Chapter Four: The Yayas of the Round Table
Èowyn, being a very cool, nice and truly royal person, went in to check on the Yayas the following morning. To her surprise, they had all abandoned their respective beds and were lying curled up on the floor in a mass of blankets.
Èowyn shrugged but let it go. Luckily for her, the Yayas all instantaneously awoke that moment.
"Good morning," she said, pleasantly.
"Good morning," returned three of four Yayas over-energetically. Rachael merely glanced coolly at Èowyn and nodded. The three looked at her questioningly and then shrugged.
"I was just going to let you know breakfast is being served in the Hall," said Èowyn, somewhat unsettled by the intense gaze of Rachael.
"Thank you!" said Tama over cheerily, to compensate for Rachael's rudeness.
Èowyn left, disconcerted and the three Yayas turned immediately to Rachael and attempted to hit her in the nana as punishment for rudeness.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" yelled Emily.
"Decibels, Emily, decibels," said Tamela in a pained tone as she covered her ears.
"Sorry," apologized Emily, then returning to Rachael, she said, "What is wrong with you? Why were you so rude to Èowyn?"
"Oh, that," said Rachael, coolly, "Well, I don't like her. She has funny teeth."
"WHAT?" yelled Lan and Emily.
"Yeah," said Rachael, "Arwen is soooo much cooler."
"Arwen is just a big Elven floozy! She's practically part of the scenery! Like a tree or something!" exclaimed Lan, who was an avid supporter of the "Èowyn Rocks/I Hate Arwen" Fan Club.
"WHAT? YOU BE TALKING ABOUT MY GIRL?" bellowed Rachael, outraged, who was an avid supporter of the "Arwen Rocks/I Hate Èowyn" Fan Club.
"Decibels, Rachael, decibels," reminded Tama, once more covering her ears with a pained expression.
"Now, ladies," said Emily, in what she assumed was a pacifying tone, "It's not nice to talk about either of the ladies like that. They are both cool in different ways. After all, Arwen is a stunningly-gorgeous Elven Princess, but Èowyn is a beautiful Shield Maiden of Roh-"
(Emily belonged to neither the "Èowyn Rocks/I Hate Arwen" Fan Club nor the "Arwen Rocks/I Hate Èowyn" Fan Club, and merely admires both, although she tends to associate more with Èowyn. Tama, if you were wondering, belongs to neither as she doesn't know enough about Lord of the Rings to associate herself.)
Neither Lan nor Rachael paid the slightest bit of attention to Emily, and instead were yelling insults at each and demanding the other get out of their "Peacy-Full Bed" (as we call the Yayas' snuggling pallet of sleeping pleasures). Tama had long since abandoned any preconceived notions about a reasonable decibel level and pulled out a pair of ear muffs and a Cosmo magazine and was amusing herself as she saw fit. Emily eventually got bored of the argument as well and contented herself with reading over Tama's shoulder. She only realized that she was needed for something when Rachael and Tamela began yelling at her instead of each other.
"EMMA!" they yelled, "WE WANNA MAKE SHIRTS!"
Emily sighed and began complaining about how she was only wanted for her stuff, but nonetheless went to her bag and started pulling out stuff. Besides the Gavel of "This Conversation Has Gone Too Far," the Pantyhose of Goodness, the Hedgeclippers of Randomness, The Granola Bars of Useful Fulfillment, (which were all mentioned last chapter), the RULE book, the Cattle-Prod of Public Service and the Magical Box of 64 Crayons that Provide Glee and Purpose in One's Life, she also pulled out her inhaler, a box of band-aids, the World's Smallest Violin, chopsticks and a hand-drawn map of Europe. Finally, she pulled out a bag from Hobby Lobby. In it was everything Lan and Rachael would need to make their shirts.
About twenty minutes later, the Yayas walked into breakfast. Tama and Emily were in their normal (by this world's standards) clothing, but Rachael and Lan each wore a new T-shirt over their previous outfit. They were both run-of-the-mill T-shirts with messages blazoned in iron-on letters. (OK, that sentence just gets an a plus for hyphen use and vocabulary word usage.) Rach's was blue and read "ARWEN ROCKS!" and Lan's was purple and read "ÈOWYN ROCKS!" No one made a comment on either shirt, although Èowyn was noticeably warmer towards her supposed twin sister.
Breakfast was enjoyable, despite the fact that the Yayas (especially Emily and Tamela, as they had no argument to distract themselves) amused themselves by making what they called "Food Art."
"It's very popular in Moldova," Tama assured those sitting near her.
It wasn't until after everyone was finished eating that Èomer came to speak to the Yayas.
"We have decided to have a council after the meal to discuss what to do with you all," said Èomer.
"Just say 'ya'll,'" said Tama, rolling her eyes, "It may be Southern but it's simpler."
Èomer looked hesitant but all the Yayas nodded at him both very energetically and encouragingly so he spoke again.
"Ya'll's presence is, naturally, required," he said awkwardly.
"We'll work on proper usage later," Tama assured him.
"Awesome, we can figure out where we are in the books!" said Emily, "We'll have to make some preparations but we'll be there."
Èomer nodded and started to walk away, but he suddenly turned back.
"What's with the shirts?" he asked, skeptically.
"I think mine speaks for itself," said Lan, "ÈOWYN ROCKS!"
"I think mine speaks for itself," said Rachael, "ARWEN ROCKS!"
"Riiiiiiiiight," said Èomer, like Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove.
"Honestly, ya'll," said Emily, shaking her head, "With all the hot guys in LOTR, you're arguing over which girl is cooler?"
"Canon, Emily," reminded Tama, not looking up from her Cosmo.
"Right," said Emily, instantly holding out her hand to be smacked as she muttered, "Bad, Emily, BAD!"
Despite all his patience and good-will, Èomer was beginning to get a bit peeved. The meeting was supposed to have started forty-five minutes ago but (and you knew this was gonna happen) the Yayas were causing delays.
They had been hearing the girls' approach for about twenty minutes; from the long-hallway connecting to the Hall, they could hear scraping and dragging noises, often accompanied by cries of "LANNY!"
Finally, the Yayas appeared in the doorway. The people of the council saw what was taking so long. The Yayas were dragging a huge patio table with a glass top and complete with beach umbrella. No one could even begin to fathom the reasoning behind this.
The Yayas placed it precisely in the middle of the floor and then sat down wearily. They continued to look over their shoulders expectantly at the other members of the council. Finally and reluctantly, Èomer led his advisors over to the patio table.
"Thanks for your help," sneered the Yayas, sarcastically.
The people weren't exactly sure what to say other than, "What IS this?"
"We are the Yayas of the Round Table," said the Yayas, "And ya'll are sitting in the wrong area. All guests must sit in 'Skank Space,' obviously."
The people looked down at the table, which was divided with white electrical tape into four equal areas and then a fifth larger area. The four equal areas were each labeled with a rather janky "L," "R," "T," or "E." Depending on the name and the initial, the respective person was sitting in front of it. The remaning area was labeled as "SKANK SPACE!" The men rolled their eyes and crowded into the insufficient space.
"We wanted to get it decorated and engraved," explained Lan, "But we're on a budget."
"What does 'skank' mean?" asked Èomer.
"Skank? You know, as in 'Zelda' or 'Trina,'" said the girls.
The people all shook their heads. Rachael sighed and leaned over to quietly explain to them. They all looked at her oddly.
"You know, from anyone else I'd be offended," said Èomer.
"Wise decision," affirmed Emily, "Now, if you please, let's finally get this started!"
AN: Here you are, Lan and Yayas. The Law Firm will be in next chappie. To everyone else, hope you enjoyed! Lots of Love!
Emma
PS. Bonus points and a cookie if you can tell what countries Moldova borders!