Oh no, a Birthday Bash Chapter 3: Ring! Ring! RING!, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

I'm updating! Sorry if this took a while.

Disclaimer: I think you know I don't own yuugiou or any of the characters. If I did, then the English dub would be GONE!!! YEAH! And I see they're finished with battle city...I'm warning you English dubbers, if you mess up any of the Doma's character's voices I will personnally come over there and bang you with a bat....

Whee!!! Thirteen reviews! Count them, one, two, three, four, five six...I'll shut up now. And now I know two English dub Tea bashers! Yay! Oh, and I know it's not anywhere near Christmas, remember that Malik's birthday is December 22nd and that is only a couple of days until Christmas.

And I wonder how Serenity acts in the dub? Don't mind me if she acts a little strange, I've never seen her in the English version.....

Oh, and I might not update too quickly, My parents were all "You play too much computer so you can only play the computer on Friday and the weekends..." blah, blah, blah.

Ok, now on with the fic!

Chapter 3 Ring! Ring! RING!

"Now that's two down, six more to call. Who should I call next? Not the pharaoh and porcupine-head, I'll save them for last. I guess I'll call Ryou and Bakura now. Let's see...."

At Bakura's house. I don't think Ryou owns a mansion

"Bakura, NO! Put those knives away NOW! You can't put knives on a Christmas tree!!" Ryou said as he screamed at his yami.

"Oh, come on, they really give that green thing an elegant look, don't they?"

"No! Put those knives back!"

"Oh, fine. What's the point of celebrating this stupid holiday if you can't even decorate that green spiky thing?" Bakura asked as he put the knives away.

Ryou glared at his yami. "You can decorate the tree however you want, but you just can't put knives on a Christmas tree! Get some more into the holiday spirit!"

"Fine, fine, fine. Sheesh! You seriously need to get a better tradition. Back in ancient Egypt, you know, we truly honored cats not some green hairy thing that you pulled out of the ground."

"Bakura, I'm really thinking of sending you to summer camp or winter camp so you can catch up with what's happening today and not 3,000 years ago."

Bakura stared wide eyed at his yami. "0.0 No, that's okay, I can catch up and honor this thing you call a "tree"."

"That's better. Now stay here while I get out some traditional decorations for the tree." Ryou said as he walked out of the living room.

"That's just great....I try to do what my Hikari is doing and his stupid innocence ruins everything up when I just want to add some flare." Bakura sighed and walked to his couch to sit down just as...."

Ring!

"What the-"Bakura glanced around the room for indications on where the ringing was coming from.

Ring!

"Bakura, will you get the phone?"

"Ok, Ryou, whatever you say...." Suddenly Bakura spotted a white sort of bumpy box next to him.

Ring!

"Ahhh!!! Ryou, help! There's this small pile of solid white sand that's ringing and trying to make me go deaf! Help, Ryou!" Bakura ran across the room looking for a weapon.

"Bakura??" Ryou wanted to see what was going on. He looked at the phone and started to go near it to pick it up.

Just then....

WHACK

"Oww! Bakura! Why did you hit me with that book?"

"Ryou! Are you okay? I saved your life! You could have died if you touched that treacherous thing!"

Ring!

Ryou looked annoyed. "Argh! Bakura that was a telephone, for ra's sake! You pick it up and you can talk to somebody who is calling you!"

"Oh...."

Ring!

"Now let me pick this telephone up before I hit you with that damn thing!"

'Sheesh, who knew Ryou knew how to swear so much?' Bakura thought as Ryou approached the "telephone"'

"Hello? This is the Bakura residence, Ryou speaking."

"Bakura! What the hell! The phone ringed ten damn times already before you picked it up!

"-.- Malik, first of all, this is Ryou, not Bakura. Second, the phone rang nine times before I picked it up."

"Oh, well! That just makes it five times worst!" Malik said as he glanced frustratingly at the phone. "Why couldn't you just pick it up on the first time?"

"I'm happy to speak with you, too, Malik. How may I help you?" Ryou asked in a boring tone.

'Okay, Malik, stay calm...try not to throw this "phone" at the wall so Isis doesn't make me clean up the mess and make me pay for it when she gets home. Stay calm....'

"ahem Ryou, my birthday is tomorrow I think, and Isis wants me to celebrate it. We would like to invite you and..umm...your yami as well."

"Your birthday is tomorrow? But you never celebrate it!"

"Well, yes, but Isis is forcing me to."

"Then of course Bakura and I will come! Why, it will be splendid, you celebrating your birthday for the first time! We shall-"

"Umm, Ryou?"

"Have lots of cake and, oh! It's almost Christmas! We'll bring some ornaments to put on the tree, and, I know! We'll bring presents to exchange and-"

"Ryou!"

"We all will have a Christmas feast and-"

"RYOU!!!!!!!!"

"Umm, yes? Sorry, I got carried away there. "

"Thank you." Malik glanced impatiently at the clock. If Isis got here before he was done calling, then he'd be in real trouble. "Now are you going to come or not?"

"Of course we'll be there! Bye, now! Bakura and I will see you tomorrow!"

"BYE!" Malik slammed down the phone. 'Ra, why do you make me suffer instead of the pharaoh?'

/ /Because you're not the pharaoh/ /

/Shut the hell up! Besides, aren't you shopping?/

/ /Yes, but Isis says she wants to buy me some more clothes because anything I have is too dark/ /

/Ha! You have to go shopping for clothes! Haha!/

/ /Annndd she's buying you some new clothes too/ /

/Oh, crap..../

Malik broke the mind link and looked at the clock. "Well, Isis does tend to shop for a pretty long time, so I guess I'm safe. Let's see, four down, four to go. Who should I call next? Hmm...Well I absolutely will NOT call the pharaoh and his stupid hikari next. I guess I'll call Joey and Sir. Enity.

Malik picked up the phone and dialed Joey's number.

At Joey's house. I am absolutely sure that Joey does not own a mansion

"Okay, now, I'll add some of this pepper stuff and some onions...yeah! These are going to be the best cookies ever!

"Joey! You put onions and pepper in a cookie? That's gross!" Serenity said making a disgusted face.

"How is that gross? I 'put onions and peppers and even some beans, spinach and pizza in the smoothie I made last night and you said you loved it, sis!" Joey said happily as he continued stirring the batter. "This looks like it's almost done!"

Serenity made a face at her brother. "That's what you put in that drink yesterday? I think I'm going to be sick....Excuse me, but I really have to go to the bathroom right now...."

"Sure thing, sis. Now let's see...Soybean sauce! I bet it would taste great in these cookies." Joey started pouring soybean sauce in his cookies.

Ring!

Joey picked up the phone. "Hello? Who is this?"

"You're worse nightmare."

"Ahhh!!! Kaiba!!! Serenity, help! Kaiba's calling me! He probably wants to pulverize me through the phone somehow!"

Serenity walked out of the bathroom. "Onii-chan! Be reasonable! Why would the rich CEO call one of his worst enemies?"

"Hey, sis, you're right....but the person on the phone said that he was my worst nightmare and moneybags there is my worst enemy...." Joey looked at his sister reasonably.

"You dimwit! It's not Kaiba, you mutt! It's Malik!"

"Oh, sorry there, Malik, I actually thought that you were moneybags...wait a second....AAHHHHH!!!! Malik's on the phone! Help!!!!" Joey started running around in circles screaming like a maniac.

"Oh brother...." Serenity grabbed the phone from Joey. "Hello, Malik! Sorry, about my onii-chan, he's having...a really bad day..."

"Yeah, I believe you alright." Malik said in a sarcastic tone. "So, Isis wants me to-"

"We'll come to you're birthday party! Don' worry! And I'll persuade my onii-chan too!"

"What the hell? How did you know?" Malik asked confusedly.

"Well, Isis came here dragging Marik a while back...something about being fed up, books, taxis, and flowers...well, she said that you're birthday is tomorrow and she said we're invited! And the best part is Tristan-san is coming too! "

"Serenity! You did NOT just agree to go to that evil-destroying-killer-who-almost-killed-Mai-and-me's birthday, did you?!?!" Malik heard Joey's voice from the other side of the line.

"Onii-chan! It wasn't Malik who did that, it was Marik! That's a big difference!"

"Whatever. At least Mai will be there!" Joey said at a happier tone.

Malik started to scream. "WHAT THE HECK, I DID NOT INVITE THAT MAKE-UP PERSON, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Serenity quieted down. "Umm...Malik?"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, DO NOT TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO INVITE THAT STUPID STYLISH-PERSON, OK????"

'Woah, somebody needs to calm down.....' Serenity thought. "Uhh, Malik? Isis said it was alright to bring a friend if we wanted to, and Joey asked if we could bring Mai, and she said yes. And don't worry, umm, we'll call her and if you don't mind, we'll call Tristan too......."

"YOU MEAN MY DAMN SISTER INVITED THAT DAMN PERSON!!!!"

"Malik, take a deep breath and count to one-hundred..."

"WHY SHOULD I TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND COUNT TO WHATEVER NUMBER YOU JUST SAID!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE MY STUPID SISTER ACTUALLY INVITED HER AND FRIEND SHIP FREAK AND DICE PER-"

Hang Up

Joey looked wide eyed at Serenity. "I could hear him all the way from here....."

"Joey! You're right next to me, remember?" Asked Serenity as she slowly put the phone down.

"Oh, yeah...." Joey stated. "Well, at least Mai is coming too! "

"Oh brother...."

Meanwhile, at Malik's house

"WHAT BY RA, MY STUPID SISTER ACTUALLY INVITED MAKE-UP FREAK TOO! OKAY, THAT'S IT, THE NEXT TIME I SEE ISIS, I WILL KILL HER WITH THE SENNEN ROD!"

/ /Sheesh! Malik, you should calm down a bit. You yelling in my head is not helping.../ /

/WHAT DO YOU MEAN BE CALM???? I WILL NOT TOLERATE HER INVITING STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!/

/ /Malik, should I come again in a couple of hours when you're calmer?/ /

/YES DO THAT, OR I WILL EXPLODE ON TOP OF YOU!!!!/

/ /0.0 Okay...../ /

'Okay, Malik, be calm....I'll just have a nice chat with my sister when she gets home and she better have a good explanation for this....' Malik stared at the wall. 'Now....let's see...what did Sir. Enity say? Oh yeah, she said to take a deep breath.' Breaths in, and then breaths out.

'Well, at least Sir. Enity said that she would call the house-hair person, so at least I don't have to call anyone else...'

/ /Ahem What about the Pharaoh and his hikari?/ /

/Oh, no....did you have to remind me? /

/ /Yup! That's what yamis are for. You better hurry up, you know, Isis and I are walking home now, so we should be back in a few minutes/ /

/Great.../

Wherever Marik is

Serenity looked outside her house. "Onii-chan, look! Isis is back! She and Marik must be back from shopping!" Serenity ran outside to meet them.

"Hi, Serenity!" Isis walked up to her with a very reluctant person following her. "What's up?"

Serenity smiled. "Not much, my onii-chan has been baking some very....strange cookies...What's up with you?"

/ /Malik? On second thought, we'll be back in a few more hours.../ /

/You will? YES!!!/

/ /Hikaris are stupid.../ /

/HEY!!!!!/

Back at Malik's house. Actually, he could have a mansion...

"Okay...it's time to call the Pharaoh and his hikari now....." Malik sighed and then picked up the phone.

To Yugi's house! I actually know for once that he doesn't have a mansion!

Yugi tried to stop his yami. "Yami, stop! Those ornaments aren't food! Argh! Don't touch the presents! You'll get to open them soon! Hey, put the star back on the Christmas tree! Yami! Don't run into the-"

BOOM!

"Christmas tree.... YAMI!!" Yugi started glaring at him. "What were you thinking?"

Yami tried to get out of the mess. "Sorry, aibou, I guess I got carried away..." Yami brushed the pine needles of him. Then he heard....

Ring!

"Why do I have to ring all the time? Maybe I'll moo..." thought the telephone in his secret quiet voice.

Moo!

Quack!

Yami looked around! "Ahhh! There are some animals in this room! Yugi, get my puzzle! I can't have manure on it!"

Yugi sighed. "Yami, that's a telephone. Though why it started mooing and quacking is beyond me..."

Oink!

Tweet!

Yugi picked up the telephone. "Hello? Who is this?"

At the other line, Malik answered. "Hi you stupid porcupine-head."

"Malik? Oh, hello there! How are you? And...why are you calling me?" Yugi stood confused.

"Well...my birthday is tomor-"Malik began.

"You're birthday is tomorrow? And you're going to invite me and yami? We'll come! And I'll convince Yami...somehow....Well bye!"

Malik made a confused face. 'It was that easy?' But, before he hung up...

"YUGI!!! WHY DID YOU AGREE TO GO TO MALIK'S HOUSE TOMORROW? I WILL NOT GO TO THAT EGYPTION FREAK'S HOUSE!!!!"

"Yami, you're Egyptian too..."

"Oh, yeah....but still....WHY DID YOU SAY THAT I WOULD GO TO HIS HOUSE FOR A BIR THE DA YE?"

"Uhh...Yami? It's birthday, and umm...because Malik doesn't deserve to be treated badly just because he raised another erm...interesting yami..."

"YEAH HE DOES!!!!!"

"Well, Yami, it's almost Christmas, so we should celeb-"

Hang up

Malik put the phone down as quickly as he could. "Well....that was....interesting...At least I've finished calling everyone...."

Ding Dong

"Hmm...I could have sworn I heard something Ding Dong...."

DING DONG

"Maybe I'm hearing things."

DING DONG!!!!!!!!

/ /Malik! You fool! Open the damn door already! We've dinged dong long enough!/ /

/ Oh, so that's what was ringing..../

/ /OPEN THE DOOR NOW!!!!/ /

/0.0 Ok..../

Malik walked to the door. Isis walked in, shoving Malik along the way. "Malik! What took you so long to open the door?"

Marik was laughing. Malik glared at him. "I was...err... finishing calling everyone..., yeah, that's right!" Malik put his most innocent face on.

"Oh...ok, now have you finished calling everyone?" Isis asked.

"Yeah..."

"Have they said they could come?"

"Yeah..."

"Did Serenity tell you about Mai?"

"Yeah..."

"Can you say something else other than yeah?"

"Yeah..."

Isis stomped her foot down. "MALIK!!!!"

Malik looked surprised at her. "What?"

"Stop saying yeah! Ok, now come and see what Malik and I have brought..." Isis took Malik and showed him the armful of bags. "See, we have plenty of decorations, and a wreath, and..." Isis showed him a green plant with red berries.

"WHAT??!?!?! WHY DID YOU BUY A MISTLETOE????" Malik screamed at Isis.

Isis smiled. "Well...because there are some lovebirds we're inviting..."

"Oh..."

"Now, MARIK!!! GET BACK HERE!!!!" Isis looked at Marik, who was itching away.

Marik stopped in his tracks. "Drat, I almost got away....."

Isis sighed impatiently. "Look, you two, just go to sleep and I'll finish decorating."

"Fine..." Malik walked to his room and Marik walked to his.

The next day because Flaming Emerald is too lazy to write what happened

Malik opened his eyes. "Drat...my birthday is today..."

And that' where I stop! And now answers too reviews:

Kls: Yeah...they are pretty cute, aren't they? And I think Yami no Malik is just as cool as Malik! lol! Yup, Tea should have something better to talk about.....

Kke: Thanks!

XoX.d.a.[r].k.a.n.[g].e.l.XoX: I'm glad you liked it!

Cake for you!: Thanks for the yummy cake! And I just updated!

Takura2004: Yup, he did!

Cecilia DevilAngel: Yep, I'll update it! I just did.

Kikoken: Oh...But Kaiba is 16, not 17....

Ok, bye! And don't forget to review or I won't update!