Disclaimer:
Hannah: Yeah o_o..I think you all know how this goes. I do not own anything! Yay! O_o;
Harvest Moon: The Bachelorette
~*~Seven Guys, all vying for Aja's affection. Only one will be her husband. Gray, Cliff, Kai, Rick, Harris, Tim and Zack.~*~
For the first time in years, Aja returned home. She sighed filled with both sorrow and regret. Hesitantly she knocked on the door lightly. "I hope they don't hate me" she said to herself. The door finally swung open and she was face to face with her mother. Her mother looked exactly like Aja; long brown hair, and dark eyes that could pierce your skin like needles.
"Oh my Goddess!" her mother squealed with delight. "Aja, my baby is finally home!" She hugged her disturbed daughter tightly. "I told EVERYONE about how you and Duke had a fight, and you ran off. I thought I saw your name on the race channel, oh my goddess! Are you a race car driver now?! Duke is really sorry, he's an even worse alcoholic, oh goddess, it's so great to have you home! We redecorated your room because this hobo just got a job here and he was more important to us than you ever were. Just yesterday, Duke called Cliff his son! Oh my! But you are still our only daughter and we are forced to love you. Maybe you'll be able to marry Cliff! Wait, would that be incest? No, I suppose not since you are not blood related. YAY! Oh my goddess! I can't wait to tell the village women that you are back! The goddess festival is soon so you can participate! Oh my goddess! You will be awesome! I have a daughter again so everyone will envy me, and."
"MOM! Would you PLEASE shut the FUCK up?!" Aja lashed out, showing her true temper.
Suddenly Manna broke down and began to cry, "My daughter hates me! And Duke is always drunk, and he got mad when he found the mayor and I in bed together, can you believe that?! Oh, gossip! I heard that Joanna is coming back to town as well and she will be continuing her job as a prostitute, how much fun is that? Oh my goddess!" Manna had oddly perked up again.
Aja rolled her eyes and shoved her mother into the wine cellar. "Shut up already" she hissed.
"And can you believe that Jack turned out to be gay?! Oh my goddess! Jeff and him are quite the item if I do say so myself." Manna went on from the cellar.
Aja looked around for her father, when all of a sudden Duke came out of the kitchen zipping up his pants. "I just took a leak. It was good." He said, slurring his words.
"Dad.you were just in the kitchen." Aja pointed out.
"That's the best part, woooooooooooo!!!!!!" Duke suddenly ripped his clothes off, and ran outside streaking the neighbourhood.
"They need help." Aja sighed. The doorbell rang and she felt too lazy to get up and go answer it so she just sat down on the floor and watched the ceiling. Once again, the doorbell rang, and once again Aja ignored it. Just then, a brick was hurled through the window and a young brunette smashed the remaining pieces of glass from the window frame, and crawled inside. "Oh, your home." She said, sounding disappointed. "Not that I was going to rob you or anything." She laughed innocently.
"Who the FUCK are you?!" Aja got up angered. "And what the FUCK did you do to my window?"
The girl smiled, "My name is Hannah, I'm the host of THE BACHELORETTE, and you were chosen to be this season's bachelorette. I merely broke your window, no harm done."
Aja glared at the girl. "How did you know I wanted to apply if I didn't even submit an application?!"
Hannah laughed sheepishly. "Pigeons."
"Excuse me?!" Aja demanded an answer.
Hannah just shrugged, "The magic of television?" She said, half guessingly.
As if that explained everything, Aja nodded. "Oh.I see, so where are my suitors?"
"They'll arrive in due time, whore- I mean Aja. In due time indeed." Hannah nodded wisely.
After an hour and a half of waiting, the doorbell finally rang. Excitedly Aja ran over to open the door. Seven gentleman stood outside, smiling smugly. "Hi!" Aja squealed. "My name is Aja, now what the FUCK are your names?!"
The first one had long brown hair with a hint of blond highlights. He was quite handsome. "My name is Cliff, I was homeless until about a month ago when this kind family here at this winery gave me their whorey daughter's room. She must have been quite a bitch for the way they talked about her!" Cliff erupted into laughter.
"Poo to you!" Aja hissed.
Cliff was dumbfounded, "Poo to me?!"
"lalalapoopoo" Aja plugged her ears and sang.
Cliff turned to the other guys, "Anyway, I'm a drug dealer, so if any of you need the good shiz you know who to come to."
The next to speak was a mailman. "Hello Aja, remember me? It is I, Harris, Your one true love!" Aja could hardly hear a word he was saying. She was too distracted by his gigantic nose.
"Yeah, very nice." Aja coughed, "Next bachelor?"
"I'm Gray." The third one said. He was a cute fellow wearing a cap. His hair was reddish but he was completely and utterly hot. "..................Yeah................"
"I'm Tim, the doctor." The good-looking man in the lab coat said, almost glaring at her. "It is a pleasure to meet you." He glared even deeper. "I am looking for true love. Most definitely I won't find it with trash like you, but you never know. I also have a fetish."
Aja didn't know whether to be delighted or afraid of the doctor. "Right."
The doctor continued, "During sex, I like to wear pink tutu's. They make me feel so.......alive." He twirled around like a princess and plucked some flowers from the ground. At first Aja thought he was going to give them to her, but she was proved wrong. He put them in his hair and raised his fist. "Xena, Warrior Princess!" He turned to the other males in the group. "If any of you need sexual assistance, I mean, medical care just ask."
Aja's eyes widened, but she shrugged it off and looked at the next guy in line, a man with orange hair and glasses.
"I'm Rick!" He declared. "I like chickens and I like to build things, got a problem with that?! Do you?!?!" He shook his fist at her. "Take that back!"
Aja stared blankly at him. "Take what back?"
"Whore!" He pointed at her with great disgust.
Aja was completely lost. "What?!"
"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! DIE BITCH!" Rick began to strangle Aja, but the other guys restrained him. As the breathless Aja looked at Rick with fear, Rick looked back at her with lovingly eyes. "I'd love to get to know you better." This man obviously had issues.
The next guy was darker than the others and wore a purple bandana. "Yo." He started, "I'm Kai, I'm also a pimp, yah fat-ass whore. I'd love to pimp that ass! Woo-Yeah! Give it to Daddy!" He twirled Aja around and started spanking her.
"Stop it this instance!" Aja gnarled.
"Woo! This bitch has some fight in her!" Kai put on his pimp hat and flashed his pimp "cane". "Like what you see ho? Sure yah do! Give Daddy what daddy likes!"
Aja slapped him, but he seemed to enjoy it. Finally the last guy introduced himself.
He was an older man, with a gruff face and big muscles. He was terribly ugly though, too ugly to be seen with. "I'm Zack. That is my name. Yes. I want to make fuck with you." Aja was at a loss for words.
"Well!" Hannah broke the awkward silence. "I'll let you get to know these hunks better but by the end of the night. Two of them will be headed home." She informed Aja, sounding sympathetic. "Do your thing." With that said, Hannah left the scene.
The guys all went inside where Aja sat them down in her kitchen. "So what do you all do for fun?" She asked them.
Zack looked at her strangely. "Fun?! What is this word you speak of? Fun?"
Aja thought for a minute, "It's like getting drunk and having unprotected sex. The feeling of it all!" She nodded, pleased with her answer.
"Bitch!" Kai shouted, "I pimp mah ho's and ripp'em off! Hahahaha!"
"What about you Cliff?" Aja turned to Cliff who was smoking a pipe.
"I was once homeless." He stated.
"Yeah you already told us that, but what do you do for fun?" She asked once again.
Cliff thought for a moment, "I'm was once homeless." Aja slapped her forehead.
"Gray?" She asked, trying to be hopeful.
Gray shifted uneasily. "................Yeah........"
Aja turned to the doctor, but he was too busy putting on make up so she turned to Harris, but he was too busy shining his gigantic nose. Everyone seemed freaky, not a single normal person in sight.
Suddenly KiT, from last season kicked the door down and pointed at Aja. "You, good whore are trying to STEAL MY MAN!"
Aja was startled, "What?! I did no such thing!" she retorted.
"Yes you did, you SLEPT WITH RICK!" KiT began to throw household items at Aja. "You WHORE! Whorish Whoriety Whore whore!"
Suddenly, Kayla showed up as well. "And Cliffie is mine!" She took out her ray gun and pointed it to Aja, "Prepare."
"To die." Kit finished the sentence. The two of them performed fancy footwork than dropkicked Aja. "Yeah!" they both shouted in unison giving each other a high five. Moments later they were escorted away.
"I know 1337!" Kit screamed as she was carried away, "I will be back!"
Aja sighed, rubbing her forhead. Harris suddenly stood beside her and tapped her shoulder. "Don't worry about your friends, they're just going home." He smiled deliriously.
"Home?" Aja asked.
"Yes, sometimes I like to stalk random people at the mall. They are sweet enough to make sure a policeman escorts me home.I love white padded walls." Harris spoke with a gleam of craziness in his eye.
"We live in Mineral, there are NO malls here." Aja said rolling her eyes.
"Whore houses then." Harris shrugged.
"Did someone say Whore?!" Kai stood, taking out his gun. "I know there are some gangsters up in here! I feel some illegal shit up here! Biatch!"
Cliff suddenly shoved the pound of marijuana he was using into his pocket. "What? No way!"
Tim, the doctor was currently dancing to some Britney Spears music when he stopped at Kai's revelation. "Yes! It is true, I was born a MAN!"
They all looked at Tim strangely, when suddenly Gray of all people broke out into song.
"I think I'll take a walk outside!" He began, "Sun is shining high!"
Everyone's shocked eyes were now on Gray, who had suddenly become silent again. "Sorry, it was the hash.I mean, hash browns." He corrected himself when he noticed Cliff in the back doing the "cut-throat" sign.
Zack stared at the wall quietly, sweat trickled down his brow. "I no like the beer."
"f34r t3h b33r!" KiT shouted from her new home at the mental asylum.
"I like chickens, and inventions. I make inventions that cook chickens so that I could molest them while they are on my tray and." Rick told the others.
"I like mail! Sometimes I get so excited from seeing a piece of mail I wet myself!" Harris laughed.
"I like penis-I mean, pennies!" Tim giggled, hoping no one had caught on.
Hannah returned to face Aja. "It is now time." She took her outside the winery to explain what the process would be.
"Alright Aja, I will give you seven letters the gentlemen inside wrote. Once you are done you will go inside and the weed ceremony will be held. Alright? There are only five weeds so TWO people are getting cut today." Hannah explained.
Aja nodded. "Just one thing, how did they have time to write the letters?"
"The magic of television." Was Hannah's excuse once again as she handed Aja the letters.
Cliff's letter:
Hey babe,
I could hook you up with the good shit.
I know so many drug lords,
And believe me when I say that Kayla's baby is NOT mine.
Love,
Cliffie
Kai's letter:
Y0 biatch,
Gimme yer lovin.
Shake that ass!
~Kai.
Tim's letter:
You should pick me because we have SO MUCH in common.
Or if you don't pick me, hook me up with one of the guys-I mean,
One of your friends. Thanks.
Tim
Rick's letter:
I HATE YOU!
YOU'RE A BITCH!
Pick me.
I love you
~Rick
Harris' letter:
Tonight I showed you my soul
Show me yours.
Harris
Gray's letter:
....hi...
~Gray
Zack's letter:
Remember
We make fuck
Moonlight
Tonight.
~Zack
Aja read the letters carefully and sighed, "It's a tough decision but I know what to do." She told Hannah and headed inside to see the gentlemen. "Hello guys, this is the weed ceremony. I have Seven WONDERFUL guys but only Five weeds. Too bad, so sad. The first person I will ask to stay is..Cliff!"
Cliff got up and received his rose. "Thank you."
Aja grabbed the next weed and looked at the six guys, "Gray."
Gray got up and snatched his rose without saying a word.
Aja knew who the next weed was for, "Kai."
Kai got up and smacked her ass, taking the weed as he went back to his seat.
Aja picked up the next weed, "Rick."
Rick got up and gracefully accepted his weed. "Honeykins!" he sweetly added, causing KiT to go on a rampage in her cell.
Hannah interrupted. "This is the last weed." She reminded Aja.
Aja sighed looking at the guys, each one looked disheartened. "Tim."
Tim got up and squealed like a school girl, taking his rose and sitting back down. "Oh my goddess! Yay for me! Cosmo girl rocks!"
Harris and Zack looked at each other. Each with a look of defeat on their faces. "Well" Hannah cut in, "Zack, Harris, it's time for you two to leave."
Zack got up and began to beat each of the remaining men into a bloody pulp, while Harris left gracefully. "Don't you make fuck with Aja!" Zack yelled throwing another punch at Cliff, then he departed as well.
As the two headed outside, Harris's nose acted like a mirror as it reflected each of the lights from town. "It was fun while it lasted but that girl was just too..nose-y" Harris told the camera. "My nosenose didn't like her." With that said, the two walked off in harmony.
Hannah turned to Aja and the five remaining guys. "Well next week FIVE of you are going to be leaving, but it seems it won't work right now, but it will when we show you our next twist. Next ceremony will make the final three. Here's why." Suddenly, a green imp-looking creature, a harvest sprite and a cow came walking in.
"That's Kappa!" Hannah said pointed to the green imp.
Kappa waved to a distraught Aja, "hi! Me like sex! Sex with girls! Human girls! You be girl!"
Aja cried in disgust, "Get that THING away from me!"
"Next, that's lalalapoopoo, the harvest sprite. Watching earlier we realized it was a word that Aja really liked." Hannah grinned evilly.
Lalalapoopoo waved to Aja, "Echmay Potato!"
Lastly, Hannah pointed to the cow. "That is Bessie, she is not just ANY cow. She is a MAGIC cow."
"Moooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!" Bessie grunted.
"And also, next round the dates begin. Have fun!" Hannah waved to the group and ran off cackling.
Hannah: Yeah o_o..I think you all know how this goes. I do not own anything! Yay! O_o;
Harvest Moon: The Bachelorette
~*~Seven Guys, all vying for Aja's affection. Only one will be her husband. Gray, Cliff, Kai, Rick, Harris, Tim and Zack.~*~
For the first time in years, Aja returned home. She sighed filled with both sorrow and regret. Hesitantly she knocked on the door lightly. "I hope they don't hate me" she said to herself. The door finally swung open and she was face to face with her mother. Her mother looked exactly like Aja; long brown hair, and dark eyes that could pierce your skin like needles.
"Oh my Goddess!" her mother squealed with delight. "Aja, my baby is finally home!" She hugged her disturbed daughter tightly. "I told EVERYONE about how you and Duke had a fight, and you ran off. I thought I saw your name on the race channel, oh my goddess! Are you a race car driver now?! Duke is really sorry, he's an even worse alcoholic, oh goddess, it's so great to have you home! We redecorated your room because this hobo just got a job here and he was more important to us than you ever were. Just yesterday, Duke called Cliff his son! Oh my! But you are still our only daughter and we are forced to love you. Maybe you'll be able to marry Cliff! Wait, would that be incest? No, I suppose not since you are not blood related. YAY! Oh my goddess! I can't wait to tell the village women that you are back! The goddess festival is soon so you can participate! Oh my goddess! You will be awesome! I have a daughter again so everyone will envy me, and."
"MOM! Would you PLEASE shut the FUCK up?!" Aja lashed out, showing her true temper.
Suddenly Manna broke down and began to cry, "My daughter hates me! And Duke is always drunk, and he got mad when he found the mayor and I in bed together, can you believe that?! Oh, gossip! I heard that Joanna is coming back to town as well and she will be continuing her job as a prostitute, how much fun is that? Oh my goddess!" Manna had oddly perked up again.
Aja rolled her eyes and shoved her mother into the wine cellar. "Shut up already" she hissed.
"And can you believe that Jack turned out to be gay?! Oh my goddess! Jeff and him are quite the item if I do say so myself." Manna went on from the cellar.
Aja looked around for her father, when all of a sudden Duke came out of the kitchen zipping up his pants. "I just took a leak. It was good." He said, slurring his words.
"Dad.you were just in the kitchen." Aja pointed out.
"That's the best part, woooooooooooo!!!!!!" Duke suddenly ripped his clothes off, and ran outside streaking the neighbourhood.
"They need help." Aja sighed. The doorbell rang and she felt too lazy to get up and go answer it so she just sat down on the floor and watched the ceiling. Once again, the doorbell rang, and once again Aja ignored it. Just then, a brick was hurled through the window and a young brunette smashed the remaining pieces of glass from the window frame, and crawled inside. "Oh, your home." She said, sounding disappointed. "Not that I was going to rob you or anything." She laughed innocently.
"Who the FUCK are you?!" Aja got up angered. "And what the FUCK did you do to my window?"
The girl smiled, "My name is Hannah, I'm the host of THE BACHELORETTE, and you were chosen to be this season's bachelorette. I merely broke your window, no harm done."
Aja glared at the girl. "How did you know I wanted to apply if I didn't even submit an application?!"
Hannah laughed sheepishly. "Pigeons."
"Excuse me?!" Aja demanded an answer.
Hannah just shrugged, "The magic of television?" She said, half guessingly.
As if that explained everything, Aja nodded. "Oh.I see, so where are my suitors?"
"They'll arrive in due time, whore- I mean Aja. In due time indeed." Hannah nodded wisely.
After an hour and a half of waiting, the doorbell finally rang. Excitedly Aja ran over to open the door. Seven gentleman stood outside, smiling smugly. "Hi!" Aja squealed. "My name is Aja, now what the FUCK are your names?!"
The first one had long brown hair with a hint of blond highlights. He was quite handsome. "My name is Cliff, I was homeless until about a month ago when this kind family here at this winery gave me their whorey daughter's room. She must have been quite a bitch for the way they talked about her!" Cliff erupted into laughter.
"Poo to you!" Aja hissed.
Cliff was dumbfounded, "Poo to me?!"
"lalalapoopoo" Aja plugged her ears and sang.
Cliff turned to the other guys, "Anyway, I'm a drug dealer, so if any of you need the good shiz you know who to come to."
The next to speak was a mailman. "Hello Aja, remember me? It is I, Harris, Your one true love!" Aja could hardly hear a word he was saying. She was too distracted by his gigantic nose.
"Yeah, very nice." Aja coughed, "Next bachelor?"
"I'm Gray." The third one said. He was a cute fellow wearing a cap. His hair was reddish but he was completely and utterly hot. "..................Yeah................"
"I'm Tim, the doctor." The good-looking man in the lab coat said, almost glaring at her. "It is a pleasure to meet you." He glared even deeper. "I am looking for true love. Most definitely I won't find it with trash like you, but you never know. I also have a fetish."
Aja didn't know whether to be delighted or afraid of the doctor. "Right."
The doctor continued, "During sex, I like to wear pink tutu's. They make me feel so.......alive." He twirled around like a princess and plucked some flowers from the ground. At first Aja thought he was going to give them to her, but she was proved wrong. He put them in his hair and raised his fist. "Xena, Warrior Princess!" He turned to the other males in the group. "If any of you need sexual assistance, I mean, medical care just ask."
Aja's eyes widened, but she shrugged it off and looked at the next guy in line, a man with orange hair and glasses.
"I'm Rick!" He declared. "I like chickens and I like to build things, got a problem with that?! Do you?!?!" He shook his fist at her. "Take that back!"
Aja stared blankly at him. "Take what back?"
"Whore!" He pointed at her with great disgust.
Aja was completely lost. "What?!"
"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! DIE BITCH!" Rick began to strangle Aja, but the other guys restrained him. As the breathless Aja looked at Rick with fear, Rick looked back at her with lovingly eyes. "I'd love to get to know you better." This man obviously had issues.
The next guy was darker than the others and wore a purple bandana. "Yo." He started, "I'm Kai, I'm also a pimp, yah fat-ass whore. I'd love to pimp that ass! Woo-Yeah! Give it to Daddy!" He twirled Aja around and started spanking her.
"Stop it this instance!" Aja gnarled.
"Woo! This bitch has some fight in her!" Kai put on his pimp hat and flashed his pimp "cane". "Like what you see ho? Sure yah do! Give Daddy what daddy likes!"
Aja slapped him, but he seemed to enjoy it. Finally the last guy introduced himself.
He was an older man, with a gruff face and big muscles. He was terribly ugly though, too ugly to be seen with. "I'm Zack. That is my name. Yes. I want to make fuck with you." Aja was at a loss for words.
"Well!" Hannah broke the awkward silence. "I'll let you get to know these hunks better but by the end of the night. Two of them will be headed home." She informed Aja, sounding sympathetic. "Do your thing." With that said, Hannah left the scene.
The guys all went inside where Aja sat them down in her kitchen. "So what do you all do for fun?" She asked them.
Zack looked at her strangely. "Fun?! What is this word you speak of? Fun?"
Aja thought for a minute, "It's like getting drunk and having unprotected sex. The feeling of it all!" She nodded, pleased with her answer.
"Bitch!" Kai shouted, "I pimp mah ho's and ripp'em off! Hahahaha!"
"What about you Cliff?" Aja turned to Cliff who was smoking a pipe.
"I was once homeless." He stated.
"Yeah you already told us that, but what do you do for fun?" She asked once again.
Cliff thought for a moment, "I'm was once homeless." Aja slapped her forehead.
"Gray?" She asked, trying to be hopeful.
Gray shifted uneasily. "................Yeah........"
Aja turned to the doctor, but he was too busy putting on make up so she turned to Harris, but he was too busy shining his gigantic nose. Everyone seemed freaky, not a single normal person in sight.
Suddenly KiT, from last season kicked the door down and pointed at Aja. "You, good whore are trying to STEAL MY MAN!"
Aja was startled, "What?! I did no such thing!" she retorted.
"Yes you did, you SLEPT WITH RICK!" KiT began to throw household items at Aja. "You WHORE! Whorish Whoriety Whore whore!"
Suddenly, Kayla showed up as well. "And Cliffie is mine!" She took out her ray gun and pointed it to Aja, "Prepare."
"To die." Kit finished the sentence. The two of them performed fancy footwork than dropkicked Aja. "Yeah!" they both shouted in unison giving each other a high five. Moments later they were escorted away.
"I know 1337!" Kit screamed as she was carried away, "I will be back!"
Aja sighed, rubbing her forhead. Harris suddenly stood beside her and tapped her shoulder. "Don't worry about your friends, they're just going home." He smiled deliriously.
"Home?" Aja asked.
"Yes, sometimes I like to stalk random people at the mall. They are sweet enough to make sure a policeman escorts me home.I love white padded walls." Harris spoke with a gleam of craziness in his eye.
"We live in Mineral, there are NO malls here." Aja said rolling her eyes.
"Whore houses then." Harris shrugged.
"Did someone say Whore?!" Kai stood, taking out his gun. "I know there are some gangsters up in here! I feel some illegal shit up here! Biatch!"
Cliff suddenly shoved the pound of marijuana he was using into his pocket. "What? No way!"
Tim, the doctor was currently dancing to some Britney Spears music when he stopped at Kai's revelation. "Yes! It is true, I was born a MAN!"
They all looked at Tim strangely, when suddenly Gray of all people broke out into song.
"I think I'll take a walk outside!" He began, "Sun is shining high!"
Everyone's shocked eyes were now on Gray, who had suddenly become silent again. "Sorry, it was the hash.I mean, hash browns." He corrected himself when he noticed Cliff in the back doing the "cut-throat" sign.
Zack stared at the wall quietly, sweat trickled down his brow. "I no like the beer."
"f34r t3h b33r!" KiT shouted from her new home at the mental asylum.
"I like chickens, and inventions. I make inventions that cook chickens so that I could molest them while they are on my tray and." Rick told the others.
"I like mail! Sometimes I get so excited from seeing a piece of mail I wet myself!" Harris laughed.
"I like penis-I mean, pennies!" Tim giggled, hoping no one had caught on.
Hannah returned to face Aja. "It is now time." She took her outside the winery to explain what the process would be.
"Alright Aja, I will give you seven letters the gentlemen inside wrote. Once you are done you will go inside and the weed ceremony will be held. Alright? There are only five weeds so TWO people are getting cut today." Hannah explained.
Aja nodded. "Just one thing, how did they have time to write the letters?"
"The magic of television." Was Hannah's excuse once again as she handed Aja the letters.
Cliff's letter:
Hey babe,
I could hook you up with the good shit.
I know so many drug lords,
And believe me when I say that Kayla's baby is NOT mine.
Love,
Cliffie
Kai's letter:
Y0 biatch,
Gimme yer lovin.
Shake that ass!
~Kai.
Tim's letter:
You should pick me because we have SO MUCH in common.
Or if you don't pick me, hook me up with one of the guys-I mean,
One of your friends. Thanks.
Tim
Rick's letter:
I HATE YOU!
YOU'RE A BITCH!
Pick me.
I love you
~Rick
Harris' letter:
Tonight I showed you my soul
Show me yours.
Harris
Gray's letter:
....hi...
~Gray
Zack's letter:
Remember
We make fuck
Moonlight
Tonight.
~Zack
Aja read the letters carefully and sighed, "It's a tough decision but I know what to do." She told Hannah and headed inside to see the gentlemen. "Hello guys, this is the weed ceremony. I have Seven WONDERFUL guys but only Five weeds. Too bad, so sad. The first person I will ask to stay is..Cliff!"
Cliff got up and received his rose. "Thank you."
Aja grabbed the next weed and looked at the six guys, "Gray."
Gray got up and snatched his rose without saying a word.
Aja knew who the next weed was for, "Kai."
Kai got up and smacked her ass, taking the weed as he went back to his seat.
Aja picked up the next weed, "Rick."
Rick got up and gracefully accepted his weed. "Honeykins!" he sweetly added, causing KiT to go on a rampage in her cell.
Hannah interrupted. "This is the last weed." She reminded Aja.
Aja sighed looking at the guys, each one looked disheartened. "Tim."
Tim got up and squealed like a school girl, taking his rose and sitting back down. "Oh my goddess! Yay for me! Cosmo girl rocks!"
Harris and Zack looked at each other. Each with a look of defeat on their faces. "Well" Hannah cut in, "Zack, Harris, it's time for you two to leave."
Zack got up and began to beat each of the remaining men into a bloody pulp, while Harris left gracefully. "Don't you make fuck with Aja!" Zack yelled throwing another punch at Cliff, then he departed as well.
As the two headed outside, Harris's nose acted like a mirror as it reflected each of the lights from town. "It was fun while it lasted but that girl was just too..nose-y" Harris told the camera. "My nosenose didn't like her." With that said, the two walked off in harmony.
Hannah turned to Aja and the five remaining guys. "Well next week FIVE of you are going to be leaving, but it seems it won't work right now, but it will when we show you our next twist. Next ceremony will make the final three. Here's why." Suddenly, a green imp-looking creature, a harvest sprite and a cow came walking in.
"That's Kappa!" Hannah said pointed to the green imp.
Kappa waved to a distraught Aja, "hi! Me like sex! Sex with girls! Human girls! You be girl!"
Aja cried in disgust, "Get that THING away from me!"
"Next, that's lalalapoopoo, the harvest sprite. Watching earlier we realized it was a word that Aja really liked." Hannah grinned evilly.
Lalalapoopoo waved to Aja, "Echmay Potato!"
Lastly, Hannah pointed to the cow. "That is Bessie, she is not just ANY cow. She is a MAGIC cow."
"Moooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!" Bessie grunted.
"And also, next round the dates begin. Have fun!" Hannah waved to the group and ran off cackling.