AN: This chapter is full of shipperness! I don't think that a tissue warning is required for this one unless you are a hopeless romantic like me.
Chapter 9: Losing Control
The hours seemed to drag on slowly as Harm and Sarah just talked. The doctor had been by to check on her progress and had promptly left when he found everything to be going well.
"Harm," Sarah began hesitantly.
"What is it?" he asked, reaching out to gently caress her cheek with his right hand.
She leaned into his hand and sighed in happiness. With just one touch, he had her heart fluttering and her stomach filled with butterflies. Just the simple whisper of her name seemed to leave her trembling at the knees. She wished she could just continue to let him in his ministrations but he was distracting her from what she needed to say. But before she could speak, he leaned in and cupped her face in his hands.
"Sarah," he whispered, his voice deep and husky. He closed the distance between them and brushed his lips against her soft ones, continuing to draw strength from the kiss. Before she could come to her senses and deepen the kiss as she always wanted, he pulled back slightly, a slight smile gracing his face.
"I've missed you. God, you're beautiful," murmured Harm, leaning in again.
She didn't fight him at all, just giving in to her heart and not to her head. This time he had barely deepened the kiss when she felt the need to pull away. She just needed to breath a little, she wasn't up to her full strength yet and his kisses were drawing so much from her.
He reached out and ran his fingers along the outline of her slightly swollen lips, hoping that she couldn't see how defenseless and helpless she was making him but knowing that she did.
Sarah decided that what she needed to say could be brought up later and she pushed the thought to the back of her mind as she focused on his tender touches.
"Say it again," she begged.
"You're beautiful, Sarah Rabb," he whispered. "And I love you."
She kissed the tips of his fingers that were still touching her mouth before responding, "I love you too."
Those four words were all it took. Harm's control went flying out the window and the fact that they were in the hospital seemed to be forgotten. He pulled his hand away and leaned in, pressing his lips to hers in a searing kiss. He was hurting inside and he needed a release. His simple confessions and outbursts of words in front of AJ and then Sarah had not taken it all away from him. He poured all his emotion and his whole soul into the kiss.
Mac was just about to lose herself in his kiss when she heard a knocking on the door.
Startled, she tried to pull away but he wasn't ready to stop. "Harm," she moaned. "Stop." The door opened and a nurse walked in just as Harm pulled back. He didn't seem to notice the nurse as he gazed into his wife's eyes, worried and fearful that he had somehow hurt her.
"Colonel Rabb? Is everything okay?" the petite blond-haired nurse asked.
"Everything's fine. Why?" Mac managed to tear her gaze away from Harm's captivating eyes long enough to look at the nurse.
"Your heartbeat was increasing at a rapid rate and it set the machine off. I just need to make sure that you're all right," she explained. As she looked between the two, she knew immediately what had caused the abnormal rate of increase.
Harm and Mac blushed, fearing that they were caught and both not caring somehow.
"May I suggest that you take it slower next time, Commander Rabb?" the nurse slyly suggested. She turned on her heel and headed out, leaving behind an even more embarrassed Harm and a laughing Mac.
"She's right, you know? Your kisses do send my heart racing," Mac lightly teased.
"I'm glad I can still do that to you."
"You have always done that to me," she countered.
"Even when we kissed at your engagement party?" he hesitantly asked.
"Even then," she assured him. The hurt and pain and memories that came with that event and the many others tied to it were not forgotten but all was forgiven.
They continued to gaze into each other's eyes, becoming lost in the depths within. Had it been anyone else under the other's intense stare, they would have looked away in discomfort but Harm and Sarah only reveled in the knowledge that they had permission to look at each other like that.
His eyes full of love for her, but there was the glint of fear in them. Was he scared? Scared of what? Of losing her, maybe? "When you look at me like that, what do you see?" Mac asked.
He gazed back at her intently, his blue eyes focused on her chocolate brown eyes. "I see a desirable woman whom I love, a Marine that doesn't easily nor willingly back down from a challenge. I see a beautiful woman who when I'm with her makes me a better person. I see my best friend and partner who has saved my six countless times. I see the woman who has captured my heart nine years ago in a place where the scenery didn't even begin to compare to her beauty. And I see my wife, the only woman who I could ever imagine growing old with."
By now, Mac had tears streaming down her face. For all the times this man had messed up and emotionally hurt her, he could come back and say or do some pretty nice things.
"Don't cry, ninja girl," he said softly, reaching out to gently wipe the tears from her cheeks.
"I don't know how I ever lived without you, Harmon Rabb," she whispered, her voice soft and full of love.
"And I without you," he returned. He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against hers, this time keeping it short but sweet.
He heard her sigh of disappointment at its quickness but the look in his eyes assured her that he would make it up in the future.
They continued to talk and about an hour later, they were interrupted by a tentative knock on the door.
"Come in," Harm called out, leaning back in his chair to see who would be visiting. To his complete and entire surprise, it was Mattie and her dad.
By mutual agreement among all involved, it had been decided a couple months ago that it would be best for Mattie to return to living with her father. Harm hated it, and he hated letting her go but he knew that she needed to be with her real dad. They were family and they needed to learn to be one together. So Harm had let her go and the day after she had packed up and left, he had broken down in tears with Mac there to comfort him. He was so tired of losing everyone that ever meant something to him in his life. First his father, then Diane, and now Mattie. The fear of losing Mac would be too much for him and so that was the first time that he told her that he loved her. Not as a partner, not as a best friend, but as a woman.
Mattie had sometimes called him just to say hi and ask for advice. She missed him terribly but had moved to a point where she was just beginning to understand her father. So when she had called Jen Coates for one of their friendly little chats and found out that Mac was in the hospital, having undergone serious life-threatening surgery, Mattie had wanted to be there in an instant. When she told Tom, her dad, the news about Mac, he immediately suggested that they go over and visit her. He was grateful for the Colonel, what she had said to him from one recovering alcoholic to another had saved his life and had given him hope to change it.
Now they stood in the doorway, Mattie in front of her father, both a little hesitant and unsure of what to say or how to begin. Harm solved all of their nervousness when he released Mac's hand and stood, moving to hug Mattie tightly. When they had pulled away he offered his hand to Tom Johnson who after a brief pause of hesitation shook it. Things had been awkward between Tom and Harm but Harm had done his best to try and make it comfortable.
"Hi, Mattie. What brings you out here?" Mac greeted, sitting up a little in the bed.
Mattie was shocked. Mac was pale and looked to be only a ghost of her normal self. She still had that glint of Marine Colonel strength in her eyes but Mattie had never seen Mac look so weak and tired.
"Mattie, I'm okay. Everything's going to be okay," assured Mac. She held out her arms to the young teenager.
In an action completely uncharacteristically not her, Mattie fell into Mac's open arms in a hug. In Mattie's mind, Mac had always been invincible and strong and to see her like this now...it scared her.
As Mattie pulled back from her hug, she caught sight of something glimmering on Mac's ring finger. She gasped in surprise, recognizing immediately the ring that belonged to the Rabb family. She had been looking for one of Harm's t-shirts to use as a pajama top when she had discovered the black velvet jewelry box in his top dresser drawer. Curiosity had gotten the better of her and when Harm had caught her looking at it, she had gotten him to explain the reason behind having it to her.
It was the ring that his grandfather had given to Sarah Rabb when they were married, it was the ring given to Trish when his father had proposed and now it was his to give to the woman he loved enough to be his wife. Mattie had instantly asked when he would be giving it to Mac and a strange look had crossed his face. It was his "I'm embarrassed but going to hide it" look. He had fumbled around with words, saying that she wouldn't want it.
"What?....When?" Mattie gasped, looking up at Harm then back at Mac. "Are you two married?"
Mac and Harm could only nod. Mattie had been an important part of his life and he should have told her that he had gotten married but they hadn't have wanted to tell anyone. They had just wanted it to be small, just the two of them and so she hadn't been informed. Now they awaited her reaction.
"Finally. I can't believe that it took you two so long. When did it happen? How did he propose? When did you get married?" Mattie was full of questions.
"Well," Mac began with a look at Harm, "We were at the park..." Both couldn't seem to keep from grinning as they told their story to an enthralled Mattie.