After a purposely long journey home Jack walked through the door and made sure it clicked tightly shut behind him. He then placed his metal key through the hole and locked it too. He knew he was being stupid, but he had to do it, Walsh was gone, and he wanted to make a point of it. He walked through the kitchen into the living room where he saw Terri sat in his arm chair, wearing an old white shirt with some loose fitting jeans, holding their silver portable phone in her hand. He took a moment to study her and he couldn't help but notice how she looked worried, and something else too, disappointed, he thought. He had no idea what was wrong, but was quick to find out. Sensing his confusion Terri spoke, her voice a mixture of softness and anger.
"Nina rang."
"Oh, did she say why?" Jack asked, confused.
"Yes she did. She wanted to check that you were okay, what with the funeral and all."
Jack didn't respond, he didn't know what to say.
"You did not tell me that it was Richard Walsh... Jack..." Her voice softened as she spoke of Richard, she could only imagine what he was going through. As she said his name her voice screamed of compassion, which was exactly what he didn't want, he didn't need.
"What does it matter, he's gone, theirs nothing I can do about it now." He said coldly, before turning away and heading towards the kitchen, making sure his back was to her as he poured a glass of cold water.
"Why didn't you tell me Jack?" Terri asked from behind.
Jack didn't reply, he couldn't put his explanation into words which she would understand, they were both coming from different ends of the spectrum.
"You told Nina." She said quietly, allowing a little of the jealously she was feeling show through.
Placing the glass down on the marble counter top Jack slowly turned around.
"What?" He asked, his voice strained, he knew what she was thinking.
"I'm just wondering why Nina is on the phone trying to console you about something you never bothered to even mention to your wife!" Terri said, raising her voice and the tempo, failing to keep herself calm, as she had earlier intended.
"What are you implying?" Jack replied, his tone short and sharp, serious.
"I'm not implying anything, I'm trying to understand this is all! You tell a co-worker about something as big as this, that someone as important to you as Richard has passed away, but you do not tell me. What was I supposed to think today, Jack, that everything was okay, when for all I know you could be hurting inside?" She yelled, now hoping her volume would help express her point to him, she knew how difficult it was to get through to him sometimes, especially on emotional topics.
Jack looked at her, and spoke in a deep tone that made Terries skin shudder. "Richard didn't pass away, he was murdered."
With that he turned and walked straight past her, never breaking eye contact out onto the back lawn where he sat down on the paved step leading onto the garden. He was angry at himself for his final comment, surely that would only encourage Terri to pry for details when he wanted her to drop the entire thing. But more so, he was mad at her implication about Nina, but not at her, at himself - for he could not outwardly deny it, seen as something had happened in the past between them, something she didn't know about, despite his failed attempts to tell her.
Terri watched him sit down and hold his head in his hands through the white blinds in the kitchen window. She was mad at herself for how she had just behaved, after all, Richard had died, and she knew how close the two were, and how upset he must be. She was still a little hurt about Nina knowing, but then she guessed that she probably knew because she worked for the same government branch he did, and it wasn't exactly going to be a secret. She was now annoyed at herself for not thinking things through, so she decided she would try to bury her suspicions of Nina, at least until a time where Jack would be fit to argue with her.
She walked down the steps and stopped at the bottom one, sitting down on the hard grey concrete next to him.
"I'm sorry sweetie, it was stupid of me to say such a thing. I'm sorry about Richard though, I really am." She spoke softly, hoping to convince him her words were true.
"Thanks." Jack whispered, turning to face her as he gently held her hand. As soon as he did this he couldn't help but notice Terri squirm.
"I'm going to get some work done in the study for a while, so if you need me just shout."
She didn't wait for a reply, she got up, briefly and lightly toughed his shoulder for support, then left, just as soon as she had appeared, Jack thought. Something was not wrong, he was almost certain now, he was just beginning to wonder if it was him, or if something had maybe happened, although he didn't have a clue what. He decided he would wait before he asked her about it, today just wasn't the right time.
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