Whatcha' thinking now, Keitaro?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Love Hina or Love Hina-ish or any related characters.
A/N: sniff Wow, so many reviews! I'm so happy! Now, the story hopes to get better here. More chaos. More chases. More accidents. More of just about everything. I forget what some people call others (specifically what Mutsumi calls other people) so if I have done it wrong, please correct! As always, please R&R.
"…" Denotes speech (or shouting :)
Italics denotes thinking
Chapter 4: Kitsune's Favor
The First Day
Keitaro woke up early, due to the multiple rays of light coming through his wall. Through my wall?! Oh yeah, yesterday… He remembered suddenly everything, including the massive damage to the Hinata-sou. Now I must truly empty out my pockets…but it's everyone's fault, not just mine! Okay, I'll call a meeting! Keitaro decided. He got up, dressed, and walked to the kitchen. Oh shoot, today I have cramming school. He saw Shinobu cooking. "Shinobu, could you cook some extra and cook me some lunch?" Keitaro asked.
"Sure, sempai!" Shinobu said. Su suddenly popped inside the kitchen.
"Shinobu! When's breakfast? I'm hungry!" Su asked.
"You're always hungry, Su," Motoko said, entering after Su.
"Breakfast will be soon," Shinobu answered. Meanwhile, Kitsune, Mutsumi, Naru, and Kanako entered.
"Oh my! Kitsune I forgot! We have to help Haruka-san now! It's eight o'clock," Mutsumi said. Keitaro thought this was the perfect chance to have a meeting. After all it was their fault that the Hinata-sou is so damaged, he thought. Wait, they can hear my thoughts!
"Keitaro," Motoko began.
"Um, um," Keitaro flustered. "It's true though! I just want an emergency meeting!" Motoko took a running start and made Keitaro fly through the air, screaming.
"Meeting started," she said.
After everyone had eaten, they all gathered round the table. Mutsumi had left to ask Haruka to join, but Keitaro started anyways.
"Okay we all know why we're here," he said.
"Because of you!" Su said gleefully.
"What? It's not like that at all!" Keitaro denied.
"Su is correct. It is your perverted thoughts that forced me into action," Motoko stated.
"What? I was just trying to save my life!" Keitaro said.
"It's not worth saving," Naru said.
"What? That's mean!" Keitaro whined. "It's all Motoko's fault, using destructive ki waves!"
"Onii-san, can we decided on the matter at hand instead of assigning blame?" Kanako, the ever-so-reasonable one asked. Keitaro was not done, however.
"And Su's, for planting this stupid device in my head. Can we get rid of it? Please?" Keitaro asked.
"It makes perfect sense to me," Haruka said, entering.
"What does?" Shinobu asked.
"Taking it out. One's thoughts should be one's own, otherwise, look what happens," Haruka said, pointing to the wreckage around her.
"But he has not completed his punishment. He shall not be allowed to end it early on this excuse," Motoko said.
"Fine, just offering some wise advice," Haruka said.
"Yeah listen to Aunt Haru–" SLAP! Keitaro was slapped hard by Haruka.
"I've told you enough times to call me Haruka-san!" she said.
"Haruka-san has good advice!" Keitaro continued, rubbing his head where he had been so forcefully slapped.
"No, that is just not possible. This is the best way to keep surveillance on Urashima."
"But!" Keitaro began.
"No," Motoko said. This is weird; they usually listen to Aunt Haruka. SLAP!
"Come on!" Keitaro said. "That's not fair! I thought you said not to listen in to other people's thoughts?"
"Can't help it. If I have to, I must correct what you think," Haruka said flippantly.
"Haruka-san!" Keitaro whined.
"So who's going to pay for this damage?" Kanako asked, again bringing the topic back to the subject at hand.
"We all should since it's all out faults," Keitaro managed to say, finally.
"Yeah, how much is it?" Kitsune asked. "I need also to replace my sake that was spilled everywhere."
"Kitsune! That type of stuff doesn't matter!" Keitaro shouted. What a waste of money she is! Always gambling and drinking, gambling and drinking! Kitsune sniffed, and unbeknownst to Keitaro faked a tear.
"You're so mean! I need sake to survive!" Kitsune wailed. Why must my thoughts be public? Keitaro thought to himself.
"Urashima, you must be punished!" Motoko shouted, drawing her sword.
"Alright already! Kitsune, stop faking!" Haruka said.
"Eh?" Kitsune asked, stopping.
"See? Why am I always punished when everyone is always getting me into trouble!" Keitaro said.
"Keitaro, you have to stop it too! Here is the estimated repair cost I have done." With that, Haruka threw a piece of paper onto the table.
"1,000,000 YEN?!" everyone shouted. (A/N: I don't know the conversion rate, but a friend said it's about 100 yen to one US dollar, so I'm saying that it costs about 1000 US dollars)
"Hey, you went through here like rampaging bulls!" Haruka pointed out.
"I-it was Motoko's fault!" Kitsune said.
"What? Blaming me? It was Urashima!" Motoko said.
"Say what? I wasn't the one throwing around ki like a baseball!" Keitaro said in his defense.
"Urashima…" Motoko threatened.
"Au! Everyone should just pay their part!" Shinobu suddenly broke in. "Everyone should just pay 125,000 yen!"
"But that's so much…" Kitsune whined. "Plus I didn't do any of the damage!"
"I will pay my part, since I am the one who did chase down Urashima. But it is all for a good cause of getting rid of evil," Motoko said.
"How come I'm evil?" Keitaro whined.
"Did you not admit it recently?" Motoko asked.
"Um, um, um," Keitaro flustered. DARN IT ALL! he cried in his head. SLAP!
"There are kids around," Haruka said. "Anyways, does everyone agree to the price?"
"Why should I pay?" Kanako asked. "I'm just here to visit Onii-san."
"True. Okay, Keitaro, you have to pay twice as much, since you're the manager and all," Kitsune said.
"WHAT? Why do you get to decide that?!" Keitaro screamed.
"Everyone agree?" Kitsune asked.
"Yup, it's fair," Naru said.
"Of course as the kanrinin, Keitaro should pay for more," Motoko said.
"Keitaro owes me for breaking my mind reading device! This is how he can pay me back!" Su said, jumping onto Keitaro and hanging on like a koala bear to a tree.
"Su…ah…can't…breathe…get…off!" Keitaro shouted, finally managing to push Su off of himself. "Ah, fresh air," Keitaro said, breathing deeply. "Ummph!" he cried as Su stuck something in his mouth. It was a cookie.
"Look at what my Instant-Fooderizer made!" Su cried. "Isn't it yummy?" Keitaro responded by spitting it out.
"It tastes like curry!" he shouted. "This is disgu-…I mean a great disguise for a cookie!"
"Thanks Keitaro!" Su responded. Phew, Keitaro thought impulsively. Got out of that…one. Oh, darn it all, Keitaro thought, as he remembered everyone at this meeting could hear him.
"Lying again, Urashima?" Motoko asked, menace dripping out of every word, out of the way she pronounced "Urashima" like it would be the last time Keitaro would hear it.
"N-no! I just simply meant to say–" Keitaro began, but he was stopped, that is stopped, by a force called "Su's flying kick." SMACK!
"Ha ha! Caught you lying! Now I get to play!" Su cried, and she brought out a missile launcher. "Target acquired…firing!" Su shouted gleefully.
"NO! I don't want to pay for more–" but of course, he didn't finish his sentence. BAM! BAM! BAM! Three direct hits sent Keitaro flying through the Hinata-sou. Yet for some reason he was lucky this time. Or you could say due to all his unluckiness before, some luck was due to him. Anyhow, instead of crashing through the Hinata-sou, he flew through an open door into the springs, not damaging any of the Hinata-sou. With a giant splash, Keitaro landed in the hot springs.
"Ara, Keitaro-kun!" Keitaro heard Mutsumi say. He looked towards the voice, but knew the second after he did he would regret it. Of course Mutsumi was bathing, with only a towel covering her. "Ara, Keitaro-kun!" Mutsumi said again. "You should warn me next time, so I can get a bathing suit! Oh well!"
"Mutsumi! What are you doing?" Keitaro asked trying to pull away. Mutsumi was holding a towel (not the one she was wearing, you perverts:)!)
"Didn't you want to take a bath? I'll wash your back!" Mutsumi said.
"Ah!" Keitaro cried, as Mutsumi stripped him of his shirt. "Help! Anyone!"
"Ha ha!" Su laughed. "I want to have fun too!" Su ran towards a flailing Keitaro and ripped off his pants, leaving him in his boxers.
"Not my pants!" Keitaro shouted. "Give my pants back!" Keitaro reached, but was pulled back down by Mutsumi.
"Ara, Keitaro-kun! I can't wash your back if you keep moving!" Suddenly, Kanako appeared from nowhere.
"I will help you to wash his back," she said, and tied Keitaro up, plus putting a piece of duct tape over Keitaro's mouth. She grabbed a towel and started to wash.
"Mmmph! (translation: HELP!)" Keitaro said. Shinobu came over timidly.
"I-I would also like to help!" she cried, grabbing a towel and also began to rub.
"MMMMPH?! (translation: SHINOBU?!)" Keitaro exclaimed. Keitaro suddenly remembered he didn't have to talk. Someone, anyone save me! He thought furiously. He glanced through the open door of the bath. How did it end up like this? He thought as he glanced. Everyone, including Haruka was staring open mouthed as the three girls washed Keitaro's back, dumbfounded. Everyone, that is, except Su, who was now running this way.
"Haha! My time-freeze ray works! Now they can't do anything either! I'll help you wash his back, too! Then I'll wash his front!" Su screamed in excitement.
"Mmmph?!" (Front?!) Keitaro said through the tape. He exerted with all his might, and broke away from the girls, running for all his might. Up the stairs, through the hallway, into his room, through the connecting hole and into the room where they started, the kitchen he ran.
"Oomph!" he cried as he tripped over Naru and fell down on top of her, knocking her out of the "time-freeze." This could have been good, if he hadn't fallen so that his face was between her breasts and of course he couldn't move very well.
"You…you…you…dare…YOU PERVERT!" she bellowed and punched Keitaro so hard that as he went flying through the ceiling he created a sonic boom. Here it is, just for effect.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!
The noise shocked the rest of the group (Motoko, Haruka, and Kitsune) out of the time-freeze as well.
"Wow! That was a good one!" Su said, watching Keitaro's form become smaller and smaller and finally wink out.
"He'll be back," Haruka said, nonchalantly. "So, since Keitaro's not here to make you beat him to a pulp, do you all agree to pay? Except Kanako, which Keitaro already agreed to pay double."
"Did onii-san actually agree? I do not wish to burden him. I will pay the 125,000 yen also," Kanako promised.
"Good. Then I suggest you all get moving. Kitsune, Mutsumi come with me," Haruka said.
"Where is Keitaro-kun? ♥" Mutsumi asked.
"He'll be back. Come on you two," Haruka said, walking towards the exit.
"Why must I come along?" Kitsune grumbled.
"You agreed. Anyways, this is how you can make your 125,000 yen, anyways," Haruka answered.
"Fine. At least I don't have to go looking for a job," Kitsune said, then left with Mutsumi and Haruka. The other girls filed out, all claiming to go looking for jobs. Even Su went, though she had to be dragged by Shinobu while crying, "But a job isn't fun! I want to play!"
Several Hours Later…
BAMM!
"Oh good, you've arrived," Haruka said. Keitaro wriggled around on the concrete. Haruka turned to look at him. "Oh, you're still tied up. Here, let me get those off for you." Keitaro waited patiently while Haruka found the knot and started to untie it. "Man, she tied this really well. Hold up while I get a knife," she said. She walked inside the tea house. Kitsune walked out.
"Keitaro! Thought I heard you land. How was the flight?" she asked.
"Mmmph! Mmmph mpph!" (Kitsune! Help me!) Keitaro said.
"You want help? I tried untying Kanako's knots, and I know that I can't do anything…but I don't think I can let this opportunity pass by!" she said, giggling. She looked around for anyone, but upon seeing nobody, descended on Keitaro.
"MMMPH?!" (KITSUNE?) Keitaro shouted through the duct tape.
"Keitaro! Prepare to feel the wrath of MITSUNE KONNO! By the way this is for making me pay!" Kitsune lifted up her hands…then started to viciously tickle Keitaro. He laughed so hard that the duct tape over his mouth fell off.
"HAHAHAHA! Please stop! I-I ,ha-ha, can't, mmph, take it anymore!" Keitaro begged while laughing.
"No! You must taste the full wrath!" Kitsune said. It was really bad for Keitaro, since he wasn't even wearing a shirt, so there was no relief from that. Plus Kitsune was showing no mercy.
"M-my insides are bursting! Hahaha! H-h-help!" Keitaro cried. Kitsune kept on going with an evil smile on her face.
"H-H-HELP!" Keitaro cried again. The door to the tea house opened and Haruka stepped out with a knife.
"What is going on here?" she asked. Kitsune stopped the tickling and looked up.
"Um…" she stuttered.
"Aunt Haruka! Thank goodness!" Keitaro said. STOMP!
"It's Haruka-san!" Haruka said. "How many times must I tell you that!"
"Ow…foot…in…face," Keitaro groaned. While Keitaro writhed in agony, however, Haruka cut him free. Keitaro stretched, and finally pushed himself up.
"O man! That feels good!" Keitaro shouted. He jumped up and down, feeling free.
"Woo hoo hoo!" he shouted with glee.
"Great, it's wonderful that you feel so good. Now how are you going to earn your 125,000?" Haruka asked Keitaro.
"Huh?" Keitaro asked. "Did you agree to something while I was not there?"
"Of course we did!" Kitsune said.
"You get back to work, if you ever want to earn your share," Haruka said.
"Fine, whatever," Kitsune grumbled. She slowly walked back in to the tea house.
"So have you any idea?" Haruka asked.
"Well, Shirai and Haitani probably have some sort of job I can do," Keitaro said. Though it's probably hard and pays low…
"What are you going to do about your little "mind projecting" device?" Haruka asked.
"Oh. That. I forgot about it," Keitaro said. MAN! I HATE IT! "I'll just go get someone to take it off," Keitaro said, scratching his head.
"Good luck," Haruka said, walking back inside. Keitaro walked up to the Hinata-sou.
"Hello? Anyone home?" Keitaro called out. Of course no one is, because they all went out to earn money. Maybe Mutsumi-chan can take it off… Keitaro suddenly imagined Mutsumi trying to twist and pull out a pin in his head while Keitaro was sleeping. Okay, bad idea. He walked back to the tea house.
"Welcome to the Hinata Tea House!" Kitsune said. "Oh wait, it's just you."
"What do you mean just me?!" Keitaro whined.
"What can I do for you?" Kitsune asked.
"I was wondering if you could take off Su's stupid invention. I can't work if I have my thoughts being projected all the time! Please?"
"Well Motoko did ban anyone from taking it off…" Kitsune said.
"Please? I'll do anything you want!" Keitaro begged, kneeling down.
"Anything?" Kitsune said. Will I regret this? Keitaro asked himself.
"Oh yeah you will," Kitsune said. I hate this device! "Here, we'll put you in Haruka-san's room. I'm sure she won't mind." Kitsune led Keitaro up to Haruka's room in her tea house. "Here," Kitsune said, grabbing Haruka's futon and pulling out to the center of the room. "You'd probably better not sleep in the bed. She might get angry," Kitsune said.
"Ok. Um, could you get the sleeping pills from my room in the Hinata-sou? It'll be much easier to sleep," Keitaro asked.
"Sure," Kitsune said, and then left with an evil grin on her face. Keitaro lay down on the futon, but just on the top of it. Don't want to be seriously hurt by Aunt Haruka. Keitaro lay on his side when he heard the door slide open.
"Kitsune?" he said. He turned around to see Mutsumi instead.
"Ara! Keitaro-kun!" she said. "What are you doing here?" Keitaro didn't want Motoko to find out about him taking it out, and informing Mutsumi would definitely make Motoko discover that Keitaro was invention-less. But he didn't like telling Mutsumi a lie, since she was so innocent. Oh, what to do what to do, he thought. "Keitaro-kun? What do you want to do?" Mutsumi asked.
"Ah, I'm just taking a nap!" Keitaro said. "Just a nap, just a nap."
"Are you tired?" Mutsumi asked.
"No, not really," Keitaro answered without thinking. "I mean, of course I am!"
"Ara, Keitaro-kun! You're such a bad liar! ♥" Mutsumi said, smiling. "Why are you sleeping if you are not tired?" She looked around suspiciously. "Did Kitsune trick you? I saw you two talking. Or maybe she was making professions of love!" Mutsumi cried.
"What?! It was no such thing, no such thing at all! Kitsune doesn't feel like that at all! It was just…ah…something else," Keitaro flustered. Phew, I didn't reveal the device, Keitaro thought. Suddenly he froze. Not again! He cried in his brain.
"What device, Keitaro-kun?" Mutsumi asked. "Is it good?"
"Um, actually, this device will help me with Narusegawa!"
"Really? I'm so happy! When will you confess?" Mutsumi asked.
"What?! That's not what I meant. I mean it'll help me from being hurt by Narusegawa!" Although the opposite has happen-darn it, I did it again!
"Keitaro-kun! You are such a bad liar! ♥" Mutsumi giggled. "If you say the opposite of what you just said, everyone can tell you are lying! Even me!"
"Arrgh!" Keitaro moaned.
"Keitaro-kun, are you sick? I'll get some medicine!" Mutsumi said. She immediately left. She's right, Keitaro thought. I can't lie if I automatically think the opposite. And whenever I lie, I always do that subconsciously. Arrgh! I'm forced to tell the brutal truth now!
"I'm baaaack!" Kitsune said, opening the door and shaking a bottle of pills. She also pulled a bottle of water from her pocket. "Here, you can use this to swallow it," she said, giving the stuff to Keitaro.
"Thanks," Keitaro said, reaching his hand out. Suddenly, Kitsune took it away.
"Actually, I want a favor now," Kitsune said.
"What? What if you don't pull it out? I want leverage!" Keitaro whined.
"Ooo, you've been learning. But I still have the ultimate leverage. So, you'll just have to trust me," she said while sticking out her tongue at him.
"Fine, how much do you want?" Keitaro said, pulling out his wallet from his pocket.
"Uh uh uh, I don't want money," Kitsune said.
"What? Don't tell me…" Keitaro trailed off.
"I want a kiss!" Kitsune said.
"WHAT?!" Keitaro said. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
"Yup! ♥ Now are you going to pucker up, or what?" Kitsune said, with a glint in her eye.
"Um…um…" Keitaro said.
"Hello, Keitaro-kun! Oh, hi Kitsune-chan!" Mutsumi cried. "Keitaro-kun, I found medicine!" She held up a bottle.
"Turtle girl! You're here just in time!" Kitsune said.
"Time? For what?" Mutsumi said.
"Keitaro is going to kiss me! ♥" Kitsune said. "Isn't that right?"
"Um…" Keitaro stuttered.
"Aha! So she was making confessions of love!" Mutsumi said. "Keitaro-kun, I'm so happy!"
"Um…" Keitaro stuttered again. It seemed it was all he could say. Kitsune was very happy, because unknown to Keitaro, Kitsune had set up a video camera to catch all the juicy details for later viewing and blackmail.
"So, what are you going to do?" Kitsune asked.
"Um…"
"Fine. If you won't give it, I'll take it!" Kitsune shouted gleefully, jumping upon Keitaro and grabbing his head. She pulled his head closer and closer till they were lip to lip then finally she kissed him.
"Mmmph!" Keitaro cried. What the heck? Keitaro thought. Kitsune lingered on Keitaro's lips. Ah, it feels good…she's so soft…what the heck am I thinking?! Keitaro thought. Finally Keitaro summoned the strength to push away.
"Kitsune! What the heck?" Keitaro said. "Taking advantage of me!" Kitsune put her hand over her mouth lightly and giggled.
"Keitaro, you're one naughty boy! And you say you love Narusegawa! Not to mention you don't know how to kiss at all!" Kitsune said, and then giggled again.
"Not fair! Not fair at all!" Mutsumi cried. "I want to kiss Keitaro-kun too!" She then promptly grabbed Keitaro and kissed him on the cheek. Keitaro blushed a deep red.
"Eh?!" he cried. Yes! This feels so good…two girls in a couple minutes…wait a minute! Keitaro thought. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He thought, banging his head against the floor. Haha! More blackmail! Kitsune thought evilly.
"Thank you Keitaro-kun! It was most enjoyable!" Mutsumi said. She then grabbed Kitsune and kissed her on the cheek.
"Eh?!" Kitsune asked, flailing. Stupid! I'll have to edit this part out, and that'll take a while.
"Thank you for letting me kiss Keitaro-kun! ♥"Mutsumi said. Then she left to go back out to the tea house.
"After going through that torture, can you take it off now?" Keitaro asked wearily.
"Sure. Here are the pills." Kitsune gave him the pills. Finally can get rid of this device. He swallowed them, drank some water, then instantly fell asleep. Guess I should actually take it off, since I promised, Kitsune thought. She was about to when she entered Keitaro's dream, just like Shinobu (though she didn't know it). Except unlike Shinobu, she could actually tell that she was just listening in, and the net effect is she could pull herself out of his dream.
She was standing around the hot springs, and saw Keitaro. He was innocently walking when he slipped on a banana peel.
"Ahhhh!" the dream Keitaro cried, and he fell through the door of the hot springs. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Keitaro shouted, and then realized that no one was in the hot springs. "Phew!" he breathed, when Kitsune saw the dream version of herself grab Keitaro by the shoulders. Of course, her dream self was only wearing a towel.
"So, what perverted thing were you planning on doing?" the dream Kitsune asked.
"What? It was nothing! Nothing at all!" Keitaro said, flustering.
"Uh huh, whatever pervert! ♥" Kitsune-dream-version said. "I bet you were trying to catch someone naked! Maybe…Naru!"
"Never! Never in my life! I swear!" Keitaro said, flailing his arms in a typical manga manner. The dream Kitsune put her finger on Keitaro's chest.
"Liar!" she accused, then pushed him in the hot springs.
"What was that for?!" Keitaro whined. Suddenly his eyes bulged as Kitsune closed the door and got in with Keitaro.
"Come on…you know you've always wanted to take a bath with me!" Kitsune said. "Maybe not consciously, but you want to!"
"Not true! Not true! My subconscious is lying!" Keitaro screamed, trying to get out.
"Shh! You should be more quite. What if Motoko or Naru hears you?" Kitsune said, giggling.
"Ah, you got me into this mess!" Keitaro said, but he said it quieter. Kitsune took out a sake bottle from one of her many hidden storages.
"Want a drink?" Kitsune asked. Keitaro sweat-dropped.
"How can you think about drinking?! I must get out of here!" Keitaro yelled.
"Stay here! I lied to you before, no one's here anyways," Kitsune said. Man, the bystander Kitsune thought to herself, I'm flirting like there's no tomorrow! Too bad I can't get this on tape!
"Maybe I'll drink a little…" Keitaro said, and he took the bottle and drank it all in one gulp.
"Geez, drink all of it will you!" Kitsune said. "No worries, I have more." With that, the dream-Kitsune brought out three more bottles. "One for me, one for you, and one for safekeeping." Man, Keitaro's going to get really drunk, the bystander Kitsune thought. Must be my plan.
"Hahaha!" Keitaro laughed, now fully drunk. The dream Kitsune was also visibly drunk.
"So, Keitaro, when are you gonna ask Naru out?" the drunk Kitsune said. "Everyone knows you love her!"
"Eh?" the tipsy Keitaro asked.
"Before you marry her, I want a kiss!" the drunk Kitsune demanded.
"A kiss?" Keitaro asked. Man, this guy dreams some weird stuff. I'd never do that, the bystander Kitsune thought huffily. "Sure…" the dream Keitaro said, then grabbed the also drunk Kitsune and slobbered all over her, trying to kiss her.
"Hee hee, Keitaro," the dream and drunken Kitsune said, "You're so bad! ♥"
"Uh, let me try again!" Keitaro said, and with that he tried again, this time actually successfully landing his lips upon Kitsune's. They kissed for a while, and because Keitaro was so drunk and inexperienced, he passed out, though not before mentioning that Kitsune was very tasty!
"Moron," the dream Kitsune said, then lay down and passed out. Woah, how can two people pass out in a dream? The bystander asked herself. Apparently, though, both weren't passed out.
"Kitsune?" Keitaro asked.
"Eh? What's up, I'm trying to sleep!"
"I love you!" the drunken man said. The dream Kitsune was shocked out from the effects of the alcohol.
"Um…" she blushed.
"Will you marry me?" Keitaro, ever so drunk, asked.
"YES! I will!" the dream Kitsune shouted in response. Okay, this is too weird. I'm getting out! The bystander Kitsune thought, then pulled herself out. She was back in Haruka's room with a sleeping Keitaro. He wouldn't be that bad at all, actually, she thought to herself. Oh wait, I'm supposed to pull out that pin thing. She went to his head and searched through his hair. Hmm. Can't find anything. Her eyes drifted to the sleeping form of Keitaro. His chest slowly rose and fell as he methodically breathed in and out. Not that bad a catch. She looked around, to make her feel safe that no one was there. She really wanted to kiss him again, but more seriously. Hee hee! Perfect time while he's sleeping! She lowered her head slowly…slowly…and finally met Keitaro's. Mmmmmm, she thought. Can't say I don't envy Naru. Suddenly she felt Keitaro move. Oh darn it! She immediately thought, but to her surprise Keitaro wasn't awake. Suddenly the door opened.
"Kitsune I wanted…" Motoko started, but her jaw dropped at the sight before her. She saw Kitsune passionately (or so it seemed) kissing Urashima. "Kitsune! What is the meaning of this?!" Motoko shouted.
"EH?!" Kitsune cried, quickly moving away. "Oh…heh heh." Kitsune scratched her head.
"What are you doing?!" Motoko cried again. "Did Urashima do anything?" Motoko quickly spun around to the form of Keitaro, but saw he was sleeping. He's much cuter like this…no! NO! What am I THINKING?! I must be nuts!
"Kitsune?" she asked again.
"Well, he was sleeping, and I kind of couldn't help myself. He's just so innocent and cute sleeping there!" Kitsune replied. Well that's half-true, she told herself. "Plus he took sleeping pills, so I knew he wouldn't wake up for a while…" she trailed off.
"Kitsune! How could you take advantage of Urashima like that?!" Motoko exclaimed.
"Wait, suddenly defending Keitaro? What happened to he's a giant pervert and everything's his fault?" Kitsune asked, getting into the playful mood.
"Well, he's sleeping, so obviously he couldn't have done anything!" Motoko said.
"Or maybe…you want to kiss him too!" Kitsune shouted. Motoko blushed a deep red.
"NO! Never! Nothing like that at all! I-It's just dishonorable to take a kiss like that!" Motoko denied adamantly, waving her arms.
"But you want to! I can tell!" Kitsune taunted.
"Never! I would never want to–" Motoko began, but Kitsune had grabbed Motoko and forced her in to a lip-lock with the sleeping form of Keitaro.
"EH?!" Motoko said through the kiss. Mmmm, actually feels pretty good…NO! What the heck am I thinking?! Motoko ripped herself out of Kitsune's grasp.
"Hahahahahahaha!" Kitsune laughed, holding her stomach. "You should've seen your face!" Kitsune put her hand on the wall and bent over from the exertion. Motoko blushed a deeper red.
"I am leaving!" Motoko stated, and then left the room in a flush. Oh man oh man! More and more blackmail. I have to get everyone to kiss Keitaro for it to be the perfect video! Kitsune thought. Suddenly Mutsumi-chan walked into the room.
"Kitsune-chan! Haruka-san wishes to talk to you!" Mutsumi told Kitsune. "Ara! Keitaro-kun is sleeping! I should have spoken softer! Oh me oh my, he looks very cute sleeping like that! ♥" Mutsumi exclaimed. I at least need to get her to kiss him. The last time was not very passionate! Hee hee! Kitsune thought evilly.
"He is sick, that's why he is sleeping," Kitsune explained falsely.
"Ara! Why did he not take the medicine I brought him?" Mutsumi asked.
"That's okay. What he needs is sleep…and kisses!" Kitsune said, trying to force back a smile.
"Kisses, Kitsune-chan?" Mutsumi asked.
"Kisses! To heal properly, he needs kisses! Even Motoko gave him one!" Kitsune said.
"Motoko-chan must be very concerned about Keitaro-kun! I will help!" Mutsumi said. She put Keitaro's head on her lap, then bent down and kissed him. Yes! Yes! Go for it!
"Mutsumi, I need you to – um, what are you doing?" Haruka asked, entering. "And what the heck is Keitaro doing in my room?!" Mutsumi, however, was still kissing Keitaro. "Kitsune?" Haruka asked.
"Wait a moment." Finally, Mutsumi released Keitaro.
"There! He will definitely get better now, Kitsune-chan!" Mutsumi said, smiling.
"Mutsumi? What are you doing?" Haruka asked.
"Oh! Haruka-san! Well, Kitsune-chan said Keitaro-kun needs kisses to get better, so I was simply helping!" Mutsumi said. Haruka looked at Kitsune who was nodding.
"And where did you hear this from, Kitsune?" Haruka asked.
"Oh, um, you know, from Keitaro himself!"
"Haruka-san, surely you want to help your nephew get better? Why don't you kiss him too? It'll be a secret between us three, I promise!" Mutsumi said. Haruka was taken aback. Yes! This will be the ultimate blackmail! Now I can get sake whenever I want! Kitsune thought, pumping her arm.
"Um, no thanks, Mutsumi. I need to get back to work," Haruka said.
"But," Kitsune called out, "He needs someone from his family to kiss him, otherwise he'll die!"
"Ara, Haruka-san! You don't want him to die, do you? Just a quick kiss will do it!" Mutsumi said.
"I don't really want to," Haruka said.
"Oh my, Haruka-san! I know you want Keitaro to be better!" Mutsumi said. Haruka saw it was futile to argue with Mutsumi.
"Fine, fine!" she answered, giving up. She bent down and quickly kissed her nephew on the cheek. "Can I go now?" I need to make this juicier!
"No, Haruka-san! You need to kiss him on the lips! Otherwise, it's worthless!" Kitsune said. Haruka gave Kitsune the evil eye, but Kitsune would not be deterred.
"Just for a second. Here, I'll even time it so it's exactly one second! That's all he needs!" Kitsune said, taking out a watch.
"That's right, Haruka-san. Just a second. It's not like it'll take that long!" Mutsumi said, clapping her hands together.
"Fine! I just want to get this over with!" Haruka said. How did it get to this? Haruka asked herself. Here I am kissing my own nephew on the lips! If anyone ever speaks of this… She kneeled down and put her head over Keitaro's. Hmm, not that bad looking. Naru sure has a great guy. She closed her eyes and put her head lower and lower until she was (yuck!) kissing her nephew. Suddenly Keitaro grabbed Haruka's head and started to kiss her passionately. Arrrgh! YUCK! YUCK! Haruka said. She tried to pull away, but Keitaro's grip was surprisingly strong. She heard a collective gasp, and Kitsune said,
"Oh. Hi Naru." Oh please be joking! Haruka said, trying to pull away from her nephew.
"MMPH?!" Keitaro suddenly cried, waking up (finally!). He immediately let go and spun around, to see Haruka wiping her mouth off (not to mention blushing a deep shade of red), Kitsune on the ground laughing, and Naru clenching her fist. "Um…um…what happened? Why was I kissing…um...her?" Keitaro said, managing to only point at Haruka.
"You…you…" Naru said, cracking her knuckles.
"Ah! Naru-chan! Haruka-san was just helping Keitaro-kun get better! He needs kisses to be better!" Mutsumi said.
"He needs kisses like a spoiled kid needs toys," Naru mumbled to herself. "Keitaro! PREPARE TO DIE!" Mutsumi, however, had different ideas.
"Naru-chan! You need to kiss him too!" Mutsumi said, and then pushed Naru into Keitaro. Yes! Kitsune thought.
"Mmmph?!" Naru said, landing lip to lip with Keitaro.
"Mmmph?!" Keitaro said from surprise. Ahhh, feels soo good! Even if it's unethical to get a kiss this way, she feels so…soft! Keitaro thought. Naru broke away suddenly, and stiffened.
"YOU WILL DIE!" Naru shouted.
"PLEASE! Don't kill me!" Keitaro begged, groveling.
"I WILL SHOW NO MERCY!" Naru shouted. "YOU EVEN KISSED YOUR OWN AUNT!"
"I don't know anything about that! Honest!" Keitaro said, still groveling.
"LIES!" Naru cried, and then finally smashed her fist into his face.
"AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Keitaro cried. I didn't even get a job today! Wait, she heard my thoughts! Kitsune didn't even take it off! Arrrrgh! Keitaro thought madly as he flew through the air.
A/N: OH MY GOODNESS!! That was so darn long. I had meant for one day to be one chapter, but it'll take to long. Well, at least this day was too long. Maybe it'll get shorter in the end. Please, please R&R!