"All right!" Sakura yelled. "The Bad Guys have chosen Gohei to replace Jin. They have two outs, runners on second and third. Next batter!"
Ilube walked up to the plate.
"What's with the mask?" Shizuru asked. "Isn't it hard to see with that thing on?"
"LAY OFF!" Ilube shouted. "Just throw the ball to me!"
Shizuru grinned. "Fine, you don't have to get so snippy about it. Jeez." She threw a fast ball right over the plate.
Ilube swung at the ball, and because he had an iron mask over one eye, it severely screwed up his depth perception and he swung two feet above the ball.
Laughing, Argo caught the ball and tossed it back to Shizuru.
"SHUT UP!" Ilube yelled. "Pitch it again!"
Shizuru wound up and threw a curve ball that, once again, passed right over the plate.
Ilube swung again, but this time, instead of swinging two feet above, he swung two feet below the ball.
Argo laughed so hard his umbrella hat fell off. After a couple minutes, he managed to say, "You know, if you put those two swings together, you would hit the ball!"
"GO SHOVE IT IN YOUR EAR!" Ilube yelled.
"You know, if you just took the stupid mask off, you might hit the ball." Shizuru suggested.
"YOU JUST PITCH THE BALL, GIRLIE!"
Shizuru glared at Ilube, then said sweetly, "Fine. Are you ready? CUZ HERE IT COMES!"
Shzuru chucked the ball at Ilube. Unlike the other two, this one didn't go over the plate. It targeted Ilube's face and smashed into him. Ilube was knocked to the ground and his mask landed beside him with a loud metallic thud!
Tiny stars floated around Ilube's head as he sat up. He wobbled and mumbled, "Ooo, lookit da purty lights."
Everyone in the stadium burst out laughing.
"Nice scar, freak!" Jinei yelled from the dugout.
"If you come work for me, I'll pay for the plastic surgery to get that fixed!" Kanryu added.
Ilube grabbed his mask and desperately tried to put it back on, but the ball left a huge dent in it and it fell off again.
Ilube burst into tears and ran out of the stadium, crying, "MOMMY!"
Kenshin glanced around at the people busting a gut about Ilube's scar and asked, "Miss Kaoru, why are they all making fun of the creepy unproportioned man?"
"Because of the ugly scar on his face." Kaoru said, still laughing.
Kenshin clapped one hand over his scar. "So, you think scars on the face are ugly?"
"Oh, no, Sir Ken." Megumi said soothingly. "Your scar is wonderful. It's so cross-shaped and dashing. It makes you look brave. That guy's scar was hideous because it went right through his eye."
Sakura waited until the laughter died down, then called, "Out! Inning's over! Switch positions! Good Guys at bat, Bad Guys in the field. Let's go, chop chop!"
"While we're waiting for everyone to get settled, and since Yugi's no longer with us, I will now read the new team lineups." Mai said.
"So far, the Bad Guys have lost four players, Marik, Toguro, Jin, and Ilube. Their new team is Yami Bakura, Aoshi, Jinei, Shishio, Sojiro, Kanryu "the Rich Snob" Takeita, Gohei "No Hands" Hiruma, Master Asia, and Rex "You Need a Mint Cause You've Got Some Serious Dino Breath" Raptor."
"The Good Guys have lost two players, Domon and Yusuke, so their new lineup is Shizuru, Argo, Kenshin, Hiei, Sano, Joey, Kurama, Megumi "The Fox" Takani, and Kaoru "The Ugly Raccoon Girl" Kamiya."
Kaoru ran over to the reserve dugout and whacked Yahiko with her wooden sword.
"OW!" Yahiko yelled. "Why the heck are you only hitting me? Sano helped!"
"Sanosuke's in more pain right now than I could ever put him through." Kaoru said wickedly.
Argo, Kenshin, and Kuwabara have gone to the outfield to "help" their three players off the field. Argo flung Sano over his shoulder and Kenshin grabbed Joey by the arms, dragging him over to the dugout. Both are still frozen from pain.
Kurama is still rolling around on the ground, laughing hysterically.
Kuwabara stared at him.
"Dude, it wasn't that funny." Kuwabara said. "So you can stop laughing now, okay?"
Kurama kept laughing.
"Hey, little brother!" Shizuru yelled from the dugout. "Just bring him over here and get your butt back to the reserve dugout! You're wasting time! I wanna get this game going before Little Miss Perfect out there gets ticked again and makes us all airborne!"
Sakura spun around. "What was that?"
Shizuru grinned. "You heard me."
Sakura pulled her Pink Star Wand out of the air, pointed it at Shizuru, and cried, "Windy!"
Shizuru vanished into a hurricane-force wind.
Mai came back over the PA system. "We have correction to the team lineups. Shizuru has also been eliminated. Good Guys must select a new reserve player before we can commence with the second inning."
Kenshin thought about it.
...and thought...
...and thought...
"Come on, stupid!" Argo yelled. "I don't know about you but I do NOT want to follow Shizuru!"
Kenshin thought some more, then smiled.
"I don't have any idea who I should pick!" He said cheerfully. "Whoever you decide on is fine with me, that it is."
Argo fumed and looked at the people in the reserve dugout. He yelled, "Ok, Old Man Moto, get your butt out here now!"
"Hey, what about me?" Kuwabara asked. "You can't leave me here with the old people and little kids! Especially since you took away two of the pretty ladies!"
"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" Everyone in the stadium yelled.
The remainder of people in the reserve dugout glared at Kuwabara.
"Batter up!" Sakura yelled.
Kenshin walked out to the plate, refusing the bat Marimo offered him, and took his stance, holding his reverse blade sword like a bat.
The catcher, Aoshi, held up his mitt and they waited.
((five minutes later))
They're still waiting.
"What is taking you so long?" Aoshi yelled.
The pitcher, Gohei, is standing on the mound, arms crossed, pouting.
"What is your problem?" Shura called from the stands.
"I've got a better question." Gohei said. "WHO'S THE GENIUS WHO DECIDED THAT I WOULD BE THE PITCHER!"
(That would be ME. Duh. Got a problem with it?)
Joey snapped out of his paralysis. "No, he doesn't! He has no problems whatsoever!""Yeah, I DO have a problem!" Gohei yelled. "I've got two busted hands! How do you expect me to pitch?"
(Beats me. You figure it out.)
"Keep your mouth shut, you idiot!" The spectators scream in perfect unison.
"NO!" Gohei yelled. "I will not be silenced! You know what I think, Miss High-and-Mighty Writer Chick? YOUR WRITING STINKS!"
(Oo, tell me you did not just say that. Oh, well. Not a problem. I assume you all know what this means.)
The speakers turned on and a perky and optimistic voice resounded though the stadium.
"Hey, everybody! What's up! It's me, Tea! I guess I'll be announcing from now on, because Mai and Mokuba ran off for some reason when I came up! They must have just remembered that they needed to be somewhere or something!"
The audience screamed and a mass riot ensued as everyone tried to run out of the stadium at the same time. In a matter of seconds, the stands were empty except for Shura, Botan, Keiko, Ishizu, and Allenby, who have all shoved huge cotton balls that are bigger than their heads into their ears, hoping to drown out the sound of Tea's voice.
The players tried to stampede off of the field, but titanium bars shot out of the walls, sealing off all the exits.
(You guys can't go yet. The game's not over. GET BACK IN YOUR POSITIONS!)
Everyone shuffled back onto the field.
(There's just one more thing I need to do before we end this part.)
All the bats in the stadium flew out to the pitcher's mound and started beating Gohei mercilessly. Then, when he was bloody and bruised beyond recognition, the pitcher's mound split open and Gohei disappeared into the depths of the Earth, where he was doomed to forever live as the personal slave of the leader of all the gnomes.
I love being an active participant in my fanfics. I should do it more often. That's it for this part. And we have a correction. The part with Jin wasn't the funniest thing. Personally, I like Gohei's beating much more. It relieved so much of my stress. I guess I'll see you all in part five.