The Hidden Painting
A
few more steps and they stood right in front of Number 12, Grimmauld Place.
They didn't ring the doorbell; Remus just took a key out of his pocket and
opened the door, stepping aside to let Harry pass.
An
icy shiver ran down Harry's spine when the deadly silence welcomed him home.
Home.
That's what he'd liked to call this house if he had ever been able to move in
with his Godfather. Now it was just an empty house, which gave him memories he
wished he could forget.
Remus
left him alone with his thoughts. He stood at his side and waited patiently for
him to go on. Harry did not know if he had the strength for it, though.
With
a small sigh he walked further into the house, his feet leading the way into
the kitchen without him realizing it. He sat down at the table, finding himself
staring at the now dark fireplace.
Here
he had talked for the last time to Sirius. The thought about his father being
just as arrogant as Snape had ever told him was the reason for it. His
Godfather's words had calmed him slightly without convincing him totally.
Harry's throat and eyes burned but he didn't want to cry, not with Remus
around. Remus would have likely understood but the thought of breaking down in
front of him was altogether too much for Harry.
The
sound of Lupin clearing his throat startled him and he looked up.
"We
have to be at the Burrow in three hours. Molly and Arthur are awaiting us.
Maybe, we should start?"
He
waited for Harry's answer before he left the kitchen again.
Stopping
briefly in the almost dark hall, he looked at Harry. Remus could see the
sadness and pain in his eyes, caused simply by the fact that they had to come
back.
Remus
smiled only half-hearted. He wouldn't tell Harry that he felt exactly the same
way, being in this house.
They
'd come for Sirius' personal things, which had remained behind.
"Should
we go up to his room first?"
Harry was still unable to say anything, fearing his voice would crack
and his well-kept control was lost. So he simply nodded in agreement.
The dim oil lamp hardly lit up the room, causing Remus
to turn it up a little until they were able to see more. Yet this light helped
none for there was nothing to see at all.
It
seemed that there was nothing personal except for a few clothes thrown carelessly
in two of the drawers.
Harry
found one of Hermione's S.P.E.W. badges on the table by the bed. She must have
given it to Sirius at Christmas. He remembered them deeply in conversation at
one time. He couldn't even smile about it.
"There is
nothing here to see. Maybe I can find something in the library or the drawing
room."
Remus sent another worried look in Harry's direction but receiving no
reply, walked out of the room leaving him alone.
For
an endless time as it seemed, Harry stood deeply lost in his thoughts before he
slowly walked out of the room. Unsure which way to go, he stopped and listened
into the silence. Try as he might, all Harry could hear was the
lonely creaking noises from the old wooden floor.He wished he would hear the shrill, angry
voice of Mrs. Black yelling at the top of her lungs at Sirius but nothing.
Sirius
would never disturb the painting of his mother again, giving her a reason to
scream. Harry wasn't even sure if the picture was still at the wall. He vaguely
remembered Remus telling him about finding a way to reverse the permanent
sticking charm.
Harry
wandered along the dark hallway when he reached an even darker stair, leading
up what must be the way to the attic. The black hole in the wall with its steep
steps seemed to call him and carefully, he took each step up into nowhere. His
outstretched hands knocked hard against a wooden door, forcing him finally to
take out his wand.
"Lumos!"
The
head of a House-elf sat instead of a normal doorknob and stared at Harry with
hollow eyes. He turned the knob and the door opened without the expected
squeak.
The
air smelled dusty and spider-webs covered the ceiling and were spread all over
the windows. A rocking horse with a broken nose stood beside a worn leather
armchair, too dirty to even be touched. Old tattered robes hung from the
ceiling like forgotten signs of another time.
Small
footprints were all over the dirty floor and Harry suspected them to be
Kreacher's. Sirius had told him that he came up here from time to time to look
for more treasures of his beloved Mistress.
An
old cupboard stood nearby, its doors wide open and Harry looked inside.
Nothing.
The
same with an enormous trunk, wearing the emblem of the Black family. A few more
or less small boxes bore some broken cups and plates. One was filled with
pictures of the noble Black family that had been thrown away by Sirius, Harry
remembered. Kreacher had probably taken them out of the bin, hiding them up
here.
Harry
looked around. There was nothing else up here and he was almost ready to leave
when his eyes fell on something in the darkest corner, reflecting dimly the
light coming from his wand. He moved closer, his heart beating rapidly. It was
a mirror, covered completely by dust and spider-webs.
'The
mirror of Erised' Harry thought for a short moment. His hand shot forward and
wiped the dirt of the blinded glass, sending waves of dust into the air. He
coughed hard before he had a look into the mirror.
Hope
left as fast as it had come. His face was the only staring back at him, looking
disappointed and at the verge of tears.
Harry
kicked out for the useless piece of furniture, his view clouded with now freely
streaming tears brought up by his anger. How stupid he was to hope and find a
sign of Sirius.
Breathing
harshly and almost choking on the water running from his eyes, he watched the
mirror fall to the side, loosing its balance and hitting the floor hard before
the glass shattered into a thousand pieces, sending up more clouds of dust.
Harry
cried for some long minutes, his eyes never leaving the slightly shining
remains of the broken mirror. Still upset, he wiped his eyes with anger shaken
hands, clearing the blur away caused from all of his tears.
A
silent 'Oh' escaped his mouth when he saw something leaning against the wall,
hidden before by the large mirror. It had almost the same height as Harry;
square in shape and very thin. It looked like a large picture or frame to
Harry. Rough blankets were tied with ropes around it, hiding its heart from
curious views.
The knots opened with much difficulty but finally they gave way.
His
fingers hurt from the effort but he didn't care. Pushing the blankets aside, he
revealed a slightly faded painting as he could see by the color of it.
First,
he saw only a pair of long legs in tight, black trousers. A hand was pushed at
his side, fingers hooked in the once shiny leather belt. The other arm was
lifted and the young man leaned with his hand against the wall of a room, lit
up by some torches besides his head. His hair fell in large black waves down
his shoulders. The almost black eyes looked straight ahead, gleaming with a
fire of their own. A mocking smile was spread over his handsome face, showing a
lot of confidence.
Harry
saw the young man and shadows caused by even more tears clouded his view. He
couldn't stop the sobs escaping his chest when he recognized him for who he
was.
He
thought his eyes had played him a trick when the man's eyes moved and grew
large, wiping with it the mockery out of his smile. Now, he looked sad and
Harry ought to see a single tear dwelling in the man's right eye.
Blinded
by the silvery drops pouring from his own eyes, he reached out with one hand
coming slowly closer to the parchment. The hand hooked inside the belt moved
and when Harry put his shaking hand flat against the painting, the young man
had done the same from inside of it, their palms meeting at the same place.
A
tickling ran across Harry's hand and his skin felt pleasantly warm.
"Hello
Harry!"
His
sobbing increased and he couldn't stop his tears from falling even harder.
"Si-Sirius?"
He
knew that it was Padfoot. He looked exactly the same he had in Snape's memories
but he simply couldn't believe his eyes.
"Yes."
The
smile looked very sad now and the tear rolled slowly down his cheek, leaving a
silvery path on his skin.
"Don't
cry. There's no need for it."
An
angry laughter escaped Harry, so filled with pain it made Sirius' skin crawl by
the sound.
"No,
isn't it? What do you know, huh? You are dead and it's all my fault."
Sirius
didn't answer. Just his thumb moved a bit like he would try and caress his hand
to calm him down.
"Don't
be silly, Lad, it wasn't your fault."
Harry
pulled his hand back quickly, sending a hurt look on Sirius face. Guilt rushed
through his veins but no word of excuse came from his mouth.
Sirius
folded his arms briskly in front of his chest, leaning with his shoulder
against the wall, watching Harry with big eyes.
"You
know, I didn't choose to go, I did not want to. But, you didn't shoot me remember?
"
He
pushed his hair back behind his ears with a quick move.
"I know
that I didn't treat you the way that I should have.I always saw James in you whenever I
looked at you."
He
paused for a moment. Harry just stared at his stricken face with water-filled
eyes.
"But
you are not James although I tried hard to bring him back. Through you. I was
scared that I would forget him. And Lily. But I wanted to remember."
He
looked deep in Harry's eyes.
"You
are so much more than I admitted. You are brave like your Dad but you are full
of cleverness like your Mum was."
Harry's
chest heaved from his heart wrenching sobs.
"I…
I am not…"
Sirius
smiled again, his eyes full of pride.
"Yes
you are. You …"
Harry
interrupted him, almost yelling into his face.
"I
AM NOT. If I would have been as clever as you said, Voldemort had never fooled
me. I'd never come to the Ministry and made you come after me. I… I would have
not allowed for you to... Being killed!"
His
soft little cries stopped his raging words.
"Oh
Harry, older and wiser Wizards have been fooled by the dark Lord."
Sirius
let out a small sigh.
"James
would have done something reckless like always."
Harry
looked at him with a startled look on his red face.
"Oh,
I don't believe he'd put us in danger on purpose. But sometimes he tended to
act first and think afterwards. That's another gift of your Mum, given to you.
You
were clever enough to find a way all by yourself to London. You had the guts to
face Voldemort and his Death-Eater, always caring for your friends when you
were in danger, not loosing your head. That is very brave! And clever."
Sirius
put his hand flat against the inside of the painting again, smiling at him full
of love.
"You
know, what you are, Harry? You are your Mum and Dad's heart. The better of them
both. They would be really proud of you, Harry. Like I am proud of you."
Harry
sobbed even harder. All the pain he had kept inside since the day Sirius went
through the veil seemed to fall off of him. All the tears he couldn't cry before
flowed freely now.
"I
love you. I couldn't love you more if you were my own son, Harry. Always
remember that."
Harry
couldn't stand up anymore. He fell on the dirty floor, pulling his knees high
up to his chest, embracing them with his arms in which he hid his wet face.
After a little while he looked at the painting again only to find Sirius on the
floor, too, leaning with his back against the stonewall. His hand still reached
out for Harry.
Wiping
his wet face, he reached slowly for the painting and Sirius' hand. Their palms
seemed to meet once more, the same warm sensation spreading through Harry's
skin.
They
looked at each other, eyes never leaving the other person. Neither of them
smiled.
Harry
could read in his Godfather's face almost like in a book.
He
saw the worried expression on it. Like so many times before, always concerned
about his feelings.
He
saw something like guilt on it. Because he had left him all by himself behind
sooner that he'd planned? He'd probably never tell.
But
mostly he saw love. He saw the same love on Sirius face he felt deep inside his
heart for the man that was his Uncle and Godfather and Father, all in one
person.
He
didn't say anything, couldn't think of the right words.
There
was no need for it. They understood each other.
Even
when they couldn't be together anymore, they would never be apart.
A
smile found its way through Harry's tears and when he looked at Sirius face in
the painting, he found it returned.
They
sat the same way when Remus came into the attic, looking for Harry.
Tbc
