booting Pippin in a very sensitive area.
'I think we should get off the road' Frodo said.Nobody responded.Sam and Pippin had noticed Merry filling his bag with mushrooms and promptly leapt on him.Merry yelled in pain.For hobbits with sucha healthy appetite ,Sam and Pippin didn't work out much.'Get off the road'Frodo shouted in his panic-inducing whiny voice.Panic was induced and his companions stopped fighting and they all scrambled down under a conveniently situated bank at the side of the road.
A stout, out-of-breath policeman with a sniffer dog came running up the road.They all held their breath as he quickly scanned the area.Eager to end the tense situation Merry kissed his bag of mushrooms and threw it far away into the bushes.Fortunately the policeman was either drunk or just plain stupid (or both).Seeing the bag flying through the air he unquestioningly went over to where it landed rather than where it came from,blowing his whistle with a dreadful shriek as he did so.Frodo and co.
made good their escape into the woods.
A wearing chase followed.Stout out-of-breath policemen blowing whistles chased them all over the woods.Finally with darkness approaching they stopped to catch their braeth.Dim-witted as usual,Pippin asked 'What is going on?',but Merry was beginning to have suspicions.'Frodo, those policemen are looking for someone(well,duh).Are you running ..a drug cartel?'.'Well, yes I am'Frodo admitted modestly.
'Cooool'said Merry and Pippin in awestruck voices,gazing at Frodo with somrthing akin to worship.Sam butted in'They've finally tracked Frodo down so we have to leave the Shire and..'But Sam never got to finish his sentence.He began to change ,
his features twisting and contorting until finally he transformed into the sinister figure of Agent Smith.Horrified,Frodo turned to Merry and Pippin but they were now Agents Johnson and Brown.They grabbed Frodo and started shoving him into a police car which he stupidly hadn't noticed before.
At that moment a woman wrapped in shiny black leather soared in on a motorbike.She slammed into the agents,sent them flying,
then grabbed Frodo by the scruff of his neck and flung him over the handlebars.She raced off through the woods coming to a stop outside a huge mansion.She dragged him in and threw him on the floor at Morpheus' feet.'I know you may not believe it Frodo in fact, I hardly believe it myself but you are The One.
At that precise moment Agent Smith was on his OtherWorld Telephone to his buddy Elrond.Time seemed to slow around them.
It was an epic moment - the coming together of two great powers who coincidentally looked very similar.A crowd of extras dressed in elvish clothes surrounded Rivendell.One figure stood out from the crowd - it was Vicky,winking and grinning idiotically at Elrond and pointing frantically and adoringly at his ears and eyebrows.
Elrond finished his phonecall and came out on the balcony,flicking his long silky locks over his shoulder.The crowd went hysterical.Vicky looked as though on the verge of a schizoid embulism.The Elf-Lord waved his hand for silence and a thick blanket of it settled on the crowd.Elrond began the speech which hie PR managers had carefully and painstakingly written.
'My friends,I have foreseen that the ringbearer will soon arrive in Middle..I..eh..the ringbearer will soon arrive in Rivendell.Finally we have a chance to take over..to..um..save Middle-Earth.The crowd went wild,stamping,shouting and cheering.Elrond summoned two of his minions to give out pre-signed photos then walked back inside,looking over his shoulder as he went saying'Thank you,thankyouverymuch,Elrond has left the balcony.
Please review people,please.