Will You Be There?
Summary: Four people, trapped by their pasts, all have a strange connection to each other—they all find the wrong escapes for themselves. One is addicted to slashing, one to drinking, one to smoking, and one to sex. Can they find themselves and each other before it's too late? Rated R for mentions of violent behavior [slashing, rape, beating, drinking, murder, etc...]. DG BHr.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I, however do own my mind, my body, and some of the characters that may pass through this fic.
The lyrics are from Michael Jackson's song "Will You Be There."
Prologue:
Hold me
Like the River Jordan
And I will then say to thee
You are my friend.
Once again, I'm left in this spot. Everyone's deserted me, and why shouldn't they? Once again, I've proved to be the "freak" or the "sideshow" everyone claims I am. They don't know. They don't know my hell. My mother watches on as my dad beats me, maims me, destroys my soul, my life. They don't know what it's like to see my father, or rather, the man who gave me one-half of my genes, shout out how I'm pathetic, how I'm no good, how I've disgraced him and failed him while he beats me and rapes me. They don't know what it's like to be me. No one knows, except my friend. My knife.
Every night, when I can't take it anymore, he comes out and takes away some of my pain, some of my suffering. He makes me feel like I'm purging my soul of the poisonous taint that my so-called family has caused it. He comes, and with every slash, the crimson comes, freeing me of my hateful sanity. Thank god those people sent me to a boarding school so I wouldn't have to see them every day. No one knows of my scarlet secret. With every red drop, I regain my lost innocence.
However, the red drops have grown to flowing rivers that are now erupting into a vermillion wave that doesn't show any sign of stopping. Now I'm worried. Actually, I have finally accepted the fact that I'm leaving this cursed world. I drift into unconsciousness, when I see an outline. Has my savior finally come to save me from the devil's grasp?
Carry me
Like you are my brother
Love me like a mother
Will you be there?
I found him on the floor, and I could only think of one thing: my brother. He reminded me so much of my youngest brother, who was still one year older than me. He was so helpless that night, covered in a pool of his own blood, his big brown eyes holding that forlorn expression. I was too late to save my brother, but I'm not too late to save him. Using every ounce of strength that I hadn't wasted drinking my memories away, I carried him to my room, the only place I remembered at the moment. Usually in this place, four people share a dorm room, but, since my second year here, I've always had my own room.
I placed his sleeping form on my bed, healing him as best as I could. At least he was still alive. He reminds me that I actually have a heart, that it didn't die when he took over my mind, my heart, my soul, my very essence of being. His cold, hard green eyes pierce my brain even now. They mingle with my brother's confused and sad ones. All the horrid memories come back. Too fast.
I run to my drawer and rip it open, immediately finding my saving grace. I unscrew the top and start drowning out the pictures in my mind. The gin burns my throat as it goes down, but never once does the warmth in my stomach reach the coldness of my body, my heart. I want the warmth back in my body. Is it possible that he can bring the warmth back??
When weary
Tell me will you hold me?
When wrong will you scold me?
When lost will you find me?
I saw her save my best friend from death. Maybe they can save each other. But who will come to save me? Wait, am I alone? I looked up and saw a pair of brown eyes down the hall staring at the scene playing out. When those eyes left their disappearing forms, they ended up on mine. I couldn't believe their eyes. Whoever it was has my mother's eyes.
Gods it's been so long since I thought of her. I miss her so much it's unbearable. She was the only person I ever loved. She was my heart, my soul, the one person who made me truly happy. And just like that she was taken away from me. From the world. By him. The one person I hate most in this world. He killed her as a sign of allegiance to some ugly ass psycho hell bent on controlling the world. I hate them. I hate them all.
I'm still staring at the eyes. I blink once, twice, three times. They're still there. All of a sudden they break away. Feeling another piece of me leave, I reach for my nicotine savior. Damn, I have only one left. That's the second pack today. Lighting my tobacco god up, I take a puff, distressing my mind, my memories. The eyes are back, but now I see more. The hair is curly, the body is beautiful, not too short or too tall, and curvy. Plus leggy. Definitely a girl. But which one? Slowly more of her comes out of the shadows until I see all of her. Oh gods. Not her. Tell me it's anyone but her...
Everyone's taking control of me!
Seems that the world's
Got a role for me!
I'm so confused
Will you show to me?
You'll be there for me
And care enough to bear me?
He's still staring at me. I know he doesn't know who I am, or even whether I'm a girl or not. I know who he is though. One of the men I look for. They help me with my addiction, and in return I give them what they want. It's hard being Miss Perfect, always having straight A's, being the top of all my classes, being Head Girl, always being the good girl, always having no fucking choice but to be manipulated into doing whatever everyone else wants. I had none of my own thoughts. None of my own goals. None of my own dreams. I'm just a shell, a pawn in everyone else's game.
It seems everyone else had my life planned out for me. They pressured me to do what they want because I have the talent, the brains, the beauty. The pressure is too much, too great. So, every night I go to a different man, giving them what they wanted: sex, with no strings attached. It was the only aspect of my life that I have control over. When you're addicted to sex, it was always fun, but there was always an emptiness I could never fill. It was always nagging at me, never letting up. The more I tried to quell it, the more it came back. And harder.
I finally come out of the shadows and let him see me, little by little. He seems genuinely taken aback that I'm out this late. The cigarette in his mouth nearly drops at the sight of me. He must think I'm going to rat him out. Since I'm such a goody-two shoes. We stare at each other a little bit longer. I finally have the nerve to ask him to walk with me to my private room. His cool, ocean blue eyes struck me in a way I never thought possible. Maybe there is hope for this empty feeling after all...
But they told me
A man should be faithful
And walk when not able
And fight till the end
But I'm only human ...
Whoo!!! My first chapter done!!! 20 bucks if you can guess which character's which. Just to let u know, these aren't all their problems. It's just an overview of what they're really hiding. Everything will be revealed as it goes on. It's now 7:30 on a Saturday morning and I am hyper like wo. No coffee I swear!!! Well I have nuttin to say right now xcept review please?? I would appreciate it. Thanx!!!!