.hackSTUPIDFRIGGINGLITCH
DISCLAIMER: I don't own .hack. Bandai does. Go whine to them or something.
Author's Note: Someone once said this didn't really belong in humor. So, I present you with a (hopefully) funny chapter. This is also a spooky Halloween special, seeing as how Halloween is just around the corner! So be happy!
... Or else. (:
October 31st, and it was that time again...! No, not hingle-fingle time. EVENT TIME! The time where lots of players show up at a selected field to compete for the RARE ITEM PRIZE OMG!
This, of course, attracted the attention of one Rare Hunter, Mistral. Her excited squeals filled Mac Anu's square as the event was announced. "Did'ja hear that, Magus?! RARE ITEM! RARE ITEM!"
The Phase, who was standing right beside her, turned to look at the Wavemaster. "Yes, I heard... Now stop screaming, or my ear drums will explode."
Mistral apologized, and then grabbed Magus's arm, ran to the Chaos Gate, shouted the keyword and off the two of them warped. Upon arrival, the duo saw that they were standing in a graveyard at night. The red moon was hidden by the clouds, and dead trees were all over the place. Ahead of them stood an old looking mansion. Rotting wooden shutters hung from broken windows, odd weird noises came from inside, red stains covered the bottom corner of the front door... Blood?
Who knows.
"Wowwwwwww! Spooky!" Mistral said, "I'm so excited!"
Magus sighed. "Don't get too worked up, or I'll have to tie you to a pole and duct tape your mouth to get you to calm down. Now then, correct me if I'm wrong. We're supposed to go inside this house, find the back door and exit that way? That shouldn't be too hard." And with that, he walked up to the door, grabbed the handle, and tugged. "Stupid thing won't open."
Mistral rushed over. "No, silly," she explained, "You gotta KNOCK first!" She grabbed the large brass knocker, which was in the shape of the head of Fenrir, the monster wolf from Norse mythology. The handle of the knocker, the part that Mistral was holding on to, was in the shape of Jormungand, the giant serpent, from Norse mythology as well, that clamps onto and constantly eats its own tail. She slammed the knocker as hard as she could against the large door, flinging dust everywhere.
For a minute, nothing happened. Magus looked over to Mistral, then to the door, and then back at Mistral. "Nothing's happeni-" His sentence was cut short as a trap door opened underneath them and the two dropped down into the darkness below.
"Oof!" Magus had landed on his stomach, winding him.
The rare item obsessed Wavemaster landed on top of The Propagation. "You're comfy." She remarked, grinning.
"That's quite nice, now please get off of me." The Phase said, a hint of aggravation in his voice.
"Okie-Dokie!" Mistral said, rolling off of Magus and standing up. After a quick session of dusting herself off, she helped Magus up and he dusted himself off as well. "Where do you think we are?" The Wavemaster asked.
"How should I know..." Magus replied. He looked around the area, which seemed to be something like a dungeon. The walls were made of grey stone bricks with holes worn down all over the place and slime covering each stone. There was only a sliver of moonlight shining down from the small crack where the trapdoor they fell down was. His examination of the area was cut short, as Magus heard Mistral's frightened cry. He turned around to see Mistral pointing at something behind them.
It was a guillotine. It's once-shiny blade was now red with rust... or maybe it wasn't even rust at all. "Yes, it's a guillotine. And?" Magus said, not seeing why Mistral would be so afraid of something that couldn't kill you unless someone wanted it to.
"N-Not that! THAT!!" The Wavemaster cried, pointing to something on the floor beside the torture device. It was round-looking and the top was very fuzzy... Magus bent down to get a closer look at what it was...
... A head. It's eyes were wide with horror and it's mouth open in a silent scream. Blood stains surrounded it, showing that it was in the same position it had always been since the unlucky victim had been decapitated. Now, normally, the sight of this probably wouldn't scare too many people... maybe the slightly squeamish people, but that's it. But since this head had been sitting here for so long, it was rotting. Parts of it had already rotted down to the bone, but most of it was red and white flesh which had a melting appearance.
The head's right eye socket was empty, and so was the left, but the left was empty in a different way. The left eyeball was hanging out by the purplish optic nerve, which was also decomposing.
The eyeball was literally melting. Chunks of it oozed from the center, most likely the pupil and the iris.
Magus kicked the head, and it toppled over. A disgusted look crossed The Propagation's face as hundreds of maggots began to crawl out of the eyes and mouth.
"EWWWWW!!!!" Mistral whined. "IT'S ICKY AND SCARY WAAAH-" Magus clapped his hand to Mistral's mouth and shushed her. He then took his hand away and whispered, "Do you hear that...?"
Mistral shook her head, so Magus continued, "It sounds like footsteps, accompanied by a dragging noise..." Step, Step, Draggggg. Step, Step, Dragggg. The noise echoed throughout the area. It was as if somebody was walking around dragging a blanket or a towel on the ground behind them. Step, Step, Draggggg. Step, Step, Dragggg.
And it was coming right towards them.
Step, Step, Dragggg. Step, Step, Draggg...
D What will happen? You'll have to wait and see! And I apologize for the delay, I was having writer's block. xx;
DISCLAIMER: I don't own .hack. Bandai does. Go whine to them or something.
Author's Note: Someone once said this didn't really belong in humor. So, I present you with a (hopefully) funny chapter. This is also a spooky Halloween special, seeing as how Halloween is just around the corner! So be happy!
... Or else. (:
October 31st, and it was that time again...! No, not hingle-fingle time. EVENT TIME! The time where lots of players show up at a selected field to compete for the RARE ITEM PRIZE OMG!
This, of course, attracted the attention of one Rare Hunter, Mistral. Her excited squeals filled Mac Anu's square as the event was announced. "Did'ja hear that, Magus?! RARE ITEM! RARE ITEM!"
The Phase, who was standing right beside her, turned to look at the Wavemaster. "Yes, I heard... Now stop screaming, or my ear drums will explode."
Mistral apologized, and then grabbed Magus's arm, ran to the Chaos Gate, shouted the keyword and off the two of them warped. Upon arrival, the duo saw that they were standing in a graveyard at night. The red moon was hidden by the clouds, and dead trees were all over the place. Ahead of them stood an old looking mansion. Rotting wooden shutters hung from broken windows, odd weird noises came from inside, red stains covered the bottom corner of the front door... Blood?
Who knows.
"Wowwwwwww! Spooky!" Mistral said, "I'm so excited!"
Magus sighed. "Don't get too worked up, or I'll have to tie you to a pole and duct tape your mouth to get you to calm down. Now then, correct me if I'm wrong. We're supposed to go inside this house, find the back door and exit that way? That shouldn't be too hard." And with that, he walked up to the door, grabbed the handle, and tugged. "Stupid thing won't open."
Mistral rushed over. "No, silly," she explained, "You gotta KNOCK first!" She grabbed the large brass knocker, which was in the shape of the head of Fenrir, the monster wolf from Norse mythology. The handle of the knocker, the part that Mistral was holding on to, was in the shape of Jormungand, the giant serpent, from Norse mythology as well, that clamps onto and constantly eats its own tail. She slammed the knocker as hard as she could against the large door, flinging dust everywhere.
For a minute, nothing happened. Magus looked over to Mistral, then to the door, and then back at Mistral. "Nothing's happeni-" His sentence was cut short as a trap door opened underneath them and the two dropped down into the darkness below.
"Oof!" Magus had landed on his stomach, winding him.
The rare item obsessed Wavemaster landed on top of The Propagation. "You're comfy." She remarked, grinning.
"That's quite nice, now please get off of me." The Phase said, a hint of aggravation in his voice.
"Okie-Dokie!" Mistral said, rolling off of Magus and standing up. After a quick session of dusting herself off, she helped Magus up and he dusted himself off as well. "Where do you think we are?" The Wavemaster asked.
"How should I know..." Magus replied. He looked around the area, which seemed to be something like a dungeon. The walls were made of grey stone bricks with holes worn down all over the place and slime covering each stone. There was only a sliver of moonlight shining down from the small crack where the trapdoor they fell down was. His examination of the area was cut short, as Magus heard Mistral's frightened cry. He turned around to see Mistral pointing at something behind them.
It was a guillotine. It's once-shiny blade was now red with rust... or maybe it wasn't even rust at all. "Yes, it's a guillotine. And?" Magus said, not seeing why Mistral would be so afraid of something that couldn't kill you unless someone wanted it to.
"N-Not that! THAT!!" The Wavemaster cried, pointing to something on the floor beside the torture device. It was round-looking and the top was very fuzzy... Magus bent down to get a closer look at what it was...
... A head. It's eyes were wide with horror and it's mouth open in a silent scream. Blood stains surrounded it, showing that it was in the same position it had always been since the unlucky victim had been decapitated. Now, normally, the sight of this probably wouldn't scare too many people... maybe the slightly squeamish people, but that's it. But since this head had been sitting here for so long, it was rotting. Parts of it had already rotted down to the bone, but most of it was red and white flesh which had a melting appearance.
The head's right eye socket was empty, and so was the left, but the left was empty in a different way. The left eyeball was hanging out by the purplish optic nerve, which was also decomposing.
The eyeball was literally melting. Chunks of it oozed from the center, most likely the pupil and the iris.
Magus kicked the head, and it toppled over. A disgusted look crossed The Propagation's face as hundreds of maggots began to crawl out of the eyes and mouth.
"EWWWWW!!!!" Mistral whined. "IT'S ICKY AND SCARY WAAAH-" Magus clapped his hand to Mistral's mouth and shushed her. He then took his hand away and whispered, "Do you hear that...?"
Mistral shook her head, so Magus continued, "It sounds like footsteps, accompanied by a dragging noise..." Step, Step, Draggggg. Step, Step, Dragggg. The noise echoed throughout the area. It was as if somebody was walking around dragging a blanket or a towel on the ground behind them. Step, Step, Draggggg. Step, Step, Dragggg.
And it was coming right towards them.
Step, Step, Dragggg. Step, Step, Draggg...
D What will happen? You'll have to wait and see! And I apologize for the delay, I was having writer's block. xx;