TITLE: A Reminder of You by: nekozuki1776
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Sanzo couldn't help but notice the flowers. Shonen-ai. Hakkai x Sanzo pairing. 83
Dedicated to SH ML and Taciturnity.
Inspired by the poem, "I Almost Went to Bed" by Leonard Cohen.
A Reminder of You
A pensive monk sat on the window ledge watching the sun set, blowing warm smoke into the outside air.
Sanzo looked forward to these times of solace. He relished the ambient moment between day and night when the dichotomy of light merging into darkness was the most profound.
He chose this time of quiet solitude to grab a few smokes, delve into thoughts of the journey, and even ponder on the nonsensical.
He could tell by the nip in the early evening air the temperature was dropping with each passing day. It was a point in the season when he could make a faint outline of his breath almost as distinctly as the smoke he blew into the twilight sky.
Changing foliage. Longer nights. Chill in the air. A long sleeve cardigan.
Signs of autumn taking the place of summer.
The prior three signs were quite evident, saturating the environment with the changes of the season. But it was the last item that dominated Sanzo's thoughts. Or more specifically, the owner of that last item.
Sanzo, like his abhorrence to all things comforting, did not care for sweaters. They were bothersome, bulky accoutrements he had no need for. His trademark attire of holy robes, skin tight togs, and gloves were more than adequate in regulating his body temperature; even in the coldest of days. Besides, sweaters never looked right on him.
But it did on someone else.
As if on cue, Hakkai entered the room attired in his long sleeve tee and matching cotton slacks with the said cardigan draped casually over his shoulders.
Fresh out of the shower, Hakkai looked calm and rejuvenated. He seemed especially relaxed this evening. His contentment of a first night's rest in a long while that didn't involve camping in the middle of nowhere was quite evident in his demeanor. It gave Sanzo an unexpected sense of relief to see Hakkai in this rarely unguarded state.
But even with these moments of revelation, Hakkai remained very much a mystery. Despite his skill in unraveling the psychology of the mind, there were many things Sanzo had yet to divine on the man before him.
Courteous, patient, and kind. Equally gentle and tolerating to strangers as well as to his travel mates. Always smiling that cordial smile. That seemingly amicable and undecipherable expression portraying a thousand words, a thousand thoughts.
Even his actions seldom betrayed his thoughts in his role as the unofficial caretaker of the group. Never rude and predictably considerate. Just like clockwork. And Hakkai never missed a beat. So it was a curious event when Hakkai actually did something out of the ordinary.
Like those flowers.
Sanzo's attention proceeded to the other side of the ledge which occupied a glass jar filled with a cluster of white flowers. Flowers which Hakkai had placed earlier that day. But it wasn't the flowers decorating the window sill that was so unusual. Hakkai often did things like this to make their stay in the temporary residence more aesthetically pleasing.
What caught his attention were the petals of the same flower strewn all over Hakkai's bed. Although seemingly carefree and easygoing in his actions, Hakkai rarely did anything outside the norm without a reason.
And Sanzo wondered of the rationale behind this strange behavior.
But what the hell did it matter what he did? The petals were probably a homeopathic remedy that provided a therapeutic effect on the senses.
Or something along those lines.
Fine. Hakkai could grow a whole herb farm by the bedside for all he cared. As long as it didn't disturb Sanzo's quiet rest, it didn't matter.
And if his eccentric hobby aided him in his part of the journey, then all the power to him. As long as it didn't interfere with the main purpose of the mission, Sanzo could care less about the youkai and his strange habits.
Which was the mantra he repeated to himself over and over again.
A soft voice interrupted his rampant convictions, "Sanzo?"
"What?" the monk responded, more gruffly than he intended.
"Are you ok? You seem troubled."
Sazno seamlessly found a response to cover up his current thoughts, "Just thinking how much more traveling there is to do before we reach Gyumaoh's castle."
Hakkai grinned, "Ah, I see. We have encountered some extraneous adventures as of late."
"Ch. Nothing but trouble."
"But I think these adventures have helped in strengthening the group in the process."
Sanzo took a last exhale of the shortened cigarette and flicked the remaining stub in the ashtray, "This isn't some idiotic team building exercise we got going on here. We're on a mission and we shouldn't be strayed by anything."
"Ahaha. You're right about that. The completion of the mission is of the utmost priority. But despite all the diversions, I think we are still fairly on schedule." Hakkai fingered the sleeves of his cardigan and tied them together in a loop, positioning the sweater more squarely on his shoulders.
"Ch. Whatever." Sanzo turned away from him towards the open window as if to punctuate the end of discussion. He lit another cigarette, focusing his attention to the darkening sky. He took a satisfying drag as he let his mind astray once more.
The sweater suited him. A hue of dark green which further intensified the brilliant eyes of the brunette. It was one of the many things about the youkai that made his heart beat a little faster, a little louder.
Just like those flowers.
As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't help but revisit his thoughts on the petals which now seemed to be emitting a subtle scent.
Sanzo wished he could read the motives behind this man's actions as easily as he could read the changes in the season. He despised spending a second more of his time thinking about this matter. He hated wanting to know what the other was thinking. It pissed him off beyond all reason to let something as trivial as flower petals affect his thought process.
As if sensing his mood, Hakkai approached the window and gently took one of the flowers by the stem from its makeshift vase. Without any preliminaries, he began talking about the object of the monk's frustration.
"I found them this afternoon while taking a walk. It happens to be one my favorite flowers."
Purple eyes turned to meet green as Hakkai continued.
"I was pleasantly surprised to see them still growing despite the recent change in the climate. Although it doesn't stand out as much as the more popular flowers like roses, lilies, daisies, or even its more common counterpart, it's a hearty floral and has a distinctly sweet fragrance."
"What's the name of the flower?"
Hakkai paused only a moment before he continued speaking, bypassing the monk's inquiry.
"If you observe more closely, you can see the countless purple veins running through the petals toward the center. It's as if this flower was bestowed with its own pathway, helping to guide nature – the wind, the sun, the bees, and the birds—to the source of its nectar."
Sanzo finished off his last cigarette, stood up from the ledge, and closed the window. The twilight time of pondering was over as he walked towards Hakkai's bed and picked up a petal to confirm the brunette's statement. True to his word, he saw the distinct purple lines splayed outward on the petal, like his harisen—making a path to and from the golden center of the bud.
"Pretty logical and thoughtful, don't you think, Sanzo?"
Sanzo stood still, gazed at Hakkai, and processed the youkai's thorough knowledge of this particular flower.
"Hakkai-"
"You remind me of this flower Sanzo," the brunette cut in. "It's level-headed yet a considerate type of a floral you see, leading us the way to our goals, our responsibilities, our comfort, and most of all, to the source of what I want the most."
The monk gazed at him in speechless amazement; suddenly becoming very aware of the other steadily approaching him. He stared, not blinking once as if mesmerized.
"Do you see what I mean, Sanzo?"
Hakkai raised the flower to his own lips, kissed the petals softly, and offered it to the houshi for his inspection. Sanzo continued to stand still as he silently inhaled the sweet scent of the flower mingling with those of the freshly bathed Hakkai.
He looked at the proffered item and returned his gaze back to the owner. Hakkai then drew the flower in a slow semi-circle of a caress from the monk's one flushed cheek to the other.
Becoming too dazed to act properly, Sanzo stubbornly willed himself in control as he breathlessly asked for the last time, "Damn it Hakkai, what's the name of that flower?"
Hakkai offered him a look of unrestrained emotion as he inclined his head and let the name spill out in a seductively drawn out manner,
"White . . . Violets."
The two whispered words snapped the last vestige of his self-control as Sanzo grasped the sweater by the sleeves and closed in on the last fraction of space between their lips; letting the white petals consume them both.
I almost went to bed
without remembering
the four white violets
I placed in the button-hole
of your green sweater.
And how I kissed you then
and you kissed me
shy as though I'd
never been your lover.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
A/N – White violet is an offshoot of the more commonly known violet. The structure of the flower is similar to those of the purple-colored variety except the petals are white and more circular. The petals also contain thin purple veins that stretch out from the yellow center of the bud.