Rain suddenly got up from where she was sitting. "I have to go somewhere"
she said quickly, ask she walked to the bathroom. "You have to stay here
and baby-sit Jake, ok?"
"Where are you going?" I asked. I had a lot of questions and wanted to
talk.
"Just." she stopped for a second. "I have something to do at the UON
(meaning University of New York)
"Oh" I said. "Ok". I turned around and stared at her while she was brushing
her teeth. What does she have to do at the University? I didn't think the
orientation or the day when she picks her classes or whatever wasn't until
late August. It is only early July.
I had nothing to do for the night. Jake wouldn't be up for at least
another hour, and I had nowhere to go. Kevin was at a camping trip with
his dad and my best friend, Tara, was staying with her mom in Colorado
until the rest of the month. Her parents are separated so she has so
switch off living with between her mom and dad.
"Bye, Summer" Rain said "Be back in an hour or so" and she walked out the
door. I continued to watch tv. Just as I had suspected Jake didn't wake
up for another hour. During that time I just watched tv, but I didn't
really. I just stared at the screen and thought about stuff. It was
around 5:30 when I heard Jake call for me from his room. I went over.
"Hey.look who's up!" I said in a playful but tired voice.
"Me!" Jake yelled.
"So, how was the nap?" I asked hoping he had forgotten about the candy.
"Good" he said.
"Are you hungry?" I sat on the edge of the bed.
"YES!" Jake yelled.
"ok, let's go get something for you to eat."
"YAY!" he yelled as he climbed on my back for yet another piggy back ride. He was getting too big for those, or maybe I just wasn't strong enough since I hadn't eaten much in the last 5 days. I was skinny anyway, I lost more weight in the last week. We walked towards the kitchen. I noticed Rain's car keys on the counter. 'She must be home' I thought to myself although I couldn't see her anywhere. I set Jake on one of the stools near the bar. He was wiping his eyes and yawning, trying to get rid of the sleep in his eyes. I frowned a little when I thought about Jake growing up without mom and dad. Jake maybe even forgetting what mom and dad look like. He's only 5; he sure isn't going to remember mom and dad 10 years from now! I was miserable. Why aren't people more careful when they're driving? Can't they ever think about the effect, the passengers' death will have on their loved ones? That's what the priest had said. I rolled my eyes when he said it at first, thinking, hell, yea! Of course it's going to have an effect on them! But it's too late now! I guess there is no way to stop bad drivers from killing people everyday. But, it just hurts the family of the victims. I was mad! No, I was furious! Why couldn't they have taken a difference cab instead of the one they picked? I came back to reality when Jake yelled, "Helloooooo? Earth to Summer!!!!" he started saying that after dad. Whenever I would daydream around him, my dad would yell "Helloooooo? Earth the Summer!!!!" After a while Jake picked up on it and now whenever I drift away into my thoughts, he brings me back to reality by yelling in my face. I smiled. "Hey" I was back. "Ok, so peanut butter and jelly?" I asked knowing the answer already, peanut butter and jelly was Jake's favorite. "Yup" he said cheerfully. How could he know about the awful situation and still smile the way he did right now? How could he still be so cheerful? I guess a long nap can fix anything for a five year old. I took some jam out of the refrigerator and some bread and peanut butter out of the cabinet. I was spreading the jelly on the bread when Rain walked in. "Guess what?" she asked. This was the first time I heard her sound a little bit happy ever since the accident. "What?" I asked tiredly. "We're moving to Tulsa, Oklahoma!" What was that? Move-Tulsa-Oklahoma? NO WAY! What was she talking about? "What?" I asked, dropping my knife. "We're moving to Tulsa!" she repeated. I heard move and Tulsa again. Where the hell is Tulsa? "Move WHERE?" "Ya know, Oklahoma! I just got transferred to the University of Oklahoma. I'm going to go to collage there! And, well, since you guys are under my guardianship, you will be moving with me! And there we can start a whole new life and all that." she was sounding way to over ecstatic on this! Is she actually thinking about moving us there? In the middle of nowhere? In the country? I grew up in the city; I can't give it up now! I can't leave all my friends and my boyfriend! "TULSA!?" I guess I sounded kinda loud and mad cuz Jake hopped off the stool and wrapped his arms around Rain. "What the hell are you think your doing? Don't you think my life's screwed up enough without you having this crazy idea about moving us to TULSA!?" I guess I was yelling again cuz Jake only buried his face into Rain's leg more. "Jake, why don't you go upstairs to your room and play with your toys for a while, huh? Summer and I have to talk. "Ok, so spill, what is this shit about moving to Tulsa?" I asked after Jake was gone. "Don't talk trashy while the kids in the house, you hear?" "You DIDN'T answer my question! How do you expect us to move? You wanna sell the house and buy one in Tulsa and just pack everything up and move?" "Yes, exactly!" I couldn't believe her! How could she just expect me (us) to leave my (our) whole life behind and start a new one? Did she finally lose it? I would think so; I mean how can you go through your parents' funeral without crying once? Not even when they lowered the bodies into the ground? (Don't remember, don't remember!) Even Jake had cried even though he had no idea what was going on! "How could you expect me to do that?" "Just leave everything behind and start a new life? How is this so easy to you?" "I just..." she stopped for a second, stared at the ground and when she looked up, I noticed she was crying. Rain, never cried. She made herself tough and mean. I mean she was a sweet girl, I'm just saying she could keep cool during bad times. She hadn't even cried when her football quarterback boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her. She just totally kept cool and swore at him a while, then slapped him hard across the face and walked away. I was there. It was only last fall. Her last year of high school. She recovered quickly though, she didn't even think twice about going back to him. She just found a new and better boyfriend- fastest pitcher of the softball team. I awake from my thoughts once more. ".I just want to forget all the good times we had with mom and dad and the thought of never seeing them again." She stopped again, tears making their way down her cheeks. "Don't you get it? I have to get away! Or else I can't take it! I can't! For once.I can't take it!" We were quite for a long time. After a while, I started crying too. "God you're such a baby!" Rain said laughing, trying to hold anymore of the tears back. "Talk for yourself!" I snapped. "I ain't no baby!" I yelled, but stopped crying, Rain was back to her usual, mean, cold, hard self. I wasn't going to cry when she was all tough. I could just be as tough as her. "I just think that if I get away from here then I can forget, ya know?" I sighed. My god! She was guilting me into moving, in other words doing what she wants. "I dunno" I said "this is not something that you can just expect me to decide in like a minute!" I said, raising my voice a little. "I know!" she snapped. "But would you rather be stuck in a home somewhere, separated from us?" Oh, my god! She was telling me that I either have to do whatever she wants me to do or she will stick me in a home somewhere! My, god, she's so bossy! "Oh, so you would put me in a house or something?" I snapped. How could she be so mean? I was her sister, for god's sake! "I didn't mean that, I just have to get away! I dunno why! I just have to! And I'm taking you and Jake with me!" Oh, so now I had no choice but to go! "No!" I yelled! "I can't decide this right now! God! I can't believe you would actually move us to Tulsa!! Why not California or Florida? Why Tulsa?" Before I could hear why we both heard a knock on the door. "We will talk more about this, but you better get packin, young lady!" Geez when did she get so parenty! She's not my mom, my mom died a week ago and no one can replace her! I ran up to my room, I didn't even care to find out who it was at the door. I hopped on my bed, and thought for a long time. What would it be like lying down in a different room? I don't think I could do it. I grew up in this house; I couldn't just leave all the memories behind. Finally I decided to sleep on it.
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
The next morning I woke up around 11. I lied in bed for a while. Then I decided to get up and see what Jake and Rain were doing. I walked to the bathroom, took a cool shower and dressed quickly. I slid down the handrail of the stairs like I do every morning, after a little jump off the end, I landed on my feet. I could smell someone cooking bacon omelet in the kitchen, like mom used to everyday. Ugh! Rain's making me breakfast to butter me up, I thought, but I was wrong. When I walked into the kitchen I noticed Jake sitting on the table eating his omelet and I was shocked to see Tara pouring orange juice to Rain and Kevin in front of the stove, making omelets. I ran up and hugged him tightly and gave him a little kiss. It was only a little one because Rain and Jake were their but it was enough! I couldn't figure out why they were both here though. I was just so happy! Next I hugged Tara. "Hey, hun!" she yelled. "Hey!" I said. "What are you doing here?"
and suddenly I knew. I went cold. I didn't even give Tara to answer my questions. I just started questioning Rain. "You called them didn't you?" I said angrily. "You told them we were moving! Well, I'm not! I would rather be stuck in a home than to move!" I suddenly stormed out of the kitchen and went to my room. I dunno why I was so mad, I didn't even really know if Rain really was the reason Kevin and Tara were here. I was happy they were here, but I was suddenly caught up at the idea of never seeing them again. This being out last time together. This was probably not true. We would visit, if (if!) we moved. Plane tickets were no problem; we were all from wealthy families. But just the idea of never spending time together again, everyday, ever minute of our lives, like we do. The thought of leaving my boyfriend, never kissing him again. The sudden thought of him moving on and kissing another girl. Uh- oh, here comes the waterworks. I couldn't help myself. Losing my best friend, boyfriend, and parents all in 1 week was too much! I couldn't take it! I just lay there crying for a while. Then I heard a knock on my door. I looked up, it was Tara. I started crying harder. She came over and hugged me. God, I'll miss her! Wait, back up! 'I'll miss her'? Why am I talking like we are leaving? God, I'm so mixed up! "So what's the shit about you moving away?" Tara asked. "I dunno, Rain wants to move away, to forget mom and dad, I guess" so it wasn't Rain that called them and asked them to come, but I was still pissed off at her. "Oh, hun, I'm so sorry about that. Losing you're parents must be hard" "You have no idea" I told her. She possibly couldn't, but then again, her parents did get divorced. I just miss them so much! My mom and I were so close and now she's dead. "I'll be fine though!" Tara assured me, like she knew for sure it'd be alright. "How do you know?" I snapped. "You didn't lose a parent! I lost both!" "I know. but we're here for you" she said in a soothing voice. "I'm sorry" I knew then, I wanted to move away. I wanted to! I couldn't take people's pity! I wanted to move away to a place where no one would know my history, my parents' death. A place to start over.a place like Tulsa. I suddenly got up and left Tara on my bead. I ran down the stairs, and into the kitchen. "Let's do it!" I said "Do what?" Rain asked "Let's move to Tulsa!" I said, shocked by my own voice. I was actually smiling and even sounding happy a little bit. Rain didn't ask any questions. I knew she understood why I wanted to move. I wanted to start a new life too. To forget. "Ok" she said. Then she did something that really surprised me, she got up and hugged me. Rain never hugged me! I was her little sister. The sister she thought to be annoying and a tag-along. I hugged back. She pulled away and muttered something about going to call the real estate agent to help us sell the house and buy a new one in Tulsa. I was left alone in the kitchen with Kevin and Jake. "Jake." I said. Tara came in right then, I guess she understood cuz she took Jake to go up to his room to play. We were silent for a while, just standing there staring at each other. "So...Tulsa." he broke the silence. "Yup" I said, "Look Kev, I'm so sorry. I just have to get away!" He shushed me by putting his finger on my lips. "It's ok," he said "I know." God, I had the best boyfriend in the world. Had? Wow, I was already talking like he's part of my past already. "Thank you" is all I said, before we kissed for a long time, knowing we wouldn't be able to do it again. For a while anyway. He took my hand and led me to the kitchen table. We sat down and enjoyed the breakfast he had made. Maybe the last time we would really be together again.
"Are you hungry?" I sat on the edge of the bed.
"YES!" Jake yelled.
"ok, let's go get something for you to eat."
"YAY!" he yelled as he climbed on my back for yet another piggy back ride. He was getting too big for those, or maybe I just wasn't strong enough since I hadn't eaten much in the last 5 days. I was skinny anyway, I lost more weight in the last week. We walked towards the kitchen. I noticed Rain's car keys on the counter. 'She must be home' I thought to myself although I couldn't see her anywhere. I set Jake on one of the stools near the bar. He was wiping his eyes and yawning, trying to get rid of the sleep in his eyes. I frowned a little when I thought about Jake growing up without mom and dad. Jake maybe even forgetting what mom and dad look like. He's only 5; he sure isn't going to remember mom and dad 10 years from now! I was miserable. Why aren't people more careful when they're driving? Can't they ever think about the effect, the passengers' death will have on their loved ones? That's what the priest had said. I rolled my eyes when he said it at first, thinking, hell, yea! Of course it's going to have an effect on them! But it's too late now! I guess there is no way to stop bad drivers from killing people everyday. But, it just hurts the family of the victims. I was mad! No, I was furious! Why couldn't they have taken a difference cab instead of the one they picked? I came back to reality when Jake yelled, "Helloooooo? Earth to Summer!!!!" he started saying that after dad. Whenever I would daydream around him, my dad would yell "Helloooooo? Earth the Summer!!!!" After a while Jake picked up on it and now whenever I drift away into my thoughts, he brings me back to reality by yelling in my face. I smiled. "Hey" I was back. "Ok, so peanut butter and jelly?" I asked knowing the answer already, peanut butter and jelly was Jake's favorite. "Yup" he said cheerfully. How could he know about the awful situation and still smile the way he did right now? How could he still be so cheerful? I guess a long nap can fix anything for a five year old. I took some jam out of the refrigerator and some bread and peanut butter out of the cabinet. I was spreading the jelly on the bread when Rain walked in. "Guess what?" she asked. This was the first time I heard her sound a little bit happy ever since the accident. "What?" I asked tiredly. "We're moving to Tulsa, Oklahoma!" What was that? Move-Tulsa-Oklahoma? NO WAY! What was she talking about? "What?" I asked, dropping my knife. "We're moving to Tulsa!" she repeated. I heard move and Tulsa again. Where the hell is Tulsa? "Move WHERE?" "Ya know, Oklahoma! I just got transferred to the University of Oklahoma. I'm going to go to collage there! And, well, since you guys are under my guardianship, you will be moving with me! And there we can start a whole new life and all that." she was sounding way to over ecstatic on this! Is she actually thinking about moving us there? In the middle of nowhere? In the country? I grew up in the city; I can't give it up now! I can't leave all my friends and my boyfriend! "TULSA!?" I guess I sounded kinda loud and mad cuz Jake hopped off the stool and wrapped his arms around Rain. "What the hell are you think your doing? Don't you think my life's screwed up enough without you having this crazy idea about moving us to TULSA!?" I guess I was yelling again cuz Jake only buried his face into Rain's leg more. "Jake, why don't you go upstairs to your room and play with your toys for a while, huh? Summer and I have to talk. "Ok, so spill, what is this shit about moving to Tulsa?" I asked after Jake was gone. "Don't talk trashy while the kids in the house, you hear?" "You DIDN'T answer my question! How do you expect us to move? You wanna sell the house and buy one in Tulsa and just pack everything up and move?" "Yes, exactly!" I couldn't believe her! How could she just expect me (us) to leave my (our) whole life behind and start a new one? Did she finally lose it? I would think so; I mean how can you go through your parents' funeral without crying once? Not even when they lowered the bodies into the ground? (Don't remember, don't remember!) Even Jake had cried even though he had no idea what was going on! "How could you expect me to do that?" "Just leave everything behind and start a new life? How is this so easy to you?" "I just..." she stopped for a second, stared at the ground and when she looked up, I noticed she was crying. Rain, never cried. She made herself tough and mean. I mean she was a sweet girl, I'm just saying she could keep cool during bad times. She hadn't even cried when her football quarterback boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her. She just totally kept cool and swore at him a while, then slapped him hard across the face and walked away. I was there. It was only last fall. Her last year of high school. She recovered quickly though, she didn't even think twice about going back to him. She just found a new and better boyfriend- fastest pitcher of the softball team. I awake from my thoughts once more. ".I just want to forget all the good times we had with mom and dad and the thought of never seeing them again." She stopped again, tears making their way down her cheeks. "Don't you get it? I have to get away! Or else I can't take it! I can't! For once.I can't take it!" We were quite for a long time. After a while, I started crying too. "God you're such a baby!" Rain said laughing, trying to hold anymore of the tears back. "Talk for yourself!" I snapped. "I ain't no baby!" I yelled, but stopped crying, Rain was back to her usual, mean, cold, hard self. I wasn't going to cry when she was all tough. I could just be as tough as her. "I just think that if I get away from here then I can forget, ya know?" I sighed. My god! She was guilting me into moving, in other words doing what she wants. "I dunno" I said "this is not something that you can just expect me to decide in like a minute!" I said, raising my voice a little. "I know!" she snapped. "But would you rather be stuck in a home somewhere, separated from us?" Oh, my god! She was telling me that I either have to do whatever she wants me to do or she will stick me in a home somewhere! My, god, she's so bossy! "Oh, so you would put me in a house or something?" I snapped. How could she be so mean? I was her sister, for god's sake! "I didn't mean that, I just have to get away! I dunno why! I just have to! And I'm taking you and Jake with me!" Oh, so now I had no choice but to go! "No!" I yelled! "I can't decide this right now! God! I can't believe you would actually move us to Tulsa!! Why not California or Florida? Why Tulsa?" Before I could hear why we both heard a knock on the door. "We will talk more about this, but you better get packin, young lady!" Geez when did she get so parenty! She's not my mom, my mom died a week ago and no one can replace her! I ran up to my room, I didn't even care to find out who it was at the door. I hopped on my bed, and thought for a long time. What would it be like lying down in a different room? I don't think I could do it. I grew up in this house; I couldn't just leave all the memories behind. Finally I decided to sleep on it.
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
The next morning I woke up around 11. I lied in bed for a while. Then I decided to get up and see what Jake and Rain were doing. I walked to the bathroom, took a cool shower and dressed quickly. I slid down the handrail of the stairs like I do every morning, after a little jump off the end, I landed on my feet. I could smell someone cooking bacon omelet in the kitchen, like mom used to everyday. Ugh! Rain's making me breakfast to butter me up, I thought, but I was wrong. When I walked into the kitchen I noticed Jake sitting on the table eating his omelet and I was shocked to see Tara pouring orange juice to Rain and Kevin in front of the stove, making omelets. I ran up and hugged him tightly and gave him a little kiss. It was only a little one because Rain and Jake were their but it was enough! I couldn't figure out why they were both here though. I was just so happy! Next I hugged Tara. "Hey, hun!" she yelled. "Hey!" I said. "What are you doing here?"
and suddenly I knew. I went cold. I didn't even give Tara to answer my questions. I just started questioning Rain. "You called them didn't you?" I said angrily. "You told them we were moving! Well, I'm not! I would rather be stuck in a home than to move!" I suddenly stormed out of the kitchen and went to my room. I dunno why I was so mad, I didn't even really know if Rain really was the reason Kevin and Tara were here. I was happy they were here, but I was suddenly caught up at the idea of never seeing them again. This being out last time together. This was probably not true. We would visit, if (if!) we moved. Plane tickets were no problem; we were all from wealthy families. But just the idea of never spending time together again, everyday, ever minute of our lives, like we do. The thought of leaving my boyfriend, never kissing him again. The sudden thought of him moving on and kissing another girl. Uh- oh, here comes the waterworks. I couldn't help myself. Losing my best friend, boyfriend, and parents all in 1 week was too much! I couldn't take it! I just lay there crying for a while. Then I heard a knock on my door. I looked up, it was Tara. I started crying harder. She came over and hugged me. God, I'll miss her! Wait, back up! 'I'll miss her'? Why am I talking like we are leaving? God, I'm so mixed up! "So what's the shit about you moving away?" Tara asked. "I dunno, Rain wants to move away, to forget mom and dad, I guess" so it wasn't Rain that called them and asked them to come, but I was still pissed off at her. "Oh, hun, I'm so sorry about that. Losing you're parents must be hard" "You have no idea" I told her. She possibly couldn't, but then again, her parents did get divorced. I just miss them so much! My mom and I were so close and now she's dead. "I'll be fine though!" Tara assured me, like she knew for sure it'd be alright. "How do you know?" I snapped. "You didn't lose a parent! I lost both!" "I know. but we're here for you" she said in a soothing voice. "I'm sorry" I knew then, I wanted to move away. I wanted to! I couldn't take people's pity! I wanted to move away to a place where no one would know my history, my parents' death. A place to start over.a place like Tulsa. I suddenly got up and left Tara on my bead. I ran down the stairs, and into the kitchen. "Let's do it!" I said "Do what?" Rain asked "Let's move to Tulsa!" I said, shocked by my own voice. I was actually smiling and even sounding happy a little bit. Rain didn't ask any questions. I knew she understood why I wanted to move. I wanted to start a new life too. To forget. "Ok" she said. Then she did something that really surprised me, she got up and hugged me. Rain never hugged me! I was her little sister. The sister she thought to be annoying and a tag-along. I hugged back. She pulled away and muttered something about going to call the real estate agent to help us sell the house and buy a new one in Tulsa. I was left alone in the kitchen with Kevin and Jake. "Jake." I said. Tara came in right then, I guess she understood cuz she took Jake to go up to his room to play. We were silent for a while, just standing there staring at each other. "So...Tulsa." he broke the silence. "Yup" I said, "Look Kev, I'm so sorry. I just have to get away!" He shushed me by putting his finger on my lips. "It's ok," he said "I know." God, I had the best boyfriend in the world. Had? Wow, I was already talking like he's part of my past already. "Thank you" is all I said, before we kissed for a long time, knowing we wouldn't be able to do it again. For a while anyway. He took my hand and led me to the kitchen table. We sat down and enjoyed the breakfast he had made. Maybe the last time we would really be together again.