Whatcha' thinking now, Keitaro?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Love Hina or Love Hina-ish or any related characters.
A/N: This is my first LH Fanfic. If you believe I have portrayed the characters incorrectly, please R&R. Also, I have very little knowledge of Japan, so anything about it I might mess up, and any help is welcome. As always, please R&R.
"..." Denotes speech (or shouting :)
Italics denotes thinking
Chapter 3: The Beginning of the End
Later that night...
Ugh, the only way I can survive this is total isolation, Keitaro thought.
"Keitaro!" Su called out. "Hiya!" She came with a Su trademark flying kick. BAM!
"Ow! What the heck?!" Keitaro cried out. Why must she come in with feet flying?!
"It's more fun that way!" Su cried out. "Anyways, I want to play with you! Motoko says she has to study! She's so booring!"
"Why do I want to play with you? I have to study, not to mention you got me into this mess!" Keitaro shouted.
"But...but!" Su whined. "It wasn't my fault Naru broke it..." she mumbled.
"Yeah, but you agreed to keep it on!" Keitaro said.
"But –" Just then, however, Kitsune walked by. "Kitsune! Play with me!"
"What? Ahhh!" Kitsune cried, running away quickly.
"Kitsuuuune!" Su cried, running after her. Finally, she's gone. It's just torture with her around, Keitaro thought. Clatter! Shinobu was standing outside of his room just now with food, but obviously had heard what Keitaro had thought.
"No wait! Shinobu! I didn't mean that! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Keitaro groveled.
"I-I'm sorry sempai! I didn't mean to hurt you! Auuuu!" she cried, running away.
"Arrrghh! Stupid stupid stupid!" Keitaro cried, smacking his head on the table several times. His nose started to bleed. I haven't done anything wrong, and yet already my nose is bleeding.
"URASHIMA!" Motoko cried, bursting into the room with her sword drawn. "I have seen the damage your thoughts have done on poor Shinobu! She won't stop crying! For this, I must punish you!" She raised her sword above her head. "DIE!" she shouted, swinging her sword down and sending ki energy towards a very poor immortal manager.
"Aieeeeeeee! It wasn't my fault!" he cried, flying through the ceiling. BAM! He fell back down onto the floor of his room.
"Onii-san!" Kanako shouted, running into the room. What the? When did she arrive?!
"Ara! Urashima-Kun! I hope I'm not interrupting anything!" Mutsumi called out, coming into view. Whaat?! When did she arrive as well? With Kanako, maybe?
"Ara, Urashima-Kun! I forgot to tell you that we were coming! Sorry!" Mutsumi cried. Motoko, meanwhile, was panting from her recent exertion.
"Oh, aren't you the turtle-girl?" she asked. "Otohime Mutsumi?"
"Yup!" she said. Tama-chan came into view, on Mutsumi's shoulder.
"Myu!" it called.
"Tur-tur-turtle! Ahhhh!" Motoko cried, hugging Keitaro impulsively. Eh? Keitaro thought, flustering. Ah she's so soft...uh oh! Keitaro thought. Motoko suddenly stiffened. What the heck am I doing, it's just a turtle, just a turtle! Motoko thought. She sprung away from Keitaro, and saw the entire Hinata Inn staring with open mouths.
"Grrrr...," Naru said, clenching her fist. "You...PERVERT!" Naru shouted, making another Keitaro sized hole through the ceiling.
"Aieeeeee!!!!" Keitaro cried. Motoko watched him fly like she had just made him do before.
"Er, Naru, was that really necessary?" she asked. I guess it was kind of my fault. He did say I was soft...what the heck am I thinking? Naru turned in surprise.
"What? I was surprised he hadn't already been blasted away by you! He was obviously taking advantage of you!" Naru said.
"Actually he had already been blasted by me," Motoko said, pointing to the other Keitaro hole.
"Oh. But why was he hugging you?" Naru asked.
"Au! Au! Don't talk about such things!" Shinobu wailed.
"Um, it was nothing. Nothing at all," Motoko said, blushing red.
"Motoko! You're turning red! Do you like Keitaro?" Su called out.
"No-no, it is nothing like that at all!" Motoko denied, blushing even more.
"Don't tell me you're taking what he said in his dream seriously," Kitsune said, waving her finger.
"What?! I had no such notion!" Motoko shouted.
"You don't have to shout. Kitsune is always saying such things," Naru said.
"Nevertheless, I will prove what I said!" Motoko continued to shout. Suddenly, before Motoko could "prove" what she said, Keitaro crashed through the ceiling, landing on Motoko and knocking both of them out.
"Au! Au! Sempai! Motoko-sempai!" Shinobu cried, wringing her hands.
"Don't worry, Shinobu," Naru said. "Su, Kitsune, drag Motoko to her room. Shinobu, help me drag Keitaro to his futon." Kitsune and Su moved Motoko to her room while Shinobu brought out Keitaro's futon. Naru lifted up Keitaro, but struggled from the weight.
"Man, he's heavy!" Naru exclaimed.
"Here, Narusegawa-sempai," Shinobu said, lifting his feet. They maneuvered him to the futon. "Oomph!" Keitaro grunted subconsciously. Shinobu put the covers over him. "I-I'll look after him," Shinobu said, nervously. Narusegawa looked surprised.
"Oh. Okay, um, sure," she said, then walked out and closed the door. Shinobu sat down on the floor. She hated every time sempai was hurt, but she couldn't do anything about it. The door opened. Narusegawa appeared in the doorway.
"Um, you might overhear him speaking, because that's his dream. Just wanted to warn you," she said.
"Oh. Okay," Shinobu said. Narusegawa lingered for a moment then left, mumbling about studying. Shinobu stared at the unconscious form of Keitaro.
"He's so cute..." Shinobu told herself. Wait, what?
"Help me..." Keitaro said.
"Sempai! What do you need?" Shinobu said, standing up. Keitaro did not stir. "He must be dreaming," Shinobu said to herself, sitting back down. "Ah Shinobu!" Keitaro said again. Shinobu instantly stood up again, but sat back down when she saw Keitaro was still asleep. "Should I leave? I don't want to intrude on his dream. But what if he needs help when he does wake up?" Shinobu was indecisive, but she didn't move.
"Shinobu! Can you make me some lunch?" Keitaro called out. Shinobu looked around to see if anyone heard it, but suddenly remembered that he was dreaming it, so only she could hear it. She listened more closely, which allowed her to enter his dream as a bystander. She saw Keitaro leaving for cramming school, after grabbing the lunch she had just made. "Thanks Shinobu!" Keitaro said, waving. "Ah, do you know where Narusegawa is?" he asked the dream version of Shinobu.
"No, sempai, I believe she left already," the dream-Shinobu said.
"Good," Keitaro said. He moved closer and patted Shinobu on the head. What is sempai doing? The bystander-Shinobu asked herself. "Here's a thanks for lunch," Keitaro said, then kissed the dream-Shinobu.
"Sempai?!" the dream-Shinobu and the bystander Shinobu said. Is this his dream...or mine? The bystander-version said.
"Please call me Keitaro," Keitaro told the dream-Shinobu, holding her hands. The dream Shinobu blushed a deep shade of red.
"Um...sempai, w-won't you be late for school?" the dream-Shinobu asked.
"I just need to ask you a question, Shinobu..." Keitaro turned his head down. The dream-Shinobu shifted nervously. Is this the dream sempai was talking about? The bystander-Shinobu thought. Keitaro fumbled for something in his pocket. "Will you go to Neverland with me?"
"S-sempai! What about Narusegawa-sempai?" the dream-Shinobu asked.
"Never mind her; it's you I wanted to ask. So?" Keitaro asked again.
"Oh, o-of course, sempai!" the dream-Shinobu cried, hugging Keitaro for all she was worth.
"That's my Shinobu," Keitaro said. Oh, sempai...the bystander thought. Suddenly she was back in Keitaro's room.
"Ugh," Keitaro said. "Ow."
"Sempai! Are you okay?" Shinobu cried out, seeing that Keitaro had finally awoken.
"Yeah. That was just more brutal than usual, even for Narusegawa," Keitaro said. Keitaro suddenly stiffened.
"Sempai?" Shinobu said. Guess I can only ask her...Keitaro thought. Ask me what? Shinobu thought, hearing Keitaro's thought.
"Did you, um, happen to hear my, (cough), dream?" Keitaro asked. Oh no! What should I say? I don't want to lie...but I can't just leave! "Shinobu?" Keitaro asked again.
"Uh, uh," she flustered.
"It's okay if you did...I just hope I didn't, um hurt you or anything," Keitaro mumbled, turning away. What am I thinking? Of course I did! I always hurt Shinobu! Oh shoot! She can hear me think! Keitaro turned around bowing down.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Forgive me! Forgive me – aieee!" he cried as Motoko came into the room, slashing at Keitaro.
"Motoko-sempai!" Shinobu cried. Motoko simply sheathed her sword.
"Are you okay? What did he do?" Motoko asked.
"Um," Shinobu said. "I think I'll go make dinner." She walked out.
"Aieeee!" Keitaro cried, crashing back through the ceiling. "Man, now I have three holes to fix!" he moaned standing slowly back up. He felt a sword to his throat.
"What did you do to Shinobu?" Motoko asked. Oh no, Keitaro thought.
"Um, no-nothing at all! Ha ha!" he laughed, nervously.
"Even Mutsumi can tell that is a lie!" Motoko threatened. Darn it! She's right!
"Yes! Now what did you do?" Motoko asked again.
"Um, um, nothing!" he cried, suddenly pushing the sword away and running for his life.
"URASHIMA! Come back here!" Motoko said, running after him. She gathered up her ki energy and swung.
"Ahh!" Keitaro cried, narrowly dodging the attack. He wished he had a sword, or some sort of pipe. Suddenly he saw a mop lying where he had left it from cleaning the springs. "Aha!" he cried grabbing the mop in one hand. "I'm not so helpless now!" he sobbed. "Ahhhhh!" He suddenly swung about, blocking Motoko's sweeping attack.
"What? So you dare to challenge me? I will show no mercy!" Motoko shouted, swinging her blade with all her might.
"Waaah! You never show mercy anyways!" Keitaro shouted, his mop shattering to pieces while he flew down the hallway from Motoko's ki blast.
"Urashima! You never learn, do you? Today, you will die!" Motoko shouted down the hall.
"Waaah! I don't want to die today! How about tomorrow?" Keitaro cried out.
"TODAY URASHIMA!" she shouted again. "How many times have we put up with your perverseness?! It ends today!" I wouldn't call beating me up all those times putting up with it, Keitaro thought, while he formulated an answer.
"Insolence? DIE!" Motoko screamed, sending a huge ki wave towards Keitaro.
"Waaah!" he cried, again dodging the blast that tore a huge hole where he was just standing. "I don't want to fix that!" he shouted, crying.
"Then don't move. HIYA!" Another ki wave tore through another wall where Naru's room was. She looked up, then suddenly covered herself because she was changing.
"You...you...PERVERT!" She cried, preparing to sock Keitaro. But Motoko wasn't about to let him escape so quickly.
"DIE URASHIMA!" she bellowed, sending Keitaro running down the hall again before anything happened.
"Keitaro! Come back here!" Naru shouted, joining the chase. Every so often a ki wave would be flung at Keitaro, breaking more and more of Hinata-sou and every time he would cry, "I don't want to have to fix that!" To which of course Naru and Motoko replied, "THEN DON'T MOVE!" Su, upon hearing the commotion, joined in.
"Keitaro! What'd did ya do this time!" she called.
"Nothing! I didn't do anything!" Keitaro frantically said.
"Liar!" Motoko answered, shooting another ki wave.
"I don't want to pay for that!" Keitaro whined.
"Then STOP MOVING!" Naru said.
"What's going on?" Kitsune said. "Hey having fun without me? Not fair!"
"This isn't fun!" Keitaro shouted. BAM! Kitsune was smacked by a ki wave as Keitaro dodged it.
"Darn you, Urashima!" Motoko shouted. Kitsune, meanwhile, was flying through the air. So this is what Keitaro experiences everyday. Uh oh, looks painful landing on the concrete. BAM! She landed right outside the tea house.
"Ow! That hurt!" Kitsune said.
"Hm? What are you doing here?" Haruka asked Kitsune. "And what the heck is going on at the Hinata-sou?" She stuck her thumb out and motioned behind her. Kitsune looked up and could see the Hinata-sou shaking and rocking from the ki blasts of Motoko's blade. "Did Motoko invite Seta over to duel or something?"
"Um, actually right now she wants to kill Keitaro," Kitsune said.
"When will that girl learn?" Haruka said.
"Learn what?" Kitsune asked.
"That he can't die." To prove her point, it seems, Keitaro landed right in front of Kitsune on his head. He crashed down into the pavement, causing debris to fly everywhere, damaging the tea house and leaving a crater several meters wide.
"He can't live through that," Kitsune mused. Surprise! Keitaro got up slowly, the only sign of his recent fall was his head was bleeding and his shirt was torn.
"Ow, that hurt a lot!" Keitaro said while Kitsune sweat-dropped.
"H-how did you live?" Kitsune asked.
"Huh? What?" Keitaro asked. "Ah, Aunt Haruka." SLAP!
"It's Haruka-san," she said.
"Sorry. I didn't mean that. Well, actually I did, but –" SLAP!
"Sorry!"
"What are you going to do about the Inn?" Haruka asked.
"Well, I don't know, I mean it's all Motoko's fault! I told her to stop trying to kill me, but she won't listen to reason!"
"Urashima! There you are!" Motoko's voice suddenly said.
"Ahhhhh! Sorry Haruka-san, I've got to run!" Keitaro shouted, and sprinted away.
"COME BACK HERE!" Naru shouted, waving her fist. The group continued to chase after him. Kitsune stayed behind, when Mutsumi walked out of the tea house.
"That was delicious!" she said. "Thank you Haruka-san!"
"No problem," Haruka answered. "By the way, I have a favor to ask of both of you." Kitsune and Mutsumi waited patiently for Haruka to continue. "I've been down on workers, so I need some help at the tea house. Would you two like to help? I've already got Kanako helping out."
"Why is she here, anyways?" Kitsune asked. Ever since the incident where she took over the Hinata-sou, Kitsune had had a secret dislike for her.
"Beats me. She said she was here to visit her Onii-san. Isn't that enough?" Haruka answered.
"Sure. Whatever," Kitsune said.
"So you want to help?"
"Would we get paid?" Kitsune asked.
"I would love to help Haruka-san!" Mutsumi cried out. Haruka clapped her hands together.
"Then it's settled. You can report to me at eight o'clock tomorrow morning."
"Wait! I didn't agree to anything yet!" Kitsune complained.
"You owe me anyways for all the sake you steal," Haruka replied.
"Oh. Heh heh. Um, about that..." Kitsune trailed off. Darn it! I don't want to work!
"Oh look at that!" Mutsumi cried, pointing at a flying object traveling rapidly towards them. "It's a shooting star!"
"No! It's Keitaro!" Kitsune cried. "DUCK!" She grabbed Mutsumi and pulled her to the ground as Keitaro shot through the air above them.
"Ooo, that looks like fun!" Mutsumi said. Kitsune sweat-dropped.
"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Haruka suddenly yelled. The group following Keitaro, which composed of Naru, Motoko, Shinobu, and Su, suddenly froze. "You guys have gone too far!" Haruka exclaimed.
"But, Haruka-san, this pervert must be punished..." Motoko started to say.
"Can you punish him with out destroying the Hinata-sou in the process?!" Haruka shouted. Everyone turned to look at the Hinata-sou, which seemed like a piece of cardboard shot with a machine gun. Keitaro, meanwhile had gotten up, slowly, and was limping over. He saw everyone staring, and turned around.
"HOLY MOTHER OF- mmph!" he cried, as Haruka covered his mouth.
"There are kids present," she said.
"BUT WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THAT?" Keitaro continued to yell at the top of his lungs pointing at the Hinata-sou. I should kick them all out until they pay for that. Buwahaha! Oh, I'm so evil. Suddenly all the girls had a frozen look on their face.
"Yo-you wouldn't dare!" Motoko shouted. "TAKE THIS URASHIMA!" BAM! Keitaro went flying for the last time that day, making another hole in the Hinata-sou, riddling it with yet another "bullet."
"Seriously, how are you guys going to pay for that," Kanako said, appearing from nowhere.
A/N: Sorry if this seems like a bad ending, but it took a while before I decided what would happen. Please R&R.