"Once more, we're back, and the author has so informed me that this is the last part of this fanfiction!" Tea said. "Isn't that awful? After this part is over, I won't be able to announce anymore. I know you're all as sad as I am," she wiped a tear from her eye, "but I'll be okay. I'm sure my friends will help me through this. Speaking of my friends, they're all doing something really weird. Since the end of part six a few weeks ago, they've just been gathering baseballs on the mound. Even the spectators and the left-over reserve players are out there. They've got a pretty big pile. Let's watch and see what they do."

A pile of baseballs fifty feet high was teetering on the pitcher's mound. The players are still staggering around the field, picking up MORE baseballs and throwing them in the pile.

(Where could they possibly be getting all these baseballs, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. The only possible explanation for this many baseballs is... IT'S RAINING BASEBALLS! Ahahahahahahaha!)

Sakura looked at all the madness around her and threw up her hands. "That's it, I'm outta here." She used the Fly Card to sprout wings and disappeared into the clouds above.

"HIEI!"

Everyone snapped out of their zombie trance at the sound of a seriously shrill voice screaming from the tunnel leading into the stadium.

The bars blocking the exits on the field froze and shattered. Yukina walked in.

"Hiei, you had better get your butt home right now!" Yukina scolded. "Father has been searching for you for over an hour! I swear there was steam shooting out of his ears! When I left, he was cursing all of Spirit World and threatening Koenma's life if he didn't have you found and brought home immediately. He said you were a juvenile delinquent who needed to be brought home in a police car."

"I'm not going." Hiei said stubbornly.

Yukina's eye twitched. "WHAT?"

"Tell Father to do his own stupid chores." Hiei said. "I'm not going."

Yukina twitched again and grabbed Hiei's ear. "You wanna bet?" She yanked hard and started to drag Hiei out of the stadium.

"NO!" Hiei shouted. "I'm not leaving! Not until we kill that stupid friendship witch up there! I can't rest until I know she's dead!"

Yukina glared at Hiei and he was instantly encased in a block of solid ice. She pointed at the two people nearest to her, Jinei and Sojiro.

"Hey, you two! Pick him up. You're going to carry him home for me."

Jinei laughed. "That's what you think."

Yukina's eyes turned red. "DO YOU WANT ME TO FREEZE YOU, TOO?"

"No!" They exclaimed.

"THEN PICK HIM UP!"

Jinei and Sojiro grabbed Hiei, heaved him onto their shoulders and followed Yukina off the field from a safe distance.

"I don't know what the world's coming to." Yukina muttered. "In the good old days, I didn't have to threaten people to make them do things for me."

(Go, Yukina! You show those numbskulls that women rule!)

"Hey, does this mean I'm on the team now?" Kuwabara asked.

"No." Kaoru said. "We're not playing anymore."

"That's what all the kids at school say, too!" Kuwabara exclaimed. "They'll be having fun, playing tag, then I ask to join and suddenly they quit! WHY? I JUST WANT TO BE INCLUDED! WHY DOES NO ONE LIKE ME?"

"Because you're a punk." Genkai said.

"Urameshi's a punk and everybody LOVES him! He's even got a girlfriend!"

"That's because Yusuke is a funny punk." Genkai said. "You're just a stupid punk." "Do you think we have enough?" Saisaichi asked, looking at the pile of baseballs.

"Looks good to me." Pegasus said, sipping some white "grape juice" from a wine glass.

"Then let's start." Rain said.

Everyone loaded their arms with baseballs and faced the announcer's box.

Grandpa stood at the front of the group, dressed in an old gray uniform that looked like it was from the Civil War. He pointed a long shiny sword toward the announcer's box and yelled, "Fire at will!"

The baseballs started to fly unchecked. The first wave smashed the windows of the announcer's box, sending shards of glass flying at Tea. They landed all around her, forming a perfect outline and pinning her to the wall. Then more baseballs came flying in. Hundreds of baseballs flew in, all hitting Tea at once and...bouncing off without leaving even a tiny bruise!

(What the (beep)! That's not supposed to happen!)

Tea laughed evilly. Her eyes were rolling around in their socket and slowly changing color until they were blood red.

(Oh. I forgot about that. Never mind.)

"Foolish human mortals!" Tea roared. "You cannot harm me! The power of friendship is on my side. It will protect me from your pitiful attempts to murder me, and when I get free, there will be heck to pay!"

The players stop throwing baseballs and stare at each other in disgust.

"Heck?" Yami Bakura said. "What kind of self-respecting all-powerful demon uses the word 'heck' in a death threat?"

"Yeah, to tell you the truth, it doesn't exactly make me want to beg for my life." Marie Louise said.

"MAI was scarier than that." Rex added.

"Oh, shut up!" Tea yelled. "I'm doing the best I can! I haven't got a lot of experience at the whole being evil thing! I just need some practice!"

"Can we kill her now?" Wong asked. "I want to go home. My coat's starting to come unglued and I can't have it falling off my shoulders now, can I?"

"Oh, yes, that would just be SO bad for you reputation." Master Asia said. He began to prance around the field. "Ooo, look at me, my coat fell on the ground. I'm so stupid and lazy I have to call my secretary in to pick it up for me."

"You wanna fight?" Wong asked, raising his hand. "I don't need a secretary around to help me make this hand into a fist!"

His fingers twitched for a couple seconds, but they only bent halfway, then somehow twisted themselves into a huge knot.

Master Asia started laughing.

"Well, what do we do now?" Weevil asked. "We can't kill her with the baseballs and we're too lazy to walk up all those stairs and finish her."

(Hold on. I have an idea!)

Typing furiously, the writer of the fanfic (me) quickly logs onto the internet and composes an email.

(And send. There we go, all done.)

"Now what?" Megumi asked.

(Wait for it.)

The door to the announcer's box burst open and white light flooded in. A large, misshapen shadow was sitting in the doorway.

"Okay, cut the spotlight." The shadow said.

The light turned off and Yami was sitting in the doorway on the back of a large wooden sawhorse.

"We couldn't find a real one on such short notice." Yami explained.

(Don't care. On to what he's wearing)

Yami was wearing nothing but buckles. Both his shirt and pants were composed entirely of buckles.

"Actually, these aren't really pants." Yami said. "I didn't have any clean ones, so I put on a pair of black underwear and a bunch of buckles to make it look like pants."

(Did. NOT. Need. To. Know. Thank you much. To continue.)

There is a buckle on every spike in his hair. He has a buckle around his forehead, buckle earrings-

"Hey, I have a buckle belly button ring, too." Yami said. "You wanna see it?"

(NO!)

Buckles around his fingers, and buckles at one inch intervals around his belt. There's a belt holding him on the sawhorse made of buckles. Even his shoes have buckles instead of laces.

Yami shrugged. "I never learned to tie them."

(That's great, but could you please get on with the dramatic dialogue? I've got a schedule to keep.)

"Oh." Yami jumped up, the buckle belt around his waist bringing the sawhorse with him. It was now hanging from his back. He cleared his throat to make his voice deeper.

"I'm here to stop you, evil demon! You shall harm no more innocents here on this day, for I have come to slay you...but, since the writer can't stand blood, I'll just send you to the Shadow Realm."

(Thanks.)

"Hey, no problem." Yami pointed his palm at Tea and called upon the power of his Millennium Puzzle. "Mind Shatter!"

The entire scene inverted colors for a split second, then Tea heaved and puked a huge black shadow all over the floor.

"Ewww..." Yami said, prancing about on his tiptoes, trying not to step in the black spew.

There was a loud flushing noise and the shadow began to swirl, around and around, toward the center of the floor, where it was sucked into the Shadow Realm.

"NOOOO!" The shadow screamed. "I must have my revenge! I will return! I swear it!"

"Oh, so NOW it starts swearing." Yami Bakura muttered.

Tea's eyes went back to normal and she was crying.

"You saved me from that evil monster!" Tea said. "I LOVE YOU!"

She pulled off the wall, sending glass shards flying, and ran to Yami, arms outstretched, making kissing noises.

Yami shrieked. He put the sawhorse's legs back on the floor and shouted, "Ride like the wind, Splinters!"

The sawhorse, being an inanimate object, didn't move.

"Get me out of here now or I'll throw you in the wood chipper!" Yami yelled.

The sawhorse reared up and bolted out the door. The only thing keeping Yami on its back was the buckle-studded belt wrapped around the two of them.

"Well, that was strange." Rando said.

"I don't understand it!" Yami Bakura yelled. "Why didn't he kill her? WHY? He had the perfect opportunity!"

Yahiko smacked Yami Bakura and pointed to home plate, where everyone else was staring. Ilube stood there.

"Oh, look, Scarface is back." Kaoru said.

"SHUT UP!" Ilube yelled. "I told you to stop making fun of me!"

"What are you going to do about it?" Megumi asked. "Have your mommy come out here and teach us a lesson?"

"No." Ilube said. "I couldn't find my mommy. I brought my big brother instead."

A huge monstrosity of a human being lumbered out of the shadows. It had a tiny body, but its head is the size of a blimp!

(Well, I guess the unproportioned body is genetic.)

"I heard yoose guys was making fun of my baby bro." The creature said. "I'm here to make sure it stops. Permanently."

Ilube's brother took a deep breath and belched a stream of fire at the players, incinerating every one of them. Then he picked Ilube up and left.

(Well, that's the end. Pretty anticlimactic, huh?)

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

(Hold up. I think we missed somebody.)

Marik is still chained against the wall of the stadium, now screaming in pain from the hit he took in the eye waaaay back in part one.

(Wow. I forgot about him.)

"MY EYE! MY EYE! OH, IT HURTS! MAKE THE PAIN STOP! GIVE ME SOME VODKA! SOME DOPE! SOME PCP! ANYTHING ILLEGAL TO MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!"

(It took THAT long for the pain from part one to reach his only remaining brain cell? It must be like deep space in Marik's head. Vast, dark, and EMPTY! Oh, well. That's the end folks. There is no more.)

No, seriously, that's it. You can go away now.

Why are you still here! It's over! Get on with your life!

That's it, I'm out of here. Later.

The End