NOTE TO READERS: The following story contains a terribly naughty spoof of Disney cartoon movies and violent, science-fiction films.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Matrix Enchanted Chapter 1 – Fatuous Fairy

During the dawn of mankind, fairies came into existence.

This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Fairies are esoteric. Some are very esoteric. Some can only be understood by philosophers who devote their waking hours to solving life's mysteries, and are recognized by the outside world as hapless dreamers, or obsessed cretins, or, more likely, both.

But these exuberant, magical beings tend to associate with children the most, particularly the open-minded, fun-loving toddlers. Some experts hypothesize that a young brain can except and thrive with the conditions of a dazzling human look-alike with wings. In contrast, when a mind reaches a certain age, it has more trouble coping with differences.

This has led to the conclusion: Fairies enjoy socializing with younger kids because they are more likely to believe in fairies. Many fairies tried this experiment with older humans. The result was widespread oblivion, as all carbon-based life forms had a lethal weapon: If a human ever uttered something along the lines of, "Screw it. There's no such thing as fairies," a fairy would die, obviously in a last attempt to please that semi-evolved simian.

Not a soul has been able to work their way around this phenomenon. Some hypothesize that fairies were created without the Grim Reaper's consent, and thus whenever a human declared that he/she did not believe in fairies, Death would glance sharply at a fairy, demand what the hell it was doing outside the netherworld, and apologize to the primate by making him/her that much closer to stating a fact.

Others have fathomed a different explanation. Perchance those fairies are actually major suckers with weak heart conditions who will believe anything a human says about them. Therefore, when man claims that fairies don't exist, a fairy's heart will give out in shock from hearing this "fact" and the fairy dies.

Most have agreed on a 3rd idea. It is likely that fairies are just figments of imagination, and if man does not believe, fairies no longer have any reason to exist.

There was at least one soul, however, who did not know this weakness in a fairy. Had she, Elizabeth, known, she might have been able to save the fairy's reputation for nearly causing the destruction of Planet Earth.

The name of the fairy was Lucinda, and she was not wise. She, without realizing it, ruined the Elizabeth's childhood by placing a dreadful curse on the girl. That loser did not intend to do that. Keep in mind that she meant to bestow a gift. When Elizabeth cried inconsolably through her first hour of life, her tears were Lucinda's inspiration. Shaking her head sympathetically at the girl's mom, the fairy touched Elizabeth's nose. "My gift is obedience. Elizabeth will always be obedient. Now stop crying, child." She stopped.

Little did she know that by restricting Elizabeth, Lucinda paved the way for the most diabolical human in the world to set up a scheme that would hail the end of the planet and all life dwelling on it.