Dragon's Bane 2
Disclaimer: What we've got here is a failure to communicate. Ranma 1/2 and Dungeons and Dragons do not belong to me. As such I'm doing this for the enjoyment of others without the permission of some other others.
Anyway here's chapter 2 which only came out because of pressure. (30 e-mails threatening me to continue or else)
Chapter 2: I'm not a monkey's uncle
Everybody's attention was glued firmly on Ranma, awaiting an explanation of exactly how he became a dragon. Ranma decided that it would be best if they conducted this business inside. He polymorphed back to his human form, idly noting that he was still female despite trying to shift back to male. He hoped that the elder dragons stash had something on Jusenkyo or curses in general. Of course this sudden change in size caused Shampoo to fall off and land on her face.
"I think we should continue this inside." Ranma said as he picked up the tray that had the sushi on it.
"I agree, we have no idea who might decide to drop by." Cologne said as she headed for the veranda.
The rest of the people that had gathered piled into the house and arranged themselves around the table. Cologne sat in Soun's usual spot. She lit her pipe and took several long drags of its 'medicinal' content. Shampoo sat in Genma's spot and immediately latched onto Ranma who was sitting in his normal spot. Akane, Ukyo and Nabiki were on the other side of the table. Nabiki still had her monster manual that she'd gotten from the chemistry club. Happosai was sitting next to Cologne so she could bop him if he tried anything. Kasumi was still in the kitchen fixing supper for everybody and as such wasn't at the table.
"Shouldn't we wait for Kasumi?" Ranma asked as he fiddled with his mithryl shirt.
"Oh I don't think she'd add much to this conversation son in law." Cologne chuckled. In reality she didn't want Kasumi here because the girl would have probably screwed up everything that she was about to do.
"Ahh I guess." He said as he scratched his head.
"So, Ranchan, how the hell did you become a dragon?" Ukyo said calmly although she was anything but calm.
"Well I didn't become a dragon. I always was one." Ranma said as he looked a bit embarrassed.
"Son in Law it probably would be best to start at the beginning." Cologne said as she grabbed her staff.
"Well in the beginning there was nothing... then BOOM..."
Cologne hit him.
"Try starting with when you were born." Cologne suggested.
"Well I don't remember much about that. I was just a baby after all. Umm what I've been able to get out of the old man is that his son was born and did exist. I think it was between breaking his femur and his collarbone that he said something about selling his son to a family. He couldn't remember their names as he was too drunk at the time. By the time he noticed his son was missing it was too late. The family had already left. Since the old man was pretty stupid he pretty much went immediately to his 'Nodoka's going to kill me' mode instead of trying to get his son back." Ranma let out a huge sigh. "Moron."
"That still doesn't answer where you came from." Nabiki said as she crossed her arms under her breasts and glared at him.
"I was just getting to that. It took a few more broken bones for the old man to fess up. Apparently he just 'found' me crying somewhere in the forest in a wicker basket." He said. Then switched to draconic and said. "Had to break a few more bones just to make sure."
"What was that?" Cologne said as she tried to understand what he'd just said.
"What was what?" Ranma asked innocently. One could almost see the halo above his head.
"What did you just say idiot!" Akane growled out.
"I said that Genma found me in a basket in the forest." Ranma said.
"No after that!" Akane said as her patience was quickly running out.
"What was what?" Ranma said clearly enjoying every second of tormenting everybody at the table with his ignorance.
"I believe what my little homicidal sister is referring to is that sentence that you said in that weird language." Nabiki said as she grabbed the back of Akane's shirt and hauled her back to the ground.
"What was what?" He said in Mandarin.
"Aiyaah! Airen speak very good mandarin." Shampoo said in her Japanese as she was forbidden from speaking her native tongue while in the presence of others.
"Since when could you speak mandarin son in law." Cologne said as she suddenly got very nervous.
"Well it was a few weeks ago. I decided that not knowing the language was causing me a whole bunch of problems so I decided to learn it." Ranma said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"You learned an entire language in a few weeks?!" Ukyou said. Her hair was sticking up near the end.
"Well it was more like a month. I'm not the best of speakers but I can get my point across." Ranma shrugged.
While Ranma was beaking off Nabiki was flipping through her monster manual. She read a bit of information and then cursed herself for not going out and getting the other two core books. She sighed and decided to take a chance.
"The language he was speaking was Draconic. It's the language of dragons and some other reptiles. Am I right Ranma kun?" Nabiki said as she winked at him. If she was wrong it would be horribly embarrassing.
"Ahh yeah I just kinda always knew it but since nobody else spoke it I never had a reason to use it." He shrugged. "I guess I still don't since the only other dragon descendant that I know is Herb and I don't think he speaks it either."
"Maybe you should take up Sandskrit or Olde English next." Nabiki joked. "You know learn some other dead languages." She broke down laughing at this.
"Summon toad."
A small toad appeared on her head and then jumped down the front of her blouse. Nabiki jumped up and started screaming as she attempted to remove the toad from her person. She kept rolling around long after the spell had worn off.
"So son in law please continue with your story." Cologne said as she watched Nabiki start to remove her shirt before she realized that the toad had vanished.
"Well I figure that somebody changed me into a human and left me there. Who they were and why I have no idea since the old man didn't know either. The only problem is that I was reading the elder dragon's books..." He was cut off by Happosai.
"The elder dragon's books?"
"Yeah I found this cave where an elder dragon made its home. No I'm not telling anybody where it is. I never get enough peace and quiet anyway. Anyway he had a lot of old books, scrolls, and other stuff down there." Ranma said as he looked at the sparkly effect around Happosai.
"Ranma m'boy do you think you could bring me a couple of those books?" He asked as he turned on the big puppy dog eye look.
Of course it would have helped if he was in anyway cute.
"Hell no old man. For one thing I can't read most of the stuff as most of it's written in other languages. The second reason is that I don't want you having access to any more magic than you already have!"
"Aww come on..." He whined.
"No. No magic for you!"
"But.."
"No."
"Maybe."
"No."
"You're no fun." Happosai said as he sat down and pouted.
"Of course he's not going to let you see any of those books Happi. What do you think he is, an idiot?" Cologne said looking smug.
"Is that a trick question?" Happosai countered.
"Of course not you moron!" Cologne said as she took another drag on her pipe. "Besides he's going to let me see them."
"No! No I'm not! I'm not going to let ANYBODY see them!" Ranma shouted as he jumped up dragging the still clinging Shampoo with him.
"But son in law you can't read them. Maybe somebody in the tribe could read them. After all we have 3000 years of history." Cologne smiled. That'd get him.
Ranma narrowed his eyes.
"I highly doubt that anybody in your tribe knows how to read Elven, dwarven, infernal or celestial. Hell I can't even read what they call common." Ranma said. "No I'll figure it out for myself. Besides as the elder said 'gold and jewels there are plenty but knowledge is the greatest treasure here.' I will not let anybody mess around with my horde!" He calmed down a bit. "Besides the lack of magical knowledge has gotten us all into trouble in the past and I really don't want somebody like Ryoga or Tarou getting their hands on any of the magic there." He said as he finally sat down. Shampoo remolded herself to him.
"Why do you keep picking on poor Ryoga!? What did he ever do to you!?" Akane yelled as she jumped up and held her mallet at the ready.
"Yeah right. Who's always coming here yelling..."
"Ranma because of you I've seen hell!" Ryoga yelled as he charged into the room and tried to jab him with his umbrella.
"My god man that's perfect timing." Ranma said as he pushed Shampoo out of the way and jumped over the strike.
"No fighting in the house, remember, P-chan." Ranma taunted as he jumped outside.
"Grr. Running away again you monster! I'll never let you get away with this." Ryoga yelled his indignation to the heavens.
Ranma used this time to stash his clothes in the bracelet and shift to his dragon form. He felt that it was high time that he learned how to fight in it and not get his ass kicked like when he was fighting Tarou. (It wasn't a loss it was a strategic retreat.)
Ryoga of course decided to charge right in like a boar and push Ranma back into the pond. Ranma of course saw Ryoga coming from a mile away and jumped over him and started hovering in the air. Ryoga became confused at his target suddenly jumping over him. Ranma usually engaged him when he did this instead of dodging. He was so surprised that he tripped and landed in the koi pond.
Ranma who'd done a wingover and turned 180 degrees so that he wouldn't be blindsided. He watched as Ryoga fell into the pond with and ungraceful flop. Ranma expected to see a little black pig surface but instead it was a hopping mad Ryoga. Ranma was stunned that Ryoga didn't change. He resolved to beat how Ryoga got cured out of him later. He spotted some small soap bubbles on Ryoga's left shoulder. Waterproof soap. Ranma quickly wondered where he got some and if he could get some for himself or just make the stuff. Even though its protection against water was spotty it was better than nothing. Oh well enough philosophizing it was his turn now.
He decided that the Saotome school was best adapted for aerial combat so what better way to do that than to stay aloft and pummel Ryoga from the air. He flapped his wings churning up miniature dust devils. He flew towards the pond and lashed out with his front claw. He connected solidly with his first attack. He then followed up with his other claw and then finally with his wing. His other two attacks missed but his first attack caught Ryoga solidly under his chin and rocked his world. Ryoga was of course wary of this new Ranma as he didn't fight like the old one. He decided to fake going down with that punch and then retaliate.
The mule kick that he tried failed to connect and he fell on his face as a result. The follow-up jump kick also failed to connect. Ryoga was getting frustrated at his lack of connection so he tried a rising uppercut which despite Ranma's not being on the ground caught the young dragon by surprise knocking him right out of the air.
"Not bad Ryoga." Ranma said as he shook his head to clear the cobwebs and regain his footing. "But now try mine."
Ranma wound up and let loose with a massive lightning bolt that completely failed to connect.
"Yeah right you monster is that all you can do?!" Ryoga taunted as he rushed in for close quarters.
Ryoga opened up with a devastating haymaker and uppercut combo and then tried to follow up with a leg sweep. The first two connected solidly however Ranma had enough sense to stumble out of the way of the leg sweep.
Ranma stumbled back. Damn was Ryoga hitting hard today. He couldn't remember being hit like that before. Ryoga'd probably gotten stronger since he'd last seen him. He carefully licked the blood that was dripping from his mouth and considered his options. Ryoga was going all out at a higher strength than he'd ever fought at before, combined with the fact that he really wasn't used to fighting as a dragon yet. He was at a disadvantage here and he was losing! There was always retreat but that was the final attack. He was pretty sure that Ryoga hadn't learned how to fly since he last saw him. (It was a third circle spell after all.)
Deciding that he wasn't that hurt yet he decided that if Ryoga was going all out he shouldn't hold back either. He rushed in with a grace and agility that belied his larger form and lashed out with his mouth chomping down on Ryoga's left shoulder and then following up with two claw slashes that raked Ryoga's front. He disengaged and started spitting out blood. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bite him.
"You bit me!" Ryoga howled as he wound up and charged again.
Ranma briefly thought that it definitely wasn't a good idea to bite him.... just before Ryoga crashed into him.
Ryoga was too enraged to think straight. As such he missed all of his attacks. However one of the bigger stones around the koi pond wasn't so lucky and was smashed to gravel.
Now things were getting serious. Ranma decided to try his lightning again.
A blue white bolt of lightning shot from his mouth and this time he actually managed to hit Ryoga top dead center.
"Suck on that!" Ranma crowed as he celebrated his 'victory' over Ryoga. Sure it wasn't the best lightning that he'd ever shot off but hey it was powerful enough to put Ryoga down.
Of course Ryoga had other ideas about Ranma's 'victory'. He expressed his concerns with a powerful haymaker that actually tossed Ranma to the other end of the yard. He stumbled but otherwise managed to stay standing.
"All right Ranma. Time to finish you off once and for all!" Ryoga shouted as he powered up a Shi Shi Houkodan.
"This is going to hurt isn't it?" Ranma said just as Ryoga's attack missed his head by a few millimeters. The attack slammed into the street just outside the property.
Kuno was blasted.
"Verileeeeeee"
Nobody cared.
"All right Ryoga I've got to end this before somebody get's hurt...." Ryoga just looked at him. "Ok somebody important anyway." Ranma said as he came up with one last ditch idea.
"Die Ranma!" Ryoga yelled as he started to charge yet again.
Ranma waited until Ryoga was well within his threat range before he lashed out with a stream of repulsion gas. Ryoga caught the cloud right in his face. He took off running directly away from Ranma at top speed as per the compulsion. Ranma waited a few minutes for a 'Ranma prepare to die!' but all he got was a 'where the hell am I now?!!'.
When Ranma was sure he was good and lost he let his guard down. He was reluctant to show it but everybody saw him moving like he was drunk towards the veranda, blood was still leaking from a cut he'd gotten on his lip. Kasumi had come from the kitchen to see what all the commotion was and saw him limping towards the house.
"Skippy!" She yelled and dashed out to tend to her 'pet'.
"What happened Skippy? Who did this to you?" Kasumi said as she fretted over his wounds.
"It was Ryoga. He wanted to fight." Ranma said as he hung his head.
"Now Skippy you could get seriously hurt some day fighting with that boy. Now come along we're going to get that treated." She said as she led him to the veranda.
Ranma watched as Kasumi got out the medical kit and started dabbing some peroxide on the wound. It still stung but not as much as it would have if he was human. He thought to himself that he might have a mild concussion because when she was wrapping his leg with the bandage he could have sworn that he saw a bit of light coming from her hands. He shook his head to clear it and when he looked back there wasn't any more light. He thought to himself to take it easy for a little bit. Concussions were nothing to joke about.
"There you go Skippy all better." Kasumi smiled.
"Yeah it almost doesn't hurt at all. Thanks Kasumi!" He said as he licked her in thanks.
"Now Skippy I don't want you fighting with that Ryoga boy anymore he's not stable and is going to really hurt somebody some day." Kasumi said as she put on her most stern face.
"Alright I promise I won't start anything but if he attacks me first I will defend myself. Ok?" He said as he tried to placate her. Since Ryoga started all of their fights anyway it wouldn't be hard to keep his promise.
Kasumi stared at him for a long time before responding.
"Alright just as long as you don't get too hurt." Kasumi said as she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a huge hug.
Inside the house the rest of the participants in this little side show were watching the byplay that was taking place outside. All but one. When Kasumi had finished patching up Ranma Nabiki turned to take another look at her guide but noticed something was amiss. She turned further and noticed a distinct lack of a body next to her. Sometime during the scuffle Akane had slipped away and gone somewhere. Where she went became readily apparent as soon as she came from the kitchen carrying a bowl full of something.
"All right everybody food's ready." She smiled as she set it down on the table.
"What happened to Kasumi's food?" Nabiki asked even though she already knew the answer.
"Well she abandoned it. I didn't want it to burn so I took over the cooking." Akane said as she went back into the kitchen and brought out several more bowls and plates of stuff. None of it even remotely looked like Kasumi's cooking.
"Uhh sis you didn't add anything to them did you?" Rhetorical questions 101.
"Well they were looking a little boring so I decided to kick them up a notch!" She said as she pumped her fist into the air.
"Shampoo we've wasted enough time here. Come we have to get back to the restaurant before Mr. Part time burns it down." Cologne said as she pogoed out of the house and over the wall before Shampoo could even respond.
"Bye Bye Airen!" Shampoo said as she too left.
"I've got a restaurant to run too." Ukyo said as she exited stage left.
Happosai was of course no where to be found.
"I just remembered somebody who owes me money. I'd better go get that now before he forgets." Nabiki said as she too cleared out as fast as she could.
Kasumi had come inside as soon as Akane had brought out the first dish. She just stared at the neon green dish and tried to figure out exactly what it had been before her little sister had laid her hands of bane on it. It might have been the curry or maybe the stir-fry.
"Ooo! Those Jerks. Well Ranma eat up." Akane smiled as she picked up the hot pink plate and walked over to where Ranma was still sitting.
"Ahh I just remembered something that came up." He looked around nervously. Old habits die hard apparently.
Akane stormed up to him while he was trying to figure out a good excuse so he could escape. She roughly grabbed the horn on the bottom of his chin and yanked down. His mouth popped open and she shoved the contents of the plate down his throat. (Save vs. Death) Ranma turned even greener than he was before but he didn't keel over.
"See it's good." She said as she went over and picked up the green bowl and the brown plate.
"See he likes it so much I think he wants some more." Akane said. Ranma usually passed out on the first bite so his dragon form must have a much higher immunity to her food.
She started out with the brown plate. (Save vs. Poison) That went down just as easily. Ranma didn't even flinch. Emboldened by her success and believing that her cooking had finally gotten better she shoved the green bowl down his throat. (Save vs. Paralysis) Ranma's fortitude had been challenged twice already by toxic substances that would have killed a normal human three times over. However it has been said that third time's a charm. He teetered and slowly fell over.
"Soylent green is made of people! Peeeeeplll."
"Akane! How dare you poison Skippy! I don't try to kill your pet why are you trying to kill mine." Kasumi said in not a yell but a very stern tone.
"But he deserved it. I mean my cooking has gotten better! See he was able to eat three whole servings before he fainted!" Akane said in her defense.
"No more feeding Skippy ok." Kasumi said in a quiet voice.
Seeing that her sister was genuinely hurt by this Akane had a small change of heart.
"All right sis I won't feed your pet anymore." Ranma was a different story altogether though. "But owning a pet dragon is a great responsibility." She said as she tried to lighten the mood. "You'll have to feed him, wash him, and clean up dragon crap." She said as she started giggling.
"Oh my do you have to do all that with P-Chan?" Kasumi asked.
That seemed to bring Akane up short.
"Uhh you know I've never had to clean up after p-chan and he always runs away when I want to give him a bath." She said as she scrunched up her forehead in concentration. "I should try following him some time to see if he's going in some corner somewhere and I've never noticed it." She grimaced. "If he has he's one dead piggy."
"So owning a pet is not such a bad thing then." Kasumi said as she went over to where Ranma was passed out on the lawn.
Akane watched as Kasumi took his head in her lap and started petting him. She snorted and went off to try and find P-Chan and get him to show her were he'd been doing his business. She hoped it was in Ranma's room but of course she could never be that lucky. Since she had left the room she missed the soft glow that surrounded Kasumi's hands as she petted Ranma's head.
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Ranma regained the world of consciousness and almost slipped back into blissful sleep except for the fact that his stomach was telling him that if it wasn't emptied right now it would go Mr. T on its contents and throw that sucka through a plate glass window. Metaphorically speaking of course. It would take him many centuries before he got large enough to swallow Mr. T whole, and many more before he could reliably keep him in his stomach long enough for him to digest. Not that he was willing to try eating humans after all they weren't kosher. At least he didn't think they were. Whatever kosher meant.
The next thing that he noticed was that there were three first level spells floating around in his head. When he'd first read about dragons he'd noted that in his age category he should know some first circle spells but he only knew some zero circle cantrips. Further reading had informed him that to advance he needed to perform some sort of ritual with certain plants, drugs, etc and after a period of 'mild' psychotropic activity he would then be able to figure out his first circle spells. Apparently Akane's cooking was good for something after all.
Now if he could only stop that tinker gnome from hammering on his head or that kender that was insistent on pulling on his tail and tying it into a shank knot.
He slowly opened one of his eyes. It was fairly dark outside but his darkvision kicked in and everything lit up bright as day except that everything was black, white and grays. He gave a quick flip of his tail and sent the stupid kender into the wall with a thud. He then turned his attention to the tinker gnome.
"It is my suggestion that you start running now or I will roast you and eat you." He whispered menacingly in draconic. He let out a low growl to get his point home just in case this particular gnome didn't speak higher languages.
"Umm I think I'll just be going now mate." The gnome said as he wet himself and took off as fast as his little legs could carry him.
Ranma was about to go back to sleep, his stomach apparently settled, when a few things became apparent to him.
1) He was outside in the spot where he'd passed out.
2) Somebody had put a pillow under his head and covered as much of him as they could with a blanket.
3) There was something around his neck.
4) There was something warm and decidedly female cuddled up to him.
1&2 were just common courtesy. #3 was strange. Finally # 4 was going to get him killed. He carefully lifted the blanket to see that Kasumi had set up a futon on the grass beside him and was currently gripping him with the tenacity of a mongoose and the pressure of a boa constrictor. He had to admit that when she was asleep she had a much more innocent look about her. Kind of like a child and her favorite stuffed animal. Of course being her stuffed animal had some hazards like the fact that she was pressing on one of the spots where Ryoga got a particularly good shot in. He briefly considered moving her but one look at her face broke his resolve. There was no way that he could ever disturb someone who looked that cute so he did the next best thing.
He lay back down and tried to ignore the creaking of his ribs as she put pressure on them.
It was going to be a long night.
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The girl was dressed in black. Black was the girl dressed. Dressed was the girl and the colour was black. Yes dear reader Nabiki was clad all in black and was prepared to do some funky poaching.
Her conscience twinged a bit at the thought of stealing from her elder sister. That thought was promptly drug out in the hailstorm of yen signs and impaled.
She quietly as a ninja snuck up to the armoire that Kasumi used to store her dress. She slowly opened the door and beheld the magnificent dress that lay within. The mythrill caught whatever light that managed to get into the room and reflect it in a magnificent array of sparkles that made the garment look like it was inlayed with diamonds.
She was just about to reach for it when something hit her, flinging her back into the wall. She was then stunned when she was covered head to toe in a strong sticky substance. No matter how much she struggled she couldn't get free. In her panicked state she barely noticed the air holes in the substance ensuring that she didn't suffocate.
It was going to be a long night.
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In the morning Kasumi woke up. That's usually what one does in the mornings. Ranma of course was of the philosophy that morning didn't start till sometime after 11:59. Kasumi sat up and stretched cutely arcing her back out. She then looked to her side and saw Ranma still laying there. She smiled as she usually did and sent up a prayer that she could heal him. Of course she knew that prayers often didn't get heard and so nothing would come of it, but she did it anyway as it was sort of a habit for her. She calmly reached up and touched the small ornate cross that she always had around her neck. For a second she felt as though everything would be all right with the world.
And then the feeling was gone replaced by her bladder telling her that she had to go to the bathroom now or wet herself.
She quickly got up and rushed into the house. Once she'd finished her toilet she then proceeded to the furo to get cleaned up. Once that was done she got the furo ready for the next person and then made a quick stop in the kitchen to pick up a bag of something and then proceeded to her room to get dressed.
When she got to her room she noticed Nabiki stuck to the wall in some sort of web cocoon. The webbing was dissolving bit by bit so her head was already uncovered.
"Kasumi you've got to help me! He's crazy he just shot me with this web stuff and..." Nabiki trailed off as she noticed Kasumi wasn't listening to her.
"Thank you for guarding my dress Mr. Spiderman." She said politely in English. "Now if you could please leave as I have to get dressed." She said as she tossed him the bag.
Spiderman deftly caught the bag and pulled out a chocolate chip cookie.
"I work for cookies." He said in Japanese and then dashed out of the room.
Kasumi waited until he was gone before she pulled out her mythrill dress and put it on. She then gave the mental command to activate the glamour and make it appear as one of her normal house dresses. She'd have to thank Dr. Tofu for that book on magical items that he had, it was quite informative on their use.
She was just about to leave the room when she turned to Nabiki and said.
"You really should get ready for school Nabiki or you're going to be late." She said with her trademarked smile as she left the room.
"I'll get you yet my presssioussss." Nabiki hissed as she resumed her struggles to get free before she was late for school.
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Ranma was roused from morpheus by the sweet scent of Kasumi's cooking. Of course Kasumi's cooking had actually roused the dead before. He shuddered a bit as the town council politely forbid her from cooking within a 3 KM radius of any graveyard. With the help of some of the local dojos they managed to get the zombie problem under control. Still every so often a zombie that had been missed turned up and had to be put down.
Like that one shuffling across the lawn right now.
"Braiiiinnsss."
One particularly strong lightning bolt later and there was no further threat.
"Meeeeedddiiiiiicccc."
Well almost no threat.
Another blast and all that was left was a greasy spot on the lawn.
"Skippy! Breakfast!" Kasumi called.
Ranma jumped up forgetting that he was still injured. He winced as one of his ribs protested the jostle. Since his ribs had joined a union (CAW local 832) when one protested they all joined in to protest with it. He called in the strike breakers and beat them all into submission. Kasumi had left a big bowl of Miso soup with fish parts floating in it on the veranda. He immediately dove in snout first slurping up every bit of it. Strangely he felt better. His injuries didn't hurt as much as they did before. It was strange but he'd always felt better after he'd chowed down on some of Kasumi's food.
He looked at the clock and decided that he had enough time to make it to school he shifted back into his human form and decided to bring the pot back to Kasumi and thank her yet again for the wonderful food. All of his bruises were gone on the surface but he could still feel some deeper hurts. They would take some time to properly heal. Once he got into the house he noticed that the only two people at the table were Akane who was glaring at him like he was some kind of dark fiend and Kasumi who was just radiating happiness and peace. He had to smack down one of the bunnies when it tried to chew on his leg.
"Thanks for the food it was great Kasumi." He smiled at her.
"You're welcome Ranma. Oh my you ate Skippy's food." She frowned. "Now I'll have to feed him again."
"Ahh Kasumi you do know that I am Skippy. I can change forms now right?" He said hopeful to get through Kasumi's obliviousness. (game)
"Of course not Ranma. You turn into a girl. Skippy's a bronze dragon. Really now Ranma how dense do you think I am?" Kasumi replied as she calmly took a sip of her tea.
"Right so I'm just wearing this dog collar for the fun of it." Ranma said as he fingered the dog collar that was around his neck with the words Skippy Property of Kasumi Tendo and then the address on a tag that hung down from the heavy leather collar.
"Of course you are. I hear it's fashionable to wear collars now a days. I'm glad you're taking some interest in fashion other than your chinese shirts. I hear nipple piercing is pretty trendy right now."
"That's it I'm outta here!" Akane said as she banged her hands down on the table, got up, and stormed out of the door.
"Woah she must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Ranma commented offhandedly.
"But Ranma her bed is against the wall she can only get out one way." Kasumi said as she got up and bussed the table.
"You know that explains a lot really." He pondered the situation a bit until he saw Nabiki rush down the stairs pulling what looked like spiderwebs out of her hair and clothes.
"I'm late, I'm LATE!!" She yelled as she rushed around grabbing her bookbag and her shoes.
"Well then you should have gotten up earlier." Ranma commented nonchalantly.
"I was busy." She said as she suddenly got an idea. An evil grin spread accross her face as she regarded the pigtailed taxi service.
"Oh Ranma kun remember how you owe me a ride on your dragon form?" She said sweet as maple sugar.
"Uhh yeah?" He winced as he guessed what she wanted.
"Well I'm calling it in now. I want a ride to school." She was grinning like a pit fiend as she said this. "Oh and don't forget you owe me a couple of silver."
"Right I'll get that to you as soon as I can." Ranma said as he winced again. He'd only brought some gold coins with him. He didn't have any silver. He'd have to go back and get some.
"Well what are you waiting for we're late already!" She said as she pushed him out the veranda and onto the lawn.
Ranma turned around to see if Kasumi was watching him. Of course she had already left for the kitchen with the dirty dishes. He just hung his head and transformed.
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The human crash test dummy screamed as her ride decided that a horizontal corkscrew followed by a 180 jackknife turn would be 'fun'.
And it was fun.... for Ranma at least. Flight had always been a dream of his and now that he could actually fly he was eager to try everything he could. That loop the loop was a smash. He really didn't see what Nabiki was so mad about.
He'd caught her well before she hit the ground.
His dragon hearing caught the first warning bell and he decided that he'd had enough fun for now. He turned towards the school and raced as fast as he could towards the gates. Of course he made it with plenty of time to spare, so for a dramatic entrance he hovered over the ground before doing a zero point wingover turn before touching down.
The whole school was treated to the sight of a very disheveled Nabiki falling off a dragon's back right onto her self righteous ass. They then watched as she got down on her knees and started kissing the ground. Gos actually worked up the courage to take a picture because it would last longer. Kuno stepped up to bat but was quickly swatted away by one of Ranma's wings. The geeks were up next but they never made it in time before he transformed back into human form his mythril shirt sparkling in the daylight. Since he didn't want to stand out anymore than he already was he decided to concede to the administration. He made the glamour make his clothes look like a standard boys uniform. Only a little while ago he would do anything to stand out in a crowd. That's why he wore loud chinese shirts. He wanted to be noticed, to be acknowledged as a unique person instead of a nail that needed to be hammered down. Now that he really was different a certain degree of anonymity would be appreciated. Since most of the school already knew he was a dragon trying to hide in a crowd would be the best he could do.
Nabiki was still trying to regain her composure by loving the ground when the final late bell rung. Not wanting her to be late when she went through all the trouble of getting a ride to school this morning he decided to just grab her and jump up to her room's window. A quick deposit later and he jumped to his classroom just as the teacher was coming into the room.
"It's so good of you to be on time Mr. Saotome but next time use the door."
"Ahh sure no problem." Ranma replied as he scratched the back of his head.
"And I see you finally smartened up and came in a proper school uniform. Keep this up and we might make a respectable human being out of you yet."
The class all sweat dropped at this.
"Respectable.... human being?" He said a bit confused. Then he caught on. "Sure of course. Human being. I'll get right on that right away!" He said as he quickly took his seat.
"Good good. Now about this strange rumor that you're some kind of dragon or the like?" He asked.
"Uhh mass hallucination brought on by a combination of the cafeteria and Kodachi's potions?" Ranma offered.
"That makes much more sense than you being a mythological being." He nodded as Ockham once again proved that the simplest solution was often correct.
"All right Roll call!"
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The day was really strange. Every time the teacher turned around Ranma's desk became swamped with notes. He decided that the best way to deal with it was to ignore the problem and hope it went away. Various teachers were shocked that he hadn't gone to sleep yet and decided to humiliate him by asking him questions. Several of them had converted to Christianity and started proclaiming judgment day was nigh after he not only gave the correct answer but then proceeded to correct the teacher with a much simpler explaination than what they'd used in the first place. They were quickly dismissed as crazy. By lunch time the load bearing gum on his desk was threatening to give out. The lunch bell saved him from being crushed as he got out of his seat just as the mountain came crashing down. He made a mental note to get a new desk before next period.
When he got outside he was swamped by people trying to ask him the questions he wouldn't answer in class. Deciding that he wanted at least a little bit of peace and quiet to eat his food he jumped over the crowd and took off at high speed for the trees at the edge of the yard. At the last second he jumped into the trees then over the wall. He doubled back outside the wall so he was directly behind the school. He then leapt back over the wall and with a couple more powerful leaps he was on the roof of the school's clock tower. The only access up here was either to jump up or use the ladder. The ladder was padlocked though and only the janitorial staff had the keys for it. Only a few people would have access up here.
He opened his lunch and saw that it was anything but standard Kasumi fare. The container was filled with cooked fish. There were some vegetables and some rice but they were the minority in the meal. Oh well food was food except when it's made by Akane. He dug in and polished off the whole thing in only a few minutes. He wanted to savor the food after all. When he was done he noticed a stoppered vial that had been placed off to the right. He picked it up and examined it. It looked like a small test tube that they used in science class to mix chemicals in. It had a cork stopper to keep the blue liquid in. He carefully pulled the stopper out and took a sniff of the contents. A sniff test was indeterminate. Kasumi wouldn't try and poison him would she? Nah that was silly.
Throwing caution to the wind he tossed the contents back. He immediately felt strange. His aching ribs didn't hurt as much anymore and some of his other hurts also went away.
"Well she knows how to cook pretty much every dish on the planet so why not a healing potion." He said to himself as he put the vial and stopper back into his bento.
The sun was shining and it was extremely warm outside so he decided a little nap wouldn't kill him. He was on top of the clock tower the bell should wake him up. He dismissed his clothes and shifted into his dragon form and started sunning himself like a lizard on a rock.
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Down on the ground however the mad search was called off after he disappeared into the trees. The only person present that would be capable of following him was Ukyo and she didn't show up at school today. So the hoard did the next best thing to get their answers. They pulled out what little money they had and went in search of his less than reputable house mate. They could have asked Akane but she had that unhealthy blue glow around her all day and nobody wanted to test their health insurance anytime soon.
Nabiki of course had already set up a booth under a shade tree. Her associates already had the information packages ready to go, prices were set all they needed were customers. Nabiki smiled a cruel smile. They were going to make scads of money off this deal.
The first person hit the booth, then the next, and the next. Soon the booth was swamped and money was flying. The students knew the general drill. Toss all of your money on the counter and take the info. Sometimes you got a deal but more often than not you got screwed.
When the stampede was over Nabiki and her associates were disheveled and buried under a pile of coins and bills.
"We're rich I tell you! Rich like Nazi's!" Nabiki yelled as she totally lost it.
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An annoying loud noise woke Ranma from his nice dream of innocent maiden / evil dragon. He was a little disturbed that the innocent maiden looked like Kasumi in a slave girl outfit and he was the evil dragon that had kidnapped her. Freud would have a field day with his mind. Hmm there was an idea. Everybody and their dog was always kidnapping Akane, why not Kasumi? After all there should be equality in kidnappings.
With his mind made up to kidnap Kasumi when he got home he decided to get some sleep for the rest of his lunch hour. That's when the importance of the loud ringing noise that had originally woke him up came back to him.
Crap he was going to be late!
Quickly shifting back to his human form he donned his clothes and jumped off the tower. He used the side of the building to slingshot himself towards his classroom window. He managed to snag the window frame on his way by cracking it. He flipped himself inside and towards his new desk. He landed milliseconds before the teacher came into the room. The teacher was in a set of brown robes and was carrying a sign that said Revelations 6:9.
Ranma decided that he should continue his nap if for nothing else but to keep the peace. Besides the evil dragon was just about to toy with the heroic knight as he foolishly tried to take away his prize.
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The rest of the day passed more or less uneventfully. When the final bell rung Ranma was out of his seat and out the window. He quickly leapt to the roof then to the roof of the clock tower. He needed to rush if he was going to get home before the other two Tendo sisters.
He transformed and jumped off the building. Unlike with Nabiki in the morning this time he headed back to the house at top speed. He landed in the yard as Kasumi was putting up the laundry.
"Hey Kasumi!" Ranma said as he dashed past her into the house.
"Hello Skippy, did you have fun today?" Kasumi said still hanging clothes on the line.
Ranma didn't respond right away as he didn't hear her. When he came out again Kasumi had just finished the last article and was gathering up the basket. Ranma had taken the time to get a small backpack and load it down with food etc. He smiled as he saw her.
"Ok get on my back." He said as he lowered himself down.
"Why? I've got to start on supper." Kasumi said as she started fretting.
"Oh that's fine, they're going to order out tonight. I'm kidnapping you!" Ranma said as he passed the backpack to her.
"Oh my I've never been kidnapped before." Kasumi said with a little smile on her face. "Do you think a handsome knight will come charging to my rescue?"
"Who knows." Ranma said as he shrugged. "Well we should probably get going before your sisters get back."
"Oh of course." She said as she climbed onto his back and held onto one of his spines. "Ok you can kidnap me now."
Ranma gave his wings a few flaps to try and get off the ground. He knew that Kasumi was bigger than Nabiki and therefore would be heavier but he never imagined that she'd be this much heavier. Nothing he couldn't handle though.
Now how to tell Kasumi that her ass is too fat.
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Akane stormed out of the school. Ranma the jerk didn't even wait for them like he usually did. Never mind the fact that she'd cancelled the engagement and he was no longer obligated to even care if she was alive. Of course none of that mattered. Ranma was her property and damn it she wanted a ride home.
"Grr. I'm so going to trash him when we get home." Akane growled out.
She'd been pestered all day by the nerds and geeks about what it was like to live with a dragon, if she'd ridden him or if he'd ridden her, and if they could get some pictures of said riding. She got so frustrated that she blew up at them saying in no uncertain terms that the engagement between her and that monster was off. Of course they attacked her thinking that the beat Akane to date her was back on since her engagement was apparently off permanently. It was a good thing that Kuno was not around or that blowhard would have it spread all over the school right about now that the beat Akane to date her was back on in full force, and that the evil monster Ranma Saotome would do nothing to stop it.
Nabiki was thinking about all the money she'd made over lunch and as such couldn't care less what her homicidal little sister was going on about. Now if she could only get some scales the nerds would pay hand over fist to get them. Ooooh and dragon rides for children! Maybe models and t-shirts, coffee mugs. The real money wasn't in Ranma himself but the MERCHANDISING!
Little yen signs started flying around her head thinking of the great college she'd be able to buy admission to, the great job she'd be able to get because of her money and eventually the small planet she'd be able to purchase where she'd be proclaimed deity and worshipped like the goddess she was. Of course it would go a lot faster if she could get a hold of Ranma's horde of treasure and magic stuff. The first step would be to get Kasumi's dress and pawn it off.
The gods were laughing really they were.
As the two sisters, one stewing in righteous anger and the other stewing in absolute greed, arrived at the gates to the Tendo home they both heard a faint wail like the cry of a lost soul who'd lost their best friend, car, house, and wife all in the same day, and to top it off somebody had just came by and eaten their last cookie, coming from inside the house.
Their father was apparently home.
They entered the main foyer and removed their shoes and put on their house slippers. They tracked sonic vibrations to the dining room where their father was sitting clutching a piece of paper in his hands and soaking the floor in a flow of tears. It was Tendo wail #1 Something happened to my little girl(s) and I can't do anything about it.
The man himself had a cast on his left arm and bandages wrapping his head. His right leg had a cast on it as well. They couldn't see much but they also guessed that his ribs were bandaged up. His arm cast had several female names and phone numbers on it. Nabiki guessed that they were the single nurses.
"So daddy what is it this time? Akane's right here so she hasn't been kidnapped." Nabiki said in obvious disgust at her parental unit's lack of stability.
Instead of answer her he just handed her the paper and went back to wailing at the heavens for this tragedy. Nabiki who was just slightly curious took the paper and attempted to read it.
I have kidnaped Kasumi Tendo. If you want her back come to the cave (there were some rudimentary directions that were smudged by Soun's tears) and prepare for motral combat to rescue her.
Mwahaha haha ha. Oh yes and HA!
Evil Dragon Ranma Saotome
Apparently being a dragon and more intelligent didn't seem to help his penmanship or spelling any. In any case it would be too difficult to mount any kind of rescue. He'll bring her back in a day or two anyway so no need to really worry. Now how could she have fun with this...
"Don't worry daddy Kasumi's just fine." Nabiki said soothingly. "Ranma's probably just playing innocent maiden / Evil dragon." Now for the kicker. "It's probably some kind of kinky dragon sex game." Although the images of Kasumi being mother to a whole litter of little winged lizards flashed through her mind and she had to repress a shudder at the thought.
"SEX GAME!!!!!" Soun roared as his demon head popped into existence. Nabiki noted that it even had the little flaming eyebrows and mustache and the screaming tortured souls floating around it. Daddy must be royally pissed off about now.
"SEX GAME!!!!!" Akane screamed as she unconsciously learned her father's technique.
"And now it begins." Nabiki said more to herself than the other two raging members of her family.
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Authors notes:
I thought that I should cut it off here. Before anybody starts sending me a 'Ranma can kick Ryoga's ass any day of the week' hate mail I'd like to tell you a bit about how I've decided to write this story.
I have rolled up Ranma, Ryoga, and Kasumi so far. I rolled the combat scene as if it were a normal fight. Ranma was suffering the penalties associated with being in a new shape that he was unfamiliar with. That and Ryoga just rolled a hell of a lot better than Ranma. (stupid d20) I also rolled the saves for Akane's cooking. He just made the save vs death, he totally made the save vs poison, and he rolled a natural failure on the save vs paralysis.
Many thanks to my prereaders
Lord Raa, Axekeeper, Chi Vayne, and KM