By Majestic Waters
Chapter 3: Leaping Lizards
Lily lay lounging in her bed in the hospital wing, entirely too bored. It had been a while since Madame Pomfrey had looked in on her, and she was starting to get a bit annoyed; she could be doing something better with her time... like seducing James. It was quite strange, indeed, thought Lily, that just yesterday, all she could think about had been studying, and today, all she could think about was seducing, and castrating James. She barely had any recollection of Tom and the Chamber of Secrets; they were mere, pleasant memories. However, she did feel like she was constantly being watched, and also felt that there was a greater power behind what she was doing, other than her own sluttish tendencies. And, boy, did she love that power! She had felt it coursing through her when she was protecting James from Marshall, and couldn't wait to get a taste of it, again. If only Dumbledore would let her leave....
Suddenly, in the bed to the right of her, she heard a loud thumping sound. THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. Lily swung her legs over the side of the bed, cautiously making her way towards the thumping noise, and slowly peeled back the bed hangings. THUMP! Lily let out a squeal as something large jumped out at her from behind the curtains, bowling her over onto the floor. THUMP! Pushing her hair out of her face, bewilderedly, Lily looked up from the floor, and straight into the eyes of Professor Kettlebroom, the Potions Professor. He grinned at her for a moment, before starting to hop sporadically around the room, on all fours, springing from bed to bed, scaring the wits out of the few invalids in the wing. She had forgotten that her Professor had come down with the Leaping Lizards. Bemusedly Lily stood up, a bit perturbed to see the once cold, and menacing Professor be so... "HA, HA! Who's your daddy!" yelled Kettlebroom, jumping enthusiastically on a boy's bed.
"Professor! What are you doing?!" screamed the boy, and it was then that Lily realized that the poor boy in question was Severus Snape, a fellow Seventh year, with greasy hair, and a large, beaky nose; at the moment, however, his panicked expression was more prominent than his nose, and Lily had to laugh at the sight of Snape holding onto the bed for dear life, while the insane Professor continued to spring up and down. "Stop laughing, and DO something!" Snape bellowed at her, and upon his request, Lily strolled over to his bed, and in a split second, she had removed her Gryffindor tie, and had it tied around Kettlebroom like reigns. In the next second she had jumped on the Professor's back, and pulling the reigns, she managed to get him under control. Amazed, Severus looked up at Lily in wonder; under the fluorescent lights of the hospital wing, and yet sitting majestically astride their Professor like a Queen on her prized stallion, Snape couldn't decide if she was an angel sent from heaven, or a demon come to take him to hell. Whatever Lily Evans was, he was completely enthralled. He was about to thank her for taming the Professor, when Madame Pomfrey bustled into the Medical wing, completely enraged.
"What the DEVIL is going on, in here?" she thundered, hands on her hips, and eyes ablaze with fury. Soon, however, her fury was replaced with horror, as she took in the situation; the Head Girl sitting astride one of the most esteemed teachers of the century, both on top of Severus Snape's bed, not to mention Snape himself. The nurse covered her eyes for a split second, before becoming angrier than before. "You get off of him, you- you-!" She grabbed wildly at Lily, but it wasn't Lily that moved away from her, but the Professor, who wasn't quite as tamed as Severus had thought he was. Hopping around the ward, away from Madame Pomfrey, and with Lily on his back, he tried to make his escape, first out the window, and when he didn't succeed, made a break for the open door.
"Ha, HA!" cried the sick Professor, as he pushed on down the hallway, sending students flying in the direction from whence they came. Lily held onto the reigns as best as she could, gripping the Potions Master's torso with her legs. They made it to the Entrance Hall, in this manner, unscathed, and Kettlebroom was about to escape to the Grounds when a voice stopped him.
"Enrique Kettlebroom! Stop this, this instant!" Albus Dumbledore had come to the rescue yet again, this time with Headmaster Dippet in tow.
"Professor, I'm surprised at you!" scolded the Headmaster, as though talking to a naughty, naughty child. "You should be in the hospital wing, getting your rest! We've lost many good Professors in some very strange ways, but losing a teacher because he came down with the Leaping Lizards, and decided to leap his way into the Forbidden Forest? That's the most preposterous thing I've ever heard. Poppy?" Dippet said, addressing the scandalized looking matron to his left. "Give him the shot."
"Gladly," stated Pomfrey, pressing a wooden tube to her mouth. Swiftly, she blew through the tube, and out shot a dart filled with a strange dark red liquid. The dark landed in the wild Professor's upper arm, and within seconds he was sound asleep. Dumbledore ushered Lily off of him, and magicking the slumbering Professor onto a stretcher, he directed him to the hospital wing.
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Madame Pomfrey entered Dumbledore's office, with a worried expression on her face. Dumbledore beheld her countenance, and rushed to her. "What is it, Poppy? The Professor, he's not...?" Poppy shook her head, slowly, and Albus breathed a sigh of relief. "But, then... What could be the matter?"
Poppy looked up into Albus' eyes, worrying her lower lip. "It's the Evans girl, Albus..." Immediately, Dumbledore's features hardened. "Her tests came back... positive. Someone has recently been playing with her mind... her thoughts, her feelings. She's not safe, and neither are the rest of us, for that matter. We should send her home, Albus!" Dumbledore shook his head slowly, and Pomfrey harrumphed, exasperatedly. "Well, why not?"
"She belongs here, Poppy. I think she's still with us, but if we don't act quickly we might lose her, completely. We must locate the diary and destroy it." Pomfrey nodded sadly, sighing.
"I see what you mean, Albus."
"Would you do me a favor? Tell Professor Flitwick that I wish to speak with him about an assignment. Please, be quick about it!"
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"That was really something, Lily" declared Severus Snape, sitting next to her on her bed in the hospital wing.
"Thanks," she replied, absently picking dirt from beneath her nails.
"You know," Snape continued, "we should get together sometime... other than in Herbology..." Lily, startled, looked up at him with wide eyes. She soon recovered, however, looking back down at her nails, disgustedly.
"Sorry, but no. I have too many things to concentrate on, at the moment."
"Like...?"
"Like things. You know... things to seduce, things to castrate..." This time it was Snape who was startled. He gulped, audibly, shivering pleasantly. He loved talking dirty.
"Who-", he swallowed again, "are you planning to castrate?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but," she sized him up, biting her lip, and then smiled, decidedly. She moved closer to his ear, and whispered, seductively, "Why, James Potter, of course." Laughing delightedly, Snape jerked away from her.
"Wonderful!" said he. "When shall we get started?" Lily stared at him, incredulously, eyebrows raised.
"We...?"
Suddenly a Dark presence clouded her mind, and sweet words branded her thoughts as Tom spoke to her for the second time in one day. "Yesss..." hissed the voice, harshly. "Take the boy's help. An ally will only ensure Potter's undoing..." As suddenly as it had come, the presence was gone.
"I'd be much obliged, dearest Severus..."
A/N: Review, and Vote for the President on November 2nd! Have a majestic day!
Majestically yours,
Majestic Waters