Harvest Moon: The Bachelor
~Five Girls, vying for Kurt's affection. Katie, Dia, Gwen, Lyla, and Celia~
It was an early morning and Kurt was getting ready to go on the set dates. There would be two double dates, and one one-on-one date. Kurt had the decision of choosing who got which date. Debating it for a while, he finally reached the villa where the girls were staying and knocked. He held a card in a red ribbon and handed it to Celia as she opened the door. Celia looked at Kurt awkwardly but just shrugged and read the letter.
"For the first double date, I choose Celia and Gwen. We will check out Jack's farm, and then retire to a night of passion." Celia blinked, "Sounds interesting, well not really. Maybe, well... no. Hold on a second, I have to get Gwen!" Celia ran inside, and dragged Gwen out kicking and screaming.
"Oh. We're going on a date?!" Gwen perked up at this, "Let's get going!"
The three of them walked down to Jack's farm occasionally making awkward conversation.
"So yesterday, I was in the stable with one of Jack's horses, and oh my god he has the biggest-"
"Gwen! That's enough!" Celia hushed her friend.
"I was getting to the best part!" Gwen protested, "It was long and smooth and I wanted a ride."
Celia rolled her eyes, "Gwen, that's enough! You're going to make Kurt jealous!"
"Just because his isn't big, doesn't mean he'd be jealous automatically! I mean come on!" Gwen shook her head.
Celia shrugged, "I guess. So what happened?"
Gwen's eyes looked like she was in a dream, "I licked it, to taste the wax. Just as I suspected, he uses strawberry!"
Kurt was beyond disturbed, what the hell were they talking about?
"Oh I'm sorry Kurt!" Celia apologized, "We were talking about Jack's horse, and he has a new car."
Kurt blinked, "His horse has a car?"
Gwen nodded, "Yeah Jack bought it for him."
Kurt sighed in relief; he had to get his mind out of the gutter. Gwen looked over to Celia and winked. "If you thought his car was great, you should have seen the backseat. Jack's horse gave me a private tour." Kurt wanted to vomit.
The three reached Jack's farm, and Kurt wanted nothing more than to just run away. "I'm going to go visit Jack's horse, I owe him a private tutorial." With a wink, Gwen headed into the stable.
Celia sighed, "I work on a farm, and I really don't want to be on one for a date. I mean, err... How nice."
Kurt noticed an axe in the corner of his eye. He was trying so badly not to use it. Celia babbled on mindlessly, and Gwen eventually came out looking like a mess. "Man, his horse his big, if you catch my drift." Kurt felt like vomiting again, so the three headed off.
--------------
Kurt thought for a moment before knocking on the villa. When he decided, he knocked on the door and gave a golden envelope to Katie. Katie opened it, it read:
"Katie and Lyla. Accompany me to the meadows for a fun date." Katie blinked, "Unless there are like, magical porn bushes there that sounds pretty boring." With a sigh, Katie retreated to go find Lyla. The two returned moments later ready for their date.
As the three walked down the mountain, Lyla stopped every so often to pick some flowers. "Flowers! Flowers! Flowers are everywhere! Flowers! Flowers! Flowers are in my hair! Flowers! Flowers! Flowers resting on my ear! Flowers! Flowers! Do you fear?"
Katie looked at Lyla strangely, "She's weird." Katie's attention drifted to Kurt, "So Kurt, I'm still in school, it might be a pedophile, I don't know what the age limit is here, but want to play 'teacher punishes naughty schoolgirl?" Kurt shook his head, desperately trying to get away. "Kiss me fool!" Katie jumped on Kurt's back, sending Kurt to run around madly.
"Flowers!" Lyla did a cartwheel and landed on her butt. "I could spend every day of my life with these dearies." with that said, she began eating them. "I want to make sweet passionate love, I want to wed, and I want to make flower babies! Oh Mister Flower!"
Kurt sighed and his feet completely stopped. "Why'd you stop! I want to ride you!" Katie screamed, "Come on bitch! Do it!"
Kurt fell over, Katie hissed. "Fine! Be like that!" Lyla walked up to the two blinking. "Pretty!" She stuck a flower in Kurt's hair.
------------
It was time for the last one-on-one date. Kurt knocked on the door and a servant opened the door. "Dia is expecting you." Kurt walked inside, and was guided to a giant throne.
"Sit FOOL!" Dia raised her fist.
Kurt sat down. "While you're here, you can build me something pretty!" Kurt sighed, and grabbed some tools, he instantly started working. "That is UGLY! Start over!" She knocked the structure over. Kurt was almost crying now.
"If you do not comply, you will DIE."
---------------
Hannah met Kurt outside, "It is time for a special weed ceremony. There are no letters this evening. Go inside and make your decision." Kurt nodded and headed inside.
"There are five ladies, but only four weeds. One of you will be eliminated." Hannah announced, looking at the five girls. "Let us begin."
Kurt thought for a moment and picked up the first weed, "Celia." Celia sighed in relief as she got up and grabbed her weed.
The next weed was easy, it was coated in gold. "Dia." Dia stared at the weed.
"Keep it peasant." Dia said, "Give it to my servant or something." Kurt complied with her wishes and picked up the next weed.
"Katie."
Katie got up and screamed for joy, she snatched her weed. "Yes! I will become the ultimate pokemon master!" Everyone stared at her strangely.
It was now time for the last weed. Gwen and Lyla looked at each other sadly, they knew this time would come. He thought for a moment, and decided. "Gwen." Gwen got up and received her weed graciously.
Kurt looked over to Lyla who was sitting alone, arms crossed, staring at the ground. "I'm sorry Lyla, it's your time to go."
For once Lyla looked sad, but then an evil grin crossed her face. "First off, FLOWERS are so much better than weeds, and secondly I'm related to Popuri so expect to go to hell very soon." With that said, the teary eyed pink themed girl ran out.
Lyla got on her donkey, "The flowers will get him. The flowers always have the final word. The flowers, yes, the flowers." With that creepy line said, Lyla rode off.
Lyla was gone.
---------------
The four remaining girls clinked their champagne glasses in victory. "We made it to the final four!" They congratulated themselves.
Kurt smiled, "Tomorrow I get to meet your folks." The girls all looked at each other nervously. "Oh I can't wait."
----------
Kurt walked up to Dia's mansion with a dozen roses on an early morning, he breathed deeply and knocked on the door. A maid with blue hair opened the door, she looked like an older version of Gina. "Hello dear, I'm Martha. Mistress Dia's maid. Can I help you?"
"I'm here to uh, meet her folks." Kurt said sheepishly.
"Oh..." Martha looked down sadly, "Sad story. She was mad at her parents for not building her mansion correctly so she killed them." Kurt felt a ball in his throat. "In fact, I live in fear every day. Dia can kill me at any moment."
Suddenly Dia appeared at the door, "Talking on the job, Martha?" Dia grinned evilly and stuck her thumb down. Martha cried, as Dia laughed like a maniac. "Hope you have fun Martha, while you slowly... DIE!" Guards appeared out of nowhere and snatched Martha.
"Too much sunlight! Too much ugly!" One servant closed the blinds, and the other one removed Kurt from the room.
"Much better." Dia said pleased.
--------------
Kurt caught up with Gwen next, the two walked around town looking for her grandfather. "There he is!" She pointed him out, he was out with his apprentices. "Hi grandfather!"
Woody eyed his granddaughter, "Ah its you! You crazy girl! Get away! You molested all of the animals! Please just get away!" With that said, he ran off crying.
Gwen shrugged with a laugh, "Don't listen to him, he's... um, old."
--------
Next Kurt visited a huge ranch, Celia was tending to some animals. A huge woman was bossing her around. "When you're done here, you can CLEAN THE PEN! BAHAHAHA! They will never find out about the sweat shop I run." and so, the big woman retreated indoors.
Celia broke down and cried, "I hate this place!" Kurt comforted her.
"Once you have enough money, buy a gun and shoot her." Kurt reasoned to which Celia smiled.
"Yes! Thanks Kurt! You always know just what to say!"
"I try to talk as little as possible" Kurt nodded.
---------
Kurt was about to visit Katie, when suddenly Hannah stopped him. "Katie is the youngest, if you visit her, you can be arrested, called a pedophile and get you're ass kicked. I suggest you leave you alone this time. She wanted me to give you this." Hannah handed him a note.
"Everyone thinks I'm a good little girl, they cannot know I am a whore until I have sex with you and get pregnant, I mean, until I become a woman. Thanks for understanding, Katie."
Kurt shrugged, "That's one less house to visit."
----------
It was time for another weed ceremony. Kurt looked at the letters the girls sent him.
Katie's letter:
I know it's illegal
But we must go on
Get naughty.
-Katie
Dia's letter:
Hello Scum.
If you do not choose me I have the right to behead you.
Think of the most glorious woman alive.
Think of me.
The one the only Dia.
Celia's letter:
hey. Well I know you said to wait till I had the money but I just killed her with a shovel.
Hope you don't mind. We can bury her together on our next date,
or not.
Love, (not really) Celia (Not my real name.)
Gwen's letter:
I don't know what that old freak was talking about.
I love animals.
I love you too.
Forever Eden is a hot new show,
Gwen.
Kurt nodded, and sighed. After making his decision he went inside. Hannah smiled. "Four ladies, only three weeds. Let the weed ceremony begin!"
Kurt rubbed his hands together and grabbed a weed. "Dia."
Dia grinned, "Servants, take the disgusting thing. Get it away." Dia's servants grabbed the weed and treasured it.
Kurt took the next weed and thought for a moment before announcing his choice. "Katie."
Katie jumped up happily, "YAY! I'm so happy!" She squealed as she received her weed and sat back down.
It was now time to end it. Gwen or Celia?
Kurt picked up the next weed. "Celia."
Celia got up and accepted her weed. "Thanks, even though weeds are gross. I just want you to know I am not a murderer. We are a murderer as a team!" Everyone looked at her strangely.
Gwen nodded, accepting her fate. As she got up to leave, she turned back to say her final goodbye. "By the way, I mated with the dog and he's pregnant! BWAHAHA!" and so, she headed out.
Gwen got on the horse trying desperately not to be turned on. "This is hot baby!" with that said, Gwen left.
Three girls remained.
~Five Girls, vying for Kurt's affection. Katie, Dia, Gwen, Lyla, and Celia~
It was an early morning and Kurt was getting ready to go on the set dates. There would be two double dates, and one one-on-one date. Kurt had the decision of choosing who got which date. Debating it for a while, he finally reached the villa where the girls were staying and knocked. He held a card in a red ribbon and handed it to Celia as she opened the door. Celia looked at Kurt awkwardly but just shrugged and read the letter.
"For the first double date, I choose Celia and Gwen. We will check out Jack's farm, and then retire to a night of passion." Celia blinked, "Sounds interesting, well not really. Maybe, well... no. Hold on a second, I have to get Gwen!" Celia ran inside, and dragged Gwen out kicking and screaming.
"Oh. We're going on a date?!" Gwen perked up at this, "Let's get going!"
The three of them walked down to Jack's farm occasionally making awkward conversation.
"So yesterday, I was in the stable with one of Jack's horses, and oh my god he has the biggest-"
"Gwen! That's enough!" Celia hushed her friend.
"I was getting to the best part!" Gwen protested, "It was long and smooth and I wanted a ride."
Celia rolled her eyes, "Gwen, that's enough! You're going to make Kurt jealous!"
"Just because his isn't big, doesn't mean he'd be jealous automatically! I mean come on!" Gwen shook her head.
Celia shrugged, "I guess. So what happened?"
Gwen's eyes looked like she was in a dream, "I licked it, to taste the wax. Just as I suspected, he uses strawberry!"
Kurt was beyond disturbed, what the hell were they talking about?
"Oh I'm sorry Kurt!" Celia apologized, "We were talking about Jack's horse, and he has a new car."
Kurt blinked, "His horse has a car?"
Gwen nodded, "Yeah Jack bought it for him."
Kurt sighed in relief; he had to get his mind out of the gutter. Gwen looked over to Celia and winked. "If you thought his car was great, you should have seen the backseat. Jack's horse gave me a private tour." Kurt wanted to vomit.
The three reached Jack's farm, and Kurt wanted nothing more than to just run away. "I'm going to go visit Jack's horse, I owe him a private tutorial." With a wink, Gwen headed into the stable.
Celia sighed, "I work on a farm, and I really don't want to be on one for a date. I mean, err... How nice."
Kurt noticed an axe in the corner of his eye. He was trying so badly not to use it. Celia babbled on mindlessly, and Gwen eventually came out looking like a mess. "Man, his horse his big, if you catch my drift." Kurt felt like vomiting again, so the three headed off.
--------------
Kurt thought for a moment before knocking on the villa. When he decided, he knocked on the door and gave a golden envelope to Katie. Katie opened it, it read:
"Katie and Lyla. Accompany me to the meadows for a fun date." Katie blinked, "Unless there are like, magical porn bushes there that sounds pretty boring." With a sigh, Katie retreated to go find Lyla. The two returned moments later ready for their date.
As the three walked down the mountain, Lyla stopped every so often to pick some flowers. "Flowers! Flowers! Flowers are everywhere! Flowers! Flowers! Flowers are in my hair! Flowers! Flowers! Flowers resting on my ear! Flowers! Flowers! Do you fear?"
Katie looked at Lyla strangely, "She's weird." Katie's attention drifted to Kurt, "So Kurt, I'm still in school, it might be a pedophile, I don't know what the age limit is here, but want to play 'teacher punishes naughty schoolgirl?" Kurt shook his head, desperately trying to get away. "Kiss me fool!" Katie jumped on Kurt's back, sending Kurt to run around madly.
"Flowers!" Lyla did a cartwheel and landed on her butt. "I could spend every day of my life with these dearies." with that said, she began eating them. "I want to make sweet passionate love, I want to wed, and I want to make flower babies! Oh Mister Flower!"
Kurt sighed and his feet completely stopped. "Why'd you stop! I want to ride you!" Katie screamed, "Come on bitch! Do it!"
Kurt fell over, Katie hissed. "Fine! Be like that!" Lyla walked up to the two blinking. "Pretty!" She stuck a flower in Kurt's hair.
------------
It was time for the last one-on-one date. Kurt knocked on the door and a servant opened the door. "Dia is expecting you." Kurt walked inside, and was guided to a giant throne.
"Sit FOOL!" Dia raised her fist.
Kurt sat down. "While you're here, you can build me something pretty!" Kurt sighed, and grabbed some tools, he instantly started working. "That is UGLY! Start over!" She knocked the structure over. Kurt was almost crying now.
"If you do not comply, you will DIE."
---------------
Hannah met Kurt outside, "It is time for a special weed ceremony. There are no letters this evening. Go inside and make your decision." Kurt nodded and headed inside.
"There are five ladies, but only four weeds. One of you will be eliminated." Hannah announced, looking at the five girls. "Let us begin."
Kurt thought for a moment and picked up the first weed, "Celia." Celia sighed in relief as she got up and grabbed her weed.
The next weed was easy, it was coated in gold. "Dia." Dia stared at the weed.
"Keep it peasant." Dia said, "Give it to my servant or something." Kurt complied with her wishes and picked up the next weed.
"Katie."
Katie got up and screamed for joy, she snatched her weed. "Yes! I will become the ultimate pokemon master!" Everyone stared at her strangely.
It was now time for the last weed. Gwen and Lyla looked at each other sadly, they knew this time would come. He thought for a moment, and decided. "Gwen." Gwen got up and received her weed graciously.
Kurt looked over to Lyla who was sitting alone, arms crossed, staring at the ground. "I'm sorry Lyla, it's your time to go."
For once Lyla looked sad, but then an evil grin crossed her face. "First off, FLOWERS are so much better than weeds, and secondly I'm related to Popuri so expect to go to hell very soon." With that said, the teary eyed pink themed girl ran out.
Lyla got on her donkey, "The flowers will get him. The flowers always have the final word. The flowers, yes, the flowers." With that creepy line said, Lyla rode off.
Lyla was gone.
---------------
The four remaining girls clinked their champagne glasses in victory. "We made it to the final four!" They congratulated themselves.
Kurt smiled, "Tomorrow I get to meet your folks." The girls all looked at each other nervously. "Oh I can't wait."
----------
Kurt walked up to Dia's mansion with a dozen roses on an early morning, he breathed deeply and knocked on the door. A maid with blue hair opened the door, she looked like an older version of Gina. "Hello dear, I'm Martha. Mistress Dia's maid. Can I help you?"
"I'm here to uh, meet her folks." Kurt said sheepishly.
"Oh..." Martha looked down sadly, "Sad story. She was mad at her parents for not building her mansion correctly so she killed them." Kurt felt a ball in his throat. "In fact, I live in fear every day. Dia can kill me at any moment."
Suddenly Dia appeared at the door, "Talking on the job, Martha?" Dia grinned evilly and stuck her thumb down. Martha cried, as Dia laughed like a maniac. "Hope you have fun Martha, while you slowly... DIE!" Guards appeared out of nowhere and snatched Martha.
"Too much sunlight! Too much ugly!" One servant closed the blinds, and the other one removed Kurt from the room.
"Much better." Dia said pleased.
--------------
Kurt caught up with Gwen next, the two walked around town looking for her grandfather. "There he is!" She pointed him out, he was out with his apprentices. "Hi grandfather!"
Woody eyed his granddaughter, "Ah its you! You crazy girl! Get away! You molested all of the animals! Please just get away!" With that said, he ran off crying.
Gwen shrugged with a laugh, "Don't listen to him, he's... um, old."
--------
Next Kurt visited a huge ranch, Celia was tending to some animals. A huge woman was bossing her around. "When you're done here, you can CLEAN THE PEN! BAHAHAHA! They will never find out about the sweat shop I run." and so, the big woman retreated indoors.
Celia broke down and cried, "I hate this place!" Kurt comforted her.
"Once you have enough money, buy a gun and shoot her." Kurt reasoned to which Celia smiled.
"Yes! Thanks Kurt! You always know just what to say!"
"I try to talk as little as possible" Kurt nodded.
---------
Kurt was about to visit Katie, when suddenly Hannah stopped him. "Katie is the youngest, if you visit her, you can be arrested, called a pedophile and get you're ass kicked. I suggest you leave you alone this time. She wanted me to give you this." Hannah handed him a note.
"Everyone thinks I'm a good little girl, they cannot know I am a whore until I have sex with you and get pregnant, I mean, until I become a woman. Thanks for understanding, Katie."
Kurt shrugged, "That's one less house to visit."
----------
It was time for another weed ceremony. Kurt looked at the letters the girls sent him.
Katie's letter:
I know it's illegal
But we must go on
Get naughty.
-Katie
Dia's letter:
Hello Scum.
If you do not choose me I have the right to behead you.
Think of the most glorious woman alive.
Think of me.
The one the only Dia.
Celia's letter:
hey. Well I know you said to wait till I had the money but I just killed her with a shovel.
Hope you don't mind. We can bury her together on our next date,
or not.
Love, (not really) Celia (Not my real name.)
Gwen's letter:
I don't know what that old freak was talking about.
I love animals.
I love you too.
Forever Eden is a hot new show,
Gwen.
Kurt nodded, and sighed. After making his decision he went inside. Hannah smiled. "Four ladies, only three weeds. Let the weed ceremony begin!"
Kurt rubbed his hands together and grabbed a weed. "Dia."
Dia grinned, "Servants, take the disgusting thing. Get it away." Dia's servants grabbed the weed and treasured it.
Kurt took the next weed and thought for a moment before announcing his choice. "Katie."
Katie jumped up happily, "YAY! I'm so happy!" She squealed as she received her weed and sat back down.
It was now time to end it. Gwen or Celia?
Kurt picked up the next weed. "Celia."
Celia got up and accepted her weed. "Thanks, even though weeds are gross. I just want you to know I am not a murderer. We are a murderer as a team!" Everyone looked at her strangely.
Gwen nodded, accepting her fate. As she got up to leave, she turned back to say her final goodbye. "By the way, I mated with the dog and he's pregnant! BWAHAHA!" and so, she headed out.
Gwen got on the horse trying desperately not to be turned on. "This is hot baby!" with that said, Gwen left.
Three girls remained.