Voldy and Mary Sue quickly became the cutest couple in the singles ward.  They did pretty everything a dating couple can decently and allowably do together.  They road scooters, they went to the zoo, they cooked for each other, they cooked together, they toilet papered the bishop's house, they avoided FHE like the plague, etc.  It was a wonderful courtship, for they were both madly in love with each other.

Until the day Zack got arrested. 

To be perfectly honest, it wasn't his fault.  Mary Sue and Voldy had taken his car and bungi-jumped it off a cliff.  Since Zack was known to do weird things like that, the police automatically assumed it was him.  And so when the police showed him a picture of the car remains in all their fiery glory, he also said "Yep, that's my car" because, well, it was.  The police, of course, took that as a confession and slapped the handcuffs on him. 

"Shouldn't we tell them the truth?" Mary Sue asked Voldy worridly.

"Don't worry," came the reply. "He'll be breaking out next week anyway."

But the problem was that without Zack's car to borrow, there wasn't much they could do that night.  Of course, Mary Sue and Voldy both had cars, but they didn't want to throw either of those off a cliff.  

"Did you know that Lady Eowyn used to push Faramir's car off a cliff?" Dalton asked them.

And they certainly didn't want to hang out with Dalton, Hyrum, and Eldon!

That's when Mary Sue remembered that the local high school seminary was doing some party that night.  "It might be fun to crash that!"

"Uh… sure," Voldy agreed.  He still remembered his bad experience at the seminary, but he would do anything for Mary Sue.

So they drove over to the seminary party, crashed it (which was okay with the seminary teachers because they needed more chaperones anyway), and all was going good until someone recognized Voldy.

"You're the one who got mad because no one could play "Sweet Hour of Prayer"!" a boy shouted.  "You ran out of the seminary talent show!"

The teenagers immediately began to pelt Voldy with jell-o.

Mary Sue was horrified. "You were mean to seminary students?"

"Mary Sue, I can explain!" he begged.

She shook her head, tears filling up her eyes.  "I thought you were no longer an evil wizard who was mean to people.  I thought you had changed."

"I have changed. It was just a one time thing. All I wanted was someone to play the piano!"

"It's more than that, Voldy," she said softly. "It's your whole lifestyle. You won't go to church activities, either.  Or FHE.  I know it may not seem like much, but fellowshipping others is a big part of the Church community, and it's important for people to know you're there and that they can count on you as a friend on other times rather than Sunday meetings."

Voldy didn't know how to respond to that.  It was an idea he had never conceived before.

"There's something else.  I just got accepted to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  They decided they needed a Mary Sue to teach."

Voldy was stunned.  "You… you just can't!"

"I know I won't last even a year," she said, glaring at him.  "But it's important to me.  Goodbye, Voldy."

And she took his keys, hopped in his car, and drove off.

That night, Voldy called up Wormtail.  "You still up for toilet papering Hogwarts?"

"Heck, yeah."

Shout-Outs:

First off, I'm so glad for everyone that is insane enough to read this!  I love you all!

Celebrindal:  Thanks!!!!

Hermione30: Thanks for all those reviews!

Mousebrat:  I'm glad you have a fear of a true Singles Ward copy. So do I.  Which is why I don't do it.  I'm also afraid they might sue me.  So.. who's the evil space llama?

Nkittyhawk: Stupidity is good!  Writing this story requires no talent whatsoever!  And I want to join the International Society of Pants!