Disclaimer: X-Men and all related characters belong to the Marvel Entertainment Group unless otherwise stated. Only Sean Drake and the story are mine.
Pleasures of Fatherhood
Part 3
By Stranj100
Bobby looked up from his textbook toward his son. Sean Grey Drake sat happily on the living room floor playing with his blocks. He would stack them up and then laugh as knocked them down. His icy blue eyes sparkled all the while. Bobby loved him dearly. From his round cheeks and adorable smile to the luscious brown hair, he had inherited from Johnny. The blonde felt a familiar feeling of longing when he thought of his absent love.
Bobby turned his thoughts to another person gone, Jean. Jean would have delighted in the marvel that was his son. Bobby thought Sean's middle name was a fitting tribute to her. If she hadn't sacrificed herself, he might never have been born. Bobby didn't like to think about what his life would be like without him.
Sean was the greatest thing to happen in his life. When Johnny left, he took a piece of Bobby's heart leaving him feeling barren and hollow inside. He had begun to slowly fall into a depression. On top of that, he and parents began to drift apart. The pregnancy drew them back together and unfortunately drove Ronny farther away. His brother couldn't get past his fears and prejudices and share in the joy. After Sean was born, Bobby discovered how easily he could love again.
A knock on the door interrupted Bobby's musings. He glanced at the clock. He had two hours until work, so it wouldn't be Jean-Paul.
J.P. had followed Bobby to New York City when he moved to go to college. He now acted as a part-time nanny in exchange for the occasional date. J.P. didn't need money his father was a higher up the Canadian government. Bobby never let the relationship go very far, but that didn't stop the other man from trying. Jean-Paul always loved a challenge.
Who could it be? Bobby got a surprising answer when he opened the door.
"Johnny!?"
"Hello, Bobby," John replied.
The two men stood in the doorway silently eyeing each other both searching for something.
John was the first to speak. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked.
The blonde glanced nervously behind himself. John followed his gaze to the child playing on the floor.
"No, I don't think so. I think you better go," Bobby said firmly as he tried to close the door.
John put his hand against the door and pushed back forcing the door open all the way. John wouldn't have won such a contest in the past, because Bobby had always been stronger thanks to all the danger room training he did. Now Bobby was just college student and John was stronger thanks to the grueling training forced on him by Magneto.
"Why so cold, Icy? No warm greeting for an old lover?" the dark haired man said snidely as he stepped into the apartment.
Bobby flinched at use the old nickname. What was once a sweet endearment now dripped with malice.
"I heard you came out," John almost in a purred as he leaned forward and gripped the front of the blonde shirt.
Bobby gripped the other man's wrist and yanked at the hand. "So you came by hoping for a quick fuck!?" he accused.
John let go and growled, "I just wanted to talk."
"Well I don't!" the blonde said angrily has he tried to push John bodily out the apartment.
John slammed the door shut with his back. Then he grabbed Bobby's wrists and forced him back against the wall.
"You're not getting a choice!" John said growling.
There was a wordless shriek followed by a wooden block hitting John in the temple. He gasped at the slight pain and instinctually raised a hand to defend himself. Bobby used the opportunity to push away. John's tiny assailant charged forward. The child latched on to Bobby's leg and swung out with a tiny fist hitting the dark haired man in the leg.
"Mine, my dah-dee!" the child screamed in a shrill voice.
Bobby snatched up the boy and retreated to the center of the room. There he stood looking furious as clutched the toddler closely.
"You better go now." He said as the temperature in the room suddenly dropped several degrees.
The anger and bravado drained from John's face. "This wasn't the way it was supposed to go." He said dejectedly, "I can never think straight with you. One look and all plans go out the window."
John moved over and dropped onto the arm of the small couch where Bobby had been studying. All the fight was gone and now Bobby was unsure of himself.
Being the professor's student he said, "You wanted to talk, now talk," as circled away from John and placed Sean into his playpen, then stood in front of it protectively.
"Could you please sit," John pleaded as he seated himself properly.
The blonde made a disgusted noise and moved to the room's only other chair. The two men sat in silence. John winced slightly as he touched the bleeding cut on his temple then glanced at the child that stood in the playpen staring back at him suspiciously.
"How does a gay man have a baby? Did you and Rogue finally figure out how to have sex?"
"Rogue and I never had sex," Bobby said evasively.
The answer apparently didn't satisfy the dark haired man. "So who's the mom?"
The blonde averted his eyes guiltily. "I think you gave up the right to that answer the day you left."
"I left because of you," John said in a hurt voice, "because of the way you played both sides. I loved you and every time I saw you with Rogue, I ached. It wasn't fair."
"If you had just stayed everything would have been alright. I had to come out after you left anyway!" Bobby realized in his need to explain and defend himself he said too much. His eyes involuntarily darted between John and his son.
John noticed this. He wasn't stupid. He was actually very quick-witted. He just had an impulse that made him do stupid things. Two and two was making five.
"How old is the kid?" he asked.
Bobby answered reluctantly, "Twenty-one months and his name is Sean."
"Sean," John echoed then realization dawned and a look of betrayal filled face.
"Who were you sleeping with?" John accused.
Sean interrupted, "Dah-dee me wan joos."
A grateful Bobby turned to his son and said, "Just a minute, Tiger."
He got up and went into the kitchen. A minute later, he came carrying a sipper cup and a first-aid kit. The toddler extended a pair of grabby hands and grunted.
"Uh-uh, what do we say?" the blonde asked holding the cup out of reach.
"Pweez," the child said.
He handed the boy the cup then asked, "Now, what do we say?"
"Tank yoo," he responded automatically before plopping down and began to drink.
Bobby moved over to John. He shifted his books and sat on the coffee table.
"I thought we should take care that cut," he said blandly as he opened the kit and took out the supplies.
"You still haven't answered my question. Who was she? Who did you cheat with?" John asked as he pulled out his lighter.
He began to nervously clicking it open and snapping shut it shut.
Bobby shook his head. "I never slept with anyone but you.
"Bullshit!" Click, snap. "The kid..."
"...was conceived before you left, yes, but I never claimed to be the father," Bobby finished.
The lighter stilled. "He's adopted?"
"No, he's mine."
"You're a donor." John was confused.
"No."
"Then how?" the brown haired asked.
"I gave birth to him." Bobby stated simply.
"That's impossible. You're a guy."
"Impossible doesn't apply to mutants and technically I'm a hermaphrodite." Bobby said.
"Is he mine?" John asked staring at the child in the playpen.
Bobby dabbed the cut on John's temple harshly with antiseptic causing John to hiss through his teeth. "Of course, He's yours. I told you that you are only lover I've ever had."
John grabbed one of Bobby's hands gently and stared into his icy blue eyes. He leaned closer and Bobby could smell his familiar aftershave. He leaned even closer and the blonde could feel the warmth of his breath on his skin.
"Done," announced a small voice bringing Bobby back to his senses.
Bobby pushed John away and retreated to the center of the room again. John stood and shifted his gaze between his former lover and his newfound son waving an empty cup in the air.
"Done!" the boy declared more urgently.
Bobby had retreated into his thoughts and didn't respond.
John moved up to the playpen and truly looked at his son for the first time. He admired the child's cherub like face, thick curly brown locks, and beautiful blue eyes. There was no mistaking that this boy was a mix of him and Bobby. It left John awe struck.
"Aw done," the boy said now standing on his tiptoes trying to hand John the cup.
"You drank all?" John asked taking the cup.
"Yesh," the toddler said proudly with a laugh and a little dance before he plopped down on his butt and grabbed a stuffed tiger.
John watched his son play for a moment, then realized he was still holding the cup. Not certain what to do with it he turned and asked Bobby, "What should I do with this?"
"What?" Bobby said finally snapping out of it, "Oh, I'll take it."
Bobby went a grabbed the cup from John. Their hands touched for a moment and Bobby tensed then bolted into the kitchen. There he tried to compose himself as he went through the ritual of washing out the cup and placing it on the drying rack.
After gathering his courage, he entered the living room again. There he found his son growling as only toddler could at his father. John turned to Bobby with a look of helpless confusion and asked, "What is he doing?"
Bobby stifled a laugh and explained, "He's pretending that he's a tiger. It's his favorite animal. He wants you to play with him."
John continued to stare at the growling child with a look of wonder. Not turning away, he said, "We'll get married," he turned to Bobby with frenetic look, "We'll go to Boston. Then we'll..."
"Stop it! Just stop it," Bobby said sadly but firmly.
"What? Why?" Confusion filled John face.
Bobby shook his head and closed his eyes. "You can't pretend that us having a baby makes everything okay. You're still part of the Brotherhood. I cannot and will not let that endanger our son. I wanted to tell you a million times about Sean but I couldn't with that hanging over our heads."
"I would have left."
"You know Magneto never would have let you leave."
John turned and caressed his son cheek. Sean sensed the change in mood and grew quiet then leaned into the caress. John gave a small sad smile.
Bobby saw Johnny standing there, the sad and lonely thirteen-year-old boy who first came to Xavier's school. The same boy Bobby had first fallen in love with back when he didn't know what love was. The person Bobby had crawled into bed with in the middle countless times and with gentle words and tender caresses kept his nightmares of an abusive father at bay.
Over time, those small comforts turned into something. The three words were never spoken, but were surely felt. After they grew older and in control of their gifts, they were moved in with Pitor nothing changed. Pitor never said anything maybe he understood what was going on between them better then they did.
One summer when Bobby went home things changed. His mother was having coffee with a friend and He over heard their conversation. The McLean's son, Randy, was gay. His mother was surprised. Randy had been such a nice boy and police officer, too. It was such a shame. Madelyn was glad her boys would never turnout that way. They were good boys and perfectly normal.
Bobby regretted pulling away from Johnny after that but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
Sean went back to growling at his father. Johnny's sadness melted away and he picked up the toddler. Soon the two rolling around crawling on the floor playing happily together as Bobby just watched.
"We'll try and find away," Bobby whispered to himself.
A/N: Sorry for the long delay but life keeps getting in the way of the fun stuff. The next prat is written just not typed. I don't know when I'll get to. Hopefully it will be soon. So cross your fingers and pray to the little shiny gods of slashdom then maybe I'll find time soon.