Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters, because if I did I wouldn't be writing these stories. I would be sitting in my castle happily being doted upon. But until that happens I shall continue writing these stories, because it feels good to know that my reviewers appreciate them.

Overwhelming Memories

Lily woke up before the rest of her roommates and decided to go on a walk out by the lake before she had to eat breakfast. She quickly threw on some clothes and brushed her hair. Then she headed out of her dormitory and down the stairs towards the common room. When she reached the common room she saw that there was a head of messy black hair sticking up over one of the couches. Slowly, the head turned to face her. Lily looked into the eyes of James Potter and saw something that struck a chord in her. His eyes looked glassy and she could see a pained expression in them. Why would James Potter be sad? She thought.

James heard someone coming down the stairs and when he turned around his eyes met those of Lily Evans. Great, he thought, this is the last person I want to see me like this. This was one of the rare times when James had let down his guard. He had thought that no one would be up so early in the morning and he couldn't stand being cooped up in his dormitory any longer. He tried hard to quickly gain control over himself, but it was of no use. He had let himself get too far into his own thoughts and now he couldn't escape them.

Just as slowly as Lily had watched James turn towards her, he turned away from her. She didn't quite know what to do. This was not the James Potter she knew. She desperately wanted to know what was wrong with him so she could fix it and take that pain out of his eyes. But she had a feeling that nothing she could do would take that pain away. However, she was willing to try. As she sat down next to James on the couch she placed her hand on his.

"James?" she asked hesitantly. "What's the matter?"

He glanced up at her and gazed into her striking emerald eyes. This was too much for him. The pain was overwhelming and he wanted so badly to tell Lily what was wrong, but for some reason he couldn't make the words come out of his mouth. Instead, he looked back down into his lap.

"Please James, tell me what is the matter. Maybe I can help you," she said after his piercing gaze broke away from her.

"Lily," James said quietly. "Please just go away."

She looked shocked to say the least. She wasn't sure whether to start crying or yelling at him. In the end, she decided to do neither and did as James had asked. She left him sitting on the couch by himself. As she walked out of the portrait hole she felt tears start to well up in her eyes. No, she said to herself, I will not let James Potter make me cry. But on her journey out to the pond she couldn't help but think of a conversation that she had had with him only the night before and guilt overwhelmed her. She knew that her words hadn't caused him all of the pain in his eyes, but she knew that she had caused some of it and that made her start to openly cry. With tears flowing down her beautiful face the redhead made her way to a special rock by the pond.

James sat staring at the fire for some time after Lily had left the common room. He tried so hard to make himself feel numb. Why did Lily make every feeling in his body rise to the top when she came around him? He hated it, but he loved it too. James kept thinking about his encounter with Lily and he scolded himself for being so cold to her. But today wasn't like everyday. Today, there were more important things to think about. Today, Matthew Potter would have been twenty-three years old.

Matthew Jeffrey Potter had been the light of his family's life. He had been everything, to say the least. When he had become an auror his mother had been devastated. Now she would not only have her husband out risking his life, but her son would be too. Why couldn't he get a sensible job like being a healer? Just like her. However, Matthew knew that it was his duty as an able wizard to be out there in combat fighting against the evil that threatened to prevail. And so he took the job knowing that every moment his life was in danger.

One night Matthew went out to fight against death eaters who had attacked a popular muggle location. He wasn't just a good auror, he was a great auror. However, that night the aurors were outnumbered by death eaters. Matthew tried his hardest to ward off the death eaters, but he was soon killed when he became surrounded by too many of them.

That night, before Matthew had rushed out of the house, he had promised young James that he would be home later to play a game of quidditch with him. James waited out in the backyard for him for hours. He was going to be starting Hogwarts in the fall and he needed all the practice he could get and Matt was the best player he knew. James waited and waited and Matthew never came. His hopeful thoughts for the future started to turn to worries for Matt. Where was he? He said he would only be gone a little bit. James remembered that the waiting had been the worst part. It was only he and his thoughts in the silence of nature. Eventually, he heard a knock on his door. Then a woman started crying, but James never left his seat in the backyard. Matt had promised to meet him in the backyard to play quidditch and Matt never broke a promise. Slowly, he heard the crying woman approach him and eventually his mother was at his side. She explained that Matthew had gone to help fight the death eaters, but there had been too many. James heard all these words but they didn't mean anything to him. He knew that Matt would be home soon. He had promised. He couldn't be...dead.

When Matthew had died a part of James' heart had died. Most of the time James could keep the hurt locked up inside of him, but tonight he needed to grieve for Matthew properly. This was the one night of the year that James let himself cry for the brother he had loved so dearly. Sometimes when he was at home he would go out into his backyard and sit and wait. He didn't even know what he was waiting for anymore. Maybe he was just waiting for Matthew to come home. Maybe he was waiting for the pain to go away. Maybe he was waiting for nothing, but somehow that was alright too. Matthew never came home and the pain never went away, but in a world that moved too fast it felt good to stop and wait.

Lily sat by the pond thinking about many things. Her thoughts were overwhelming. She was tired of imitating perfection. She wasn't perfect and she knew it. Just take a look at how she treated James Potter and her imperfection was clear. Lily sobbed her heart out. Everybody wanted her to be perfect and she just couldn't be. In fact, she didn't want to be. But now she had worked so hard to seem as though she was that everybody became blind to anything that wasn't perfect. Then she started to hate herself for having these thoughts. People were so much worse off than her and here she was crying her eyes out.

The picture of James' eyes blazing with pain and hurt had been seared into her mind. She couldn't help but remember it over and over again. Things had not gone how she had wanted them to go. She truly had wanted to help James because he didn't deserve to suffer alone. Lily didn't have a clue as to why James was so upset, but she only prayed that somehow the pain would be taken from him. Yes, James had his faults. But anyone who would hex anyone who called her a 'mudblood' and never give up on hoping to get a date with her had to be good. She didn't really hate James like so many thought she did. She only knew that he had great potential and if everybody treated him like royalty he would never reach it.

Dumbledore had always praised Lily highly. He knew that her potential was just as great as James, maybe even greater. Both had such passion. Both had great intelligence. Both had an incredible drive. Though their passion and drive were fueled by very different reasons they were both powerful all the same. Dumbledore acknowledged reluctantly that they would someday play an important role in the fight against evil and most likely lose their lives for it. Yes, it was a noble cause, but Dumbledore hoped that was a day that he wouldn't have to witness. A day that would be far away in the future. A day that should never come, but inevitably would.

A/N- I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed. I hope you keep reading this story and I hope you liked this chapter. It might seem like James and Lily didn't 'express' themselves well, but that was the point I guess. They were too deep in thought to be thinking clearly, if that makes any sense at all. So bear with me and hopefully the next chapter will be better. Thanks for reading and please review!!!!!!