Voldy knew that he somehow had to win the affections of the lovely Mary Sue Giles. Especially after the disaster of that day. He thought he would surprise her by walking into her Relief Society the next day at church and declare his undying love to her (because Mary Sues' love that kind of stuff). But he discovered that he hadn't the slightest idea where the Relief Society room was. So he wound up spending church in the Primary room.
Which was a bad thing, as he was the nursery leader. The dang babies got loose and freed the jell-o that some brave Cub Scouts had managed to round up the night before.
"You can come to Break-the-Fast with us!" Hyrum said. "Mary Sue will be there for sure."
"But you have to bring something," said Dalton. "Because it's potluck."
Voldemort didn't know how to cook! So he hopped in his car and drove to HogiYogi, where he bought a 6-foot long sub.
Eldon wanted to make lasagna, but the only cheese in the apartment was Zack's feta, and no one was going to let anyone make anything with that. So Eldon made funeral potatoes instead.
"Did you know that some people who eat potatoes are members?" Dalton said.
"Seriously?" Hyrum replied.
Voldy enjoyed the Break-the-fast. Indeed, he had never heard of such a thing, but neither had the authoress of this fic prior to seeing "The Singles Ward", so everyone figure that was okay.
Mary Sue sat with her friends on the other side of the gymnasium. Voldy tried to get her attention by throwing funeral potatoes at her head, but this only made her angrier. When she finally dumped a bowl of frog-eye salad on his head, he realized that coming to the Break-the-Fast was not helping the relationship grow.
At the end of the meal, he sadly crept up to the serving table to retrieve the last of his sandwich (about two feet, which was pretty dang good.) Mary Sue was at the table as well, cleaning up. She raised an eyebrow as Voldy grabbed the sandwich.
"Ah, so it was you who brought the sandwich."
Some guy ran up. "Actually, that sandwich is mine, and it's from Subway. Your sandwich is over there, Voldy."
"Oh." Mary Sue and Voldy walked to the other end of the table.
"Let me try this again," said Mary Sue. "So it was you who brought the sandwich."
"It's an old family recipe," Voldy said proudly.
"Family? I thought you never knew your parents."
"It's a Black family recipe, actually. But they're all dead, so I took it."
(A/N: Let's all have a moment of silence for Sirius.)
"Nice try," Mary Sue snapped. "I may have never worked at Hogi Yogi, but at least I was smart enough to take my KFC out of bucket before I brought it." She grabbed her plate and shoved a wing into her mouth. "Next time, take the sandwich out of the Hogi Yogi paper." She threw a drumstick at his head and left.
Again.
Was this is life? To be dumped again and again by a beautiful girl?
No. He had once tried to rule the world. He could certainly get on good terms with Mary Sue.