Whatcha' thinking now, Keitaro?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Love Hina or Love Hina-ish or any related characters.
A/N: I'm so glad I got reviews! (Woo hoo hoo! In the double digits!) Someone requested a Motoko pairing, and while personally I like those I was leaning towards a Mutsumi pairing, (Yes, it doesn't look like that now) because there aren't enough of those. But I'll please the audience with what they want, so next chapter there will be pairings, and in this chapter just tension, chaos and more random goodness that hopes to be funny! Please R&R!
"..." Denotes speech (or shouting :)
Italics denotes thinking
Chapter 5: Lucrative Rewards
Later at Night...
"Dinner is served!" Shinobu cried happily. There were all sorts of good food out on the table and everyone hungrily sat down.
"Yummy!" Su cried out, and she dove into the food. Everyone else ate normally. Haruka entered just then.
"So, did everyone earn money today?" Haruka asked.
"Yes, we all did!" Naru answered.
"I earned 25,000 yen!" Shinobu reported. Everyone clapped.
"Well I got 40,000 yen," Motoko said. Everyone clapped again.
"I only earned 35,000 yen," Naru told them.
"That's okay, Narusegawa-sempai!" Shinobu said, clapping which prompted everyone else to clap.
"I earned 50,000 yen," Kanako said. Everyone applauded.
"Ara! I only earned 75,000 yen!" Mutsumi said. Everyone clapped harder.
"How did you earn so much? I only earned 20,000 yen!" Kitsune said.
"I went to look for a second job," Mutsumi said, smiling.
"And I earned 100,000 yen!" Su cried. Everyone stared, mouth hanging.
"How did you earn that much?!" Keitaro asked.
"Easy! I helped with the computers aboard the ultra-top-secret space shuttle that Japan is building! They pay a lot for something so fun!" Su said.
"Urashima! Did you earn anything?" Motoko asked.
"Uh, uh...no," Keitaro answered gloomily. He was going to try and lie his way through it, but he knew what would happen if he did.
"No?!" Motoko asked, anger rising dangerously.
"It wasn't my fault; it was all Kitsune's fault!" Keitaro said. "I asked her to remove my device so I could get a job, but she didn't. I even did her a favor!"
"Remove the device, Urashima? That is not allowed! How stupid you are to believe Kitsune would actually do that," Motoko said.
"Actually I was going to remove it!" Kitsune said, offended.
"What?! That is not allowed!" Motoko demanded.
"Well, how else can he work if he's projecting thoughts all the time? I wouldn't even hire him," Haruka said.
"Haruka-san, for the better good we cannot allow him to take it off," Motoko said.
"Come one, Motoko!" Keitaro said, whining.
"No."
"What if onii-san pays his part by actually doing the fixing? I'm sure 125,000 yen could be taken off the price if we just buy the materials," Kanko said.
"What a good idea, Kanako! Okay, Keitaro, tomorrow you must go out and buy the materials and start the repairs," Naru said. "I'm sure you can deal with that much, without causing a scene, right?"
"Only if Kitsune doesn't get in the way," Keitaro said.
"Ouch, that was a low blow! I only was collecting blackmail, geez, like that is anything new!" Kitsune said.
"What?! YOU TAPED IT?!" Keitaro yelled.
"Of course!" Kitsune said. "Who wouldn't?"
"EVERYTHING?!" Keitaro yelled again.
"Au! Sempai, you don't need to yell!" Shinobu cried.
"AND EVERYONE ah doing, um, you know."
"Yes, and everyone kissing!" Kitsune said.
"Ki-kissing?" Shinobu asked.
"Yup! It was "kiss the kanrinin" day! Keitaro was one lucky dog!" Kitsune said, smiling.
"It wasn't like that AT ALL!" Keitaro bellowed.
"Au! Au!" Shinobu cried.
"Urashima, again you cause her to cry. Prepare to feel the wrath of AOYAMA MOTOKO!" Motoko screamed.
"But...but" Keitaro stuttered.
"Hey, before you go kill Keitaro, remember you're on the tape too!" Kitsune said.
"Eh?!" Motoko said.
"Au! Even Motoko-sempai kissed Sempai! Au! Au!" Shinobu cried again.
"I-It wasn't like that at all!" Motoko denied.
"I want to see this video!" Su shouted.
"Heh heh, that will cost you money!" Kitsune said.
"Kitsune, am I on that video?" Haruka asked, hoping that the answer was no.
"Au! Haruka-san kissed Sempai?!" Shinobu asked in disbelief.
"N-no! Of course not!" Haruka answered, the usually stolid woman stuttering. "I didn't do anything of the sort!"
"Maybe," Kitsune said, nonchalantly. If I say yes, then I won't be able to show it, so I must lie.
"Maybe?! Tell me!" Haruka demanded.
"You'll have to see it if you want to know!" Kitsune said. Suddenly Su brought out a lot of money.
"Here! Let me see this video!" Su said.
"Okay, here it is!" Kitsune said, then pressed play on the VCR and turned on the TV.
"Help save us all," Keitaro mumbled. And Su and everyone else watched it. It started at the part with Kitsune coming in and shaking the sleeping pills. It continued to the forced kissing of Keitaro by Kitsune.
"Keitaro, you're one naughty boy! And you say you love Narusegawa! Not to mention you don't know how to kiss at all!" Kitsune said from the TV.
"Oooo, Keitaro's dead now!" Su chanted. "Keitaro's dead, Keitaro's dead!" Keitaro, meanwhile, just turned redder and redder. They saw Mutsumi's kissing action.
"Oh me, oh my! I didn't mean to do that, Kitsune-chan! I was just really happy!" Everybody ooohed and ahhhhed when Kitsune kissed the sleeping Keitaro.
"Kitsune! How could you!" Naru cried, feeling hurt that her best friend was kissing Keitaro. Then Motoko came into the room on the screen.
"Kitsune! How could you take advantage of Urashima like that?!" Motoko shouted from the TV.
"Ah! Kitsune, please fast forward!" Motoko begged.
"What?! I want my money's worth!" Su demanded.
"Sorry, the paying customer gets what she wants!" Kitsune said.
"Noo!" Motoko shouted.
"Why are you so worked up?" Naru asked.
"EH?!" came the noise from the TV. Motoko was kissing Keitaro.
"Ahhh" Motoko moaned, and she blushed the deepest shade of red ever seen by Naru.
"Motoko, you like him too?" Su asked with glee.
"Never!" Motoko denied. "I am leaving!" Motoko and the Motoko on the screen both said at once.
"But you haven't seen the best part yet!" Kitsune said.
"What 'best' part is it?" Motoko said.
"I will help!" came Mutsumi's voice from the TV.
"Oooooooooo!" Su said, seeing Mutusmi's kiss.
"Urashima..." Motoko threatened.
"It wasn't my fault!" Keitaro whined.
"Oh me, oh my! I guess I enjoyed that too much!" Mutsumi said, smiling.
"Kitsune, the tape stops now!" Haruka said, having a premonition that the tape was not going to suddenly skip over Haruka's part.
"Sorry, but the paying customer gets what she wants. The freebie moochers have to watch!"
"Auuuuuuuuuuu!" Shinobu cried, upon seeing the part the Haruka dreaded the most, the part where Keitaro had grabbed his own aunt and kissed her passionately. "Haruka-san! You didn't! Au! Au!" she cried again, running away. Haruka could do nothing but stand there blushing.
"What were you thinking, Urashima?!" Motoko demanded.
"Well, I was, uh, dreaming about kissing someone," Keitaro answered, sweating profusely.
"Who? Tell me now!" Motoko said.
"Well, it was, um, Mutsumi-chan..." Keitaro said, trailing off.
"Oh me, oh my," Mutsumi said.
"Oooooo! I knew it!" Su exclaimed, upon seeing Naru kiss Keitaro. "You like Keitaro! You like Keitaro!" Su chanted, pointing her finger at Naru.
"N-never! Who could like an idiot like him?!" Naru said.
"That's not very nice!" Keitaro whined.
"Hahaha! You all have a crush on Keitaro!" Su said, laughing with glee.
"What?!" all who had been on the tape responded.
"Motoko, Naru, Mutsumi, and Kitsune all like Keitaro! It's true! The video doesn't lie!"
"Of course I like Keitaro-kun!" Mutsumi said, blushing red.
"I have to prepare for bed!" all the others responded. Motoko, Naru, Mutsumi, Kitsune, and Haruka all left.
"Um...err," Keitaro stuttered, as Su turned upon him. She launched herself at him and kicked him in the face.
"I bet you liked it too, pervert! ♥" she shouted while kicking him. He fell to the ground with Su on top of him.
"Su, you should stop playing around," Kanko said. "I don't want you to hurt onii-san."
"But Keitaro's invincible! Right?" Su said. Keitaro just moaned in response. "Hey Keitaro, I want to kiss you too! How come they all get to kiss you and I don't?" Su complained.
"Um...I didn't want them to – mmph!" He cried, as Su planted her lips upon Keitaro's. What the heck! Am I just a kissing machine?! Keitaro thought furiously.
"Mmmmmm," Su said, staying on for a long time.
"Su, you are going to suffocate onii-san," Kanako said. Su released him from her lip grip.
"Keitaro! You're very tasty!" Su said. "Like a banana-lemon!"
"What the heck is a banana-lemon?!" Keitaro demanded.
"What you taste like! Hee hee!" Su giggled.
"Can you get off me? Please?" Keitaro begged. Having you sit on my belly while kissing me is not the best situation I could be in...oh, why me?!
"Haha! I know you liked it even though you deny it in your head!" Su said, oblivious to what Keitaro wanted.
"Onii-san, I am retiring for the night. Have fun," Kanako said, and left.
"Nooo! Come back Kanako! Please!" Keitaro called out after her, but she left.
"Hahahahahaha! You're all mine tonight!" Su laughed evilly, startlingly similar to Kitsune.
"Nooo!" Keitaro cried out. Su put her face right next to Keitaro's.
"So...who do you like?" Su asked.
"Uh, what are you talking about?" Keitaro tried to answer innocently.
"Stop being so shy! I know you like Naru, but who else?" Su asked.
"W-what?! I, um...um" Keitaro stuttered. He put his head down and mumbled something.
"What was that? I didn't hear what you said!" Su declared.
"Mutsumi-chan," Keitaro said a little louder, but still not very clear at all.
"I knew it! Ha! And who else?" Su asked.
"Why continue with these insane questions?" Keitaro said.
"Because I need to test out my latest invention, and I need to know these answers. How about you rate who you like on a list?" Su said.
"Don't be silly! I would never do anything like that! Now get off me!" Keitaro demanded.
"You're so booring!" Su whined. "Hmmph! I refuse to get up until you list who you like!"
"I like everyone in Hinata-sou!" Keitaro said. "Now get off! This is very uncomfortable."
"Not like that! Give me a ranking!"
"Do I have to?" Keitaro asked.
"Yes! Of course!"
"Um...how bout I write it down. I don't want to say it out loud."
"Hmm. Okay! That'll work just as well! But, don't think about leaving or I'll use my freeze-time ray!" Su said, jumping off Keitaro and giving him a piece of paper.
"Erm...hmm," Keitaro mused, while nervously scribbling on the paper. "I'm done!" he announced, and got up to leave.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going? I have to test out my new invention!" Su ordered.
"Nooo!" Keitaro cried, and started running.
"Aha! Time to use my time-freeze ray bazooka! FIRE!" Su shouted, taking a very dangerous looking weapon that resembled a missile launcher and pulling the trigger. ZAAAAAPPO! The ice blue ray shot out faster then Keitaro had time to duck. Surprisingly, it did not hit Keitaro any distance, but his body simply froze in the position he was in.
"Yes! Second successful testing run!" Su roared, pumping her arm in the air. She took both the list the Keitaro had written and the frozen form of Keitaro to her room.
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"Let's see what he wrote down," Su said, feeding the list into her computer. It spit out what he had written.
Hinata-sou Love Ranking
1.) Narusegawa
1.) Mutsumi-chan
1.) Shinobu
1.) Su
1.) Kitsune
1.) Kanako
"That lying scum ball!" Su shouted. "How dare he rank everyone as first?! It's not right!" She tapped Keitaro with a remote and he instantly could move again. Of course since the last thing he had been doing was running away, he kept on doing that. BAM! He ran straight into a tree (how did a tree get in Su's room?), and then fell into the pool. SPLASH!
"Ahh! I can't swim! Heeeelp!" Keitaro said, flailing around.
"Keitaro! I'll only help you if you answer why you ranked everyone as first! That's not a ranking list!"
"HEEEELP!" Keitaro shouted. "I'M DROWNING IN SU'S ROOM!"
"Keitaro, who do you like the best? I'll have to keep you there until you answer."
"Narusegawa! Help me!" Keitaro shouted as he saw Naru pass outside of Su's room. But she just kept walking.
"Okay, that was easy, wasn't it?" Su said, typing in Narusegawa Naru number one on his Ranking.
"Shinobu!" Keitaro yelled at the top of his lungs, knowing that she would at least stop by if she heard. "Heeelp!"
"Oh, so you like Shinobu second? I should tell her," Su said, punching in Maehara Shinobu. Sadly, it seemed that she couldn't hear Keitaro's yell.
"Motoko! Kitsune! Kanako! Mutsumi-chan! Anyone! Help me from Su! PLEASE!" Keitaro continue to sputter, starting to go underwater.
"Ha! You finally finished the list!" Su cried happily. She punched in Aoyama Motoko, Konno Mitsune, Urashima Kanako, Otohime Mutsumi, and lastly Su Kaolla.
"Did someone call me? Ara, Keitaro-kun!" Mutsumi said nervously, upon seeing Keitaro half-drowning. She quickly grabbed Keitaro's hand, but being Mutsumi fell in too as she tried to pull him out. "Ara!" she cried, falling in.
"Su? Did you call me? Eh?!" Motoko shouted, as she "saw" Urashima taking advantage once again. "URASHIMA! Prepare for punishment!" Motoko announced.
"Blub blub blub!" was all Keitaro could reply.
"ROCK SPLITTING TECHNIQUE!" Motoko roared, sending ki waves through Su's room and into Keitaro, hitting him and blasting him out of the water along with Mutsumi.
"Aieeeeeeee!" Keitaro cried, bouncing around Su's room like a pinball. Several trees were broken and Keitaro finally landed right in front of Su. Meanwhile, Mutsumi was hanging from a tree right above them. Keitaro looked up and saw...too much, immediately causing his nose to start bleeding. Immediately Su's foot came down upon his face.
"WHATCHA' THINKING NOW, KEITARO?!" she shouted, as Keitaro writhed in pain. Ow! Ow! Why me?! Why me?! came the answer as Keitaro was in so much pain he could only think how much pain he was in.
"URASHIMA! Taking advantage again?! DIE!" Motoko screamed as she became aware of what Keitaro had seen. Another round of pinball began as he bounced from tree to tree, eventually knocking into Mutsumi and causing them both to fall down.
"Ha!" Su said, going over to them both. "Rats. They're both unconscious. That's no fun!" Su said.
"Su, you must stay away from Urashima!" Motoko warned, putting her sword away. "Danger and evil follow him wherever he lurks."
"Ara," Mutsumi groaned, getting up.
"Yay! Mutsumi's alive again!" Su shouted, grabbing Mutsumi by the hands and dancing around like a hyperactive gerbil that had eaten several pixie sticks (candy sugar).
"Here Mutsumi, we can try this new invention on you!" Su said. Motoko just shook here head and dragged Urashima out of Su's room.
"What do you like?" Su asked.
"Well, I like watermelons, and heating blankets, and Tama-chan, and well, I like everything!" Mutsumi answered.
"Hmmm...yes...any people you like?" Su asked.
"Well...I like Keitaro-kun! ♥" Mutsumi giggled.
"Uh huh...done!" Su shouted. She pressed RETURN on her keyboard. Instantly, her computer started buzzing and beeping and making noise in general doing something or at least pretending to do something. Maybe it wasn't doing anything at all, but was for show; anyhow, soon it spit out a piece of paper.
"Aha! Success! Su's mate finder's test run!" Su cried happily.
"Ara, Su-chan, what does it do?" Mutsumi asked.
"Well, it takes everything you like and makes it to tell you who you should marry. It has a data base of everyone in Japan and more!" Su shouted. "Aww! It didn't work! It said you should marry Keitaro!" Mutsumi blushed. "Whenever I put any of the girls in at the Hinata-sou, it comes out with the same answer! That's why I wanted to try Keitaro!"
"Ara, Su-chan, what if it's correct? Maybe everyone at the Hinata-sou should marry Keitaro, but of course they all can't! I'm going to get a head start!" Mutsumi suddenly declared. She walked out of Su's room determination flashing in her face. Suddenly she fainted.
"Ahhhh," she cried.
"Mutsumi-chan?!" Naru screamed, suddenly rushing to catch her as she had heard her cry out.
"Ara, Naru-chan. Thank you!" Mutsumi said, kissing Naru.
"EH?!" she said, and almost dropped Mutsumi.
"Oh me, oh my! I'm so sorry!" Mutsumi said.
"You know, you should stop kissing people, otherwise you'll be taken as some weirdo," Naru said. "Here, I'll walk you to your room."
"You know, Naru-chan, have you seen Su's new invention?" Mutsumi asked.
"Eh?!" Naru said. "Oh yeah, but it was obviously wrong, I mean, how could I marry someone like Keitaro!" she said, laughing nervously.
"But don't you like–" Mutsumi began.
"SHHH! I don't want anyone hearing that!" Naru said, covering Mutsumi's mouth.
"Haha! You're so funny, Naru-chan! But I believe in the results! And I'm going to make Keitaro my husband!" Mutsumi declared. An awkward silence fell after Mutsumi's bold proclamation of love.
"Mutsumi-chan?" Naru asked, breaking the silence. "Are you really going to?"
"Of course! If I don't have a goal, then I won't know what to do!" Naru was about to respond when the door to Keitaro's room burst open and Motoko stomped out.
"Wait! Motoko! I didn't mean anything!" Naru and Mutsumi heard Keitaro cry, and Keitaro ran out of his room after Motoko.
"Urashima, don't follow me!" Motoko demanded.
"Wait! Please!" Keitaro said.
"Go away!" Motoko shouted more forcefully. "I am going to commit seppuku and there's nothing you can do about it!" Naru and Mutsumi followed out of interest.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" Keitaro shouted, quite forcefully, causing Naru and Mutsumi to stop following and for Motoko to stop running away. Motoko turned around, and to Keitaro's surprise she was crying. But tears and all, she rushed at Keitaro.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" she shouted through her tears and slashed her sword at him. The usual ki wave, however, failed to come out as Motoko could obviously not concentrate enough to produce them. Motoko just ended up crashing into Keitaro and she fell on top of them. Great, now I just need Narusegawa to appear and my perverseness will be unquestioned, Keitaro thought, and unknown to him Naru who was going to appear, backed away.
"Waaaaah! I am going to kill myself now! I have lost twice in a row!" Motoko shouted.
"No!" Keitaro cried, grabbing the sword and flinging it away. "Don't ever say you're going to kill yourself! Never!"
"Waaaaah!" Motoko cried, hugging Keitaro. Eh?! Keitaro thought. Naru watched it all and was thinking pretty evilly of Keitaro right now. I bet that he's having the time of his life. I'll kill him if he tries to take advantage of Motoko! Keitaro felt trapped and something was pressing against his chest. Oh no, not now! He thought, and held one of his hands to his nose as it started to bleed. Aha! Naru thought. I knew it!
"Um...Motoko?" Keitaro said. Motoko just hugged him tighter. "Care to let me breathe?"
"Waaaaah!" Motoko replied. Alright I can't stand this anymore! Naru decided in her head, when all of a sudden Mutsumi that had been watching it too burst into the scene.
"Mu-Mu-Mutsumi-chan!" Keitaro cried, upon seeing Mutsumi.
"Ara, Keitaro-kun, I will help you!" she said. "Don't be so sad Motoko-chan!" she said, also hugging Keitaro.
"Eh?!" Keitaro said.
"A group hug always is better than alone!" Mutsumi said. Naru just turned away and went back to her room. Keitaro, Mutsumi, and Motoko just stayed that way for a long time into the night, and all soon fell asleep.
A/N: Wow, that chapter was not on par with the others. At least in my opinion. Maybe too much of the previous chapter with that watching the blackmail stuff. I'll try to avoid that in the future. Maybe it's the stab at romance at the end (which I'm not very good at. But hopefully it'll get better.) Note that future updates will be hindered by school, so I'll try to crank out as soon as possible as much as possible. Please R&R and also include what pairing you'd like to see.