Death. Sorrow. That's all that comes from everything in life. Everything in existence having to do with darkness. It's like a dark abyss with no escape and no light with only your memory to be seen. I can remember a lot of meaningful things, like her. Just her name hits my heart with such a fierce pain that I fear I might be dying. Kallasilya. That was her name. Her voice and beauty are still radiant in my mind. Her voice was as soft as the whispers of a butterfly, making you lean in as close as possible to hear her sweet voice. If that didn't captivate you, than surely when you saw her in daylight you would be swept away. Her hair flowed down past her waist at a soft auburn color accentuating her fair skin. She was as beautiful as a morning sunrise in a slim body of intelligence.
Kallasilya, she meant the world to me, but then in a flash she was gone. She vanished from my existence and was never to be seen again. What happened? No one knows. There were multiple searches but nothing was found. She disappeared when I was out in back with the horses, feeding them and brushing them down. I heard a few strange noises, but in the North where we live, anything could be moving about. All of a sudden, there was a horrific scream. It was deafening. I quickly ran to the house and inside. My heart was pounding as quickly as a hummingbird's could. I knew that Kallasilya could defend herself, after all she knew how to use a sword quite well. When I got inside, all I saw was the door wide open and no Kallasilya inside. Then as I searched a little, I saw it. Blood. It could have been her blood or perhaps the opposer's. I pray it was the opposer's blood, and that she's not injured.
I only wish that I could see her face once more. I wish that I had the ability to go back and help her or at least find her. I only want her back in my arms to remind her of how much I truly love her and am devoted to her. It's breaking my heart to not have her in my life. Life isn't worth living day in and day out in a lonely house full of the reminders of her. Every time I look in a mirror I see her face, her eyes, her smile, only to haunt me and leave me desperate for her to come back. I didn't tell her enough of my love for her.
If they do find the body, without life, I'd go mad. I'd lose all hope for anything that's worth hoping for. I'd wander aimlessly to live a life of loneliness and desperation without any heart or any soul left. For if she dies, my heart and soul will leave with her because she captured them and didn't release them. Now they are a part of her as she is a part of me. If she dies, I'll drive the blade I own through myself and hope she didn't go through the kind of pain I had to be troubled with while she was missing.
However, as for now, there is still hope. There's a chance that she's still out there, alive and well. Nonetheless, she's alone and in no good circumstances. Who knows what's going on in her life if you could call it a life really as of right now? But still, hope exists and it exists until her body is discovered or she is discovered alive in no matter what condition. I will continue to pray and think of her in this darkness until she comes back to me. My Kallasilya. My love.