A/N: So sorry, I've been alerted that I've been neglecting the use of the list, so for your help, here it is!! Enjoy the madness. Cost of admission: your sanity. Aragorn: 'Support the ESL Petition!!' see my webpage on freewebs for more detail!

Boromir: Aragorn

Frodo = Gimli

Gandalf = Pippin

Gimli = Sam

Legolas = Frodo

Merry = Merry

Pippin = Legolas

Sam = Gandalf

Denethor: Eowyn

Eomer: Denethor

Eowyn: Theoden

Theoden: Eomer

Gollum: Gollum

Chapter Four: Traveling to Fangorn Forest and other Stuff

"Ok, now that our good buddies are dead, pooh to the Rohirrim on that one, let's just go to Fangorn." Boromir says.

"Why, Boromir? They're dead, aren't they?" Pippin asks.

"But I feel that the original author of this story meant for it to be that way, so off we go!"

Finally in Fangorn...

"It's creepy over here..."

"Do you do anything but whine?"

"No, Boromir, I don't!"

"Frodo, you're such a baby!"

"I am NOT!!" Frodo screams.

"Are TOO!"

"ARE NOT!!"

"ARE TOO!"

"ARE NOT NOT NOT!!"

"ARE TOO TOO TOO!!"

"ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT!!!"

"ARE TOO TOO TOO TOO!!!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"MEEP! Sorry, Boromir, sir." Frodo and Pippin say.

"OK! Now that you've waken every living thing in these woods, I don't think I need to say that we're in mortal peril!"

"Boromir? Someone's coming..." Pippin says.

"Who?"

"Er, the white wizard?"

"GAH! Sauruman just had to come!"

"You know, he always rains on our parade!"

"Shut up, Frodo."

"Sorry."

Suddenly, a blinding flash, well, blinds the three companions and a rather squeaky voice says, "I've come for no apparent reason but don't shoot!!"

"Hey, that's not Sauruman!"

"Yeah! He's a stalker!!"

"No, you stupid hobbit. I'm Sam the Hobbit Wizard, I'm back, and I'm gonna kick ass!"

"Ooh! Go you!"

"Hey, is that any way to talk to your friend?"

"Who, you Gimli? I'm not really your friend..."

"No! I'm Frodo!!"

"Actually, some mad blonde creep is Frodo."

"So? I'm the real Frodo..." Frodo says, his lip quivering.

"Aww, poor baby." Boromir says sarcastically.

"You mean you don't...like me?" Frodo croaks.

"No, I hate you."

"WAHHHH!!"

"Wow, besides kicking arse, he's actually pretty mean."

"Hey, Gondor, I heard that!"

"My name is NOT GONDOR!! I am Boromir the Tall, the Fair, and the Bold!"

"Where'd you get that?"

"Lord of the Rings Pg. 407-408."

"What's that?"

"A lament for me!"

"You mean, for Aragorn."

"Oh, why does he get all the good songs???"

"Whatever..."

"Speaking of Gondor..."

"NO! STOP SINGING!!!"

Boromir waltzes through the woods singing the Gondorian National Anthem (See last chapter)

"It's gonna be a long road to Rohan."

"We're going to Rohan?" Boromir asks, stopping his beautiful singing.

"Yep, so don't worry about ol' Merry and Pippin, or Gandalf, they're fine and what not so don't worry. Let's go! We've got an Possessed King to Cure and a Woman's Heart to Break!"

"Who's doing this heart breaking?"

"None other than you, Boromir."

"Damn. I always get the weird parts. First Arwen the Airhead, now I have to break a heart? What if she's cuter than Arwen??"

"Er, your funeral."

A/N: OK, there it is!!!! EH! So, look for more random silliness and other pointless stuff in the EXCITING next chapter!!! Ok, and some weird Faramir ness, coming soon!!!