AN: Sorry this is so slow but I'm kind of on vacation and it's hard to get an internet hookup. I'll be faster next week, when I get back home.
CHAPTER 3: No Chance
Harm was idly flipping through a magazine in front of him. If someone had asked him what kind of magazine it was, he wouldn't have been able to answer them. He was trying, unsuccessfully, to keep his mind distracted.
"Commander Rabb," a deep male voice boomed out, startling him enough to drop the magazine.
Recognizing the voice and out of habit, Harm rose from the couch and stood at attention.
"Relax, Harm. I'm retired, it's AJ now," AJ told him.
"Sorry, sir, I mean, AJ."
"How is she?"
"I don't know, nobody's told me anything yet. Sir, what are you doing here?" Harm knew that it wasn't just coincidence that his former commanding officer had joined him.
AJ ignored the 'sir'. "Reverend Turner called me about a half hour ago. Seems he found someone who needed some company for a few hours and he suggested that I might be able to help," AJ explained, taking a seat in a nearby uncomfortable plastic chair.
"And we thought we'd come along," someone added.
Harm looked up to see Jen, Sturgis, Harriet, and Bud.
"You all don't have to be here," he tried.
"Harm, Mac's one of our own and so are you. Where else would we be?" Harriet asked.
Nurse Bell watched from her chair as a group of people came in and joined the Commander. She smiled; glad that he would no longer be alone in his waiting. She had been worried about him, there was that look in his eyes as if he was lost and adrift. She turned back to her paperwork, jotting down a note about a patient she had just visited. All of the sudden, she heard herself being paged to the OR. She threw down her pen and rushed off, scurrying down the hall.
She entered the large room and found the doctors and nurses trying to save the flat-lining patient.
"We're losing her, damnit!" the doctor called out frantically. "Shock her! Again!"
Bell watched as they feverishly tried to save the patient.
"Doctor, I've got a pulse. It's faint but it's there," a nurse exclaimed.
Everybody visibly relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief before immediately going back to work. The sooner they finished up, the better. They didn't have much time left.
(Hours later)
"Here, Harm," Jen offered tentatively. "I've brought you some coffee."
"Thanks," he said, taking the steaming cup from her outstretched hand and taking a sip of it. It dull, bland, and boring to his taste. He found himself missing the strong Marine coffee that Mac would make.
"Harm, what is that?" Sturgis asked, pointing to Harm's hand. He had just caught sight of a wedding band on the ring finger.
Harriet turned around to see what he was talking about and gasped, dropping her cup of coffee. It fell to the floor, the dark brown liquid splattering everywhere. At the sound of the splash, all the others looked at Harm then at the ring Harriet was pointing at for an explanation.
He avoided their inquisitive looks, instead focusing on the cup in his hands. The silence was unbearable and he knew they would not let it rest until they found out. He just hoped that Mac would be okay with it all. He looked up, avoiding Harriet's eyes and looked directly at the Admiral. For some reason, Harm felt that the only acceptance he needed would come from this retired Seal. After all, who could inflict upon him more bodily harm over the rest of the crew? Just as he was about to answer, a doctor stepped forward.
"Commander Rabb?" he asked.
"Yes?" Harm stood up, feeling grateful to be spared of the moment yet apprehensive of what the doctor would tell him.
Dr. Collins looked around at the rest of the group. "I need to speak to you in private, about your wife," he said, not wanting to violate doctor-client privilege.
Harm set down his empty cup and avoiding everyone's stunned looks, he followed the doctor away from the group. The doctor's last comment should clue them in enough to keep them gossiping until he returned.
"Is everything okay?" Harm asked, resting his hands on his hips.
"Well..." Dr. Collins started.
Bud looked at Harriet who looked at Sturgis who looked at the Admiral who looked at Coates.
"What? I didn't know they were married," she exclaimed.
"You live right down the hall from the Commander, didn't you notice that something was up?" Harriet asked.
"I don't see him that often. Since Mattie moved out, it's like the two of us are on opposite ends of the earth," explained Jen, feeling a little hurt. Harm had been like a father to her, but when Mattie had decided to fix things with her dad, Harm had pulled back and out of her life as far as he possibly could. Maybe she reminded him of Mattie. She knew it was hard for him to let her slip out of his life.
"Sturgis, you're his best friend. Did you know that he and Mac got married?" Harriet demanded to know. How such an important little detail about her good friends had slipped right by her, she didn't know.
Sturgis shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't been Harm's best friend for years; Mac earned that role years ago. What about you, Admiral? Did you know anything about this?"
AJ shook his head. "I didn't even know that Mac was sick," he said.
"She almost died on us a couple of times. You have a very lucky wife there, Commander. She's doing fine now. She's still unconscious but she should wake up in a few hours. Sarah will feel sore and some pain in her abdomen area for a few days but unless it gets really bad, I wouldn't worry too much about it," Dr. Collins paused.
"What else?" Harm tentatively asked.
"She won't be able to have kids. The internal damage was too far-spread, I'm sorry."
The rest of the doctor's explanation was a blur after Harm heard that. No kids. How would Mac handle that news? She had always wanted kids, especially after being a big sister to Chloe. After everything they'd been through, they were still having more trials thrown at them.
"When can I see her?" he eagerly asked.
"In a few minutes, we're moving her right now to her own room in ICU. We'd like to keep her here for about a week, maybe less, just to see how things are going," suggested Dr. Collins.
Harm nodded. "No chance whatsoever?"
"None," he assured Harm.
Harm sighed in regret. He blamed himself for this. Now there was no way they could keep their baby deal. She'd never know the joy of holding a child of their own. She could have known. If only he'd told her sooner how much he loved her. His actions showed her plenty but she needed to hear the words. Only when she was nearly dying did those words spring from his mouth. It was all his fault.
CHAPTER 3: No Chance
Harm was idly flipping through a magazine in front of him. If someone had asked him what kind of magazine it was, he wouldn't have been able to answer them. He was trying, unsuccessfully, to keep his mind distracted.
"Commander Rabb," a deep male voice boomed out, startling him enough to drop the magazine.
Recognizing the voice and out of habit, Harm rose from the couch and stood at attention.
"Relax, Harm. I'm retired, it's AJ now," AJ told him.
"Sorry, sir, I mean, AJ."
"How is she?"
"I don't know, nobody's told me anything yet. Sir, what are you doing here?" Harm knew that it wasn't just coincidence that his former commanding officer had joined him.
AJ ignored the 'sir'. "Reverend Turner called me about a half hour ago. Seems he found someone who needed some company for a few hours and he suggested that I might be able to help," AJ explained, taking a seat in a nearby uncomfortable plastic chair.
"And we thought we'd come along," someone added.
Harm looked up to see Jen, Sturgis, Harriet, and Bud.
"You all don't have to be here," he tried.
"Harm, Mac's one of our own and so are you. Where else would we be?" Harriet asked.
Nurse Bell watched from her chair as a group of people came in and joined the Commander. She smiled; glad that he would no longer be alone in his waiting. She had been worried about him, there was that look in his eyes as if he was lost and adrift. She turned back to her paperwork, jotting down a note about a patient she had just visited. All of the sudden, she heard herself being paged to the OR. She threw down her pen and rushed off, scurrying down the hall.
She entered the large room and found the doctors and nurses trying to save the flat-lining patient.
"We're losing her, damnit!" the doctor called out frantically. "Shock her! Again!"
Bell watched as they feverishly tried to save the patient.
"Doctor, I've got a pulse. It's faint but it's there," a nurse exclaimed.
Everybody visibly relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief before immediately going back to work. The sooner they finished up, the better. They didn't have much time left.
(Hours later)
"Here, Harm," Jen offered tentatively. "I've brought you some coffee."
"Thanks," he said, taking the steaming cup from her outstretched hand and taking a sip of it. It dull, bland, and boring to his taste. He found himself missing the strong Marine coffee that Mac would make.
"Harm, what is that?" Sturgis asked, pointing to Harm's hand. He had just caught sight of a wedding band on the ring finger.
Harriet turned around to see what he was talking about and gasped, dropping her cup of coffee. It fell to the floor, the dark brown liquid splattering everywhere. At the sound of the splash, all the others looked at Harm then at the ring Harriet was pointing at for an explanation.
He avoided their inquisitive looks, instead focusing on the cup in his hands. The silence was unbearable and he knew they would not let it rest until they found out. He just hoped that Mac would be okay with it all. He looked up, avoiding Harriet's eyes and looked directly at the Admiral. For some reason, Harm felt that the only acceptance he needed would come from this retired Seal. After all, who could inflict upon him more bodily harm over the rest of the crew? Just as he was about to answer, a doctor stepped forward.
"Commander Rabb?" he asked.
"Yes?" Harm stood up, feeling grateful to be spared of the moment yet apprehensive of what the doctor would tell him.
Dr. Collins looked around at the rest of the group. "I need to speak to you in private, about your wife," he said, not wanting to violate doctor-client privilege.
Harm set down his empty cup and avoiding everyone's stunned looks, he followed the doctor away from the group. The doctor's last comment should clue them in enough to keep them gossiping until he returned.
"Is everything okay?" Harm asked, resting his hands on his hips.
"Well..." Dr. Collins started.
Bud looked at Harriet who looked at Sturgis who looked at the Admiral who looked at Coates.
"What? I didn't know they were married," she exclaimed.
"You live right down the hall from the Commander, didn't you notice that something was up?" Harriet asked.
"I don't see him that often. Since Mattie moved out, it's like the two of us are on opposite ends of the earth," explained Jen, feeling a little hurt. Harm had been like a father to her, but when Mattie had decided to fix things with her dad, Harm had pulled back and out of her life as far as he possibly could. Maybe she reminded him of Mattie. She knew it was hard for him to let her slip out of his life.
"Sturgis, you're his best friend. Did you know that he and Mac got married?" Harriet demanded to know. How such an important little detail about her good friends had slipped right by her, she didn't know.
Sturgis shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't been Harm's best friend for years; Mac earned that role years ago. What about you, Admiral? Did you know anything about this?"
AJ shook his head. "I didn't even know that Mac was sick," he said.
"She almost died on us a couple of times. You have a very lucky wife there, Commander. She's doing fine now. She's still unconscious but she should wake up in a few hours. Sarah will feel sore and some pain in her abdomen area for a few days but unless it gets really bad, I wouldn't worry too much about it," Dr. Collins paused.
"What else?" Harm tentatively asked.
"She won't be able to have kids. The internal damage was too far-spread, I'm sorry."
The rest of the doctor's explanation was a blur after Harm heard that. No kids. How would Mac handle that news? She had always wanted kids, especially after being a big sister to Chloe. After everything they'd been through, they were still having more trials thrown at them.
"When can I see her?" he eagerly asked.
"In a few minutes, we're moving her right now to her own room in ICU. We'd like to keep her here for about a week, maybe less, just to see how things are going," suggested Dr. Collins.
Harm nodded. "No chance whatsoever?"
"None," he assured Harm.
Harm sighed in regret. He blamed himself for this. Now there was no way they could keep their baby deal. She'd never know the joy of holding a child of their own. She could have known. If only he'd told her sooner how much he loved her. His actions showed her plenty but she needed to hear the words. Only when she was nearly dying did those words spring from his mouth. It was all his fault.