I'd like to give thanks to everyone who's read these stories so far!
Friday. The week from hell was at its end. As he waited for the students to file into the classroom, Voldemort vowed that he would never, ever, ever again substitute-teach seminary. He had suffered more in that week alone than in his entire life. Scriptures and mastery cards had been thrown at him, his chalk had been stolen, only to reappear as a toy wand in some student's hand (the student always pretended to be Harry Potter—very annoying), and he had electrocuted himself with the light bulb and salt water object lesson. On top of that, no one knew how to play the piano and only three scriptures had been passed off! Yes, Voldemort couldn't wait to be free.
And that day should be quite easy. He wouldn't have to baby-sit as much today. This was a release-time seminary program with three other teachers, and they had dubbed today Talent Show day! They'd gather all the students in one room and let them entertain each other. Yes, today would definitely be easy.
The students didn't seem quite as interested in tormenting Voldemort that day. They made it through the devotional with relative ease, and they even sidled into the talent show classroom with only two threats from Voldemort. Once inside, Voldemort hid in a safe corner.
One of his students, Mary Sue Smith, was the first act. He knew her well—she had insisted all week that she had never so much as touched a piano. Well, what would her talent be?
"I'm going to play "Moonlight Sonata" on the piano," she announced. She then proceeded to express her artistry with skill to make any concert pianist blanch.
It was more than Voldemort could bear! Mary Sue had barely finished the moving performance when Voldemort yelled "Yet you can't play 'Sweet Hour of Prayer'?!"
Mary Sue burst into clearly false screams of terror. "Voldemort's attacking me! He wants to kill me just like he wants to kill Harry Potter!"
The combination of four seminary classes revolted. They mashed their programs into balls and threw them at Voldemort.
The other seminary teachers just laughed as Voldemort was driven from the classroom. "There goes another substitute."