A/N) Hello! Seventh chapter here for your reading pleasure, or displeasure, whatever it may be just remember to....review!!!!!

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CHAPTER SEVEN: Weighed Down by Pain and Drowning in Blood

Remus was standing in the middle of a never-ending field of soft, pink flowers. He was all alone and it was cold. The sky above shone silver and dark grey, occasionally flashing white as lightning sheeted across it. There was no rain and no wind. The flowers seemed to be singing; a sad, haunting song with no words. Remus reached out to pick one; it was then that he noticed his wrists. They had been slit and out of them poured not red blood but black. In horror he watched as it dripped onto the silky pink petals, slowly staining them black. It was then that it began to rain, big, fat droplets of black blood. They spilled from the clouds like tears and Remus felt himself begin to cry as well. His tears fell as black as the rain. Soon he was floating in a sea of black blood and there was no time to scream as a large wave pulled him under.

Remus awoke with a start to find himself still under the willow tree, thoughts of the day before came rushing before his eyes and he pushed them away, refusing to think of it. The small silver hands on his watch told him it was lunchtime, he had missed class again. How many lessons had he missed since he had...well since everything had begun? He stood, smoothing out his wrinkled robes he realised that they had been dried by the sun. Remus stepped out from under the branches and made his way up to the school, no longer did he look at the sun or bask in its warmth, he hardly realised it was there.

As if he were sleepwalking Remus walked blindly over to the Gryffindor table and sat down, taking a piece of bread he bit into it, tasting nothing as he swallowed. The bread was like cardboard in his throat, and it seemed to take ages to swallow. He closed his eyes in pain, aware of nothing around him.

James watched the honey haired boy; he didn't know what to do. There was a bruise on Remus's face from where he had punched him, but that did not seem to be the trouble. Remus looked tired, he looked as if he were in the hands of death, and he looked as if he did not care. James longed for the simpler days of Quidditch fights and late night pranks. If all that growing up brought was pain then James felt that he did not want to grow up after all.

Just then Lucius Malfoy walked into the great hall, his white-gold hair hanging about his face in a vain attempt to hide the bruises that covered it. Immediately James knew it had been Sirius's work and for some reason he felt ashamed. He wondered where his hot-tempered friend was, he had been gone since yesterday.

Sirius black sat on a small staircase in the south wing of the castle. His hands were shaking and he was desperately trying to hold back tears, failing miserably. He felt disgusting, there were small stains of blood on his knuckles that he was sure belonged to Lucius Malfoy. Sirius wiped them against his robes in a desperate manner; how long he had been sitting there he did not know. At first he had just sat in silence but then as the past few days came rushing back to meet him the first threat of tears had loomed. Sirius didn't want to cry, he never cried, he was too old to cry. But you're never too old, he soon realised. You could never be too old to cry, never ever.

Sirius smiled rather bitterly, his tears tasted of salt on his lips. It was the full moon tonight; he realised, and for the first time since they had found out Remus would not expect them to be there. Sirius was torn; he wanted to go anyway, to tell Remus it was okay, that he didn't have to explain anything. That he, Sirius, would love him whatever he did. On the other hand he was still so angry, he felt a red hot rage running through him and he knew, at least half of it was directed at Remus. The rest was at himself, and Lucius-fucking-Malfoy. How he hated that boy, he had wanted to kill him back in the classroom. He had been so tempted and yet in the end he could not, Lucius meant something to Remus and that was what had stopped him, he would do anything for Remus. If it came down to it he would kill for the honey haired werewolf.



Later that night Remus made his way slowly to the Whomping Willow. He hardly noticed where he was going; it was amazing that he had even remembered that it was the full moon that night. He grabbed a long, rather crooked stick and touched the knot in the tree. The tree froze, stuck mid swing. Remus closed his eyes and slipped inside, all he could feel was pain; was it fair that there was yet more to come?



Sirius stared at the black haired Slytherin, his blue eyes filled with hatred that was not meant for him. But, seeing as Snape was the only one about Sirius had decided he would have to do.

"I saw Lupin sneaking out of the castle." Severus said his voice no more than a hiss.

"So?" Sirius sneered. "Just because Malfoy's using him as his little whore doesn't mean you can keep tabs on him."

Severus's black eyes flared angrily, "Lucius in not using him as his whore." He said, his voice quiet yet determined.

This angered Sirius, he hated to think that Snape, of all people, could know more about what was going on than he did. "No," he agreed. "He's got you for that; after all, why else would he even want to hang about with you?"

Severus clenched his fists and blinked back tears, why was he always so weak?

Sirius smirked and then a wicked thought flashed, unprompted, across his mind. If Snape wants to know where Remus had gone, whispered the wicked voice, then why don't you tell him? Sirius tried to ignore it; he knew that it would be wrong, wrong, it would most definitely be wrong. However Sirius could not deny the hatred, the urge to do something evil as if that would cure him of all evil thoughts. It wasn't his fault he sometimes had evil thoughts after all, he was from the Black family. How could he be expected, coming from such a family, not to have even the slightest bit of evil inside him? Suddenly a sort of temporary insanity overtook the tall Gryffindor, hardly aware of what he was saying Sirius addressed the curious Slytherin.

"If you go to the Whomping Willow you can find out his secret."

Severus blinked; did he really want to know? He was curious to know more about the boy who had made Lucius Malfoy smile, if only for a short while.

"There's a knot on the tree, prod it with a stick and the tree will freeze. A door opens, beyond that is a passage and at the end of that passage you will find the real Remus Lupin." Sirius's mouth was working by itself. He knew the wolf wasn't the real Remus, the shy quiet boy was real, not the wolf. But, no, wait. That Remus wasn't real either, the real Remus existed deep within the amber eyed boy and only Lucius Malfoy had been allowed to see him. Sirius smiled at the Slytherin, it was an angry, evil slash of a smile that didn't belong on his face but it reflected Sirius entirely at that moment.

Severus looked at his blue eyed tormentor, was this a joke? He wanted to know, he had to find out. Whatever it was it couldn't be that bad. Lupin wasn't a dangerous boy but there was something different about him and, God help him for being curious, Severus wanted to know what it was. "Right." He said; turning on his heel and walking out of the castle before Sirius could attack him once more.

Sirius watched him go with panic in his eyes; the smile had disappeared completely, along with his temporary insanity. Now all he felt was blinding panic. What the hell had he done?

"Sirius?" said a voice, its nearness startling the boy. He whipped around and came face to face with James. "Are you alright?" the messy haired boy asked.

Sirius shook his head, panic clutching at his heart. "Oh God, James I..., Snape he...I told him. Oh God, I sent him to the Willow, he's gonna die! I...I've turned Remus into...a murderer. God, James, he's gonna kill him! I did that, I did it!" He cried. James stared at his hot tempered friend in horror, what had driven him to do such a thing? "I did it, I did it." Sirius muttered over and over, shaking his head slightly as he did. James was scared; he knew Sirius was a little out of control, but to send Snape to a Werewolf's lair? Something had gone terribly wrong this year and the worst thing about it was that James had no idea why.

"Sirius?" he said quietly. "Go back to the dormitory; just stay...just stay there. I've got to...I've got to go."

Sirius nodded and walked off up the main stairs, still muttering under his breath. James took one last look at his friend and then set off, running as fast as he could.



Severus Snape stood before the Whomping Willow, his black hair moving lightly in the cold night air. He inhaled, smelling the cool, fresh grass and the nearby trees of the forbidden forest. The grounds were awash with silver as the full moon watched over them. With a sense of nervousness Severus stretched out his branch and touched the knot lightly. With a groan the large tree shuddered to a halt and a small opening appeared. Severus stepped forward.



James ran as fast as was possible over the slippery grass, his shoes sliding on the mud. He could not even think; all he knew was that he had to stop this, this madness! As he reached the Whomping Willow he saw the thin, cloaked figure of Severus Snape quietly entering the passage. "Wait!" he cried, but Snape did not hear him. James called again and when no answer came he made his way down to the entrance.

Severus walked slowly up the dirt covered passage taking care not to trip on the many roots that protruded from the ground. A sense of dread had filled him, but he felt it too late to turn back now. He continued on, his hands sliding against the earthy wall as he tried not to trip. As he reached the end of the passage Severus heard a low whining sound, instantly his blood ran cold; at the top of the passage, just at the entrance to some sort of room stood a large silver wolf. Severus was frozen in terror, Lupin was a Werewolf? The fact that he disappeared for a few days every month made much more sense now. In fact, now that it did make sense Severus found that he didn't really want to know after all. Suddenly the wolf began to walk down the passage towards him, its yellow eyes regarding him intently. Severus closed his eyes in terror.

"Snape!" called a voice from the end of the passage. Severus whipped around to find James Potter standing there, a look of panic frozen on his tanned face. "Come on!" James cried. Severus shook his head in fear, "I can't." he croaked.

James rolled his eyes; there was no time for this. Bolting up the passage he grabbed the frightened Slytherin and dragged him back down towards the entrance. The wolf growled and began to run after them, its yellow eyes glinting in the dark.

Frightened, James threw Severus out of the doorway and then followed, prodding the knot to close the entrance as he did. A loud howl sounded from inside the passage and Severus shook as he sank slowly to the ground. "Are you okay?" James asked, "Did you get hurt?"

Severus shook his head and looked at James, a quiet anger sparking in his black eyes. "How could you?" he asked.

"How could I rescue you?" James asked confusedly.

"What is it with you Gryffindors huh?" Severus said; his voice rising slightly as he clambered clumsily to his feet. "You think you can do whatever you want with me and I won't feel it?"

James was silent; Sirius had gone too far this time. He knew that and no doubt Sirius did as well. Snape had done nothing to any of them and yet their cruelty had almost killed him. There was no apology good enough to change that.

"I...I want Black to leave me alone. If he ever comes near me again I wont hesitate to try and kill him, you reap what you sow remember? That goes for you as well Potter. One day you'll both get what's coming to you!"

"Don't tell," James whispered, a worried thought overtaking him. "Don't tell about Remus, please!"

Severus glared at the Gryffindor, he wanted to tell. Yes it was a mean spiteful thing to do, but didn't they deserve it for all the things they had done to him over the years? However, he was loyal to Lucius and Lucius had some sort of 'thing' going on with the Werewolf. If only to keep Lucius happy, Severus decided, he would keep it a secret. "Alright," he told James. "I won't tell, but make no mistake, I'm not doing it for you." He hissed.

James nodded dumbly and watched as the Slytherin walked back up to the school, his black cloak billowing out behind him.



Remus awoke in pain; he was lying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. Sitting up slowly he winced, there was rather a lot of blood smeared on the floor where he had lain. Nervously his large amber eyes took in the fresh cuts on his arms and chest. Transformations were so much worse without the others to help him through it. Just then an image flashed through Remus's mind. It was of a frightened Severus Snape. His eyes widening so much it hurt; Remus looked at the blood on the floor. Snape had been here last night, he had been in the passage when he had transformed. Remus clutched at his hair, tearing at it. "No, no, no, no, no." He repeated. What if the blood; or at least some of it belonged to Snape? What if he had injured the dark haired boy? Or worse, what if he had killed him?

Remus folded his arms around himself and curled up into a ball, he should be up with Madam Pomfrey right now but, she would not want to tend to a murderer. Shaking silently he began to cry. What life was this he had been cursed with?

Then the sound of footsteps made Remus look up. It was James, fresh robes in hand and a worried look on his face. Remus stared at the other boy and then at his blood covered hands. He was a murderer, a werewolf, a dark creature not fit to live at all. With an anguished moan he buried his face in his hands, leaving smears of red blood over his cheeks.

"Remus?" James said softly, he hadn't known what state to expect to find the smaller boy in but, it certainly hadn't been this.

"James....if I, did I?"

"What? Did you what?" James asked urgently, pushing Remus's hands away from his face.

"Snape was here, I re...remember. Is this just my blood? Or is it...is it his James?" Remus stared at his red hands, "Did I kill him?" he asked softly.

"Oh no, no, no Remus. Don't think that, I would never let you..." James set down the fresh set of robes and pulled the trembling boy to him, enveloping his shaking form on a hug. "You didn't, you didn't." He repeated, "Never, never, never." Remus was silent for a moment and then he began to cry, long, wailing sobs which pained James to hear them. Remus's pale arms gripped the bigger boy as if he were a life jacket; he didn't know whether he was crying from relief or what.

"God James," Remus gasped between sobs. "Why was he here? I could have, if I had..."

Still hugging the other boy to him James swallowed nervously. He had not spoken to Sirius since last night before he had gone for Snape. When he had returned to the dormitory the curtains around Sirius's bed had been drawn and had not opened at all. "Sirius told him where to find you." He admitted sadly.

Shocked, Remus pulled back and stared at James with horrified eyes. "What? Why?"

"I don't know," he answered quietly. "I only reached Snape just in time. But I would never; I would never let you become a murderer Remus."

"But Sirius would." Remus choked, the words burning like acid on his tongue. Sirius Black had almost made him a murderer, Remus felt sick, he felt disgusting. He had lost Lucius, he had lost all happiness and he had been used by his friend for a horrible, twisted prank. "I need to speak to him." Remus said, struggling to his feet. He swayed uneasily for a moment, holding James for support. Silently James dressed his friend in the clean, black robes. Remus let him, his own hands shaking too much to help. Silently they set off for Gryffindor tower, Remus too consumed with pain and anger to really acknowledge James's presence any more.



Sirius lay on his bed, his face pale, blue eyes staring into nothing. Remus, he cared for the boy so much so how could he have done that? He didn't even know if Snape was alright, he didn't really care. All he wanted was for Remus to be okay, he didn't want Remus to become a murderer because of him. Suddenly the hangings on his bed were thrown open and Sirius blinked at the bright light. Sitting up he realised that it was Remus Lupin himself who had thrown open the curtains. "I...Remus I" he croaked, his throat sore from crying.

Remus shot him a venomous look. "Spare it." He hissed, yanking Sirius off the bed. Sirius whimpered as he hit the cold stone floor, he deserved it, he knew he deserved it.

"What am I to you Sirius? A toy? Something to use when you feel like disposing of people?"

"No!" Sirius said hoarsely.

"THEN WHY?" Remus cried, he knelt on the floor in front of the black haired boy and grasped his tanned hands in his own blood covered ones. "Why?" he whispered, tears brimming in his amber eyes. With a choked sob Remus slid his hands away and Sirius looked in horror at the blood that now coated his own hands.

"Is this?" he asked, horrified. "Is Snape...dead?"

Remus's mouth twisted unpleasantly and he wiped his bloody fingertips across Sirius's open mouth. "No," he hissed. "It's mine."

Sirius blanched a little at the metallic taste invading his mouth and he shifted away. What had he done? "Remus I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never meant too but I was angry and...I don't know."

"You were angry." Remus hissed, kneeling across from Sirius. "You were angry and that justifies you almost making me kill someone?"

"No, never!" Sirius cried.

"You say you want to help me Sirius and yet you seek to add to my troubles by making me a murderer." Remus shook slightly and Sirius moved over to him. The smaller boy looked worse, worse than Sirius had ever seen him look before. He was pale and thin and covered in blood, his own blood nonetheless.

"No," Sirius repeated. "I only want to help you. I don't know quite why I did what I did but I'll never do it again, I promise. I'm so sorry, I am, I am."

Remus stared at him, tears rolling freely down his face now, turning pink as they mingled with the blood. "I'm covered in blood Sirius." He whispered, his hands gripping the other boy's shoulders. "My blood, it's too dark. And there's so much pain, I can't escape it. I love him, and he can't escape either. I can't help him but I want him. Why is there so much pain?"

Sirius didn't care if Remus was talking about Malfoy, at that moment it didn't matter. What mattered was the boy in front of him, the boy who was crying onto his shoulder, great racking sobs. He finally saw the pain that the smaller boy was in and he wanted to make it disappear.

"I'm covered in blood Sirius." Remus sobbed. "I'm a dark creature, not fit for the sun. I want it all to go away, why won't it go away?"



(A/N) Okay no Lucius in that one but he will be in the next one most definitely. That was my take on the Sirius/Snape werewolf prank. I kind of altered it a bit to fit my story. Hope ya don't mind. Leave a review on your way out and don't forget to come again!!