Just a short chappy today! Sorry. I just don't want you to think I've abandoned this. I PLAN TO DO THE ENTIRE "SINGLES WARD" PLOT!!!
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Voldy had expected that it would be hard to not think of Mary Sue every moment of the day. He was sure he would have to struggle against her memory, her sweet kisses, the romantic times they had spent together, the weird Batman theme music that he somehow now connected with her after reading a Batman fanfic with a Mary Sue in it. But it wasn't that hard, not really. If he just kept his days busy, he didn't have to think.
He hopped the first plane for Great Britain and met his friends Wormtail, Lucius Malfoy, and Barnaby the Frog in Hogsmeade.
"I can't believe you actually came!" Wormtail said happily. "I'm so glad you could actually get away from life for a bit and have some fun!"
"And I brought peanut butter cookies!" Lucius announced with a grin as he pulled out a Tupperware dish decorated with pastel flowers. "I baked them myself!"
Breaking up with Mary Sue wasn't starting off too bad, Voldy thought as he bit into a cookie. Everyone knew Lucius Malfoy baked the best cookies. It was an old family recipe.
So the havoc began. They bought a whole bunch of toilet paper (quilted, double-ply), fruit-scented shaving cream, and eggs. Actually, Wormtail wanted to steal them but Voldy wasn't about to be that evil. They staid up all night "decorating" Hogwarts until it looked like a toilet paper-covered castle. Which it was, so. . . They wrote "Dumbledore is a stupid head" on the lawn with the pink shaving cream. They stole a box of plastic sporks from the kitchen and stuck those in the lawn. Yes, they had fun indeed.
Hogwarts didn't remind Voldy of Mary Sue; he wouldn't let it. Besides, Mary Sue was still in Utah, preparing lesson plans and weird character trademarks to freak out the students with. For that time, Hogwarts was just Hogwarts, a building that he could subconsciously lash out at Mary Sue against.
After a few nights of this, Voldy knew it was time to come home.
Dalton, Hyrum, and Eldon picked him up in their new car. Actually, Zack had taken it from the jail after his death-defying escape. So they kinda felt they had to return it. After a few joy rides.
"Mary Sue has left for some pre-Hogwarts training center," Hyrum explained. "Don't ask me about it; the authoress just made it up at the spur of the moment to explain why Mary Sue isn't around and yet not yet at Hogwarts."
Voldy nodded. He was surprised to find he didn't care.