Chapter Fourteen
He had been alone all his existence. He knew he had had another life that had involved other people, other beings and responsibilities, but that was fading with every moment he spent with Her.
How could he have been afraid of Her? She was everything. She fulfilled him, sustained him, gave him purpose. He was never alone now. He would never be disappointed, never be cold or hungry, never be sad or fearful. There was no longer any 'light' or 'dark', 'evil' or 'good'. All that filled him was peace and his purpose. He had a clarity that he had never felt in his previous life, a knowledge of what it was that he needed to do. He knew that he could do it, knew that he was the only one who could do it, and he was ready to do what was needed.
Though...there was another voice in the calmness of the Mother Planet. A faint voice that cried out to him, pleaded with him to remember who and what he had been, to resist Her still.
Resist Her? Why?
The voice called to him, the words echoing and coming from the distance of years. It warned him of Her, cautioned him that to embrace Her fully would to invite death without end. Reminded him of his vow to the Jedi, his life as a Padawan, and his successes and failures.
Obi-Wan was saddened. He did not truly want to leave the Temple, did not want to leave his Master or his friends.
The voice latched onto his memories, showing him what he was forgetting from his past. Flashes came to him of what he knew and what he had learned growing up. Showed him his humanity. Showed him his friends.
Fight Her.
It was the first time that Obi-Wan had actually heard clear words from the voice. It was a young man, though older than Obi-Wan himself. Where he was, in a place with no light and no dark, a corporeal plain, he saw a Jedi Knight walking toward him on air.
Resist Her.
Who are you? Obi-Wan wondered.
I was Jedi Knight Yant Justain. I am no longer. I am the older Father that could no longer keep the balance. I tried to warn the Jedi when She began questing for another, but it is exhausting to fight Her, the Jedi told him, drawing near to him. You have those who know where you are. Hold on, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Your future should not be fixed as mine was.
Obi-Wan felt like there were two of him in one place. One part of him longed to stay with Her, but the other part recognized the truth to the Jedi's words.
I can't find my way back, he told Justain. She has blocked me from returning. It is too late for me.
Justain shook his head and lay a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. There are those who are searching for you. Perhaps they can help you find your way back.
Obi-Wan, stay with me...
Obi-Wan twisted around at the words. It had sounded like someone he had used to know. I know that voice, he told Justain in excitement.
Think, Obi-Wan. Remember! Justain urged him.
It was so hard to think, especially through the blocks that She had placed on his mind. It felt as if he were struggling through quicksand that had a hold of him and did not want to let go. But finally he remembered the name to the voice. Finally he had a face to go with the sound of pleading and concern.
Qui-Gon...
She shrieked. Both Justain and Obi-Wan cried out and dropped to their knees in the place with no walls and no floor. The air sustained them and created their prison. She created their prison.
There is no other but me! She told Obi-Wan, enraged. Thou hast no one but me! 'Tis your destiny to balance! Embrace it!
Justain faded, leaving Obi-Wan alone—but not alone. His strength renewed, he smiled at Her. I am a Jedi. I will meet my destiny on my own terms.
Thou hast no choice! None! Thy body hast almost been destroyed. Without it, thou canst not return.
Obi-Wan felt despair at Her words. Inside of this prison of Her own making he could feel the truth of what She said to him. She was not lying. In fact, She was gleeful. Things were almost complete for the equilibrium to be reached, whether he wanted to be the one to do it or not.
Losing all hope, Obi-Wan wailed.